Memories of Ouran
by MissHikaHaru
Summary: When Haruhi Fujioka, a simple teenage girl with big ambitions, arrives at the elite Ouran Academy as an honour student she can't believe her luck. But pretty soon that fuzzy feeling vanishes, as she stumbles upon the Host Club; who turn out to be the biggest, baddest, best thing to happen to her life. Rated T for use of language :p
1. Starting today, you are a Host!

**Ouran High School Host Club is my all time favourite anime, and so I decided to create an entirely fan-written version of the series, however I will be added my own moments mostly in the direction of HikaHaru (my favourite shipping) Of course I own absolutely NOTHING, Ouran and all its brilliant characters belong to the wonderful Bisco Hatori. Written from Haruhi's p.o.v, about a year after she joined the Host Club. I really hope you enjoy reading this fanfic, because I spend so much time trying to think of ways to make the anime/manga come alive through words. If you have anything you want to say about this or any of the other chapters, whether it's good or bad, please please please leave a comment! I'd love to hear from you!**

...

Only those with excellent social standing, and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here, at the elite private school, Ouran Academy. The Ouran Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys, with too much time on their hands, entertain young ladies, who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy's playground for the super-rich and beautiful!

Yes, thank you, Tamaki. Now would you please shut up? This is my book, not yours. Okay, first things first, I'm a girl of seventeen years old. I'm also a Host.

Yeah, because you're a hermaphrodite.

Shut up, you two! Sorry, that was the twins. While I go and knock their heads together, how about you just go ahead and read the book? Hope you enjoy it – Haruhi Fujioka x

Chapter 1

Starting today, you are a Host!

I pulled open the door to Library 4. Despite being a library there was a buzz of chatter and laughter. It was packed with all those rich kid students in their rich kid uniforms. I'd been at the academy long enough to know that they would sneer at my clothing. My family couldn't even afford the proper uniform, so I had to make use of what little we had.

I sighed, turning away and closing the door. I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder, pushing the thick-rimmed glasses up my nose. I started walking away, hoping to find somewhere quiet to study. I would have been happy enough with a broom cupboard, but even they were bigger than my bedroom at home. Way for those damn wealthy snobs to rub it in my face. The school had four libraries, you'd think at least one of them would be quiet.

The bag on my shoulder was heavy with textbooks on law and psychology, and I began to ache after about half an hour searching for a quiet room. I passed a corridor of high windows on the second floor, and paused to look at a flock of white birds flying past behind the clean glass. I dropped my bag on the sleek floor beside me, and walked over to press myself against the window. My breath fogged on the glass, and I looked out at the birds as they flapped up through the chilly Spring skies.

They flew up and out of sight behind a group of large, fluffy white clouds. Thin rays of weak sunlight broke through, illuminating the courtyard below. The cherry blossoms were just coming into bud, small pink petals starting to show along the dewy branches. A few droplets of rain were still stuck to the windows from this morning's quick shower. As the sunlight shone through them, tiny rainbows danced along the floor and walls around me.

I smiled faintly, putting a hand on the cool glass of the window. I looked up at the clouds, the sunlight fading for a moment. How are things in Heaven, mum? I can't believe it's been ten years, already…

I let my hand slide from the window, absentmindedly ruffling my short, wiry hair. I was still so unused to it. I shook my head quickly, snapping back to reality. I stooped and picked up my bag, positioning it on my other shoulder. I started away down the corridor, towards a wide staircase to the next floor. After spending almost a week at this school, I still didn't know if it was possible to find a quiet place to just sit and study. All the other students had such high standing or rich families that it didn't matter what they did with their education. I was starting to think that all these rich kid snobs just came here to have a good time.

It was much more difficult for someone like me. I was poor. I was amazed when I was accepted to Ouran Academy. I had been the only student exceptional enough, in many years, to have received an honour student enrolment. But I had started term many weeks later than everybody else, because I'd had to gather all the funds to pay for it. Even though I was an honour student I still had to pay a small fee to attend. I ascended the stairs, and looked up and down the corridor. No doors. I looked behind me, to see a single doorway about forty feet away. I reached the end of the corridor, and looked at the plaque on the wall beside the high double doors. Music Room 3.

"Huh, an abandoned music room…?" I guessed, looking back over my shoulder. I couldn't hear anything from inside. "I guess this is the place for me to study," I reached for the handle, and pushed the door open slowly. I peered inside, looking around. There were a few pedestals; some expensive looking ornaments perched on them, and lots of flowers. I took a step forward, but then faltered. The door swung shut behind me.

"Welcome," said a boy with sleek, curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was smiling warmly, ensconced in a plush throne-like armchair. Behind him and on either side were five other boys. Two I presumed to be twins; on account of their unerringly identical features. They had ruffled tawny hair, dark green eyes and mischievous smiles on their matching faces. Their only difference was the parting of their tousled hair.

The bespectacled boy standing directly behind the one on the chair was tall and thin, with pale skin and raven hair. His eyes were dark grey, almost black. Beside him was another black haired boy, but even taller, with pale skin and a silent, stony face. He looked at least six feet tall. Next to him was the boy I found strangest of all. He was small. Tiny. He looked only about nine, and yet sported the Senior School uniform. He had big brown eyes and curly blonde hair, his cheeks full and rosy. His little face was bright with a beam of wide delight, his eyes shining.

I had found the Host Club, although I did not know it yet. My eyes were wide, and I was fumbling for the door handle behind my back. After they looked at me for a moment, their faces almost seemed to fall with disappointment.

"Oh, it's just a boy," the twins said, speaking with perfect synchronization. Boy? Boy!? What the hell!? I was a girl, plain as anything! The one with glasses flipped open a small black book, and I saw his dark eyes quickly scanning a page.

"Hikaru, Kaoru," he said, snapping the book shut. "I believe this young man is in the same class as you, isn't he?"

"Yeah," the twins said together. It unnerved me how they could speak together at exactly the same time. "But he's shy. He doesn't act very sociably, so we don't know much about him," The boy with glasses laughed quietly, and turned towards me.

"Well, that wasn't very polite," He shot a sideways glance at the twins, but then he looked back at me. "Welcome to the Ouran Host Club, Mr. Honour Student,"

"What?" the blonde boy in the chair cried, leaping to his feet at almost comical speed. He fixed me with wide blue eyes, and smiled. "You're Haruhi Fujioka! You're the exceptional honour student I've heard so much about!" I stopped reaching around for the handle, almost staring through my wide eyes. He knew my name…h-how did he know? And why was it so hard for them to see I was a girl?

"How…how do you know my name?" I asked, my voice faltering slightly. _How did he know my name!?_ I'd never so much as seen him before in my life.

"You're infamous," the boy with glasses said, and my gaze flicked over to him. "It's not every day that a commoner gains entrance into our academy," Commoner!? If I was close enough I would throttle him. "You must have an audacious nerve to fight your way into this school, as an honour student, Mr. Fujioka,"

"Well, uh…" What the hell did I even mean to say? "T-thank you…I guess…" The boy with blonde hair walked over to me, smiling playfully.

"You're welcome," he said brightly, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "You're a hero to other poor people, Fujioka," I was going to punch him. "You've set an example that even a poor person can excel into any private academy," Right in the stomach. But that wouldn't help me, in any situation. I threw his arm off my shoulder, trying to step away from him, but he just seemed to follow me like an over obsessed puppy. "It must be hard for you to be constantly looked down upon by others,"

"I think you're taking this 'poor' thing a little too far," I muttered, stumbling a little as I tried to get away from him. The twins were watching after us with amusement, grinning insolently.

"Scorned, neglected," he continued, oblivious to my discomfort. I decided, then and there, that he was an idiot. "Well, it doesn't really matter now," He somehow caught up to me, his arm once again across my shoulders. "Long live the poor! We welcome you, poor man…" He let go of me, bowing low, before he looked up. There was a glint in his bright blue eyes. "…into our world of beauty!" He thrust out his arms, as if ready to embrace me, and what looked awfully like glitter burst from his now open hands.

"I'm out of here," I said bluntly, turning towards the door and walking away.

"Hey!" a high-pitched, giggling voice cried. I turned just in time to see the little boy with blonde hair running towards me, reaching out to grab my arm. "Come back here, Haru-chan!" He pulled me back towards the others with surprising strength. "That's really amazing, Haru-chan! You must be like a superhero or something, to be that clever!"

"I'm not a hero, I'm an honour student," I said flatly. I rolled my eyes, but then I realized. _What_ had he just called me? "And who said you could call me Haru-chan!?" I shouted, wrenching my arm free from his grip. He looked just about ready to cry, and turned to jump into the tall boy with a stony face, who tucked him onto his shoulders. He narrowed his dark eyes at me, his thin mouth curved down in a scowl. I felt a shudder of fear and shame prickle down my back.

"I never imagined such an infamous scholar," the boy from the chair said, and I turned my head to look at him, fuming. "Would be so openly gay," Openly…_what_? How did he jump to _that_ conclusion? "So tell me what kind of guys you're into," he said cheerfully, clapping a hand on my shoulder. I was extremely tempted to pinch it very hard. "Do you like the strong, silent type?" He waved a hand in the direction of the black haired boy with the younger one on his shoulders. "The boy-lolita?" His hand flicked up to the little blonde boy. I said nothing, my eyelid twitching. "How about the mischievous type?" the boy offered, motioning towards the twins, who winked at me. They even _winked_ at the same time. Perhaps there was only one, and I was just seeing double? I made a mental note to get my glasses checked out… "Or the cool type?" He pointed at the boy with glasses.

'Okay, I'm officially getting freaked out,' I thought. I started backing away in what I hoped was the direction to the door.

"I-I, uh," I stammered, the words seeming to stick in my throat. "I-It's really not like that! I was just looking for—"

"Then why did you even come to the Host Club, in the first place?" the twins asked. Stop talking at the same time! Was I hearing things as well?

"Or maybe," the blonde boy's voice was hushed as he stepped towards me. My eyes widened as his fingers stroked down the side of my face. "You're into a guy like me…" He leaned in closer towards me, and I heard a low chuckle escape him, his bright blue eyes gazing into my own; dark brown and wide as they would go. "…the princely type," He winked at me, flashing a smile of dazzlingly white teeth. "So what do you say?"

No! Dear God, no! I pushed him off me, stepping quickly backwards.

"I'm sorry, but I really don—aargh!" I stumbled over my feet, falling backwards and knocking against one of the pedestals I had seen earlier. I gasped, turning to see a blue china vase falling from it to the floor. I turned as fast as I could, snatching through the air at it. My fingertips just brushed one of the golden handles, but then it smashed to the floor with a loud _crash_. There was silence throughout the room, and I stood there, shaking, simply staring at the thousand shattered pieces of china.

"Nice going, pauper," two voices spoke in synchronization. I turned my head guiltily to see all six members of the Host Club staring at me.

"Now you've done it, commoner! We were going to sell that Renaissance vase in an upcoming school auction," one of them said.

"We were going to start the bidding price at eight million yen!" the other said. The number hit me. Eight…million…? Okay, how many thousand was in eight million?

"Er…" my voice was cracking as I straightened up, trying not to connect eyes with any of the Host Club. "I'm going to have to…pay you back…"

"With what?" the twins asked coldly, looking me up and down. "You can't even afford a school uniform," The boy with glasses flipped open his black book again, flicking to a clean page and clicking the nib on a pen.

"So, what do you think we should do, Tamaki?" he asked, surveying me over the top of his glasses. The 'princely' blonde boy walked back over to his lavish chair and sat down, crossing his legs almost dramatically.

"There is an ancient saying you may have heard, gentlemen," he said, leaning back in his chair. He fixed me with a sly smile. "When in Rome, you do as the Romans do. Since you have no money, you can pay with your body," My body? If that meant what I thought it did I wasn't going to go down without a fight. "That means, starting today, you are a Host!"

"I didn't know we lived in Rome," the twins whispered to one another, devilish grins on their identical faces.

"A…Host?" I repeated. The boy, Tamaki, shrugged.

"To put it in a better way," he said, "You're the Host Club's dog," Great, so now I was a dog? I don't know if I can deal with this, mum. I've been captured by a bunch of boys who call themselves a club. If only you were here to help me through with it…

... ….

The Host Club is open for business.

One week later, and I was still a Host. Well, a Host's dog. The seemingly quiet music room was filled by girls every day, sat at tables and sofas, constantly chatting and gossiping with each of the Hosts. I was simply at their beck and call, most often serving tea to the 'customers'.

"So, Tamaki-senpai," a girl said, setting down her teacup and turning towards him. "What's your favourite colour?" Tamaki paused, stealing a quick glance at her face. He smiled, flashing his clean, white teeth.

"Why, green of course," he said, flicking his long blonde hair back from his face. "The colour of your beautiful eyes,"

"So what's your favourite song?" another girl asked.

"Oh, a song to remind me of you, my darling," Tamaki laughed, plucking a rose from the vase before him. He sniffed it lightly, sighing contentedly.

"I baked you a cake today," Would these girls just stop? What was so great about these Hosts, anyway? "Would you like to taste it?" Tamaki leaned towards the girl, fixing her with his deep blue gaze. He offered forward the rose.

"Only if you'll feed it to me," he whispered. She took the rose with trembling fingers, her cheeks flushing pink as she smiled weakly at him. "Though I'm sure nothing could be as sweet as your gorgeous smile…my princess…"

"Oh, you're so dreamy…" the girl breathed, almost falling backwards into the girl beside her. I pushed open the door, back from the Host Club's demanding grocery trip, holding a large paper bag in my arms. There was the sound of quiet footsteps, I turned my head to see a pretty girl standing behind Tamaki's chair. She had long straight brown hair and dark grey eyes that seemed to convey no emotion, despite the wry smile on her pale lips.

"May I have a word with you, dearest Tamaki?" she asked. The boy in the chair looked round, and smiled. He got to his feet, bowing low. She offered him her hand, and he took it, planting a light kiss on her fingers. A little presumptuous, aren't we? He offered his arm for her to take, and they started across the room. "I heard that, recently, the Host Club has been keeping a little kitten to do their bidding?"

"Ha," Tamaki laughed. Kitten? Stuck up rich kid snob. "I don't know if we could call him that," I rolled my eyes. Yeah, you can't call me kitten because I'm your puppy instead. Tamaki caught sight of me. "Speak of the devil," He smiled, waving a hand at me. I didn't bother returning the gesture. "How did it go, my little piglet? Did you get everything on our list?" Yeah, all seventy three requested items.

"Piglet?" I mumbled, scowling at him. I shrugged, walking over to a spare table and setting down the heavy bag before it ripped. I rolled my sore shoulders, pushing my glasses back up my nose. I started to unpack the bag, starting with the coffee pots.

"Wait," Tamaki said, catching sight of one. He let go of the girl, who scowled, and walked over to me. "What's this?" he asked, taking one off the table. He turned it over in his hands, examining the label as if he'd never so much as heard of coffee in his life. I frowned at him, pausing from my unpacking.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a lump forming in my throat. Had I bought the wrong kind? Why was he so interested in this pot of coffee?

"Ne…" His brows were furrowed as he stared at the brand name. "Nes..cafe. Nescafe?" He looked up at me, to see me staring at him. "Is that right? Nescafe?"

"Uh…yeah," I said slowly.

"I've never heard of it before," he said, setting it down on the table. "Is it some sort of French food?"

"It's coffee," I said bluntly. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"It's just powder," he replied, still frowning at the coffee pots on the table.

"Yes," I said. "It's just pre-ground coffee," A few girls had come up to join him, the pretty girl with brown hair among them.

"You mean to tell me you can simply buy coffee, that's already been ground?" he asked, his eyes wide with almost amazement.

"What are you getting so excited about?" I asked, a little bewildered. "I mean, it's just instant coffee,"

"It's instant?" the girl with brown hair asked, her voice skeptical.

"Um, yeah," I replied, and all of them looked at me. "You just add it to hot water, and then stir it up,"

"I didn't know there was such a thing," Tamaki said in an excited voice.

"Commoner's coffee," the girl with brown hair said without interest. I scowled at her. "It must be true, then; poor people don't even have enough time to grind their own coffee beans," Stuck up, pompous down right rude rich little—

"Commoners must be pretty smart," came two voices. I looked round to see that the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru Hitatchin, had joined us. One picked up a pot of coffee and examining it.

"They even have really low prices,"

"That's a lot less than we usually pay," said the other, taking it from his brother's hand and inspecting the label. I snatched it from his hand and put it back in the bag.

"Well excuse me for not buying expensive coffee, like you're so used to," I snapped, starting to pack the others in too. "I'll go back and get something else,"

"No, that's okay," Tamaki said, reaching out and stopping my hand. I faltered at his touch, and looked up at him. He was smiling slightly, his hand held lightly over mine. "I'll keep it," There was a surprised murmur, and he took the coffee from my hand. "I'm going to give it a try," He raised the pot above his head, for all the girls to see. "I will drink this coffee!" There was a sharp intake of breath, before the girls began to applaud his chivalry.

"Alright then, Haruhi," the twins said, grabbing me by each arm. "Go ahead and make us some of this commoner's coffee," It was like being a servant. I hated these damn rich people.

"Oh, Tamaki," the girl with brown hair laughed, taking the coffee from his hands and thrusting it with distaste at me. I took it, scowling at her. Tamaki winked at her, walking towards the table where I brewed the tea. The girl hadn't noticed. She was eyeing me with slight amusement, a cold smile on her face. "Now you're taking the joke too far. You're going to despoil your palette just to stomach that vile stuff. You shouldn't drink it just because he bought it,"

"Huh?" I asked. She shook her head quickly, seeing that Tamaki and the other girls had walked off. "What was all that about?"

"Oh, nothing," she said, sweeping her long hair back behind her shoulder. "I was just talking to myself," I opened my mouth to speak.

"Haruhi!" a voice called, and I looked round to see Tamaki and the girls waiting for me. I sighed, leaving the bag to unpack later.

"Coming," I said without enthusiasm. I walked over, seeing the table covered with empty teacups. I put a spoonful of ground coffee beans in each, and then poured the scalding water from the teapot. Tamaki seemed riveted by the demonstration of commoners coffee by a commoner. I stirred each cup with a spoon, and was finished within minutes. "There," I said flatly.

"Let the tasting commence!" Tamaki said brightly, offering the cups to the girls around him. They each took one tentatively, eyeing the steaming brown liquid with quiet distaste. One girl, with short brown hair and hazel eyes, sniffed hers curiously.

"I'm a little worried about drinking this," she said, looking up at Tamaki. "If my father found out I drank commoner's coffee he might get angry with me," I knew what was about to happen. It did. Tamaki's hands were on either side of her face, his bright blue eyes gazing into hers.

"What if you were to drink it from my mouth?" he whispered. There was silence among the other girls, and the one in his arms blushed furiously.

"Th-then I would drink it!" she said breathlessly. The girls collapsed into screams of giggles and delight, and Tamaki winked at her. He pulled back, the girl's eyes glazed over as she straightened up. I almost retched. That was what made girls happy? Mouth to mouth…with coffee? Was I the _only one_ in this world that was sane?

I walked away in disgust, passing the twins as they sat together with a pair of girls. I caught a snatch of their conversation as I pushed past their table.

"So then," one of them laughed, which of them - I could not tell. "He got so scared of his nightmare, that he jumped out of his bed into mine," The girls giggled, but the other twin flushed pink.

"Hikaru," he moaned, sinking low in his chair. "Don't tell them that story," I stopped, turning my head to look at them. He seemed more upset than he should have been, almost like he was about to cry. "I asked you not to tell anyone that…why are you so mean to me?" He turned his head away, and I saw a small tear trickling down his cheek. Well, that escalated quickly…

The girls couldn't help but 'aaaaw', scornfully shaking their heads at Hikaru. I had no idea what to expect.

"I'm so sorry, Kaoru," Hikaru said quietly, rising from his chair and bending over his brother. He took his face in his hands, moving so close their freckled noses almost touched. Both their cheeks flushed pink. "I didn't mean to upset you…but you were so adorable when it happened, that I simply had to tell them…I'm sorry…"

Kaoru was holding his brother's arms, gazing back into Hikaru's green eyes.

"I forgive you…" he breathed. The girls broke into fits of giggles, but the twins didn't break apart. I shook my head in disgust, turning away. What was this? Twincest? This club was even creepier than I thought. Mum, I wish you could help…

I saw two figures walking through the doors. Mitskuni Haninozuka – or Honey as he was nicknamed - was perched on top of Takashi Morinozuka's shoulders, rubbing his big brown eyes.

"Sorry," Honey yawned in his high, childlike voice. "I was waiting for Takashi to finish something, and I fell asleep," I heard about four sets of footsteps, and turned my head to see a group of girls running forwards. "And I'm still not completely awake,"

"Aw, you're so cute, Honey!" they cooed, and Mori set Honey slowly down onto the floor. Honey beamed at them. He let them take his hands and lead him over to a sofa, where he sat between them, his little feet barely reaching over the edge of the seat.

"I still can't believe that boy is a senior school student," I said, watching as Mori brought him a large slice of cake, his face – as ever – silent as the grave.

"Honey may seem childish," a voice came from behind me, and I turned to see Kyoya Otori, the boy with glasses, standing there. "But he's a prodigy, and the oldest one here," I looked back at Honey, and couldn't help but feel a little skeptical.

"So how old is he?" I asked.

"Seventeen," he replied, flipping open his little black book.

"You're kidding,"

"Why should I? I don't gain from it,"

"When's his birthday?"

"February 29th, 1995," Kyoya said coolly.

"February 29th?" I repeated. He nodded, snapping his book shut. "So he was born on a leap year?" Another nod. I guess that explained his size, but still…

"Haru-chan!" I looked up, to see Honey racing towards me. My eyes widened with shock, but I hadn't so much as taken a step back before he jumped into me, wrapping his arms and legs around me. It was like having a little blonde monkey strapped around my chest. He looked up at me, delight in his large eyes. "Do you want to come and eat some cake with us?"

"Thanks, but I don't really like cake," I replied, trying to gently pries him off me.

"Then how would you like to play with my rabbit Usa-chan?"

"I'm not all that into bunnies," Honey's face fell, and it looked like he was going to cry. He let go of me, slipping down to the floor. I noticed the pink fluffy rabbit drooping from his right hand, and he looked up at me through teary eyes.

"Are you saying you don't like Usa-chan?" he asked sadly, holding up the fuzzy toy. It had little brown button eyes, and a sweetly painted brown mouth. Little pink thread whiskers poked from its fluffy cheeks, and it had a big bushy white tail. I smiled, bending down to get a closer look at him.

"I guess he is kinda cute, huh?" I said, smiling as sweetly as I could. Something about my face seemed to make Honey's eyes light up. There was a light bulb going off in his head. He held Usa-chan up to me, and I took it gently from his tiny hands. Almost as soon as I had the toy in my grasp he turned around and started skipping back towards the girls.

"Take good care of him, okay?" he giggled, jumping onto the sofa. A girl was ready and waiting with a piece of sugary cake on a fork. I stared at the rabbit in my hands, and it stared back through its glassy eyes.

"You'll notice that our club deals in each other's characteristics, dictated by the desires of our guests," Kyoya said, and I looked up at him from the rabbit. "Just so you know, Tamaki is number one around here. He's the proclaimed king," Out came the little black book again. "His request rate is 70%,"

"What's this world coming to?" I breathed, scouting the room for Tamaki. He was surrounded by girls, the one with long brown hair making particular effort to maintain his attention. Kyoya laughed quietly at my words.

"And, in order to pay off you debt to the Host Club, you are our designated errand boy," he continued. I didn't say anything. At least the title of errand boy was better than…piglet. "You can try to run off if you want to, but I'd be warned. My family employs a private police force of one hundred officers," He flashed me a smile. A smile of pure evil. "By the way…do you have a passport?"

"You're going to have to work hard to pay off that debt," two voices came from either side of me. The twins blew into my ears, and I shuddered as the cold breath tingled inside me. I pulled away, turning to see them laughing.

"Please don't do that again," I said., clapping my hands over my ears.

"You're going to need a serious make over if you want any girl to look at you," they said, looking me up and down. Tamaki had come over, leaning an arm around either of the twins.

"Yeah, well, I'm not exactly_ trying_ to get girls to look at me," I replied flatly.

"Are you kidding me?" Tamaki gasped, letting go of the twins and pushing through them towards me. I looked at him, my eyebrows raised. "It's the most important thing!" He took my arms, staring into my face. "You have to look like a gentleman, to please the ladies…like me," He winked, and I shook my head slowly.

"I just don't think it's all that important," I shrugged, and his face seemed to fall in surprise. "Why should I be worried about appearances? I mean, all that really matters is on the inside, right?" He was silent, simply staring into my face. His eyes were glazed over, as if his thoughts were fogging up his vision. It seemed almost too much for his tiny brain to handle. But then he smiled.

"Such a shame that it's a rarity for our God to create someone so perfect, inside and out, as moi," he said, pulling away from me. What? "I understand how you feel, but you must console yourself," I frowned at him, then shot a questioning glance at the twins. They just shrugged. "How else would you carry on living? But here's a question, Haruhi; why d'you think they display works of art in museums?" He didn't even let me answer. "To share their beauty with the world!" He let out a contented, self-satisfied sigh.

He was enjoying himself. I could tell. But he didn't stop there, he just carried on talking about beauty and his looks and God only knows what else. I just stopped listening. How does one describe someone like him? What is it? That one word. Uh, maybe…no, that's not it. I just had it, the word right on the tip of my tongue. Annoying? Yes, but there was another word that would fit him perfectly. Oh, wait… I got it!

"And remember, Haruhi," he continued, oblivious to my vacancy. "A glance to the side is always effective with the ladies,"

"Obnoxious!" I said. Tamaki faltered instantly, fixing me with a wide eyed stare similar to one of a person just punched in the face with an iron fist. His eye twitched, as did the corner of his mouth, and for a moment he was silent. Then he sank to the floor, and shuffled away on his toes to the corner. He sat there, dejectedly facing the wall, like a child being punished. I had no idea what had just happened. But he was a pain in the neck…

"Oh, um…" What was I even meant to say for a situation like this? "Sorry, senpai…" The twins laughed, leaning an arm on either of my shoulders.

"You're awesome, y'know that?" they said.

"Nobody ever interrupts him," the one on my left said.

"And never with something as funny as that," the one on my right said. I shrugged them off, and walked over to him in the corner.

"Hey, senpai?" I said quietly, bending down and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that your, um…'lesson' struck a small chord with me," He raised his head and looked at me, and then he jumped to his feet.

"Really, it did?" he asked excitedly, almost as if nothing had happened. Resilient as well as obnoxious. "Well, then, let me teach you more!" He cried, offering me his hand. No thanks, I learned enough from your first paragraph. "My friend," He winked at me. Friend? Seriously?

"You can teach him all the basics of Hosting," the twins said. "But he's not going to get very far with the ladies, if he looks like that," I scowled at them, but one walked over and reached out his hands. I would have stepped back, but Tamaki was in the way. The twin, whichever one he was, took hold of my glasses. "He isn't exactly Host Club material. But maybe if we take off these ghastly things," He pulled them off my nose, and the effect on him was almost instant. "Wow. Nice eyes," he said, pocketing the glasses. A light flashed on above Kyoya's head, much brighter than a bulb normally would. His suspicions were proved correct.

"Hey!" I cried, swiping at them. "I need those!"

"You can get contacts," he said, grabbing my hand. "You don't want to cover up your face, do you? And, though I hate to say it to another guy, you're eyes are pretty cool,"

"Really?" I asked, trying not to sound too pleased. At almost the same time Tamaki pushed the twin away. He looked at me for a moment, then stood aside. He raised his hand in the air above his head, and snapped his fingers, just once. After only a few seconds all of the Hosts were crowded around me. "Okay, what's going o—"

"Hikaru? Kaoru? You know what to do," Tamaki said briskly. The twins nodded, grabbing me by an arm each, and pulling me away towards the store room.

"We're on it, boss!" they cried, throwing open the doors, and tossing me inside. I rolled across the floor, and the twins slammed the doors shut

"That's king, to you!" Tamaki replied. "Kyoya, my hair stylist!" Kyoya pulled a phone from his pocket, flipping up the screen and quickly typing in the desired number. "Mori-senpai, go to the eye doctor and find Haruhi some contact lenses," Mori nodded silently, and ran for the main door.

"What about me, Tama-chan?" Honey cried, leaping up and down in excitement.

"Honey-senpai…" Tamaki faltered.

"Yes?" Honey hadn't noticed. "I'm ready for the mission, sir!"

"You…" Tamaki was at a loss for what little Honey could do. "…go have some cake," Honey snapped to attention, his arm raised in a formal salute, Usa-chan tucked under his arm.

"With pleasure, sir," he said, marching away towards the girls at the sofa with almost military precision with his steps. I rubbed the back of my head, looking around the store room. It was filled with clothes racks, some simply containing uniforms, but others were decked out in some of the most flamboyant costumes I had ever seen. Feathers, fur, silk, linen, gold and all sorts of beads and accessories burst from every inch of the room, except for the far end which was devoted to a large curtained area. They looked as if they were hardly used.

"Here," came the voices of the twins, and I heard the scraping of a hanger against the clothes rack frame. "Put on this uniform,"

"What?" I asked, getting to my feet. "But why?"

"Don't ask questions!" the twins cried, leaping towards me and all but attacking me to remove my jumper. I just realized that I was only wearing a vest under my shirt. I wasn't about to let them see me like that. I was still a girl, and I needed privacy in the same way that every girl did. "Change! Change! Change!"

"Alright, fine!" I said angrily, throwing them off as they managed to pull off my jumper. "But you have to get out!" I scrambled back, snatching up the uniform and sprinting for the curtains at the other end of the room.

"Why?" they asked. I threw open the curtains and dashed inside, ripping them shut behind me.

"Because I don't want you looking at me when I'm shirtless, you dumbasses!" I shouted from behind the curtain.

"Jeez, _touchy_," they muttered, turning away.

"I heard that!" I snapped. I didn't continue undressing before I was sure they had left. I didn't want a surprise visit when I didn't have a shirt on. I got undressed as fast as I could, but before I could change shirts I heard the door open again. Buggar, buggar, buggar, buggar, buggar!

"Helloooo?" came a voice I didn't recognize. I heard the door close behind the mystery person, and the quiet clicking of high heeled shoes across the polished floors. "I'm Sabrina Downing, Mr Suoh's personal stylist. I'm here to see one Haruhi Fujioka," The voice wasn't native to Japan, of that I was certain – it was quite nasally, with a strong American accent.

"That's me," I said, and I heard a quiet laugh.

"Oh, so why don't you come on out then, you silly boy?" the woman, Sabrina the Stylist, laughed.

"I'm indecent," I said flatly, quickly unbuttoning my shirt and dropping it to the floor. Sabrina laughed again.

"Oh, I can assure you dear, as a married woman it's nothing I haven't seen before," she called, and I heard her high heels clicking as they came closer. Buggar, buggar, buggar! I pulled on my new shirt, but hadn't even fastened the top button when I saw a hand, with neon pink, inch-long nails, take hold of the curtain opening.

"Hey!" I said angrily, hastily buttoning my shirt as quick as I could. "Did I say you could come in?" I saw the hand retract itself, and then heard the clicking of heels as Sabrina walked a few steps backward.

"No, no, darling, I'm sorry," she laughed. It was a false laugh, just like the ones before. And who was she calling 'darling'? "You're quite right. I was being terribly rude," Yes, you were. I didn't dare say it out loud. I tucked my shirt into my blue Ouran trousers, buckling the black belt around my waist. I was too thin for even the final hole. Damn me, and my skinny girl waist. I pulled on my blue blazer, feeling quite how light it was. It must've been terribly expensive to make.

I didn't want to know how much it cost. The thought of even more debt make me want to cry. I stepped out through the curtains, and saw Sabrina for the first time. Her heels were so high her ankles looked just about ready to snap, her toes elevated a whole inch above the floor. She had a pretty enough face, framed by long platinum hair to her cinched-in waist. Gold bangles and charms glittered on her fingers and arms, peacock feathers dangling from her ears. She got up from her chair when she saw me, her eyes wide.

"Oh Heavens, _darling_!" she cried, taking hold of my hands. "Whatever happened to your hair? It's a good think my dear Tamaki called me when he did!" She steered me into the chair, throwing a cloth around my shoulders. "I simply can't let such a crime against fabulosity go untouched!" Fabulosity? Everyone in this rich kid faculty were idiots. Sabrina spun me around, smoothing the hair back from my face. "Oh, and you have such a pretty little face, too!" she cooed, pulling a pair of scissors from a pocket. "Don't you worry, Sabrina's going to fix you up, honey! Soon you'll have all the ladies crawling at your feet!"

"But I don't want girls to crawl at my feet!" I replied, and she laughed. "I just want them to walk past and say hello!"

"Oh, you are a gem!" Sabrina said, fishing out a comb and parting my hair. "I can see why you're in the Host Club, dear. Why, if I were five years younger, and not married!" Was she serious? It was settled then; my entire future at this school would be spent surrounded by idiots. I would never hear a word of sense before I left for university.

"So, how old are you then?" I asked, hearing the quiet snip of her scissors as she cut away at my hair.

"Oh, I'm twenty two, darling," she replied jovially. "And how old are you?"

"Fifteen," I said. "I'm sixteen in February,"

"Oh, that's nice," she said pleasantly, snipping away. I felt short tufts of my curly brown hair falling away onto the cloth. Soon she was round to face me, combing and then cutting away at my fringe. "I must say, you do have lovely eyes, Haru," She said, stopping for a moment to smile at me.

"So I've been told," I replied. She giggled at that.

"Oh, you are a quick one, Haru," she said, combing my hair towards the right. Then she stopped. "It is okay if I call you that, isn't it, pumpkin?" Haru…Haru. I guessed it was alright. Haru. Actually, I rather liked it.

"Yeah," I replied after a moment's though. I smiled. "Haru's fine,"

"Alrighty then," she winked, cutting away a stray lock of hair. It tickled my nose as it fell down, and she brushed the excess away with a flick of her heavily-ringed hand. She carried on for about five minutes, cutting and combing, cutting and combing, until she announced she was done. I got to my feet and thanked her, and she gave me a kiss on either cheek. I was paranoid that some of her glossy red lipstick had smudged on my cheek. She walked outside, and I went over to the curtain to retrieve my clothes.

"Haruhi?" Tamaki's voice called from the other side. I heard six sets of footsteps, and backed out from behind the curtain.

"Hey, senpai?" I said, turning around. "You're sure it's okay for me to have this uniform?" I caught them all staring at me. "What?" I asked suspiciously, wiping my cheeks in case of any bright red lipstick. The twins held out a mirror, and I walked across the room to take it. When I held its up I saw my faces perfectly framed by my cropped, curly brown hair. It was brushed to the side just above my dark brown eyes, but just long enough to mask my long girl's eyelashes. I raised a hand and patted it lightly, and it felt a lot better than it had before; it was no longer wiry and uneven, but sleek and cleanly cut. I smiled.

"Oh, you look so good!" Tamaki cried, quite suddenly, starting forwards with his arms wide as if to hug me. "You look as cute as a girl! Adorable!" I ducked aside, pushing him away from me. I was _not_ going to hug _him_. Ever.

"Haru-chan, you look so cute!" Honey cried, leaping forwards and hugging tightly around my legs. I wobbled and almost fell backwards with the force with which he ran into me. Kyoya caught me by the shoulder, steadying me.

"If we'd known you looked like that," said one of the twins.

"We might have helped you out sooner," said the other.

"Who knows?" Kyoya smiled, "Maybe you'll draw in some customers?"

"You know, that's just what I was thinking," Tamaki said, and I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Our errand boy is moving up the ranks," What I wouldn't have given to have elbowed him right in the chest. "As of now, you are an official member of the Host Club!" There was scattered applause; enthusiastic from the twins and Honey, halfhearted from Kyoya and Mori. The little black book was out again. "I will personally be your tutor to your life as a Host," Tamaki continued. Great. I was going to have fun with this. "If you can get one hundred customers to ask for your services, we will put aside your eight million yen debt,"

"A Host, for real?" I repeated weakly. Why did this all have to happen to me? Tamaki steered me out of the room, and was followed closely by Kyoya, Honey and Mori. The twins, however, stayed behind.

"Haruhi sure cleans up nicely," Hikaru said to his brother.

"Yeah," Kaoru said. They exchanged looks. "Too nicely,"

"When I took off his glasses earlier," Hikaru continued, sinking down into the chair. "I got a really good look. His eyes seemed so big, and sparkly and strangely innocent. It was really weird. I don't want to say it, but they looked kinda like a girl's,"

"Strange," Kaoru said quietly, frowning. "And when he was changing he got so freaked out over privacy, and being shirtless," His brother nodded, also frowning. "I mean, the rest of us don't even care about that sort of thing. In fact, Tamaki seems to live for it," Hikaru laughed quietly.

"Getting so worked up like that," he said, looking at the curtains. "It's like something only a girl would do… And did you see his chest when we took off his jumper?" Kaoru nodded. "He was just so skinny, and yet also kinda…" Hikaru looked up, connecting eyes with his brother. "You don't think that…" They both frowned at the same time. Two more light bulbs were flashing.

…. ….

The Host Club is open for business. Apparently, I am too.

"So, tell me, Haruhi," I had a group of three girls around me. Ninety seven were still to come. A hundred seemed a long way off. It had been two days, and on the first everyone thought my becoming a Host was a bluff. They didn't actually expect a commoner to join the ranks of their darling Hosts. "Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do?"

"I'm curious," a second girl asked. "What kind of products do you use on your skin?"

"Yes, it's so pretty," the third said. It was my first request, and I already couldn't handle any more. I had no idea what I was supposed to do, but there was no way in hell that I would resort to Tamaki's methods. No coffee mouth to mouth for me.

"So why did you join the Host Club?" the girls asked together, watching me with interest.

"Er…" All I had to do was get a hundred customers to request me, and they'll forget about the eight million I owe in debt. I just had to think of _something_ to keep their attention, something to entertain them. I knew the right story, but I didn't know if I wanted to share it with people I hardly knew. But still…all that debt had to be paid off, somehow…

For the next half hour I didn't even notice as Tamaki watched me from behind the sofa. Much to the amusement of the twins, he had crouched behind it and peered over the top the whole time I was speaking.

"Oh, that's so sad," one of the girls said quietly, when I was finished. "So…you're mother got sick and passed away ten years ago," I nodded. The story had been effective. Too effective. I wanted to cry. I hadn't spoken about mum in front of others for years, and I regretted it now. "So who does the chores around your house?"

"Oh, I do them myself," I replied, "My mother taught me. She was an amazing cook, and when she had to leave for the hospital she left me all kinds of…great recipes…" I felt the colour rise in my cheeks as I thought about her. "It was…fun, to create each dish, especially when they turned out well," The girls were silent, leaning towards me with sad looks in their eyes. Tamaki had raised himself slightly, so that he was no longer hiding. He was watching me with a sad, almost pitying expression. His cheeks were slightly pink too. "It made me happy to see my dad enjoy everything that I made for him. I've had a hard childhood, but…" I flashed a small smile at the girls. "…dad and I have managed to make it through, together,"

The girls sighed sadly, looking from one to the other.

"So, uh, is it okay if we come back tomorrow?" one of them asked in a quiet voice. I was surprised, but smiled all the same.

"Yes, please, I'd appreciate that," I replied, looking at each of them in turn. The girls all rose from their chairs, grouping together to hug me briefly. It felt nice to have been accepted like this, after telling them all about my mother.

"Why is he so popular?" Tamaki breathed, frowning at me. The twins had joined him, sitting on the floor in front of the sofa.

"He's a natural," Kyoya said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"No training needed," the twins said, grinning. "Too bad for you, boss, but he doesn't need your instruction,"

"But I'm just thinking—"

"Have you forgotten about me?" Tamaki looked around. The pretty girl with long brown hair had been sitting next to him the whole time I had been talking. She was sitting primly on the sofa, a cup of tea in her hands.

"Oh, no," he smiled, shooting her a sideways glance. It wasn't effective, as he had told me. "Sorry, Ayanokoji," He straightened up, crossing his legs and smiling at her. "I was merely a little concerned about our newest Host,"

"Well, that's obvious, Tamaki," Ayanokoji replied with a small laugh. "You certainly have been keeping an eye on him,"

"Of course, I have to," Tamaki said, raising his hand above his head. "I'm training him to become a gentleman," He snapped his fingers. "Haruhi!" I looked up, seeing him motioning for me to come over. I got up from my chair, walking over to him and the pretty girl.

"Yes, Senpai?" I asked.

"I'd like you to meet someone," he said, waving a hand towards the girl. "This is my regular guest, the Princess Ayanokoji," Lesson number 1; when you meet a face anew, to bow and smile is what you do. I bowed low to the Princess Ayanokoji. God, what kind of stupid name is that? I smiled at her as I straightened up, to see her with a sour smile on her face.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, miss," NOT! By her look of distaste I could see she was thinking exactly the same thing.

"The pleasure is mine," she said, extending her hand for me to kiss. Presumptuous little rich girl. Who does she think she is? Oh yeah; the Princess Ayanokoji. I took her hand gingerly, bringing it to and from my mouth as quick as I could. I didn't even open my mouth as they touched her fingers, I just pressed them against my thoroughly closed lips. There was no way I was going to kiss someone like her. And there was no way that I was ever going to kiss another girl! Period.

"That was so cute!" Tamaki cried, leaping to his feet and throwing his arms around me. His hug was so tight it all but knocked the breath from my lungs. "Oh, you were so good! Wonderfully good!" I struggled against him, squirming in his arms.

"Hey, let go of me you crazy piece o—"

"Tremendously good!"

"Get off!"

"Oh, you were fantastic!" I broke free of one of his arms, twisting my body to see Mori and Honey sitting at a nearby table.

"Mori-senpai!" I cried. He looked up, seeing me struggling to escape Tamaki's nutcase level of over-enthusiastic praise. "Help me!" Mori got to his feet, his long legs carrying him towards us faster than I would have thought possible. He took me by the arms and pulled me with ease up from Tamaki. My eyes were wide as I stared down at him, and he looked back into my face. Something seemed to snap in his expression, and his eyes widened too. Light bulb number five had been lit. There was silence for a moment, until Mori set me gently down on the ground.

"Mori-senpai…?" Tamaki said quietly, staring up at the tall boy before him. "You really didn't have to go that far," I turned to stare at him, my eyebrows raised. Yes, Tamaki-senpai. Yes, he did. "Come on, now, Haruhi. Let daddy give you a big hug!" Daddy? Who the hell was daddy?

"I've already got a dad, so I don't need you to be another one, okay?" I said flatly, "Besides, I don't think I could stand another one of your hugs," Ayanokoji fixed me with a cold stare, her eyes cold and her cheeks flushed with jealousy. "I think I need some fresh air," I said, walking over towards the window. I moved my bag along the windowsill before I threw it open, feeling the cool Spring breeze wafting in. I looked out over the courtyard below. There was a shallow lily pond with a swan fountain almost directly below, cherry blossom trees along the sides of the courtyard.

"Hey, Haru?" two voices called. I looked round to see the twins waving at me from the other side of the room. "Can you get over here a second?"

"Sure," I said, walking over to them. As I passed Ayanokoji she stood up, straightening the skirt of her dress. I hated the girl's uniform for the academy; pale yellow dresses with puffy sleeves and skirts, and a red neck ribbon always tied in a bow. The girl's uniform was one of the reasons I was glad to dress as a guy. She scowled at me as I passed, but I paid no notice to her. If she wanted to be that way then fine. Who was I to stop her?

"So what's up?" I asked, sitting down next to the twins.

"We just want to know how you do it so easily," they said.

"Do what?" They exchanged looks, raising their eyebrows at me.

"Oh, come on, don't act like an idiot," one of them said.

"Yeah, you've had no training and yet you've already got girls asking to come back," the other said. "No guy that we know has been this popular so fast. Not even The Boss. You just talk to girls like you're one of them," My eyes widened momentarily. "Come on, what's your secret?"

"There isn't a secret," I said. They raised their eyebrows still further. "Oh, come on, don't give me that look. I don't lie, okay? I don't have any secret, I just talk," They were silent for a moment.

"You're sure?" they asked. Perfect synchronization.

"Positive," I replied. They smiled. "You wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?" They looked at their watches at the exact same time.

"Twenty-five past three," they said. "We're due in English in five minutes," I nodded, getting to my feet.

"Thanks," I said, "I'll just get my bag, and meet you there,"

"Sure,"

I smiled, turning away and walking back to the window to retrieve my bag. It wasn't there. I looked up and down the windowsill. Nothing. But I did notice something wrong. The window was closed. I pushed it back open, and looked out. I saw my bag, its contents floating around in the green waters of the lily pond.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me…" I moaned, "My damn wallet's in there," But how did it even happen? I had moved my bag to make sure it didn't fall out. And why was the window closed? I didn't think there were bullies at this school. I guess they're everywhere.

I pushed off from the window, turning and sprinting past the twins as they left the music room. They called after me in surprise, but I was running too fast for them to catch me. I turned the banister at the end of the corridor, leaping down the staircase three steps at a time. When I reached the floor below I was in the long corridor with a whole wall of high windows. I ran past a girl with long brown hair, who was looking out of them, but then I slowed to a halt. Why was Ayanokoji down here?

"Oh, it's you again," she said as she realized who it was. "I bet you just love Tamaki making you over, and fawning over you. It's useless though. You're always going to be his simple assistant," I turned my head to look at her over my shoulder, but she was already walking away down the corridor. What did she mean? Why would I _want_ him to keep treating me the way he did?

I shook my head, turning to continue quickly down the corridor. I soon reached the flight of steps down to the first floor, and ran down them as quick as I could. I headed in the direction of the West courtyard, and burst through the doors at the end. The cool air welcomed me outside after the stuffy music room, and I risked a single contented breath before I started for the lily pond.

I shrugged off my blazer onto the ground beside the pond, rolling up my trousers to my knees. I removed my shoes and socks, stepping into the icy cold water. I gasped in pain as the water prickled my skin like a thousand cold knives, but I didn't have the time to adjust. I was probably already late for English as it was. I picked out my sopping wet bag, dropping it on the back beside my blazer. I collected my books, pencil case and most of my other items. But there was still one thing missing, as I rummaged around in the freezing cold water.

I was starting to think that it was Ayanokoji who had thrown my bag out the window, but I couldn't be bothered with her right now. I had to find my wallet. I could no longer feel my toes or my hands, and my back was aching from being bent so long. I was growing more and more anxious. All my money for food that week was in that wallet, as well as my license and photo of my mother. I would probably cry if I lost that.

"Hey, Haruhi," a voice called from behind me. I turned my head to see Tamaki standing beside my soaked school ware, watching me with confusion and scorn. "You've got some nerve, skipping out on classes like this," I turned away, resuming the search for my wallet. I had no patience for idiots like him. Especially not now. "I saw you playing in the lily pond from the club room, and wondered what you were doing,"

"I'm not playing," I snapped.

"But why is your bag all wet?" he pressed, "You've been doing this for ages. What's wrong?"

"It's fine," I said, feeling around under the water, wishing for my fingers to find leather. "I got it, I just can't find my food money," Tamaki's eyes softened, and then he frowned. I heard quiet splashing, and turned to see him wading into the water towards me, his trousers already soaked to the knee. He bent down next to me, rummaging around through the weed. "Hey, you don't have to do that, you'll get wet,"

"A little water never hurt anyone," he said pleasantly, turning away and feeling around a few feet to the right. "Besides," he laughed quietly. "People are always telling me I'm dripping with good looks," He flashed a smile across at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. He may be a complete nutcase, and an obnoxious, promiscuous little rich kid, but when he was alone he was actually quite nice. "Oh, hang on a second," he said, plunging his arm in so that his blazer was sodden all the way to the shoulder. When he straightened up he was holding out a dripping leather pouch. "This what you're looking for?" he asked with a smile.

I smiled back, weakly I'll admit, but smiling all the same. He seemed like such a different person, when he wasn't surrounded by others who expected things of him. I looked at him, trying to figure out which side was his real one. He walked over, still holding out the wallet. He laughed, waving it in front of my face. I hardly even blinked.

"Ha ha, look at you," he sighed, smiling. "You're staring off into space," Then he looked straight into my face, grinning. "You're not falling for me, are you?" This snapped me back to reality.

"Wha—no way!" I said hotly, snatching the wallet from his hand. He laughed quietly, stepping back a little bit. Then he looked from me to my bag, and then up to the open window of Music Room 3. There was a silhouette of a girl there, and she turned to walk by with a flick of long brown hair.

"How did your bag even end up in the pond, anyway?" he asked, looking back down at me.

"I don't really know," I replied, not entirely truthfully. I didn't want to admit my suspicions of Ayanokoji. "I must've dropped it out the window by accident, I suppose," I looked at Tamaki. He was frowning slightly, as if he wanted to say something but wasn't sure if he should. "So, um…thanks, I guess,"

"Hm? Oh, right, yes," he said quickly, shaking his head and smiling. "You're welcome," He winked at me, wading to the bank and stepping up onto the cobbles. He offered a hand to pull me out, and I took it. I stepped out of the cold water, my feet too numb to feel the stones beneath them.

"Thanks," I said, pulling the blazer over my wet shirt.

"No problem," he replied, taking off his blazer and tucking it under his arm. He was wet nearly all over. "Do you want to borrow some stuff for lessons?" he offered, bending down to inspect my books. "These won't be of much help until they've properly dried out,"

"Could I?" I asked, stuffing my wallet into my pocket. "It wouldn't be too much trouble?"

"I shouldn't think so," he replied, picking up my books and putting them carefully inside my dripping bag. "Can't let you go to class like this, can I?" He smiled, slinging my bag over his shoulder.

"Thank you!" I said, giving him a, very brief, one armed hug. He beamed. "You've been a great help, Tamaki," Crap, did I just call him by his first name? "Er, I-I mean, senpai,"

"No, no, it's okay," he assured me, smiling. "My friends don't need to call me senpai," I smiled feebly. Friends? Glad to know I had at least one in this school, even if he was a nutcase at times. "So, is it okay if I call you Haru, like the twins?" he asked. I looked up at him, my smile a little surer.

"Yeah," I replied. "I guess you can call me that," He winked.

…. ….

Awkward. That's the only word to describe this situation. Ayanokoji was sitting opposite me, sipping daintily from her teacup. When she set it down there was a faint mark of red where her lips had been.

"Really?" she asked, "So you just found your bag in the pond?" I nodded, smiling. No matter how awkward the situation was, I had to follow rule 2; When you aren't sure what to say, just keep smiling anyway. "How terrible that must've been for you," She shot a sideways glance at Tamaki, who was sitting with a group of girls not too far away. She laughed quietly. "I can't even imagine what I'd do if my bag ended up in there," Why did she even request me? She clearly doesn't even like me, and only wants attention from Tamaki. "And you actually _made _Tamaki search that dirty old pond with you? How astonishing,"

God, she was stuck up. What I wouldn't have given to have just punched her in her high-nosed, better-than-you face. But I just kept on smiling.

"You do realize that he's a blue-blood, and not a little commoner boy?" she continued, fixing me with an almost cruel stare. "You have to understand that the only reason he's paying attention to you is because he's trying to turn you into a gentleman," She gave a quick laugh, then raised her eyebrows at me. "As if _that _could ever happen!" Bitch. That was the only word that came to my mind. Good for nothing, worthless, snide, snobbish, rich kid bi—"Don't start getting any ideas that he cares about you, though, because after all, you're only a com—"

"Now I understand," I said, the smile vanishing from my face. "You're jealous of me…" She was silent, staring at me through wide eyes. "…aren't you…_Ayanokoji_?" She said nothing, a cruel smile curling at the corner of her painted lips. Before I could move or even speak, she had darted out and grabbed the front of my blazer. She pulled me violently towards her, knocking over the table and sending all upon it crashing to the floor. She gave a terrible scream as the vase of roses and tea set shattered into pieces on the floorboards, every head in the room turned to stare at us.

The table flipped over, skidding away with an earsplitting screech across the floorboards. I would have clapped my hands over my ears, if Ayanokoji hadn't grabbed them and forced them to her chest. God, nothing in my life so far had been as awkward or terrible as this. I was touching another girl's—

"No, Haruhi-kun!" Ayanokoji cried, sprawled in a heap on the floor with me on top of her. "Leave me alone! What do you think you're doing!? Somebody help!" My eyes were wide, staring at the girl beneath me. Her eyes were wide, teary, but malicious. I heard the scraping of many chairs as the whole room rose to their feet. "He just attacked me!" I heard the sound of two pairs of feet. "Somebody do something, and teach this commoner a lesson!"

"We got it!" came two voices from above us. I looked up to see the twins, each holding a large pitcher of water, which they immediately turned upside down. The freezing water broke over my head and shoulders, trickling down the back of my collar. Ayanokoji screamed as water splashed onto her face, smudging her make up to leave black rings around her wide eyes. I sat up, wrenching my arms from Ayanokoji's grip. She was staring, wide eyed, up at the twins. She was shaking, her sodden hair clinging to her clothes. Seeing my clothes sticking to my skin, particularly around my chest, made the light bulbs glow that much brighter.

"Why did you _do_ that?" she said angrily. A pair of feet stopped beside her, and she looked up to see Tamaki extending a hand to her. She took it, getting tremulously to her feet. The twins took hold of my arms, hoisting me up as well. "Do something, Tamaki!" she whined, wrapping her arm around him and glaring at me. "Haruhi-kun just assaulted me!"

"I'm disappointed in you, Ayanokoji," Tamaki said, peeling her arms from around him and holding her away. He fixed her with a cold stare. "You were the one who threw his bag into the pond, weren't you?"

"You don't know that!" she said quickly, looking from him to me. "Do you have any proof that I did?" Tamaki held the sides of her face, looking at her almost sadly.

"You know," he said, "you're a beautiful girl. If only you were so on the inside," He let go of her, gently pushing her away. "You're no longer welcome to come here. And there is one thing that I do know for certain," He turned his head to me, and beckoned me over. I hastily complied, and he put his hands on my shoulders. "And that is that Haruhi is not that kind of a man,"

"But, why, Tamaki…?" she breathed, stepping back from us.

"Oh, and one more thing," he said coldly, setting me aside and stepping up to her. "Only my friends call me Tamaki. From now on, you'll be lucky to suffice with 'senpai',"

"And you might want to start imagining what you'd do if your bag were to fall into the pond," the twins said. She looked at them, her eyes wide. "Because we took the liberty of starting the experiment," They stood aside, grinning, to reveal the open window. Ayanokoji turned away and starting running towards the door, sobbing. When the door slammed shut behind her Kyoya stepped forwards.

"Of course, we do have to punish you," he said. What? Punishment for having my bag chucked in a pond, and then being framed for a staged assault? "Because this was your fault,"

"Hey, Kyoya," Tamaki said quickly, "You don't have to do this. It was hardly his faul—"

"Whoever's fault it was," Kyoya interrupted, "We've just lost one of our best serving customers, and now we require compensation," He turned to me. I couldn't suppress a gulp. "Haruhi, your quota is now one thousand," My eyes snapped wide.

"One…thousand…?" my voice cracked. "Oh God…"

"Kyoya, that's too harsh," Tamaki interjected.

"Sometimes harsh is what's best," Kyoya replied coldly. "You," he said to me. "Go and get changed. There's still some spare uniforms in the store room,"

"Thanks," I mumbled, pushing past him towards the store room. I pushed open the door, but then somebody caught my arm. I looked round to see Tamaki. "Tamaki-senpai?"

"Sorry about Kyoya," he said quietly. "If I had it my way you wouldn't be punished at all," I smiled, and he returned it. "Just so you know, I've got high hopes for you, my little rookie," He winked, patting me on the back. "Now go get yourself changed, before you catch a cold. I'll just get you some towels; I'll only be a little while,"

"Thanks, Tamaki," I said, walking over to the curtain at the other end of the room. I pulled off my wet blazer, dropping it to the floor. I unbuttoned my shirt, letting it slide off my arms to the floor. I unbuckled the belt around my waist, slipping it out from the straps.

"Haruhi?" a voice called, and there was a knock at the store room door. "I've got the towels for you,"

"I'm through here Tamaki-senpai," I replied, stepping out of my trousers. I heard his footsteps as he came closer. "Thanks," I had expected him to drop the towels on the floor in front of the curtain and leave, but I was wrong. Boys apparently didn't care for one another's privacy. Tamaki pulled open the curtains, and stopped dead as he saw me, standing there in just my underwear.

Fuck.

We were both silent for a moment, Tamaki's cheeks burning scarlet.

"Oh God…" he whispered, not moving. There was a very painful silence, each of us like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

"Get out!" I shouted, snatching up my sodden blazer and throwing it at him. "For the love of God, Tamaki, get out!" He hastily complied. Dropping the towels on the floor he threw the curtains shut and clapped a hand over his eyes, as if it would erase what he had seen. There was a silence between us. An extremely awkward silence, where the only noise was the hasty rustling of clothes as I dressed myself in a mortified rush, and his quick, terrified breaths.

"Haru…hi…?" he called tentatively through the curtain separating us. I had thrown on the dry shirt and trousers, blushing furiously. "You're…a girl?"

"Well noticed," I replied coldly, pulling on my fresh blazer. "Dumbass," I stepped out from behind the curtain, sending him stumbling back from me. Then I softened slightly. "However, if I'm honest, I didn't really care if you guys knew I was a girl or not. I think that it matters more about who a person is, rather than what sex they are,"

"You…do…?" he asked, staring at me with wide blue eyes.

"Yeah," I said, stepping up to him. He took a nervous step away, as if I carried a fatal disease. "But can I just say this, before you freak out and tell the others this shocking news?" He said nothing. "Earlier, and yesterday, I thought you were a pretty cool guy," His eyes widened momentarily, and then his cheeks flushed pink. Then red. Then almost purple. I winked. Something I vowed never to do again. He seemed to be no more than a husk of a person as I pushed past him. He made a noise much like a strangle mouse; a high-pitched, mortified squeak. "And also, to be fussed over by a bunch of girls may not be all that bad,"

I walked almost casually from the store room, sitting down on a sofa. It took some minutes before Tamaki came out, red faced and catatonic. He was steered over to sit opposite me by the twins, and when he looked at me his blush deepened.

"Boss, what's wrong with you?" they asked, sitting down either side of him. He was silent for a long time. Then he looked at me.

"Haruhi's a girl…" he whispered, pointing a shaking finger at me. He raised his hands, the palms facing up. "I saw…he..._she_ had…had…" I raised my eyebrows, and he realized what he was about to say. He clapped the hands to his mouth, his cheeks reddening still further. "Why are you a girl? Y-you just can't be! How is this even possible?" he mumbled through his fingers, the words tumbling out.

"Jeez, Boss," the twins said, leaning back indifferently on the sofa. "It really took you that long to figure it out, huh?" Tamaki's eyes widened, and he turned on them.

"What!?" he cried, "You knew!? Why didn't you tell me!?" The twins exchanged looks, and then grinned.

"It was kind of obvious," they shrugged, pouting their lips innocently. "Her skin is too pure for a guy's, only a girl could be so skinny, she has the innocent little girl's eyes, and," They coughed. "Her, um…obvious assets," I rolled my eyes. Tamaki seemed furious that they discussed such an intimate thing so lightly. The other Hosts were starting to join us now.

"Really, Tama-chan, you couldn't tell?" Honey asked, holding Usa-chan in his arms. Tamaki turned to him in surprise. "Haru-chan's much nicer than all the others I know, and her face is too pretty for a boy," His little cherub's cheeks flushed slightly pink. "And when I saw a picture of her with long hair, I knew that she had to be a girl. All of us did,"

"Wait a minute," I said¸ getting to my feet. "How did you see me with long hair?"

"It was simple enough," the twins said, and I turned to look at them. I saw that one was holding up my open wallet. My license was showing, and I could see my name printed clearly; Haruhi Utsukushi Fujioka. "You really need to find a better place than your bag to hide things, Haru. Anybody could've stolen it," He threw it towards me, and I caught it. "Nice picture, by the way," I scowled. He winked.

"Oh, shut up," I mumbled, shoving my wallet into my back trouser pocket. Unless they wanted to attempt something they'd regret, the twins weren't going to get it back any time soon. Tamaki seemed to have calmed down. A little.

"So you all knew?" he asked quietly. Five heads nodded around him. "Mori-senpai?"

"When I pulled her loose from your 'affections' I got a real look at her face," he replied. "Only a girl could look like that,"

"Kyoya?" Tamaki's voice was even quieter now, cracking slightly.

"Oh, I guess I knew all along," he said, in an almost smug tone of voice. "Since I first heard her speak, in fact. After all, while her voice may be lower than most others of her gender, it's still distinguishably feminine,"

"But why was I the last to know?" Tamaki whispered.

"Because you're an idiot," the twins replied, grinning.

"So why did you not tell me?"

"We just wanted to see your reaction," they grinned even wider. "And it was totally worth it,"


	2. The Job of a High School Host

It was a week after Tamaki had discovered the truth that I was a girl, and things seemed to have glazed over slightly after my shocking revelation.

Birds were twittering outside the window, skipping up and down on their perches in the cherry blossom trees. My pen was clutched in my hand, my tired eyes scanning the page before me; left to right, left to right. The classroom was buzzing with chatter as we neared the end of the class period, but I just wished they would all shut up. I needed to study, and being roped into the Host Club didn't give me much time to do so.

The bell rang, and there was a loud scraping of chairs throughout the room as students got to their feet and picked up their bags. Two pairs of feet stopped beside me.

"Come on, then," the twin's voices cut through my head. "Hurry up and come to the Music Room, already!" I nodded feebly, rolling my shoulders. The twins turned to leave, their bags slung over their arms. The door closed, and I looked up slowly, gazing around the empty classroom. I sighed, slowly closing the books in front of me and wearily reaching around for my bag. It wasn't there. I looked down at the floor beside me. Nothing but the legs of the chair and table next to me.

"Shit…" I breathed, slipping sideways off my chair and fumbling around below my desk. A few crumpled pieces of paper, the odd dropped pencil, but no bag. I sat up, scouting the classroom through worried eyes. I looked at the clock on the wall, and leapt to my feet. I hastily grabbed my books and pencil case, tucking everything under my arm. I turned and started for the door, wrenching it open and hurrying away towards Music Room 3.

I stole a glance at my watch, and broke into a run. I rounded a corner, and barely had enough time to cry out in shock before I barreled straight into another student. My books went flying everywhere, scattering pages and stationary all across the corridor. I groaned, rubbing the back of my head, but then realized I was sprawled on top of a boy with tousled black hair. I scrambled to my feet, clapping a hand to my forehead.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" I said, reaching out a hand to help him up. He took it appreciatively, and I pulled him to his feet. "Are you hurt?" I asked, concerned. He shook his head, dusting off the front of his blazer.

"No, I'm fine," he replied, cricking his neck from side to side. "But I have to say, that was a pretty sudden attack. Why are you in such a hurry?"

"I'm late," I said shortly, bending down and trying to recover my fallen books. "I got abducted by those idiots in the Host Club, and I'll never hear the end of it if I'm late again," He bent down and picked up one of my books.

"Here, let me help," he offered, holding out the book to me.

"Thanks," I said, taking it gratefully.

"So you're the new Host, huh?" he asked, collecting a group of scattered pens. "The honour student, right?" I nodded. "I've heard about you," he smiled, handing me the pens, which I stuffed into my pencil case. "This girl I know is a regular to the Host Club, and she says a lot about you to her friends," I picked up the last book, smiling weakly.

"Does she?" I asked feebly. He grinned, nodding. "So are you one of her friends, then?" Almost at once there was a change in his face, like that of being punched but not receiving the pain of it yet. I noticed that his cheeks were slightly pinker than was usual.

"Um…not exactly…" he mumbled, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his head.

"Oh, sorry," I said quickly. "I-I didn't mean to upset you, or anything," He shook his head, holding up his hands.

"No, no, it's alright," he said. I sighed, shuffling my feet awkwardly. "So…I have to go," he said, starting to walk back from me. "Yeah…" I just stood there, watching after him in slight confusion. He stopped, frowning at me. "Um…weren't you just late for something?" He asked. My eyes snapped wide as his words hit me.

"Oh, crap!" I cried, turning and hurrying away down the corridor. "Thank you!" I called back over my shoulder, and I saw him turn the corner and out of sight. I hurried up the stairs at the end of the corridor, and turned right around so that I was sprinting back across the sleek floor toward the double doors at the end. Music Room 3. I skidded to a halt, bent double before the doors and panting slightly.

I shook my head and straightened up, reaching for the handle and pushing the doors open. I stepped through, expecting to see the Host Club before me with reprimand in mind. I could almost imagine Tamaki sitting on his throne between them, scowling at me in disappointment.

"Guys, listen," I started, "I'm really sorry I'm late, I just lost my ba—what the hell is this!?" The whole room was, well, not even a room anymore. It was more like a tropical jungle. Almost as soon as I opened the door I could feel the warmth radiating from inside like that of a Summer's day. I could have been wrong, but my calendar said it was still early spring. Great ferns and palms, and all manner of exotic flowers sprung from every inch of what was once sleek floorboards, but was now a warm earthy terracotta. There was a buzz in the air like that of a thousand insect chirruping, and the occasional call of what I guessed was a toucan. I took a few steps into the 'room' and closed the door slowly behind me. Almost instantly it was lost amid the foliage of green leaves and vines. "What is all this?" I whispered.

I pushed through the undergrowth, looking around me. I stopped, coming eye to eye with a small green chameleon. I cocked my head to the side, and its two revolving eyes twitched at me. I smiled faintly. It was the first time I had ever seen one, and I thought that it was actually rather cute, what with its curly little tail and smooth green scales. I reached out a hand to touch it, but then its extremely long, extremely sticky, tongue shot from its mouth. I cried out in both shock and disgust as it stuck to my fingertip like glue, and I pulled back instinctively. The chameleon clung on for dear life, dangling from my finger from its foot-long tongue.

I shuddered, and I flicked my hand away from me, sending the small reptile shooting through the air and into the bushes with a small screech. I sucked the air through my teeth, shaking my head quickly. I turned to walk on, hastily wiping my sticky finger on the front of my trousers. I heard excited whispering, and the sounds of quiet hurrying footsteps, and guessed who it was in an instant. I pushed up a large drooping banana plant leaf, and there they were. At the sight of them, my mouth almost dropped open.

"Welcome!" they called, and I stopped dead, simply staring. Can you see this from Heaven, mum? These are the idiots I am forced to hang around with. Each one of them was dressed in elaborately made costumes, much like that of bohemian or tropical royalty. It looked as though each had paid a fortune for them. Honey's shoulders were draped with flowered necklaces, and he trembled with glee as he saw me looking at him. Kyoya and Mori dressed in more earthy colours, but a few bits of gold glinted from their waists or arms. The twins wore the same clothes as one another, long beads and gold dangling from their wrists and necks. They were both holding thatched umbrellas, which they held to shade Tamaki.

He sat between them on a wooden throne, decorated lavishly with tropical flowers. Leaves and golden braids plaited through his golden hair, a fan held lightly in his hand. He was dressed richest of them all, gold and silver glinting at his neck and fingers. His leg was draped nonchalantly over one of the arms of his throne, fanning himself almost lazily. There was a wide, gleaming smile on his face as he looked at me.

"Nice of you to finally show up, Haruhi," the twins said together, grinning. "You're so late," I scowled at them, shaking my head slowly.

"Yeah, we even tried a new way to hurry you up," one twin said, shooting a mischievous glance sideways at the other`.

"Guess it didn't work," he finished. Together they bent down, and my eyes widened as they straightened up. Held between them was my bag, hanging limply from their hands. They grinned at me, delighted to see the fuming pink glowing across my cheeks. "You want it?"

"I hate you," I said through gritted teeth. They laughed, tossing the bag over to me. It landed at my feet, sending up a cloud of dust and dirt that stained my shoes. "Thanks," I muttered, bending down and shoving my books and pencil case back inside it. I made a point of tying the bag very securely to a palm trunk, determined not to let the twins at it again. Only my nimble girl's fingers could unpick the knot. I turned back to the other Hosts, to see Tamaki rising from his throne.

"What's even going on?" I asked him, "I mean, you guys are making me work to pay off an expensive debt, but now you go and waste money like this?" His face fell slightly, and I frowned at him. "Besides, it is Spring. You can't just wait until Easter to leave for a holiday?"

"Ah, but why should we sit still and fear the Spring's cold weather?" he said, the smile returning to his face. He turned and opened his arms as if to welcome the tropical scene around him. "Why should we not simply bring the holiday to us? The girls all love it, and what else is a Host for than to please them?" He turned back to me, his smile almost sheepish. "And our central-heating is the best there is," I rolled my eyes, pushing past him towards Kyoya.

"Do you have a problem with the way we run our club, Haruhi?" he asked, his dark grey eyes scanning a page of his black notebook. I swear that he carried it _everywhere_. He looked up to see me scowling at him, him and his stupid black book. There was a small smile twitching the corners of his thin lips. "Be careful what you say. You do owe us a small fortune in debt…remember?" I remembered all too vividly the priceless china shattering into a thousand precious pieces. I gulped, bowing my head awkwardly.

I was snapped back to reality as Tamaki slung his arm over my shoulder, steering me away from Kyoya. The twin's umbrellas lay discarded on the earthy ground, and I heard muffled laughter from above. They were together in a coconut palm, high above our heads. They caught sight of me watching them, and gave me a mischievous thumbs up, before they pointed at Tamaki. I had a feeling I knew what they were about to do. I couldn't quite stifle a wry smile. I heard delighted giggling, and turned my head to see Honey picking flowers from a group of bushes not too far away, collecting them in his long ornamental skirt.

"And just why should Hosts dress in such bulky clothing as the uniform?" Tamaki sighed, admiring his silk shirt. "Although it may only be Spring, we bring the Summer to life with every passing day. And so we've transformed this place into Nirvana; a bursting tropical paradise, forever in the romantic heats of Summer!" He sighed in contentment. He still hadn't noticed the twin's absence. "The ladies come to admire us, and our bodies," he continued. I moaned quietly in disgust, but Tamaki took it for another meaning entirely. He flashed me a wide, gleaming smile, and bent down over me. His hands lightly held my face, his bright blue eyes fixed on mine. "So who are we to deny them?" he finished, his voice a hushed whisper that would have melted any other girl. I rolled my eyes, pushing him away. Just then, a large furry coconut dropped from above us, falling with a loud _crack_ to the ground, exactly where Tamaki's head had been just a moment before.

He jumped back in shock, looking around in circles. I looked up to see the twins fixing me with scornful looks. They then started fumbling with another coconut, trying to break it loose from its place.

"That's funny," I said dryly, turning back to look at Tamaki, a tiny smile on my face. "Because it feels awfully cold in here to me," He frowned, confused, but then a coconut hit him on the head. He collapsed to the ground in a heap, the twins bursting into guffaws of laughter. Out cold.

…. ….

"What heartlessness," I heard Tamaki say from behind me, his voice cool and almost sorrowful. I rolled my eyes. He was playing the theatrics to the extreme today, keeping every one of the twelve girls surrounding him awestruck by his words. I sighed boredly, wishing I could leave for some peace and quiet. "Even with my lustrous skin shining like brilliant ivory, exposed by my Balinese king outfit…" Sure. Ivory. Doesn't help that you have a massive blue bruise just below that carefully brushed fringe of yours, does it? Tamaki bent towards the nearest girl to him, his face inches from her own. Her cheeks flushed pink as she gazed at him through slightly misted eyes. "I am but a slave before my Goddess. I kneel before you, and swear my loyalty…"

He gently raised her hand to his lips, planting a soft kiss on her fingertips.

"Tamaki…" she whispered, trembling slightly. He smiled, flashing his dazzling white teeth, and pulled away. The girl didn't move, her fingers clasped over the hand he had kissed, her eyes clouding over entirely. The other eleven girls around him swooned and moaned in longing, exchanging jealous glances to one another.

"Oh yes," Tamaki said, turning to face them all. "I almost forgot to tell you lovely ladies. How silly of me!" He gave a hearty laugh, but I knew he hadn't really forgotten at all. I knew for a fact what he was going to say, he had been planning it for long enough. I even had my own part to play in this seemingly recent news. I sighed, turning to lean my back against the trunk of a palm. "This year the Host Club is hosting the annual Springtime Celebration, and I think that you ladies will enjoy it,"

"Ooh, tell us what it is!"

"Please! Please tell us!"

"You can tell us anything, Tamaki!"

"I'm sure I can," he laughed, smiling warmly at them. "So this year, the celebration shall be in the form of…" The girls leaned in closer, waiting with baited breath. Tamaki shot a glance at me over his shoulder, and winked. I sighed, stepping forwards into my designated position. "…a whole school party!" The girls cried out with glee and clapped their hands, while I tried to force a face of interested surprise.

"We're throwing a party?" I asked, trying my best to hide the boredom in my voice. Tamaki turned and looked at me, as though he hadn't realized I was there.

"A party, indeed," he replied cheerfully, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "But this is no ordinary party," He smiled at the girls. "This is going to be a ball! A ball especially for such beautiful girls as yourself," The girls sighed in contentment, and I heard two sets of footsteps behind me. I turned to see the twins, arm in arm, walking towards us.

"We even booked the largest school hall," one of the twins said. I still couldn't be sure which one was which. They stopped just before us, smiling at the girls and me. "It should be just perfect for dancing," Just then the other twin turned to his brother, cupping his hands lightly in his hands. Hikaru's eyes widened in practiced surprise. Oh God. Twincest approaching at twelve o'clock.

"But what I really want is to spend some alone time with you, Hikaru…" he whispered, just loud enough that the girls could all hear him. His brother's cheeks flushed pink, the same way they always did when they did this. I knew their trick by now; to hold their breath, discretely, until their faces reddened. Then his eyes softened, and he gazed back into Kaoru's.

"Don't be upset, Kaoru…I know exactly how you feel…" he breathed, his hand clasping around Kaoru's on his cheek. The desired effect came through. As the twins continued to look into the other's eyes, the girls squealed with delight, giggling madly to one another. Once again the forbidden love between two brothers had pleased their audience. The twins pulled away, looking around in surprise, almost as if they had forgotten they were not alone. Their cheeks flushed pink, and I saw them grasp one another's hand almost nervously.

"Oh dear, Hikaru…" Kaoru said, looking at all the girls. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you," Hikaru shook his head.

"It's alright," he replied, turning to look at his brother, a shy smile on his face. "For you, I could forgive anything…" At this the girls almost fainted. Tamaki seemed to feel left out, and so walked away towards another group of girls by Honey and Mori. Kyoya appeared, from almost nowhere, and observed the twins engaging the girls in conversation about the ball.

"Is it just me," I said, turning from the twins to Kyoya, "Or are all the girls really worked up lately?" Kyoya fished his black book from his pocket, flipping to a clean page. He clicked a pen and started to write.

"Showing a little skin proves popular with the ladies," he said coolly, not looking up. I turned my head to look at each of the Host Club in turn. All, save Tamaki, were bare-chested, their arms and legs loosely covered by silken fabric or bands of gold and silver. Despite being a girl I didn't see what all the fuss was about. So what, the guys aren't wearing shirts. You get that at the beach all the time. So why now were all the girls so excited? I turned back to Kyoya, to see him underline an unseen passage.

"So are you the one you came up with this 'tropical paradise' idea?" I asked, trying to see what he was writing, without seeming too obvious. He snapped the book shut, pushing his glasses up his nose. He folded his arms, and looked out around at the other Hosts.

"I possess no decision-making authority," he said simply, cocking his head towards Tamaki. "All choices and plans are set forth by the Host Club King; Tamaki," A small smile came to his face, and he rubbed absentmindedly at his arm. "But I guess there's no harm in admitting that I casually slipped that Bali photobook onto his desk…" He flicked open his book again, but this time I didn't try to see what he was writing. So he was the brains behind this operation.

I shrugged, stuffing my hands in my pockets and walking towards Honey and Mori. It seemed that Tamaki had moped off somewhere else, with most of the girls there had been for the other two. A few others had joined, and hadn't seen them yet.

"Tadaa!" Honey cried, throwing his arms wide as he saw the new girls.

"Aw, you're so cute!"

"I love your flowers!"

"Ha ha, thanks," he said, looking down at the necklace draping over his bare chest. "I like them too. They're Bolognaise!" At this the girls giggled to one another.

"Balinese," Mori corrected, smiling faintly. Honey laughed.

"Takashi!" he cried, reaching down and picking up another necklace of the exotic flowers. He jumped up, literally crawling up Mori' side like a monkey, until he was perched on his shoulders. He giggled, slinging the flowers around his neck. "There!" he said happily, hugging tightly to Mori' head. "We match!" The girls cooed at Honey, wringing their hands in the air before them. I watched them for a while, still thoroughly confused about the way those two worked. It was still so hard to believe that Honey was seventeen years old.

"Um, Haruhi?" a voice came from behind me. I turned to see a group of about five girls standing there, almost expectantly. "Aren't you going to wear a tropical outfit like the other boys?"

"Yeah," another giggled. "I'd like to see that," The girls giggled at one another, and I knew they were thinking of me as a shirtless boy. I resisted the urge to retch.

"Uh, no," I said, rather too quickly. The girls fell silent, as if I had shouted at them. "I-I mean…I just don't think it's appropriate, wearing anything but Spring attire in Spring, y'know?" Tamaki appeared at my shoulder, grinning. I turned round, startled, to see him flanked by the twins.

"But we have one ready for you, right here," he said, a determined glint in his eye. He stepped aside, and I saw that the twins were holding up a silken dress, almost exactly the same to the type Tamaki was wearing. "You and I shall be the King and Queen of Bali!" The twins exchanged looks, and thrust the dress forwards. I knew that they, and probably every other Host, wanted to see me in a dress. I wasn't about to give them the satisfaction. No way.

"No thanks," I said coldly, turning away back to the girls before me. Tamaki looked as though I had hit him, and the twin's faces fell. They rolled their eyes and shrugged, turning to walk away. Eventually I heard Tamaki shuffling away, and smiled triumphantly.

"Wow, Haruhi," one of the girls said. "You're so bold!" I was surprised, taken aback even.

"Oh, um…"

"Yeah, and I think it's actually quite sweet the way that you dress by the seasons," a second girl said.

"It's so great!" cried a third. "I hope the cherry blossoms are in full bloom, on the night of the ball!"

"The two of us dancing among the cherry blossoms…" a fourth sighed, her glazed eyes betraying her to be whisked away among the stars. I had a feeling that if I shook my hand in front of her face she wouldn't even blink. I didn't test it. "It would be so dreamy…" The others seemed to sink into the same dream-like state, no doubt lost in the thought of dresses and boys and dancing.

"You really think so?" I asked. I had never really seen eye to eye with another girl before. My idea of romance seemed to be rather different to those here. But I had to admit there was a certain cuteness about it. There was nothing wrong with a girl wishing for a dance under the cherry blossoms with a boy. Actually, now that I thought about it, it probably wouldn't be as mushy as I had first imagined. It might even be nice. "You know, girls," I said, smiling faintly. They all seemed to snap back to reality, looking at me expectantly. "I think it's kind of sweet the way you dream, like that,"

The girls sighed happily, holding their hands over their mouths to hide their delighted smiles. I winked at them. Wait, what? I _winked_ at them? Oh God, I better not start behaving like Tamaki any more. I sucked the air through my teeth, taking a step back. I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, and turned my head to see a pretty girl with short brown hair behind me.

"Excuse me," she said. Her voice was soft and warm, like honey. There was a smile on her face that looked almost permanent, which made her hazel eyes seem bright and happy. "I believe that it's time for the Hosts to switch clients," For a moment I simply stared at her, but then realized what she had said. She giggled as I pulled away, hastily turning to face her.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, "You must be my next appointment, Miss…" But then it dawned on me that I'd never been with this girl before. I had seen her, certainly, but the last time she had been with Tamaki. Or was it Kyoya? Perhaps the twins, or even Honey? I couldn't be sure. She laughed again at my uncertainty.

"My name's Kanako," she said, "Kanako Kasugazaki,"

"Kanako," I repeated, and she smiled, bowing her head. "I'll be sure to remember that, for you," Kanako Kasugazaki. How the hell was I supposed to remember a name like that? But the next thing I knew she was leaning towards me, her finger tracing the side of my face.

"You're even cuter at a close distance," she said quietly, looking deep into my eyes. "I've seen you, but only from the range of the other Hosts. But from now on," She smiled, her face almost darkening as she leaned closer to whisper in my ear; "I've decided that you'll be my new favourite…"

Although I couldn't see him, Tamaki was peering out at us from behind a coconut tree. His eyes narrowed almost angrily as he saw Kanako all but pressed up against me. There was a quiet rustling above him, as the twins steadied themselves at the top, holding between them the biggest coconut they could find. They grinned at one another, before letting go, sending it falling directly down towards Tamaki Suoh's golden head.

…. ….

Tamaki was moping in the corner again, noiselessly slurping Pot Noodles as he glared out the window. He was very fond of them by now, fascinated by the ways in which peasants could have a meal in a single pot. Myself and the other Hosts were crowded around a table, Kyoya briskly typing away at a compact black laptop. The twins looked back over their shoulder at him, seeing that he still hadn't moved.

"Hey, Boss!" they called. He didn't look up. "Quit moping around and eating that peasant food! We need help planning this party!" Tamaki said nothing, shuffling around so that his back faced us. The twins exchanged looks and then sighed. "We're sorry for dropping a coconut on your head," they chorused boredly. Tamaki feebly raised a hand and felt the large bump beneath his thick blonde hair. "So will you get over here already?"

"It's not the coconut…" Tamaki mumbled through a mouthful of noodles.

"It isn't?" one of the twins asked. Tamaki sulkily shook his head.

"Thank goodness for that," the other said, grinning. "Because we weren't sorry at all," Tamaki shot an angry scowl back at them over his shoulder. "But I think I know what it is," he continued.

"Yeah," the first twin said, "It's because little Princess Kasugazaki has a crush on Haruhi, isn't it?" He grinned at me, and I raised my eyebrows. Tamaki said nothing, the meaning behind his silence obvious. We had hit the target right in the bullseye. "Still," his grin widened. "A bit of girl on girl action never hurt anyone," I gasped in disgust, slapping him harshly across the cheek. He reeled backwards and fell into his brother, who caught him just before he hit the floor. They stared at me in shocked silence, their dark green eyes wide. Then both of them started roaring with laughter. I folded my arms moodily, leaning back in my chair.

Tamaki had leapt to his feet, the pot of noodles knocked to the floor. He hurried over to the twins, and grabbed the one I had slapped by the front of his blazer. He pulled him upwards, seething with anger.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" he shouted, throwing him backwards. "You don't just say things like that! Learn to mind your manners, before I knock them into you!" The twin scrambled back, stumbling into his brother. They both fell back down to the floor, where they lay in a sprawled heap. Tamaki turned to me, visibly softening. "You okay?" he asked. "He didn't upset you, or anything?" I shook my head, amazed that he had just snapped like that. He was always so cheery and bright.

"I'm not surprised that Kanako likes Haruhi," Kyoya said, still typing away at his laptop. He hadn't even looked up in the heat of things. He had simply typed through it. "She does this a lot, doesn't she? She's had the illness for a while now,"

"What illness?" I asked. "Is she okay?" The twin with the now red cheek laughed from the floor, and I turned to look at him, a little angry at his insensitivity.

"It's called the Host-Hopping disease," he said, getting to his feet and dusting off his blazer. He helped his brother get to his feet too.

"A.k.a the never-the-same-Host-twice disease," he said.

"Usually our customers choose a favourite Host, and then see them frequently," Kyoya explained, and I looked at him. "However, Miss Kasugazaki seems to change her favourites. On a regular basis,"

"That's right," Honey piped up, and I turned to look at him instead. "Because before she switched to you she was with Tama-chan," Now I remembered. She was the mouth-to-mouth coffee girl.

"Oh," I said, looking over at Tamaki. "So, now I get it. You're upset that I took her from you?"

"Shut up!" he shouted, and suddenly his face was a few inches from my own. Honey cried out in fright that he shouted at me, and started crying. "I couldn't care less! But, now, I'm running out of patience!" He pulled back from me, pointing the Finger of Reprimand straight at my face. "Haruhi, it's time you started dressing like a girl!" I raised my eyebrows at him, and he seemed to crumble almost instantly from his rage. "I just don't understand how you can be so popular with the ladies, when you yourself are a lady!" I sighed, rolling my eyes and leaning back in my chair. "No-one in the entire school knows except those of us here!"

"Yeah, she even dropped out of gym classes," the twins said together. Tamaki hurried away to the store room, and returned almost instantly with a large square frame. I frowned in confusion, sitting up a little straighter to see what it was. It was obvious that it was a picture of some kind, but of what I couldn't tell.

"Now you listen to your daddy!" he cried, hurrying forwards and flipping over the large frame. What I saw made my eyes bulge with both shock and anger. I was staring back at myself, the image from my license, the long hair falling below the picture's edge. "Daddy wants you to go back to the way you were!" For a moment there was silence, as I shook with rage. But then I exploded.

"How dare you make large copies of my picture without asking for it first!" I shouted, pushing the portrait away from me with distaste and glaring at Tamaki. "How did you even get hold of my license in the first place, you little thief!?" I glared at the twins again, and they couldn't help but laugh. Tamaki was being punished for their crime, and they were enjoying it. I turned back to Tamaki, who was cringing under my anger. "And stop calling yourself 'daddy'! I have my own, and he's three times the father you'll ever be to me!" I got angrily to my feet, my chair scraping back loudly against the floorboards. I pushed past him, making sure to stamp down hard on his foot as I walked. I slumped down onto a sofa at the far end of the room, scowling at them.

"The more I look at this picture," the twin I had slapped said, looking up and down the enlarged portrait. "I can't help wondering—"

"How did this," the other continued, poking a finger at the picture. "Become _that_?" I knew what he was thinking, what they all were; how I had looked on the first day I met them, with my hair tousled and messy and my thick glasses pushed to the top of my nose.

"On the day before school started some kid in my neighborhood got some gum in my hair," I said broodingly from the sofa. They all looked round at me, surprised that I was speaking at them. Tamaki had slumped into my chair, and was gingerly rubbing his foot. I ran a hand through my cropped hair, feeling the short, curly tips. "It's a real pain to get gum out of long hair, so I decided to cut it all off. I don't really care if I look like a dude, y'know?" Tamaki shot me a look that told me if he was closer he might throttle me.

"A girl should never refer to herself as a dude!" he shouted, jumping to his feet and starting towards me. Fearing for my throat, I raised my fists and leapt up to meet him. He knew already that I wasn't going to lay down quietly, so turned back helplessly to Kyoya. "Mama!" he cried, his voice almost a whine like a toddler's. He sank to the floor in despair, beating his fists on the floor like a spoilt child. "Haruhi's using those nasty boy words again!" Kyoya sighed, pushing down the lid of his laptop.

"I'm sorry, but who is 'Mama'?" the twins whispered to one another.

"Based on club position it's me," Kyoya said coolly. "Tamaki is the dullwit father, I am the commanding mother, you two the mischievous sons, Honey and Mori-senpai the close cousins. And now we have Haruhi as our rebellious daughter," he mused, smiling faintly.

"God, that's messed up," the twin with a red cheek said.

"Yeah, who the hell thought _that _up?" the other twin asked.

"See if you can guess," Kyoya replied quietly, nodding his head in our direction. The twins knew in an instant, but I had to admit it was pretty obvious.

"Look, I have no idea what you're freaking out about," I said to Tamaki, who turned his head to look at me. "Working as a Host I can pay off my debt to you guys. It'll never happen if I'm just a girl,"

"Hate to interrupt, and change the subject," the twins said, but it was clear that they really didn't care. "But do you have formal dancing experience, Haruhi?" I raised my eyebrows, as if to say 'Do I _look_ like I've had formal dancing experience?' They grinned. "Because you'll need it at the party," My face fell, my eyes wide.

"No," I admitted, my voice cracking slightly. "But the party doesn't have anything to do with my quota, right? I don't have to dance. I'm not even interested in going to some fancy party. May I be excused?" Tamaki's eyes seemed to sear through me like lasers. But then a wry smile tweaked at his lips, as he got to his feet.

"Definitely not," he said, returning to his usual voice of calm and elegance. "A refined gentleman must, of course, know how to dance," He shot me a look that seemed to spark electricity between us. "If you want to live the life of a Host, that badly, you're going to have to show us how far you're willing to go!" My shoulders drooped, and I quite simply stared at him. Resentment was coursing through me. He was about to say something he would regret. I could probably land a punch and run away before any of them caught me. I curled my right hand into a fist. Just in case.

There was a glint in Tamaki's blue eyes, the smile on his lips almost cruel. He was about to challenge me something he was sure I would turn down.

"I order you to master learning the waltz in one week," he announced, "And you will demonstrate it at the party," Then his eyes flashed. I readied my fist, prepared for the words he would so quickly regret. "Or I will tell the entire school that you are a girl!" I narrowed my eyes, furious. But then, to his great surprise, I smiled.

"I accept," I said, holding out my hand for him to take. Before he could even touch me, however, I pulled back my arm and whacked him in the spot right between the eyes. The twins howled with laughter as he fell back in shock to the floor. I ran past towards the door, slapping hands with both the twins as I passed through them.

…. ….

"Come on now," Kanako encouraged me. Tamaki, once again moping in the corner window seat, was scowling at the two of us. He was holding a pack of ice over his right eye, hunched over with his knees pressed into his chest like a child that had just been scolded. I was staring at my feet, trying to get the steps right. The waltz was more complicated than it seemed. "Remember what I told you? Quick, quick, slow," I tried to comply, doing my best not to seem exasperated. It was also quite difficult to concentrate when you have a girl practically pressed up against you and gazing into your face.

"Good work Haruhi," she giggled, as I managed to string together eight steps without faltering. "Now, on the slow you need to move your feet together a little more," Oh God, more instructions. Couldn't I just dance how I wanted to? "A gentleman always leads, and make sure you're always looking at the lady you're dancing with," I looked up quickly, and saw her eyes almost instantly fix my own. Almost immediately I lost track of where my legs were, somehow getting them tangled around one of hers.

I toppled forwards, knocking Kanako to the floor. I landed on top of her, my face inches from hers. Any closer and I would probably have made connection with her mouth. I stared, wide eyed, at her face. She was surprisingly calm, considering that she had just hit her head on the hard floorboards. She seemed to almost be enjoying it.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Kanako!" I spluttered, but she simply smiled. I started pulling away, but then out the corner of my eye I could see her raising her arms, and then I felt them wrap around me. Oh God, oh God, oh God. What's she _doing_!?

"It's alright, Haruhi," she said quietly. I saw her leaning her head towards me, and hastily pulled away. I scrambled to my feet, offering my hand to her.

"C-can I help you up?" I asked quickly. She seemed to pout moodily for a second, but then took my hand and allowed me to pull her to her feet. The twins turned away from watching us, looking instead at Tamaki, who was now trying his best to glare out of the bright window. The ice pack had fallen to the floor, and he had crossed his arms moodily around his legs.

"Why so gloomy, Boss?" one of the twins asked.

"Ha, I bet it's because he wanted to be the one who taught Haruhi how to dance," the other said, grinning slightly.

"I think you may be right," the first said, grinning as well. "But he's too tall to stand in as a woman," They walked off together, laughing, and Tamaki turned his head to see me leading Kanako towards a table. She was limping slightly, her ankle twisted from the fall. I sat her down in one of the chairs, standing awkwardly beside her.

"Again, I'm so sorry," I said, but she just shook her head.

"No, no, it wasn't your fault," she replied, "All boys are rather clumsy when first learning. But I have to say, you're better than most others. You're actually quiet light-footed, delicate even. If I didn't know any better I'd say you danced rather like a girl," She giggled, and my eyes widened slightly.

"If you're sure that it's okay…" I said weakly, and she nodded, smiling. "Then…thank you so much for allowing me to practice with you, Miss Kanako. I really appreciate it,"

"Oh, no problem," she said sweetly. "I heard that you weren't seeing any customers today, so that you could practice dancing," She leaned towards me, smiling shyly. "I'm glad I got to spend this time, alone, with you," I coughed, a little embarrassed. She laughed openly, and looked away from me to the table. It seemed ordinary enough; the usual vase of roses, and an ornate looking tea set. It was different to the usual, jade green with a golden rim at the top. Her eyes seemed to light up as she saw it.

"Oh my!" she said, reaching for a teacup. "This is a new tea set, isn't it?" She raised it to her eyes, examining it. After a moment she seemed to glow with happiness. "It's Ginniore,"

"Ginniore?" I repeated, confused. Tea sets had special names, now?

"You have a keen eye, mademoiselle," Kyoya appeared from nowhere, standing directly behind me. "In fact, we just received them yesterday," Kanako was gazing at the teacup in her hands, almost admiring it. All I saw was a green teacup. She must have seen the greatest work of art this century. Maybe she was delusional as well as infected with Host-Hopping? "The Host Club decided it was time to upgrade our tea sets,"

"I see," Kanako said, her hazel eyes slightly misted. "What a gorgeous colour," Tamaki looked over at us, frowning slightly. "Lovely…"

"You must really be into tableware, huh?" I asked. The effect was so quick I didn't even know if she was angry or sad. She all but dropped the teacup onto the table, holding it there with shaking hands. Her cheeks had flushed red, and her eyes were wide as she stared at me.

"Not really," she said quickly, "I-I mean, no of course I'm not! Wha-whatever would give you that idea?" She laughed nervously, and I fixed her with a quizzical stare. She obvious knows a lot about it, so why should she lie? I didn't say anything, seeing her finger uneasily twitching around the teacup. The door opened, and I looked round.

"Hello?" called a voice from the doorway. "Here are the cups you ordered," Kanako's eyes seemed to widen even further, and her shoulders stiffened as she gave a quiet gasp of shock.

"Ah," Kyoya said pleasantly, walking over to the boy with black hair. It was the boy I had run into yesterday, and I flashed him a feeble smile. "Good. Thank you," Kyoya took in the large box in the boy's hand, smiling. "Every item you have chosen for us has proved very popular with the ladies. I'm quite impressed,"

"Well, that's good to hear," the boy said. I realized what must be in the box, and walked over to the boy and Kyoya. Kanako didn't even blink.

"So, do you sell tea sets?" I asked.

"No, I'm just a regular student," he replied, "My uncle is the one who sells them, I just supply to our faithful customers," He offered the box to me, and I took it. It was very heavy, filled with delicate china and gold. Kanako gave a timid laugh.

"Oh, Haruhi," her voice was shaking slightly. "You're so funny," The boy seemed to realize for the first time that she was in here. "I can't blame you for not knowing," Kanako got to her feet, smiling faintly. "After all, he doesn't look like he's married to a first class company," The boy was staring at Kanako, not rudely or angrily, but in a soft way. A besotted way.

"First class company?" I repeated.

"His family's business deals primarily in the manufacture of unique and beautiful tableware," Kyoya explained. I looked from Kanako to the boy. Each was silent, staring, gazing, fixedly at the other. The boy's eyes were filled with almost longing, but Kanako's were sad and a little afraid. "They currently have the top market share in the country," Kanako looked away, staring fixedly at her feet.

"Wow," I said, looking at the heavy box in my hands. I prayed to God that I didn't drop it like the vase.

"So whenever they create anything exceptional," Kyoya continued, "We ask Tohru, here, to supply," The boy, Tohru, tore his eyes away from Kanako, instead gazing sadly at the box in my hands. I looked up at him, seeing the pained look on his face. "He has a fine eye for great china. Don't you, Tohru?" Tohru shook his head quickly, looking back up to Kyoya.

"You think?" he asked, smiling feebly. "I've still got a lot to learn," His gaze flicked back to Kanako, who was sitting back at the table and staring at the floor. I looked to her, my brows slightly furrowed. "But, thank you all the same,"

"I heard that you're hoping to study abroad, in America," Kyoya said, and I saw Kanako's shoulders droop slightly.

"Yes, I am," Tohru said, closing his eyes and turning away from Kanako. "But, um…I-I better go now," Kanako turned her head and looked at him sadly over her shoulder. When the door closed behind him she turned back. She was staring at the Ginniore teacup before her, and didn't even notice Tamaki before he was right beside her, with his hand on the table.

"So, are you enjoying the Host Club?" he asked, leaning slightly toward her. I walked back over to the two of them, fixing Kanako with an inquiring look.

"I get the feeling you and Tohru are kind of close," I said. Her eyes widened, and she jumped up from her seat.

"Don't be ridiculous!" she cried, laughing nervously. Her eyes were flicking all around the room. "We…we hardly know each other! What makes you say that, Haruhi?" Without even waiting for an answer she started walking briskly towards the door, her hands shaking as they clasped together in front of her. "Now, if you'll please excuse me," She pulled open the door, and waved quickly back. "Take care!"

I turned back to look at Tamaki, frowning. His eyebrows were so high up his forehead I could barely see them behind his fringe.

"What?" I asked angrily. "I didn't do anything!"

"Haru-chan!" Honey cried, appearing from almost nowhere and leaping on my back. I was so surprised I almost dropped the box of china. Honey wrapped his arms and legs around me, giggling in my ear. "What? They do know each other. To-chan is Kana-chan fiancé!" I turned my head to look at him, taken aback. Tamaki seemed just as surprised as me.

"Kyoya," he said. Kyoya turned to look at him. "How long have you known about this?"

"About the two of them being engaged?" he asked coolly, pulling his black book from his pocket, flicking to a page with much writing and underlines. "Well, as you know, I conduct general searches on all our customers," He started to read from a passage with many underlines. "The two of them were childhood friends, blah blah blah, very close families, blah blah, it seems their engagement was arranged by their parents some time ago," He snapped his book shut, turning to face us. "It didn't seem that the information would benefit us, so I disregarded it,"

"I see," Tamaki said, folding his arms and tapping his chin with a finger.

"Tohru Suzushima," Kyoya said, "Outstanding grades, high social status. He's ordinary looking, but he's reliable, if I had to fault him for anything,"

"He doesn't have much confidence," one twin said.

"And he's tardy," the other said,

"So in other words," Kyoya continued. "He's boring," I frowned at all three of them, angered by their words. I had no idea they were so merciless to other guys.

"To-chan is a good boy," Honey said, hopping down from my back, and climbing onto Mori' shoulders instead. "He helped me find Bun-Bun one time when I thought I lost him, right?"

"Yeah," Mori agreed. "He's a nice kid, just can't speak out for himself,"

"Alright everyone," Tamaki said, stepping towards the center of the room. "We'll have to work on our strategy," I set down the box on the table, leaning against the chair backing.

"Which one?" I asked boredly. The twins laughed. Tamaki turned to look at me, an exited gleam in his eye. He seemed to have a new found flare when he next spoke.

"Men, it is our responsibility, as members of the elite Ouran Academy Host Club, to make every girl happy!"

…. ….

"I'm so glad you could all make it here tonight, my little flowers," Tamaki announced, surveying the crowd of girls before him. All wore their finest dresses, expensive jewellery glittering at their necks and ears. Myself and the other Hosts stood at the top of the darkened West Hall staircase, waiting for him to announce the start of the ball. "I bid you…" A bright spotlight illuminated him, shining off his pure white suit. "…welcome!" He bowed low, and I did the same. As did every other host.

The girls screamed with delight, as the chandeliers above our heads lit up, lighting the lavishly decorated ballroom. Almost immediately music started playing, an orchestra stationed on the second floor balcony. Loud applause rippled through the hall, and the boys of the school entered from the staircases beside ours. We straightened up, surveying the crowd. On Tamaki's right Kyoya raised his arms in welcome, and the girls fixed their eyes on him.

"As always, ladies," he called, "The Host Club are here for your entertainment, so we invite you to dance to your heart's content. In the meantime, there are many other boys who may wish for a dance!" He turned to Tamaki, who smiled, flashing his dazzling white teeth. "And, based on your dancing skills, at the end of the night one of you will be decided as the Spring Celebration's Queen," At this the girls broke into whispers, giggling to one another. "And this year, the Queen's reward will be a passionate kiss on the cheek from our Host Club King,"

Tamaki stepped forward, waving at them all.

"I wish you luck, my darlings!" he said, flashing them at wink. The girls almost fainted with delight, screaming and wringing their hands. I rolled my eyes. This was going to be the least fun night of my life. The twins appeared on either side of me, placing a hand on my shoulders.

"Haruhi," they said, "Show some enthusiasm,"

"Well, excuse me, you guys," I said coldly, straightening the tie around my neck. "I'm not used to this sort of thing. I've only ever gone to the festivals at my neighborhood park,"

"I don't know if you could consider that a party," Kyoya said. I scowled at him. "Well, since you're already here, you might as well get something to eat. We've got quite a spread," At this I softened slightly. Any food that people as rich as this could bring would surely be wonderful.

"A spread?" I repeated, "How do you mean? With posh-tot things like…like, oh, I don't know…fancy tuna?" The twins burst into laughter, almost throwing themselves on me. They were hugging me like an innocent little sister, cooing over me as if I didn't understand their fancy foods.

"Fancy tuna?" Tamaki cried, turning to me. "I-is that what you want? Fancy tuna?" Before I could ever speak, he turned to Kyoya. "Mother, bring some fancy tuna over here as quickly as possible!" So he was still going with the estranged family quirk. Kyoya clicked his fingers to a passing waiter.

"Some deluxe sushi," he said, "Immediately, if you please," the waiter bowed, hurrying away to fetch me my 'fancy tuna'. The twins even had fake tears in their eyes now. Damn these stuck-up rich jerks.

"Get off me," I said, throwing them off before they could even speak. I walked away from them, where I didn't even know. Eventually they all left, and I could see them dancing with many different girls, even Honey. I was leaning on a pillar, trying my best to look vaguely interested in the festivities. I had to say that I didn't care much for dancing.

"Hello, Haruhi," a voice came from the top of the stairs. I turned my head, and saw Kanako standing there, looking positively gorgeous in a sky blue dress with a white rose in her hair. "I've been looking all over for you," She walked up to me, smiling shyly. "Do you think that…maybe you and I could share the next dance together?"

"Er…yeah," I replied, offering her my hand. "Of course you can," We walked together down the stairs, and she smiled happily as we reached the bottom. Honey broke apart from the girl he was dancing with, and hurried over to Tamaki. He tugged on the bottom of his tails, and Tamaki looked round.

"Tama-chan! Tama-chan!" Honey whispered, giggling. Tamaki bent his head down to Honey. "She's here! Kana-chan's going to dance with Haru-chan!" Tamaki's eyes seemed to steel over. He bowed to the girl he had been dancing with, and took Honey's hand and led him toward the twins.

"Alright," he said, "It's time to commence with our operation,"

"We're on it," the twins replied, breaking apart from the girls without so much as a backwards glance. They rushed across the ballroom towards myself and Kanako, grabbing me by either arm. They pulled me away from her, dragging me across the floor to a classroom at the opposite end of the hall. Kanako turned slowly to see us disappearing through a crowd of students, her eyes wide with surprise. Her mouth was slightly open.

"Wha…what…" she whispered, her eye twitching. "…was that?" Tamaki appeared beside her, smiling. The twins threw open the doors to the classroom, and all but threw me to the floor. They slammed the doors shut, and I saw that Kyoya, Honey and Mori were standing before me in front of a tall set of curtains.

"We got her," the twins said, panting slightly. "Do whatever you want,"

"Christ, you didn't have to be so forceful," I muttered picking myself up from the floor and dusting myself off. Kyoya pointed to two packages on a desk beside the twins, and they picked one up each. I turned to see what they were, but the twins were already behind me.

"Never mind that, go get changed," they said firmly, thrusting the two packages into my chest.

"What are—aargh!" They pushed me back, and I fell through a gap in the curtains. I was in a small dressing area, with a mirror and vanity table. I frowned, dropping one of the packages onto the vanity. I pulled open the wrapping on the one I still held, and I cried out in disgust as a mass of long curly brown hair fell out to the floor. I thought it was some sort of dead animal, but then I realized it was a wig. I picked it up, letting it dangle from my fingers.

I hastily dropped it on the vanity, picking up the second package. When I ripped it open there was a quiet rustling as the corners of a pale pink dress fluttered down from the brown paper. I picked it up with one hand, letting the fabric fall to its designed shape. Even I had to admit it was lovely. Strapless, to my distaste, but soft and light, with a long ruffled skirt and white bow around the waist. Outside I heard Kyoya's voice.

"An accident towards the end of the night would be thrilling," I rolled my eyes, dropping the dress onto the vanity and pulling off my jacket and tie. "But remember, Haruhi, there's only forty minutes left until the Queen of the Celebrations is announced," I pulled off my shirt and trousers, hastily slipping the dress up my legs and chest in case any of them decided to check how I was doing. I quickly pulled up the zip at the back, picking the wig up from the vanity. I positioned it on my head, feeling quite how heavy it was. The synthetic hair fell to my waist, the fringe pulled to the right exactly how mine used to be. "Tohru is already waiting for you in English Room 7, down the East Hall corridor,"

"Waiting for me?" I asked, pulling open the curtains and staring at him. "What did you say to make him do that? 'Hey, Tohru, just sit tight in the English Room while everybody else has fun at the party. Haruhi's going to show up in drag, just for your entertainment!' Real smart plan, Kyoya," The twins burst into laughter, and Honey giggled.

"Not exactly," Honey said, taking my hand and leading me over to a chair. I saw that the whole desk next to me was covered with make up kit. I didn't even want to _know_ where they found it. "But it doesn't matter, Haru-chan. You've just got to ask him how he feels, okay?"

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that?" I snapped, watching the twins as they came over with grins on their faces. "He's hardly going to tell me anything. We aren't even friends, for God's sake!"

"We came up with a way, don't you worry," the twins said, flashing each other a delighted look.

"What did you do?" I asked suspiciously, seeing one of them pick up a tube of lipstick. I eyed it with distaste

"You'll find out soon enough," he said, twisting it so that the red end twirled up to the top. "Now pout,"

"Like I'm going to let you near me with that," I said, pushing him away. "Make me," He turned to his brother, who shrugged. He grabbed the sides of my face, squeezing my lips until I felt sure I looked like a demented fish. I tried to push him away, but the other twin grabbed my hands. "Come on, Haruhi, it'd look fine if you'd just stop moving!" I felt the lipstick make contact with my mouth, and knew that it was too late. I groaned, resigning myself to a make over by the Hitachin twins. I had to say I wouldn't have expected my first to be done by a pair of rich-kid teenage boys.

When they were done with my lips, I was tempted to wipe my mouth and be clean of this horrible-tasting muck.

"Don't even think about it," they said, grabbing my hand as I tried to raise it. "This is all part of the Boss' plan, even if it's kind of unsettling. We can't have him recognize you as Haruhi!" I had to admit this made sense, so I didn't put up a struggle any longer. They painted green powder onto my eyelids, lining my eyes with black. I could only hope they knew what they were doing. I'd kill them if I ended up like a clown.

Then one of them pulled out some eyelash curlers. They looked like some sort of medieval torture weapon. My eyes widened as he brought it closer, but then Tamaki burst through the door.

"Gentlemen!" he called. "Here you all are! What are you doing?" The twins looked round, and I hastily jumped up from my seat before they could damage my face any further. "The guests are waiting for—" He caught sight of me for the first time, and fell silent. The corner of his mouth twitched in an astonished smile, his eyes fixed on me in awe. I felt my cheeks flushing pink, and turned away to walk through the curtains. I bent down and picked up the mirror, gazing back at my own reflection. What I saw made me almost scream and drop it.

I put it hastily put it down on the vanity and clapped a hand over my mouth. I was pretty. I actually looked pretty. No, gorgeous. I looked…I looked like my mum. I could feel my heart beating quite fast, and couldn't stop the smile coming to my lips behind my hand. I turned around and pulled open the curtains again, grinning at the twins. They winked at me. Tamaki hadn't moved, quite simply staring at me. The twins exchanged looks, then jumped on him from behind.

This seemed to snap him back to reality. He toppled to the floor, struggling with the twins for a moment before he stopped, looking up to see me raise my eyebrows. The twins looked up too, taking in their handiwork.

"So, what do you think?" they asked, still sprawled on top of Tamaki. Honey skipped between them and me, holding out a pair of pink high heels. He giggled as I took them tentatively. I bent down and slipped them onto my feet, wobbling dangerously. Mori steadied me with a hand, leading me over to the door. I thought learning the waltz was bad enough, but this was horrible. I felt sure I was going to fall over, and die of a broken neck.

"Good luck, Haru-chan!" Honey called, waving after me as I stumbled slowly away across the room. Tamaki sat up, pushing the twins off of him. He stared after me, a coy smile on his face.

"I…can't believe…she's so pretty…" he whispered, his eyes almost bringing forth tears. I somehow made my way to the East side of the room. Somehow. I'd call it a miracle. But one thing kept me happy; if my mum could see her little girl now, she'd have had no shame in crying.

By the time I reached halfway down the East corridor I knew that there wasn't much time left, so I simply kicked off my shoes, and made my way in comfort to English Room 7. It was almost bliss to walk in bare feet. When I pushed open the door I saw Tohru standing by the window, gazing out at the cherry blossoms. They were in full bloom. I guessed that at least some dreams had come true. But now I was to one to make others happen.

At the sound of my footsteps he turned around.

"Oh…hello…" he said, seeing me stepping towards him through the dark classroom. He reached around inside his pocket, and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. "I think I know who you are…you're the one who sent this letter, aren't you?" I said nothing, not entirely sure of what to say. "You're totally different from what I imagined,"

"Letter?" I repeated, a little confused. I had never sent a letter. Maybe there had been a mistake. Tohru frowned at me, unfolding the letter and holding it straight.

"My dearest Tohru," he read, "I'm in love with you. I mean 'love' love. Since the first time I laid eyes on you I've been head over heels in love," I wanted to retch. It was the most sickening thing I had ever heard. Did girls actually think like that? But it didn't stop there. "It's like my heart is stuck in a never ending typhoon; all these feelings and fantasies of love keep whipping around in my heart, like breaking waves!" Please stop. Stop. This isn't a letter, this is…this is…I don't even know how to describe it…awful! "Every time the waters of my typhoon rise I want to run to you, like Noah's Ark! Oh, I do! Please, my dearest darling, wonderful Tohru, accept my love and be mine forever!" Then followed a long string of flowery hearts and kisses.

Who would write such a stupid letter? Then I realized. Only the Hitatchin twins could write something like this. I wondered quite how much fun they had thinking of all the stupidest, soppiest love lines to write. Tohru offered the letter forwards, and I slowly reached out to retrieve it. I looked up as my finger brushed his against the paper, and he frowned slightly as he saw my face.

"Excuse me," he said quietly. "But…have we met somewhere before?" My eyes snapped wide, and I hastily pulled back, crumpling the letter in my hand and throwing it behind me. It bounced away to the door, and I shook my head hastily.

"No, uh, this is the first time I've ever talked to you!" I said quickly, feeling my cheeks flushing red.

"Really?" he asked, "I could have sworn I recognized you. Oh, I think I know. You look a lot like Haruhi. You know, that honour student guy? Are you his cousin or something?"

"Haruhi? No!" I cried, "No, no, no! I've never heard of him. I'm new! Ha ha, yes completely new!" Tohru fixed me with a quizzical stare.

"If you're so new…then how come you're so attached to me?" he whispered. I said nothing, bowing my head. He had got me there. I couldn't think of any possible answer. There was a painful silence for a while. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. I looked up. "I'm…_flattered_ by your letter, but…I just don't feel the same way," His eyes were almost sad as he looked at me. "You see…another girl already has my heart,"

"Oh," I said, trying to sound surprised, but also sad at my 'heartbreaking' rejection. "I'm sorry. I…I didn't realize you had a girlfriend,"

"Unfortunately, she's not my girlfriend," he sighed, leaning his back against the window. "I even think she might be completely over me…" He looked out the window, gazing sadly at the cherry blossoms again. "In all honesty I think she'd be happier with somebody more self-confident than me,"

I looked at him, almost sadly. Neither of us heard Tamaki and Kanako walking slowly down the corridor.

"So, where exactly are you taking me?" Kanako asked quietly, looking out through the moonlit windows. Tamaki stopped, looking back at her.

"You know, you're not very good at being the one to manipulate others," he said. Kanako frowned, taken aback.

"Excuse me?" she asked, a little affronted. "Manipulate? What do you mean by that?"

"I have you figured out, Kasugazaki," Tamaki replied coolly, turning to look out of the dark window. "I know you're switching from Host to Host to get his attention. But I've recently noticed that you always look the happiest…" A small smile tweaked his lips. "…when you're gazing into a teacup," He turned his head to look at her. "Why is that…Kanako?" For a moment she stared at him, but then her eyes softened as she recalled the truth.

"Back when we were children," she said softly. "We used to sneak looks into his uncle's crafting room. There were all these high cabinets, simply filled with the most beautiful china you have ever seen. We knew back then that we'd be married some day, but being children we didn't realize what that would entail. We thought it would be like the story books, with a happily ever after…" She looked as though she was about to cry. "But now we're both so distant…and I don't even know why…It's pointless," She really was crying now, a thin tearstain running down her cheek. "No matter how hard I try, he never notices me. And now that he's decided to study abroad…without even telling me about it first…"

"So that's why I decided to change," Tohru explained to me. "No girl would want someone like me. I want to see the world, and hopefully become a better man in her eyes. I know it's selfish, but…I just wonder if she'll wait for me…"

"You're right," I said quietly, and he turned his head to look at me. "That is pretty selfish of you," He made a face as if my words had stuck a knife through it. "But maybe she'd understand if you just told her your true feelings? You never know, she may be willing to wait," His face softened, as the meaning of my words sank in. "You obviously have strong feelings for her, so why don't you just tell her before you break her heart?" Kanako was walking towards English Room 7, when she spotted a pair of pink high heeled shoes discarded midway through the corridor. She frowned, looking up the corridor past them to the slightly ajar door of the classroom. "I mean, would _you_ like it if she didn't tell you something as big as this?"

"I hadn't thought about it that way before…" he whispered, looking at me with understanding. "But, I don't know anymore. Do you think that I would even need to change for her?" I stepped up to him, taking hold of his arms and looking straight into his face. I tried to give him an encouraging smile.

"I believe that once your decision to change is made, the transformation has already begun," I smiled. There was silence for a moment, and then Tohru smiled.

"Thank you," he said, hugging me for a moment. The door opened, and he pulled quickly away. Kanako was in the doorway, staring through horrified eyes at the two of us. "Kanako…" She looked down sadly, realizing that he was just as cruel as herself. She saw the crumpled letter on the floor, and bent to pick it up. She unfolded it with trembling fingers, and the first line alone made tears stream down her face.

"My dearest Tohru…" she whispered, her voice shaking. "I'm in love with you…" She looked up, seeing the two of us still standing side by side. Her voice was weak and strained when she next spoke, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you two…I just…I just…" The letter fluttered from her hands to the floor, and she turned to run away down the corridor, her face buried in her hands. The rose fell from her hair, and landed on the floor behind her.

"Kanako!" Tohru called after her, pushing past me and racing out of the room. "Kanako!" He started down the corridor after her, and Tamaki walked up behind me. "Kanako, wait, please!" I knelt down and picked up the rose, straightening up. I lightly stroked a petal with my thumb.

"It seems like we only made matters worse…" I said, staring at the flower cupped in my hands. There was silence between us for a moment, but then I felt Tamaki's hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, lost for words.

"But he did go running after her," he whispered. "That proves everything," I smiled. He winked back. It is our responsibility, as members of the elite Ouran Academy Host Club, to make every girl happy. He was right. I could only hope that his plan would work.

Tamaki took my hand and hurriedly started pulling me down the corridor.

"Come on, we haven't got a moment to lose!" he cried enthusiastically, sprinting with me towards the ballroom. The rose fell from my hands, fluttering down to the floor. "We have to get you back to a Host, as quick as possible!" I didn't need telling twice. If Kanako ever saw me like this again I was scared she might kill me. I soon overtook Tamaki, bursting through the doors and pushing through a crowd of gossiping students. I almost jumped through the doors to the classroom opposite, ripping open the curtains and tearing off my wig before Tamaki had even entered the room.

He pulled the curtains shut behind me, his cheeks flushing red as he saw me unzipping the back of my dress before they closed. He clapped a hand over his eyes, quickly shaking his head. I dropped the pink dress to the ground around my ankles, tugging on my trousers and shirt. I hastily flipped the tie around my neck and pulled on my waistcoat and tails. I flattened my hair down, and grabbed a wet paper towel from the vanity, wiping the red from my lips and green from my eyes. It mostly wiped away, but a small amount of lipstick smudged across one of my cheeks.

I pulled open the curtains, and Tamaki hurried me out of the room to find that the ballroom was empty apart from us. Had there been some sort of apocalypse? But right then I didn't care. I had made such a mess of this, and I had to be the one to set things right. I pushed open the doors to the courtyard, to see Kanako running away beneath the high canopies of cherry blossoms. Tohru was catching up to her.

He grabbed her hand, and she turned back to look at him. She slipped on a loose cobble, but Tohru caught her and held her upright. They stood in silence for a moment, panting, Tohru's arms around Kanako. They were looking into one another's eyes; Kanako's filled with tears, Tohru's very close to. Then three bright spotlights burst into life above them.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" came a loud voice, almost filled with glee. Tamaki and I were walking slowly towards them. Kanako and Tohru looked around the courtyard, shielding their eyes against the bright light above them. Now that they looked, the entire courtyard was lined with the other students, all looking at the pair of them together. "It is time to begin the final dance of this evening's festivities!" The other Hosts came from the crowds to join us, myself and Tamaki. The twins saw the smudge of lipstick around my mouth.

"Who have you been snogging, then?" they asked.

"Shut up!" I hissed. "I haven't been snogging anyone!"

"Didn't think so," the one on my left said, grinning. "Who'd want to snog you?" I made a point of stamping on his foot.

"The last waltz of the night has been chosen by the Host Club for…" Tamaki flashed a smile at Kanako and Tohru, waving a hand towards them. "…this charming couple," Kanako looked around the courtyard, seeing every eye upon them. She turned back to Tohru, his eyes closed and head bowed. He let go of her, taking a step back. He was silent, and it seemed as though he was about to walk away. New tears welled in Kanako's hazel eyes.

"Kanako Kasugazaki…" he whispered, opening his eyes. "…may I have this dance?" He bowed low, offering her his hand. He looked up to see the blush burning in her cheeks. For a moment her eyes were wide, but then they softened as a shy smile spread across her face. She slowly reached for his hand, and as soon as she touched him he smiled.

"Yes…" she breathed. "Yes…oh, yes…" Tohru straightened up, and I couldn't help but smile as he took Kanako in his arms. Tamaki clicked his fingers above his head, and the music of the final waltz began to play. I watched them from between the twins, either one of them leaning an arm on my shoulder, but for once I didn't mind. As the two of them danced together, I felt at ease. Kanako twirled from Tohru's fingertips, her long blue skirt fanning out around her knees.

Despite the way I saw things differently to other girls, it was terribly romantic. They were dancing among the cherry blossoms, below the gleaming light of the moon. I could see Kanako's face glistening with tears. Tears of pure happiness. I even felt myself cry a little bit too, the warm haze around my eyes blurring my vision.

"I love you, Kanako…" Tohru whispered, so quietly that only the girl in his arms could hear him. "I've always loved you, and…when we're ready…I want you to be my wife," Kanako said nothing, for that was all she could say. She was brimming with happiness, and she rested her head on his chest as they danced, a blissful smile on her face.

"May this awkward couple be forever blessed!" the twins cried, and the whole courtyard laughed. Even Kanako and Tohru stopped dancing to laugh with one another. "And now we'll announce the Queen of the Ball!"

"Congratulations…" Tamaki paused for effect. "Princess Kanako Kasugazaki!" Every student in the courtyard whooped and clapped, applause thundering through the grounds. Kanako broke apart from Tohru, her face blushing scarlet as she looked around and around at all the smiling faces of her classmates. "And, as promised, you shall receive a kiss from the King!" Kanako's face turned even pinker, if that was possible, and looked apologetically at Tohru. He simply laughed.

"Hey, I don't mind," he whispered, taking her hand. "Not now that we're together again," Kanako smiled, nodding. She turned back to see Tamaki take a step forwards, but then the twins ducked in front of him.

"But, unfortunately, Tamaki has a terrible cold-sore," they cried, "and so the kiss will be substituted by Haruhi!" My mouth dropped open. What!? No way! I wasn't going to kiss another girl!

"Wha—no I don't!" Tamaki cried, but then the twins clapped their hands over his mouth, each grabbing one of his arms as he tried to throw them off.

"Yes, he does," they assured Kanako.

"Huge thing," one said.

"Massive," the other said.

"Bright red and swollen,"

"Like a grape!"

"Guys, what the hell are you talking about?" I hissed angrily, "His lips are absolutely fine! There's nothing wrong with them, at all!"

"Oh, so you were snogging Tamaki, then?" they asked, grinning as they saw the outraged look on my face. "Well, now we've got that covered up—"

"Oh, piss off, I'm not kissing _anyone_!" I spat, shooting them a dirty look.

"But Kyoya did say a little accident toward the end of the night would be great," they reminded me. "Why don't we just make the evening a little more thrilling for everyone?"

"There's no way I'm kissing another girl," I said stubbornly, "Besides, it wouldn't even be an accident, it would surely be on purpose, right?"

"If you do it we'll cut your debt by a third," Kyoya said coolly. My eyes widened for a moment. Blackmail. Bloody rich kids. I hated them all. But still…a whole third? The sooner this debt was repaid, the sooner I could start studying for my future. It took me a long time to consider it. It was only the cheek, right? What harm could that do? It was hardly even a kiss, when I thought about it. People do that for greetings all the time in places like France.

"Fine," I muttered, walking stiffly towards Kanako. Tamaki was struggling to break free of the twins, watching me walking towards the two in the center of the courtyard. Kanako took the final few steps towards me. Then it was just us alone together. Both of our faces were pink.

"Hey, Kaoru," one twin said to the other, not quite bothering to lower his voice so Tamaki couldn't hear. "You don't reckon this is Haruhi's first kiss, do you?" Tamaki's whole body seemed to stiffen as he stared through wide eyes at me. The twin's grip slackened on him, their hands falling from his mouth.

"You know what, Hikaru?" Kaoru said, grinning at his brother. Even as they spoke I had taken hold of Kanako's face. God, was I seriously about to do this? "I think it is,"

"Her first kiss…?" Tamaki whispered, his wide blue eyes fixed on me. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I started leaning slowly towards Kanako. God, this was awkward. I'd never done anything like this before, and hoped that this was both my first and last kiss. Tamaki's eyes narrowed, and he wrenched himself free from the twins. He started racing towards us, seeing how close I was.

He reached out a hand to pull me back, but then he tripped over the same loose cobble as Kanako. His outstretched hand pushed me into her with such force that I lost my balance, and instead of kissing her cheek my lips smacked right into hers. My eyes snapped wide open with shock, and I stumbled to regain my balance. It was worse than I had expected. I pulled back, mortified, clapping both hands over my mouth. I decided, then and there, that I would never kiss another person so long as I lived.

Kanako reached up a hand and lightly touched her lips, and then broke into fits of giggles. I expected Tohru to be angry, and shot him an apologetic look. But he was laughing, walking forwards to put his arm around Kanako. All the girls screamed in delight, the boys whooping and cheering. I could hear the twins howling with laughter behind me, and I turned to see them rolling about on the cobbles. Kyoya was laughing quietly too, holding his little black book, drawing what looked suspiciously like a tick. Honey was giggling atop Mori's shoulders, the face beneath him betray an almost non-existent smile. I heard an infuriated wail. I looked down. Tamaki was in a sprawled heap on the ground; sobbing.


	3. Beware the Physical Exam!

****In this chapter I found that leaving the matter of Yabu and his family open to interpretaion was just so uncertain, and I really wanted to strengthen Haruhi's confusion and respect for Tamaki and his kind/helpful/wonderful person side, and so I have the 'tale of Tamaki' (as I call it) to try and reuinte Yabu and his daughter****

Chapter 3

Beware the Physical Exam

The petals of the cherry blossoms fluttered through the air, blown by a cool Spring breeze. It was two weeks after the ball, and I was still fuming. The twins were delighted with themselves, daily reminding me of the 'thrilling' occurrence. Each time they did, which was most often directly in front of Tamaki, his cheeks reddened considerably, and he would stalk off to his corner for the next hour or so.

He had apologized again and again, but it still didn't change the fact that it had happened.

"If you're so sorry, then why did you even do it?" I had snapped, pushing him up against a wall after I grew sick of him tirelessly following me around Music Room 3, catching me at odd moments with my clients. "You had no right to do what you did! None whatsoever! I would have been fine, senpai!" I had refused to call him Tamaki since the ball, not allowing him the satisfaction of calling me his friend. "Fine!" I said again as he opened his mouth to object. "It was just the cheek, so who cares? It wouldn't have been my first kiss because it wouldn't have even counted!" He had tried to speak, but I hadn't let him.

"And another thing, how dare you decide who I kiss or who I don't!" I pulled his head down, glaring at him. "Yes, I didn't care too much to kiss another girl, but, my God, why did you have to do something so idiotic? You couldn't have just let matters pass, and keep my dignity? Oh no! You had to come running out and make an already horrible night the most mortifying of my life!" At this I had slapped him, letting go and starting away towards the door.

"Nice slap," the twins said as I passed, grinning. "We love it when you get angry at him,"

"Oh, piss off," I muttered, pulling open one of the doors. "I'm still mad at you as well," They laughed as I slipped through the doors, slamming it behind me.

But now I had to keep up my reputation as a Host. We were all outside, each of us in white shirts and black waistcoats. Thin red ribbon bows were tied at our necks, ruby cufflinks at our wrists. We were in a sectioned off garden area of the grounds, each side of the high white walls lined with cherry blossoms. The pale flowers were drifting through the air as the branches shed, filling the air with swirling pink. Had it not been Spring I would have presumed it to be snow.

Scattered throughout the garden were tables with white lace cloths, vases of roses and the tea sets upon them as usual. There was a round table near the centre, laden with cakes and other sweet things. Honey had been eyeing it with excitement and longing ever since we arrived.

It wasn't long before the garden was filled with girls. They all giggled at me as they passed, having not forgotten the events of the ball either. I would have given almost anything to have fallen into a coma at that point. But I couldn't, even though I had slipped away and was beating my head against the trunk of a cherry tree. Would I ever live down what had happened? I highly doubted it. But still, I did feel kind of bad about the way I had treated Tamaki. I didn't understand why he had tried to stop me, but it hadn't really been his fault at all; he had tripped, and yet I was taking all my frustrations out on him. Was I…really being so mean to him for…no good reason? And yet he didn't hate me at all, he still wanted to be friends. There weren't many people like that in the world, so why was I just throwing him away?

I heard the sound of tinkling china, and looked round the side of the tree to see the twins sitting together with a group of three girls. I saw a teacup fall sideways, prompted by a well-concealed kick under the table. The scalding tea inside spilled onto the right hand of one of the twins, and he gasped in pain.

"Kaoru!" the other twin cried, grabbing his hand and inspecting the slightly burned skin closely. "You really need to be more careful," he sighed, looking briefly up at his brother, their dark green eyes connecting. "Next time, you should keep your eyes on me…okay?"

"Of course, I will," Kaoru replied quietly, his cheeks flushing a little pink. He winced as Hikaru's fingers brushed his reddened skin, and his brother's eyes softened.

"Here, let me help," he said quickly, gently putting Kaoru's finger inside his mouth. The girls giggled, and one turned away with red cheeks.

"Oh, this is so overwhelming!" she sighed, giggling slightly.

"Oh no!" her friend said, taking hold of her arm. "Why are you looking away? You might miss it, and who knows when this sort of thing could happen again?" I heard footsteps, and turned my head to see Kyoya walking towards them, a large leather-bound book in his hands.

"Indeed, mademoiselle," he said, and the girl and her friend looked up at him. "All beauty is fleeting. Just look at these cherry blossoms," He motioned around the garden, smiling faintly. "You'll never be able to see them this vibrant again, before they all fall to the ground. And that's why," His smile was now devious, and he held out the book to them. "I've compiled this picture book to perfectly capture the beauty of the twins, through each passing day," The girls' faces lit up, and they darted out to take the book from him.

The twins broke apart, Hikaru pushing his brother's hand from his mouth. They both stared at Kyoya, their eyes wide.

"Incidentally," Kyoya continued, his voice slightly magnified over the girls giggling as they flicked through the pages of the book. "I've also made such books of each of the other Hosts; Tamaki, Honey, Mori, myself and Haruhi," My eyes snapped wide. That scheming little bugg—"I can offer you a discount, if you are interested in purchasing the whole set,"

"I'll buy it!" one said quickly, thrusting the twins' book into her friend and jumping to her feet. "I'll have them all!"

"Me too!" the other cried, dropping the book on the table and rising upwards too. "I'll buy all of them, too!" I was out from behind the tree, starting towards them.

"I'm sorry, but what exactly are you doing, Kyoya?" I asked coldly, my eyes narrowed. "Since when were you allowed to take pictures of me behind my back?" The twins shrugged, in synchronization as always.

"Well," they said, looking from one another to me. "Now we know how the club makes extra money,"

"But I have to wonder," Hikaru said, bending down and flicking through the pages of the photo book. Kaoru bent down as well.

"When exactly did he take pictures of us?" he asked. He paused, exchanging glances with his brother. "That's kinda perverted…"

I sighed, turning to walk away. I decided to head towards the cherry tree walk, which was seemingly empty. I closed my eyes, walking slowly beneath the canopy of entwined branches. My face was tilted upwards, feeling the cool breeze and occasional flutter of a petal against my skin. I paused, breathing a quiet sigh of contentment. It was so quiet alone, away from the other Hosts and giggling girls.

I heard a quiet footstep tap against the ground behind me.

"Haruhi?" came a voice I recognized all too well. I opened my eyes, turning my head to look back over my shoulder at Tamaki, peering out at me from behind a cherry tree. "Hey…how are you doing?" He stepped out, standing sheepishly to face me, rubbing his arm distractedly. I turned around to look at him, seeing his obvious discomfort. "Are…are you having a good time?"

"Senpai?"

"Look," he said, taking a few steps towards me. He was looking earnestly into my face, his usually bright blue eyes strangely sad. "I'm really sorry. You don't know how much. I don't like being hated by you, because I consider you one of my closest friends," he was directly before me now, his hands twisting together in front of him. "But…I guess what I'm trying to say is—"

"Senpai!" I interrupted, and he stopped. "Shut up. I forgive you," He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again. "Despite being a total nutcase, you're actually a pretty nice guy," His cheeks flushed slightly pink. "I'm willing to overlook what happened, on account of when you helped me on my first few days. I'm sorry for shouting at you…and the punch…and…" I sighed, bowing my head. "And the slap. I was just so worked up about…uugh! About everything! I've been really stressed lately, and sometimes all the club activities just strain me a bit too much, and…and I'm pretty sure it should be me to get punished, and not you," I looked up at him, seeing him smiling faintly. I extended my hand. "So, sorry. A-and thank you,"

"For what?" he asked, reaching for my hand.

"For…" I faltered, sighing sadly. "For showing me kindness like nobody else. You seem to be the only one to take my anger and yet still come back, ready to be my friend," I smiled, shaking his hand once. "You're a really nice guy, Tamaki-senpai. I just wished that others could see the side you show to me," He smiled, his eyes softening.

His hand fell from mine, only to reach towards me and pull me in to a warm hug. His arms were around me, and for a moment I was startled. I wanted to push him away, but he was warm and comforting as he was pressed against me. He smelled kind of like peppermint. It was…nice. I couldn't explain it. I had always told myself that if the nutcase Tamaki Suoh ever hugged me I would land a punch smack in the face… But now I felt the smile twitching at the corners of my mouth.

We broke apart, Tamaki pulling away and placing his hands on my shoulders. He was smiling guiltily.

"Sorry…" he mumbled. "I probably shouldn't have done that,"

"No, no," I laughed, shaking my head. "It's fine. Really, I-I don't mind," He smiled feebly, and I laughed again.

"So…" he said, letting go of me. "…do you want to go for a walk?"

"Sure," I replied, "It's a beautiful day for it,"

"Ha, I guess it is," he said, looking around. "So, around the cherry walk?" I shrugged, smiling. I didn't really know where I wanted to go, but I didn't mind. He laughed, slinging an arm across my shoulders. We started walking down the path, chatting lightly. Every now and then we caught glimpses of the others, the bright and budding flowerbeds.

"I see the flower reception is going well," he commented, pointing to where a group of girls were picking daisies and tulips. "All the same it's rather daunting to spend more time being admired, than doing the admiring," He waved at the girls, who all waved back. I laughed, walking on.

"Oh, wow, senpai," I said, grinning. "You're blooming in more ways than one,"

"You noticed!" he cried, flashing me a bright smile. "But yes, today my beauty is quite splendorous," He flicked a hand through his thick blonde hair, ruffling it up at the back. He started towards me, his hand stroking down the side of my face. "I'll bet you start falling for me, soon," he said quietly, smiling. He winked.

"Ha, as if," I laughed, pushing him away. "I'm not really into the princely type," I grinned, running away down the path. He started after me.

"Then what are you into?" he called. I laughed again, looking back over my shoulder. I failed to hear two sets of footsteps approaching from the sides of the path.

"I'm just on the more mischievous side," I said, turning to face forwards. Then I saw two pairs of hands extend from the trees on either side, grabbing me by each arm. The twins stood beside me, laughing.

"Really?" they asked, grinning. "Well, that's always good to hear," They turned their heads to see Tamaki, who was scowling at them. "Maybe you can come be our client for a while?"

"So listen, Haruhi," the one on my right said, before I could object. "What classes are you taking for next term? We still haven't decided yet,"

"How about conversational French?" the one on my left said.

"Eh…I don't know," I said, looking from one to the other. "I was kinda thinking about extended literature," The twins exchanged looks.

"Awesome," they said, glancing back at Tamaki. "We were thinking about that too!"

"Yeah, we three should totally take it together," said the one on my right, his voice loud enough to carry back.

"It would make perfect sense," said the one on my left, also louder than was necessary. "Since we are in the same class," They grinned over their shoulders at Tamaki, who glowered at them, sinking to the ground beside a tree. I looked back as well, seeing him just like he had been when I called him 'obnoxious'. Great guy, he may be, but pathetic was also another trait of his.

He looked back, seeing the class-congenial trio. I turned away, and Tamaki, stared at the ground by his feet. Then Kyoya walked past his tree, his bespectacled nose buried in his little black book.

"Say…mommy dear?" Tamaki said feebly. Kyoya stopped, not looking up from his book.

"What is it now…" he said, hardly suppressing a bemused smile. "…daddy?" Tamaki looked up from the ground, staring at myself and the twins.

"I have a new theory," he said, "I mean, it's just my hypothesis, but it seems that by being in the same class Hikaru and Kaoru are able to spend more time with Haruhi, than I get to here at the club," He looked back to the ground, frowning slightly. "This gives them the chance to get close to her, and if that happens—"

"Tamaki," Kyoya laughed, flipping the page of his black book. "You've only _now_ realized that?" Tamaki looked up quickly, with an expression that seemed as though he'd been struck by lightning. "Because, according to my research, in a single day the twins spend roughly nine hours of class and study time with Haruhi, whereas your contact with her is limited to only a few hours of club activity. In other words," He smiled at Tamaki on the ground. "Your contact with her each day is equivalent to that of 3%,"

"Aargh, I don't want to hear it!" Tamaki cried, leaping to his feet and starting towards myself and the twins. He pushed them aside, spinning me around and grabbing hold of my shoulders. "Listen, Haruhi! I don't want you hanging around those shady twins, any more!" My eyes were wide as he started shaking me.

"Who are you calling shady?" the twins asked angrily, pushing him back from me so that he stumbled and almost fell backwards.

"Go take a look at yourself, you little creeper!"

"And stop harassing younger girls when they don't even want to be near to you!"

"Guys, lay off!" I said quickly, starting forwards and grabbing Tamaki before he toppled backwards. "Just leave him alone, okay? But, seriously, senpai!" I turned to him. "Stop trying to take control of my life. You can't just order who I hang out with, and being a Host I would see them anyway,"

"Then maybe it's time you left!" he cried, grabbing me by the arms and staring into my face. "I just want you to go back to the way you were! To be a girl again, with lots of girl friends, wearing make-up and dresses, and doing whatever the hell girls do before the entire faculty finds out!"

"Senpai!" I shouted, wrenching his arms off me, and lashing out at him. I caught his cheek in a harsh, painful slap. He cried out in shock, clapping a hand to his face and falling backwards to the ground. He was sprawled in a heap amongst the dirt, staring up at me through wide eyes. I was seething, shaking with anger. "Just calm down, for the love of God! I'm not leaving the Host Club, I'm not going back to the way I was, and I'm not _ever_ going to do anything if you try and make me!" I bent down slowly, kneeling before him on the ground. He shuffled away a little, afraid that I would hit him again.

"Look," I said quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder. I could feel that he was shaking slightly. "It's kind of hard for me to respect you, if you're acting like this. Stop trying to change me, okay? I wanted to overlook what happened two weeks ago, but now…" I trailed off. "I'm thinking that you're just a little bit over-protective," No reply, but his face flushed red. I straightened up, turning back to the twins.

"Jeez," they said, "You really know how to take care of things, don't you?"

"Ten years without a mother," I shrugged, "A girl has to take responsibility for herself," At my words Tamaki softened, letting go of his cheek and getting to his feet.

"I had forgotten about that," he said quietly, bowing his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you, it's just…" He sighed, shaking his head.

"Just _what_?" the twins asked, their eyebrows raised. "Appointing yourself her father, calling her pretty in a dress," I frowned at him, and I saw his cheeks redden slightly. "Trying to stop her kissing someone, and now trying to keep us from presumably getting too close?" They exchanged looks, and then nodded. "Sounds like somebody's just a little bit jealous," At this his eyes widened, his whole face flushing pink.

I laughed.

"Yeah, right," I said, not for a minute thinking that they were serious. "You guys have the weirdest imaginations! As if _that_ could ever happen!"

"But anyway," the twins continued, looking from me to Tamaki. "She'll be found out soon enough. The school's physical exams are the day after tomorrow," Tamaki's eyes widened.

"Physical exams?" I repeated. Three sets of footsteps approached from behind, and I turned to see Kyoya, Honey and Mori. Honey was once again sitting astride Mori's broad shoulders.

"That's right," Kyoya said. "I forgot all about it. It's customary for all students, and every boy must have his measurements taken," All eyes were on me, all wide.

"Well, then I guess this means there's no doubting it," I said, "They're all going to find out I'm really a girl," The six boys around me exchanged worried looks.

…. ….

The girls were all whispering to one another, eyeing the new girl with delight. She had curly brown hair, a thin plait running through the short strands just behind her ear. Her large, dark brown eyes were innocent and kind, her cheeks a soft, rosy pink. The pale yellow dress pulled in at her petit waist, the lace stockings pulled up to her knees. The cherry petals were fluttering before her eyes as she gazed up at the academy.

"Haruhi," a voice called. She turned her pretty head to see a tall, handsome boy with sleek golden hair standing before her. Behind him was a large group of students, boys and girls alike, all staring at her. He laughed at the look of childlike surprise on her face, the pinkish hue of her cheeks. "Have you been waiting long?" She bowed her head, blushing slightly. "What's the matter? You look a little down,"

"I can't help it," she said quietly, holding her hands before her. "They all keep staring at me for some reason…I'm so embarrassed," She closed her pretty little eyes, sighing. Then she felt the boy's hand under her chin, gently lifting her face to look at him. She opened her eyes, seeing his transfix her own. His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her into his chest.

"They're looking at you because you're lovely," he whispered, smiling warmly. "Don't you worry; I promise that I will protect you, no matter what," The girl rested her head on his chest, her cheeks flushing with rose.

"Oh, Tamaki…" she breathed, her fingers gripping at the front of his blazer. "That makes me feel better. Thank you…I mean it,"

Tamaki's eyes snapped open, his chin resting on his hand. He was propped over the table by his elbow, just waking up from a doze. He sighed, closing his eyes again and sinking lower in his chair. He could hear himself and me laughing together, and he smiled faintly. There was a pale red starting to glow in his cheeks. Despite his smile his thoughts were not all happy. Should a father really be thinking in such a way about his little girl? Surely not…

"He must be having a great daydream," Honey said, and the twins looked over at Tamaki across the table.

"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she was found out…" he mumbled. The twins exchanged looks.

"What was that, you said?" they asked, but Tamaki didn't reply.

"Jeez, look at him Hikaru," one of them said. "He's blushing. I wonder what he's dreaming about,"

"Probably something perverted again," Hikaru shrugged. Tamaki opened his eyes, the red deepening in his face. "Most likely Haruhi. He's really starting to freak me out,"

"Au contraire, my friends," Tamaki said, straightening up in his chair. "I have discovered a new strategy," He rose from his chair, smiling. The other Hosts came over, almost interested. "While you've wasted your time, blind with jealousy, I have foreseen the outcome of this charade!" He turned away from them, smiling. He sighed, gazing up at the ceiling. "This is obviously going to turn out like a novel, a romantic-comedy, if you will. Haruhi and I are the main characters, on account of our blatant association and similar histories, and therefore we are love interests,"

"Love interests?" Honey giggled. "That's too cute, Tama-chan!"

"Yeah, right," the twins laughed, "If you guys are love interests, then what the hell are we?" Tamaki turned to face them, smiling wryly.

"You boys," he said, suppressing a laugh. "Are the homosexual supporting cast," Honey was the only one who didn't understand.

"You've got to be kidding," the twins said flatly, rolling their eyes.

"Hey, listen boss," Hikaru said, rising to his feet.

"I don't think you really get it," Kaoru said, also rising.

"If word gets out that Haru-chan is a girl," Honey said, hugging Usa-chan tightly. "Then she won't be able to be in the Host Club anymore. None of us would see her again," Tamaki's face fell, all colour seeming to vanish. Even his uniform seemed to dull. The twins exchanged mischievous glances, grinning.

"Except for us," they said, fixing Tamaki with a malevolent green stare. "We _are _in the same class, after all," Tamaki sank down into his chair, staring silently at the tabletop.

"But I bet if Haru-chan wore a girl's uniform she'd look even cuter than she does now," Honey said, offering Usa-chan towards Tamaki across the table. He took it without a word, cradling the fluffy pink toy in his arms. Honey giggled.

"Haruhi used to wear a girl's uniform before she came here, right?" Hikaru asked. "You know, back when she had long hair,"

"Yeah," Kaoru said, "She was pretty cute back then, too. She must've been really popular with the boys," Tamaki looked up quickly, his hands clenching around the pink rabbit in his grasp. Honey's mouth opened slightly, his chin wobbling to see Usa-chan being mistreated. Kyoya chuckled, flipping open his little black book.

"According to my reports," he said, his dark eyes flicking down the page. "Someone would declare their undying love for her at least once a month," Another clench of the hands.

"Oh, I see," Hikaru said, grinning at Tamaki. "So the boss wouldn't even be able to get close to her," Another clench, his knuckles going white. Honey's eyes were pricking with large tears, moaning softly under his breath. His tiny hands were edging slowly through the air towards his tortured pink rabbit.

"But we'd be able to," Kaoru said, grinning as well. "Because we sit next to her all day long," The colour drained completely from Tamaki's face, and he sprang to his feet, his eyes wide. Usa-chan fell from his arms and bounced onto the table, Honey quickly snatching him into a tight hug.

"No way…" Tamaki breathed, staring at the twins. "Don't you dare sa—"

"Guys!" I cried, the doors bursting open. Every head turned to look at me, holding all my books in my arms. "Sorry I'm so late, my bag just split and I had to carry everything," Tamaki hurried round the side of the table, pushing the twins aside. "Oh, hey senp—aargh!" He grabbed me firmly by the shoulders, knocking the books from my arms to the floor.

"Don't you worry, Haruhi!' he said quickly, staring into my face. "We're determined to keep your secret. No-one will ever find out you're a girl, not today, not during tomorrow's physical exams, not _ever_! So please," He shook me by the arms, his face and voice earnest. "Promise you'll stay our secret princess!" I blinked, my eyes wide, simply staring at him. There was silence for a while.

"Sure…" I replied, trying to pries Tamaki from me.

"You know what, Kaoru," one of the twins said, and myself and Tamaki looked at him. "I bet both of us would be pretty peeved if we had to watch all the guys flirt with her,"

"Then I guess it's settled," the other twin said, both of them turning to look at us. "Even _we_ don't want her to change,"

"It's time to commence Operation; Conceal Haruhi's Gender," they said together. I raised my eyebrows.

"Seriously?" I asked, finally managing to push Tamaki off. I rubbed my shoulder, bending down to pick up my scattered books. "What is it with you guys and strategies, and all these stupid operations?" Tamaki walked away towards the others, tapping his chin with his finger.

"Idea!" he cried, and all five others snapped to attention. Kyoya flipped open his black book, clicking a pen and starting to write. "Listen up, squadron!" Squadron? God, he was weird. I finished picking up my books, walking towards the table and dumping them into a chair. I leaned against the table, watching the others. Who knew? It might have been entertaining. "At tomorrow's physical exams position yourselves in Formation A," _Formation A_? What the hell was that? "And then wait for further instruction!"

"Yes sir!" the twins and Honey replied, snapping to a salute. Mori rolled his eyes and walked away, Kyoya finishing what he was writing with a flourish.

"You know, guys," I said, and they all turned to look at me. "I could just call in sick," Tamaki's face fell, and the twins exchanged looks.

"But where's the fun in that?" they asked. Then they grinned at me.

"Unless you want us to stay home with you, maybe take care of you with a fever?" said one.

"Yeah, we could keep your bed warm for you," said the other. Tamaki's eyes flashed, and he knocked their heads together. They cried out in pain, clutching their heads and stumbling aside.

"Oh, no you don't!" he said angrily, "God, you've got sick minds, you know that?"

"Nothing compared to yours," they said, rubbing their heads and grinning at him. "What was it you were dreaming about earlier? 'Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she was found out'?" I frowned, my eyes flicking over to him.

"Never you mind!" Tamaki snapped, but there was a red flush in his cheeks. The twins laughed, sitting down together opposite me.

"Pervert," they muttered under their breath.

"I heard that!"

"So…" I said, frowning slightly as I drew my eyes away from Tamaki. The twins and Tamaki looked at me. "I've barely been able to follow what you guys are saying, but I think I've got it; you guys are worried that they'll find out I'm a girl, right?" They nodded. "And if that happens I won't be able to stay a Host, and repay my debt," Another nod. Then I started mumbling under my breath, trying to figure out my balance and a long string of numbers I can't even remember. They watched me in confusion as I tried to figure out the expense. "Ha, I guess I'm just going to have to think of another way to pay you back," I laughed.

Then twins rounded on Tamaki.

"Boss, _do _something!" they moaned. "The subject doesn't appear to have any motivation!" Tamaki groaned.

"Uurgh, why must we me stuck with such a difficult heroine?" He pushed through the twins towards me, his arms folded. "Are you saying that you hate being a Host?" he asked, "Do you hate this club?" I shrugged.

"To be honest," I replied, pushing him away. "I'd have to say yes," His face looked as though I had just slapped him again. Even the twins seemed crestfallen.

"Ouch," they said, "Harsh words,"

"You hate being in the Host Club?" came a tiny voice. I looked down to see Honey staring up at me, his big brown eyes filled with tears, Usa-chan clutched tightly in his arms. "You don't like us? What did we do wrong?" I couldn't help but feel bad. Nobody could say 'no' to those adorable brown eyes.

"No, Honey," I said gently, bending down and picking him up. I hitched him up on my hip, bouncing him gently like the small child he was. "It's nothing you did, if that's what you mean. I will always like you," I hugged him briefly, before turning back to face the others. "All of you, I mean. You're all great guys, and everything, complete nutcases at times, but," I sighed, shrugging. "If I get found out there's nothing I can do, you know? I am what I am, and no amount of dressing it up can change the fact that I'm a girl. In this uniform I might look like a boy, but without it…" I paused, my cheeks flushing red. The twins looked at Tamaki. He was trying to hide his face. "…well, you get the point,"

"She doesn't seem to care one way or the other," the twins said, frowning at me.

"We just have to think of a way to motivate her…" one of them whispered to the other. They both nodded. "But what? She's always so impassive," There was silence for a while, all the other Hosts looking from one to the other. None of them knew what to say.

"Please don't go!" Honey cried, throwing his arms around me and starting to cry. The others stared at him, and I took an uncertain step back. "Don't leave the Host Club, Haru-chan! Don't!" I looked around at them with a pained expression, not entirely sure what to do. "Just stay and be happy with us! You're like a sister to me!"

"A…sister?" I repeated uncertainly, looking down at him. "D-don't be silly, Honey. I don't have to stay in the Host Club just for that, do I?" He looked up at me, his lips trembling and his cheeks glistening with tears. "I-I mean…I could be your sister if I was a customer, right? I could visit you every day if you wanted me to,"

"But that's not enough!" he sniffed, more tears brimming in his big brown eyes.

"Really, Haru, you'd actually visit us?" the twins asked, getting to their feet. I looked over to them instead. "You'd be our customer?"

"Of course I would," I replied, gently stroking Honey's hair. "You're like family; brothers to me, all of you," The twins beamed.

"And fathers…" Tamaki added. I turned to him, setting Honey down on the floor. I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"And…fathers…" I repeated slowly. Tamaki smiled.

"Well, then if that's the case," he said, stepping up to me. "You're staying in the Host Club," I frowned slightly. His smile widened. "Because family doesn't desert one another," I sighed, raising my eyebrows. "Not for a fight, and definitely not for a physical exam," For a moment I said nothing. Then I smiled.

"Then it looks like we're going ahead with Operation; Conceal Haruhi's Gender," I replied, with a feeble laugh.

"That's my girl," he whispered, pulling me in to a warm hug. Honey threw his arms around my legs, hugging me as well. Then two more pairs of arms wrapped around me, and I heard the twins laugh. Kyoya was smiling, scribbling a note in his book, Mori's lips curved slightly in what could just be discerned as a smile. Four bodies were pressed around me, and over thirty seconds passed.

"Guys," I gasped, closing my eyes tightly. "I can't…breathe,"

…. ….

"We will begin conducting physical examinations shortly," came the voice of the announcer. "All students please proceed to the clinic in your respective school building. Thank you," Then came the chime which signalled the end of the message. There was a buzz of chatter throughout the classroom as we all packed up our things, and then I heard thirty chairs scraping back across the floorboards.

"Come on, then," the twins said, turning back before they left.

"I'm coming, already!" I retorted, slinging my back over my shoulder. "God, you guys are such jerks sometimes! Why did I even agree to stay?" They laughed, pushing the door open and walking out with me.

"Because even you can't say no to Honey when he starts crying," they said, "Heartless as you are,"

"Oh, shut up," I laughed, pushing them both playfully. We carried on down the corridor, which was packed with students from all over the school. "So what's the deal with this 'Formation A' thing, you guys were talking about?" The twins exchanged glances over my head, and grinned. "And what do you even _do_ in a physical exam here, at Ouran?"

"It's no different to one you'd get at any other school," the one on my right said.

"Yeah, why would a physical exam be any different for us, just because we're rich?" the one on my left said.

"Ha, I guess you're right," I admitted, "I didn't really think about it that way," The door to the clinic, as it was called, was up ahead. When we reached it I pushed it open. What I saw made me falter. The entire way forwards was lined on either side by either nurses, in white dresses and aprons, or doctors, with long white coats and a stethoscope hanging around their necks.

"Welcome students," they all called. It was like the twins speaking together, but magnified by about a hundred.

"What is all this?" I asked, seeing the smiling faces of every person in the room smiling at us in the doorway.

"Just another physical exam," the twins said, walking past me into the clinic. "The usual,"

"Usual?" I repeated, frowning. I started inside, seeing that the twins were almost immediately pulled aside by a pair of nurses.

"Excuse me, Hitatchin brothers," one of them said, "Please follow me this way to have your height measured,"

"Sure thing," they said, starting after her down the room. I frowned, shaking my head slowly. This just wasn't normal.

"Mr. Fujioka?" a nurse called from the end of the row. I hurried down the room towards her. "Hi, I'm Chiaki. I'll be your physical examiner for this afternoon," She took my hand, and started pulling me across the room. "Please, come this way,"

I heard a few suppressed giggles, and turned my head to see a group of girls around a pair of doctors wearing thick round glasses. One was very tall and thin, with pale skin and black hair. The other was very small, with golden hair. The sleeves and tails of his white coat draped along the floor, and the floppy pink ears of a rabbit poked out from one of his bulging pockets.

"Why are Honey and Mori-senpai dressed as doctors?" one of the girls giggled.

"Honey-senpai? Mori-senpai?" I asked. They shook their heads quickly, putting a finger to their lips and shushing me. "You're so obvious,"

"I brought those two for backup," Kyoya appeared beside me. "Just in case something happens,"

"But why are they in doctor disguises?" I asked, frowning.

"They were just hoping to set the mood," he shrugged, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Disguises are what makes our operations feel like a real espionage mission," I groaned. Espionage? "Besides," he added with a small laugh. "Honey-senpai has a thing for dressing up, and whatever he does, so does Mori-senpai,"

"Well, I'm impressed," a voice came from my other side. I looked round to see a larger girl standing on a pair of scales, the doctor reading them smiling. "You've lost two whole kilograms since I last saw you,"

"Really?" the girl cried, "That's so good to hear! I felt for sure I was heavier,"

"Not at all," the doctor replied. "Keep it up and I'm sure you'll be even healthier next year,"

"Don't you think it's weird," I said over my shoulder to Kyoya. "That all these doctors are so jovial and nice?"

"They're chosen by the school's Chairman," he replied, "This may be a school, but it's also a business. Therefore he wants to keep the students happy. After all, most of the students in attendance come from prominent families that have their own private doctors at home, so this…is just a formality,"

I sighed, turning away. These damn rich people.

"This way, please," Chiaki said, gesturing for me to follow her. We passed a doctor midway down the room, and he hurried along. Kyoya was flicking through his black book when the man accidentally bumped into him as he walked.

"Oh, s-sorry," he said in a worried voice, and Kyoya turned to see an unshaven, slightly apprehensive face. He paused, looking the doctor up and down.

"No problem," he said cautiously, frowning slightly. The man turned and hurried away, looking around as if he'd lost something. Kyoya watched after him, pushing his glasses up his thin nose. "Huh…"

"So what are we doing?" I asked, a little nervously, as we reached a small area separated from others by curtains on either side. The front was left open.

"Oh, we're just going to measure your height," Chiaki replied brightly, "Then we'll take you away for some other examination, either for eyesight or measuring your chest like all the other boys," I gulped.

"If possible," I said quickly, "I'd like to have my eyes tested first, if that's okay?"

"Of course," she smiled, retrieving a long measuring tape from the table beside me. She strung it down to the floor seeing how tall I was. She smiled, setting it down and writing something down on a piece of paper. "Lovely, 5'5". Only a little bit small for your age, but you'll soon grow out,"

"Ppssh, midget," I heard two voices snigger from beside me. I pulled back the curtain to see the twins sitting down in the next section. They grinned at me. "We're almost 5'9", and we're only a few months older than you. Hurry it up, Fujioka," I scowled, shaking my head slowly.

"Hitatchin brothers," a nurse said, and they stood up. "We're going to measure your chests now," Their nurse motioned for a curtained cubicle. There was a group of girls gathering close by, all eyes on the twins. "If you'd just step in here, one at a time, and undress," The twins exchanged glances, smiling faintly.

"Doesn't matter to me," the one on the right said, unbuttoning his shirt and pulling his arms from it. The girls giggled, their faces glowing with a pink blush.

"We're not shy," the one on the left said, with a small laugh. "Who needs a curtain?" His shirt slipped from around his shoulders, falling to the floor. The girls giggled even louder, all but swooning. I chanced a quick look sideways; no matter how I dressed I was a girl, and some old habits just stuck. I caught a glimpse of their skinny, bare chests, their arms muscular and curved. I found myself staring for longer than was normal, and hastily pulled my eyes away.

"I won't allow it," the first twin whispered, putting an arm on his brother's shoulder. "It's just not fair. I won't let those doctors touch you, Kaoru,"

"What are you talking about?" Kaoru replied, "You don't seem to have a problem with touching me when we play doctor at home…" Then he started laughing, putting an arm around Hikaru's waist. "I just can't get you to stop tickling me, and playing around with my body," The girls all but screamed, some actually falling to the ground in fits of giggles.

"Come on, Haru-chan, this way!" I heard a voice cry, and turned to see a very small doctor with a pink rabbit racing towards me. Honey grabbed me by the hand, pulling me away through the darkened back curtain as everybody else was distracted by the twins. He suddenly let go of me, disappearing, and I stumbled and fell. I would have screamed, but then a pair of arms wrapped around me before I hit the ground.

"I've been waiting for you," came a laughing voice. Oh no. Don't leave me alone in the dark with _him_! Tamaki leaned towards my ear, smiling warmly. "My secret princess,"

"Senpai, get off me!" I hissed, elbowing him away and stumbling to my knees. I huffed, staring up at him. "Please don't tell me _this_ is part of your marvellous plan," He laughed softly, tilting his head to one side and looking at me.

"You're so cute when you're surprised," he said, bending down and kneeling before me. "But...yes, it is," I raised my eyebrows, and he laughed. "Don't worry, it's foolproof!" he said with a flourish, raising his arms high above his head dramatically. I noticed that he wasn't wearing his blazer, but just his white shirt and trousers. There was something sleek and a little hairy sticking out of his back pocket.

"Mr. Fujioka?" I heard a voice call from the other side of the curtain, and I froze. "Mr. Fujioka? Hello? The Hitatchin brothers have just told me you wear contacts and don't need your eyes tested, so it's time for me to measure your chest," I scowled, glowering at the floor. I heard the girls on the other side fall silent, and many pairs of feet rearranging themselves. They all wanted to see me now.

"Those scumbags," I muttered, curling my hand into a fist. "I'll kill them for this," Tamaki got to his feet, reaching for his back pocket.

"This is it, Haruhi," he said dramatically, "The inevitable moment has arrived. You just stay back here and wait, okay?" I jumped to my feet, staring at him.

"But what are you going to do!?" I cried, "There's literally nothing that will—" He put a finger to my lips, shushing me gently.

"Don't you worry," he said quietly, "I'll protect you," I raised my eyebrows, and he pulled his hand away. I saw that in his other hand was a short brown wig. He placed it on his head, rearranging it to cover his glossy blonde curls. Even though I would never have admitted it out loud, I had to say he looked good with brown hair.

"A wig?" I said flatly as he finished. "There is no way this is going to work,"

"Oh, ye of little faith," he whispered with a smile, walking past me and unbuttoning his shirt. "I'll promise to protect you,"

"Mr. Fujioka?"

"Yes," Tamaki said, pulling open the curtain, his high frame silhouetted against the light of the main hall. "I'm ready," The shirt slipped down his arms, and he stood shirtless by the opening. The crowd if girls were all whispering to each other, instantly seeing through him.

"That's Tamaki," His face fell, his mouth dropping open in surprise.

"There's no denying it,"

"It's definitely him,"

"What's going on? Is he trying to be funny?"

"It's a beautiful name," She shook her head slowly, her slightly widened eyes fixed upon me.

"Yes," she said quietly, stepping a little cloheaared behind the crowd of girls, catching sight of Tamaki's confusion. They burst into laughter.

"I can't believe he really did it!"

"They recognized him! I told you they'd see through it!" Tamaki's eyes widened, his face burning scarlet with anger. He cried out in anger, ripping the wig from his head and starting through the girls towards them.

"You jerks!" he shouted, grabbing them by the fronts of their unbuttoned shirts and glowering at them. They were still laughing, tears streaming down their faces. "You told me there'd be no way the girls would be able to tell it was me!"

"It's payback for calling us the homosexual supporting cast!" one of them said, choking with laughter. Tamaki looked as though he was going to strangle them, but instead he pushed them away and stormed back through the curtains, ripping them shut behind him. He turned to see me standing there, arms folded and eyebrows raised.

"They, uh…figured it out," he said sheepishly, still hearing the whoops of laughter and giggling girls on the other side of the curtain.

"You don't say," I said coldly, pushing past him and opening the curtains.

"No, don't!" he cried, but I looked back at him through blazing eyes.

"Don't tell me what to do, senpai," I hissed, walking out. The curtains slid shut behind me, and Chiaki started forward with a measuring tape. "Not now, I have to go to the bathroom," I said shortly, pushing past her. The twins were still quaking with laughter, doubling up as I approached. "Assholes," I muttered, stamping down hard on their feet as I passed.

I left the main hall, turned the corner by the doors and sinking to the floor. I sighed, drawing my legs up and staring my knees. I couldn't hide forever, and I knew that. I had five minutes, maximum. There was no way I could think of an alibi in that time. But the so-called 'marvellous' plan had failed, as I had expected. It was absolutely typical; Tamaki was just living in his own carefree world. I closed my eyes, bowing my head into my knees.

The door closed, and a pair of feet stopped beside me. A hand placed itself on my shoulder, and I looked up at Kyoya.

"Haruhi," he said, "I went ahead and set up a separate room for you; a special boy's clinic. And I have a doctor standing by, sworn to secrecy," The door opened again, and the twins came out, shrugging on their blazers.

"Turns out the doctors here today are all staff at one of Kyoya's family's hospitals," one of them said.

"Would've been nice if he'd said something to us earlier," the other said. Kyoya smiled.

"Oh, I had to get my revenge too," he said, "I'm sorry, but I just don't think I'm supporting cast – homosexual or otherwise," The door opened for a third time, and Tamaki staggered out, his shirt hanging limping around his shoulders. He looked at me apologetically, but I rolled my eyes and got to my feet.

"Take me there," I said shortly, and Kyoya nodded. He started to lead me away down the corridor, the twins following. As I passed him Tamaki tried to smile but I pushed him away, not even glancing back. He bowed his head, staring at the ground in silence.

"What's wrong, Tama-chan?" came a little voice, and he looked round to see Honey opening the door a fraction. His face seemed sad in response to Tamaki's depression. Then Honey brightened up, smiling broadly as he said, "You look like you could do with some cake! I was just thinking of getting some,"

"Haruhi…is mad at me…" Tamaki said weakly, shuffling his feet. Kyoya led me down a side corridor of the West side, towards a classroom that was hardly used. He knocked on the door, and I heard a chair creaking from inside.

"Come in," called the voice of a woman, and Kyoya stepped back.

"We'll go back to the main hall," he said, "Take as long as you wish,"

"Sure," I said, pushing open the door and stepping inside. When I closed it behind me and looked round I saw a woman in a white coat sitting in a swivel chair. She surveyed me through square spectacles, a long tail of hair running down her back. I heard footsteps down the corridor, which told me the others were returning to the main clinic.

"Oh, hello, you must be the Fujioka child?" I nodded. She got to her feet, and walked forward to take my hand. She shook briefly, before letting go and folding her arms. "I have…been made aware of your situation," I grimaced, my breath hissing through my teeth. She gave a small laugh, motioning a hand in the direction of a curtained area close by. "If you wouldn't mind, please disrobe in there,"

"Oh, um…sure," I said, walking over and pulling open the curtains. The others were back in the main hall, squeezing past a large group of girls to get back to their doctors.

"I'm telling you!" a girl from the very middle sobbed. The Hosts paused, exchanging glances and looking back at the group of girls. "One of the doctors grabbed me by my shoulder, and he wouldn't let go!" Kyoya frowned, pushing his glasses up his nose. The twins exchanged nervous looks, Honey seeming almost as frightened as the girl. Mori conveyed next to no emotion, but nonetheless he looked around the room worriedly. "He was trying to make a pass at me, but then he just threw me away and ran off; I've never been so terrified!"

"I had a feeling something like this might happen," Kyoya said.

"What do you mean?" Honey asked.

"A bit earlier," Kyoya replied, frowning. "I saw a strange man. He was wearing a white lab coat, but clearly wasn't one of our hospitals' doctors. I thought he was a little odd,"

"Shouldn't you have said something sooner?" the twins rounded on him. "For the smartest one here, you sure can be a dumbass sometimes,"

"Hey, guys," Tamaki said, appearing beside them. "What's going on? Why's there a group of girls here?"

"It's no big deal," Kyoya said, "I'm sure the security guard will catch hi—"

"Catch who?" Tamaki interrupted, "Kyoya tell me, what's going o—"

"Let me through!" a doctor called, pushing past them. The crowd of girls parted, and the Hosts caught a glimpse of a teary girl sitting on the floor beside her nurse. The doctor knelt down, putting an arm around her in a comforting manner. "It's alright now, miss. But can you tell me where this man was headed?"

"Yes," the girl replied, "He went off in the direction of the Special Boy's Clinic," The Hosts froze, each exchanging wide-eyed looks.

"Haruhi!" Tamaki cried, dashing away down the room.

"Wait for us!" the twins called, starting after him.

"There's no time! She might be in trouble!"

I sighed, dropping my tie to the floor. My shirt was already unbuttoned, slipping down my arms as I absently stared at the mirror. I looked back at myself, seeing the skinny chest covered by a thin white top, the baggy trousers too large for my thin girl's legs.

"Oh, I've just remembered," my doctor called from the other side of the curtain. "I left my folder in the main clinic, I'll be back in just a moment,"

"Alright," I replied, unbuckling the belt around my waist and sliding it from the straps. I heard the door open, but it didn't close for quite a while. I shrugged, deciding it was nothing. I bent down to unlace my shoes, but then froze. The shackles of the curtain had rattled against the frame, and I looked round. A man in a white coat was standing behind me, the curtains still hanging open behind him. I opened my mouth to cry out in surprise, but he darted forwards and clapped a hand over my mouth. I raised a hand to push him away but he grabbed it with his other hand.

"No, no, no, please!" he hissed, looking earnestly into my face. "Please don't scream! This isn't what you think it is! I just—"

"Haruhi!" Tamaki ripped open the curtains, his eyes narrowing as he saw the strange man struggling with me. "Get off her!" he shouted, grabbing at his shoulders and throwing him off me. The man slammed into the wall, slipping down to the floor. I winced. There was a long, thin crack running up the plaster. Tamaki threw his arms around me, drawing me away. I stared, wide eyed and shaking, at the man on the floor. I gripped a hand over one of Tamaki's arms, trembling slightly.

"Haruhi!" the twins had burst through the doors, skidding to a halt on either side of us. "Haru, are you okay?" I nodded silently, still staring at the man. He groaned, coughing as he sat up a little straighter. They turned to look at him, bristling. "You better have a damn good story figured out, mister," They started forwards, grabbing him by either arm and hoisting him to his feet. "Because it's gonna take a lot to convince us you're innocent,"

"Guys, let go of him," I said, breaking free of Tamaki and starting forwards.

"Gladly," they said, dropping him. He stumbled forwards, falling to his knees. "We don't want to touch nasty old pervs like him, any more than we have to,"

"Give him a chance," I said quietly, kneeling before the man. "You're so cold-hearted sometimes," I cleared my throat, trying to look into the man's face. "Um…sir?" He cringed away, trying to avoid my gaze.

"Be careful," the twins said cautiously.

"Shut up!" I hissed, batting them away with my hands. Then I returned my attention to the man before me. "Sir, I'm Haruhi Fujioka, and I think there's been a small misunderstanding. Would you mind telling us what's going on?" He didn't look up, but took a deep breath.

"I'm a doctor," he said quietly, staring fixedly at his knees. "I own a small medical clinic, run in the next town from here,"

"Lord," the twins muttered to one another. "She asks what's going on, and suddenly it's his whole life story," I flapped my hand at them, and they fell silent.

"It's alright, sir," I said quietly. "Please continue,"

"My name…my name is Yabu, and I'm here to see if I could find my daughter," he replied feebly, his hands clenching slightly upon the floor. "You see…my wife left me some months, and took my daughter with her. But I know that she attends school here,"

"Doesn't 'yabu' mean quack?" the twins whispered cautiously. "What a lousy name for a so-called 'doctor',"

"I don't want to pry," I said, quite ignoring the twins. "But why did your wife leave you?" For a moment he said nothing. "I-I mean, you don't have to say anything, I was just being rude,"

"No, no, it's…it's quite alright," he said. "Well…after a long day of work, after a sickness had been around, my wife and my daughter approached me. 'I'm sick of this,' she said, 'You let someone give you an IOU, again; you promised you wouldn't let them do that any more.' But, in all honesty, despite my empty pockets and almost destitute living, I couldn't bear to see so many people sick without treatment…" He sighed, shaking his head slowly. "But that was it; they left me, forever," He looked up, and I saw his face clearly for the first time. Deep-set, tired eyes looked back at me, an unshaven chin and weary creases across his cheeks and forehead. "I know that I'm not good at pitching on money, and I can't say no to anybody. I don't blame them for being tired of constantly living in debt…"

I felt my lips contort feebly, as my eyes softened slightly. The twins were looking at him with mixed expressions, not sure whether to believe him. Honey and Mori stood beside them, Honey's cherub face glistening with tears. Kyoya was flicking slowly through his little black book. Tamaki was watching the man through hazy eyes, his cheeks red.

"I only wanted to see my daughter, one last time," Mr. Yabu continued, "And so I came here. After being pelted by rain, and wandering streets day and night I finally made it to your school. Once I entered I was mistaken for a doctor here, and was taken in to examine students,"

"Well, duh," the right twin said. "You're wearing a lab coat,"

"Anyone would mistake you," the left twin said.

"And then it happened," Yabu continued, sighing. "I saw a girl walking away that looked just like my little Yumi; red-brown hair, and taller than most others. I reached out to stop her, gently taking her shoulder and asking her if she was my daughter, but then she just screamed. Before I knew it there were all kinds of people chasing me,"

Tamaki walked forward and knelt down beside me. There was an awkward smile on his face. He extended his hand.

"Mr. Yabu," he said, "On account of the Host Club, I apologize profusely. We have done you a wrong, and mistaken your actions terribly. My heartfelt condolences for your daughter," Yabu reached out a slightly shaking hand, and grasped Tamaki's.

"Thank you, sir," he said. Tamaki nodded once, before standing up and assisting Yabu to his feet. Kyoya tapped a finger on a page in his book, and looked up.

"Excuse me, Mr. Yabu?" he asked, and Yabu looked round at him. "Were you looking for the Ouran Public Senior School?"

"That's right,"

"Ah," Kyoya said, flipping his book shut. "I figured that might be the case. For you see…this is Ouran Academy, a private institution. You're daughter doesn't come to school here," Yabu's face dropped, and he seemed to lose all visible signs of life. I got to my feet, sucking the air through my teeth. This was bad. Tamaki's mouth hung slightly open, and he flashed an apologetic look at Yabu. It didn't seem to be registered.

"That's pretty bad," the twins said. "You don't even know what school your own daughter's at?" I looked over to them, scowling.

"I bet your relationship is messed up because you didn't pay any attention to her,"

"Not because of some stupid debt," I sliced a hand repeatedly across my neck like a knife, glowering at them. '_Shut up_!' I mouthed, my eyes blazing. But Yabu didn't respond, his face filled with pain and grief.

"Wow, Kyo-chan," Honey said, "I'm impressed that you figured out he had the wrong school,"

"Well, it was almost obvious," Kyoya replied smugly, and I turned my gaze to him. "He described his life as all but destitute. There's no way such a small-town doctor could afford to send his daughter to such an elite academy," He caught my gaze, returning it with slightly raised eyebrows. "In fact, it's such a rarity only the best students from poor backgrounds may attend,"

I hastily looked away, burning inside. He kept on raising money in front of me.

"Kyoya," Tamaki said quietly, "Would you please find a map of all the public schools in the area?" I looked round at him, as did Kyoya. "I'd like to help this man find his daughter," There was silence in the room for a moment, in which Tamaki put a hand upon Yabu's shoulder.

"Whatever you say," Kyoya said, turning to leave the room. The others eventually filed out, leaving only the three of us. I smiled faintly at Tamaki. There was still that spark of decency within him, which he cherished so deeply inside his heart.

"Tamaki-senpai, I—"

"Haruhi, would you make Mr. Yabu some tea?" he said, and I fell silent. "And perhaps you could explain your positioning in the club; we don't need any more complications about your gender. And also…there's something I have to do,"

"Sure…" I replied, taking Yabu by the arm and leading him towards the door. I paused, looking back over my shoulder at him. I wasn't quite sure if I should say something. What was it that he needed to do so badly? He smiled.

"Trust me on this," he whispered. I was a moment before I smiled as well, turning back for the door. Tamaki drew his eyes away from me, looking instead at the floor. He saw my blazer discarded there, and looked up quickly to see me almost gone. "Wait!" he cried, snatching it up and hurrying towards us. He caught me by the hand, holding me back. I looked round, his grip tightening slightly. He offered forward the blazer. "Here," he said, "You'll need this,"

"Thanks…" I said quietly, taking the blazer and pulling it over my vest. "Do what you need to do," He smiled, nodding. A playful smile tweaked my lips. "But just…don't overdo it," Ha laughed, and I turned to lead Yabu down the corridor, heading for Music Room 3. Tamaki watched after us, before reaching inside his pocket and withdrawing his phone. He flipped up the screen, putting it to his ear. He watched us as we rounded the corner, the electronic ringing in his ear.

"Kyoya?" he said as soon as he heard the quiet rustling as the other end answered. "Have you found it?"

"Of course," Kyoya replied, "It's the other side of town, about ten minutes by car," Tamaki nodded.

"Good," he said, "Call the car for me, I have…some business there,"

"You'll have to get off the phone first," Kyoya replied with a small laugh. Tamaki smiled, pulling the phone away from his ear and flipping the screen back down. He put his hands in his pockets, starting to walk for the front doors. He pushed them open, and stood by the front steps, looking out at the bright day, his eyes set.

After a few minutes a large, sleek black car came up the drive, and Tamaki hurried down the front steps. A man in uniform and cap stepped out, holding open a door for him.

"Where to, Master Suoh?" the man asked as Tamaki clambered inside.

"The public senior school, the other side of town," he replied, smoothing out his blazer. "I have formal business there,"

"Right you are, sir," And the car door slammed shut. The car peeled away from the academy, driving with a quietly humming motor through the wrought front gates. Tamaki sat in silence the whole time, his legs crossed and leaning towards the window as he looked out of it. When the car pulled up beside the pavement Tamaki caught a glimpse of a large square building, surrounded by high fences, before Roderick stepped before the door and pulled it open.

"Shall I accompany you inside, sir?"

"No, no," he replied, stepping out and looking up at the school. "I shan't be long. Wait for me here,"

"Of course, sir," the driver bowed, and Tamaki walked past and through the open front gates. He knocked upon the front doors, and waited a few moments. He heard shuffling footsteps, and soon the door was opened by a stout woman with a pair of spectacles perched on her long nose.

"Hello dear. My name's Madame Shirabuki," she said, seeing Tamaki in the doorway. Her voice was slanted by a French accent. She took in his uniform, quite different to that of her own school's. "Oh, are you lost, my boy?"

"Hello, m'Lady," he said graciously, bowing. "My name is Tamaki Suoh, and I am currently in attendance at Ouran Academy," Her eyes widened at the name, knowing at once that before her was a boy of considerable wealth. "I am merely here on a visit to one of your students, with short business concerning only her council,"

"Ouran…student…business," she seemed lost, staring at the rich boy before her. "I-I…yes! Come in, dear, come in,"

"Thank you kindly," he smiled, and she stood aside for him to pass through the doors. The corridor was plain enough; white walls with a blue stripe, clear square windows and blue doors. He looked around, hearing the door close behind him. "What a charming building," he said brightly, looking back to the woman. "Would you mind telling me where I might find one Yumi Yabu?"

"Yumi Yabu?" Madam Shirabuki repeated. She paused, thinking for a moment. "She's one of our best, she is. Marvellous voice,"

"Oh?" Tamaki said with interest, starting to follow the woman as she walked away. "She's a singer, then?"

"Oh yes, one of the best we've ever had," the woman replied, turning left. "Most beautiful voice you ever heard. Like an angel," She turned right. Tamaki smiled.

"I should like to meet her, very much," he said. Down the corridor, and up a flight of stairs. They were now in a corridor decorated with paintings by students, and he paused for a moment to look at them all. "These are wonderful," he said with a smile.

"Our school is profound at expressive arts," she said, walking back to him. He turned to look at a particularly large one, depicting a girl with short brown hair sitting in a cherry tree, pale pink blossoms framing her laughing face. Musical notes rose from her painted mouth, slowly transfiguring into birds in the sky, flying up into large white clouds. He smiled, leaning in closer to look at the girl's face. Dark brown eyes looked back, small speckles of white making them almost glitter with her laughter.

"This looks very much like a girl I know," he said, tilting his head slightly to one side. He was silent for a moment, his eyes flicking around the painting. "It's mesmerizing…." he whispered.

"Your Yumi did that," Madame Shirabuki said, and he looked round. "Truly one of our best students. She'd have gone to your academy, if only her father hadn't left her in such a state," Tamaki's smile fell, and he looked back at the picture. "Every one of her pieces portray happiness, of some sort," the woman continued. "Seems like she's sunk into her own little world, as if the girls she paints are really her,"

Tamaki said nothing for a moment, straightening up and turning away from the painting.

"Could I please see her?" he asked.

"Oh, yes!" she cried, clapping her hands together. "How silly of me! Do come this way," She beckoned him follow her, and knocked on a door near the end of the corridor. She pushed it open after a moment, and the sound of a girl's voice drifted through the doorway to Tamaki. He followed the woman inside, looking around. The room was quite large, a shelf of instruments along one wall. More paintings hung from another, and in the corner of the room was a large black piano. A man was seated before it, his fingers seeming to dance across the ivory.

Standing behind it was a girl. She was pretty of face, small brown freckles dotting her nose and cheeks. The eyes behind a long reddish-brown fringe were brown, tinged with a mossy green rim. She was tall, within half an inch of Tamaki's height. Her pale lips were parted as she sang, her toe tapping along with the music of the piano. Tamaki smiled faintly. It was a song he knew well, French, but he'd never known it to be sung so beautifully. The woman beside him cleared her throat, and the man at the piano looked round. The girl's voice trailed away, seeing the handsome boy with blonde hair watching her. Her freckled cheeks flushed, and she quickly looked away.

"Sorry to disturb, Mr. Okahito," the woman said, motioning Tamaki to move forwards. "But this young man, from Ouran Academy, says he wants to see Yumi," The girl, Yumi, blushed even more.

"Ouran?" Mr. Okahito repeated, and the woman nodded earnestly. The man's eyes flicked from her to Tamaki, and then he smiled. "Of course, my boy!" he said cheerfully, getting to his feet. "We'll be outside if you need us," He walked over, clapping Tamaki on the shoulder before he walked out. The woman followed, closing the door after her. There was silence in the room for a while.

Tamaki took a step forwards.

"You have a lovely voice," he said. Yumi's blush deepened, her face almost as red as her hair.

"Thank you," she said timidly, chancing a look up. She saw his blue uniform, and then his bright blue eyes looking at her, and looked quickly back down. "You're…you're from the academy,"

"Yes, I am," he replied. Another step forwards. "And I've come here to speak to you,"

"Why would you want to talk to me?" Another step forwards, only the piano separating them.

"It concerns your father," he said. Yumi's head jerked upwards, her eyes wide.

"What?" she cried, hurrying round the piano and grabbing his arms. "What are you talking abou—is he alright? Where is he?"

"Miss Yabu!" he said, trying to quiet her. "Yumi, calm down. He's alright, but he's been through quite an ordeal. He only wants to know that you're happy," She looked into his eyes, shaking her head disbelievingly. "What should I tell him?"

"Nothing," she replied quietly, "You can't tell him anything, because what you would might break his heart," She let go of him, sinking down onto the piano stool. Tamaki bent down before her, but she hung her head, staring at her hands in her lap. The long reddish hair obscured her saddened face. "I'm not happy…" she breathed, her voice shaking slightly. "Not happy at all…"

"It's alright," Tamaki said gently, reaching out and putting a hand over hers. "Don't be afraid, I don't want to upset you," She sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I did want to leave, at first," she said, "But now…" she sighed, shaking her head slowly. "…now it's just me and mum, and nothing's worthwhile any more. I can only be myself at school, because I can't afford paint sets or a piano back home," There was silence for a while, as Tamaki considered her words. A thought crossed his head.

"Well, maybe it's time you make it worthwhile," he said with a sly smile. Yumi looked up, a slightly questioning look on her face.

"H-how…how do you mean?" she asked. He shrugged, straightening up. He offered his hand for her to take.

"You have talent, it's easy enough to see," he said, and Yumi took his hand and got to her feet. "But what you lack…is opportunity," He flashed a warm smile, his bright eyes shining. "What do you say you come with me? I have a small…proposition for you,"

"Proposition?" she repeated, a little confused.

"You can sing," he said, leading her slowly to the door.

"Y-yes…" she said sheepishly, not wanting to seem too full of herself.

"You can paint,"

"I suppose," He took hold of her other hand, looking directly into her face. He turned on his Host side, his smile all but melting her heart. Her eyes zoomed out of focus, her lips slightly parted.

"If you come with me now," he said quietly, "I can make you happy again,"

"Happy…" she whispered, looking sadly at him. She frowned for a moment, silently considering his words. There was a knock at the door.

"Miss Yabu?" came Mr. Okahito's voice as the door opened. "I think that it's time we resumed our lesson. I'm afraid you'll have to say goodbye to your friend," She blinked a couple of times, before coming back into herself. Mr. Okahito entered the room, and started walking forwards. For a moment Yumi was silent.

"I'll go with you," she whispered. He smiled, nodding once. He took her hand, and started pulling her past Mr. Okahito and out into the corridor. He stared after them with a bewildered expression.

"Excuse me, Yumi!" Mr. Okahito called, starting towards the door. "Your singing lesson doesn't finish for another half hour!" She looked back over her shoulder, smiling uncertainly.

"Don't look back," Tamaki whispered, and Yumi giggled as she looked round. They broke into a run as they reached the bottom of the stairs, and Yumi stumbled for a moment before giggling. Tamaki pushed open the front doors, and hurried out towards the car. Yumi stopped, staring with open eyes and mouth at the car. The man in the driver's seat stepped out, sweeping off his cap to her in a bow. She hastily curtseyed, and Tamaki laughed. "Yumi, you don't have to do anything like that. He's only the chauffer,"

"Chau—what?" she asked, frowning. He laughed, taking her by the hand and leading her into the car, and the man closed the door behind them. The engine rumbled into life, and she wriggled in her seat. "This is so crazy!" she laughed, looking out the window at her school as it slowly vanished from sight. "I don't even know where we're going, but I love it!"

"We're going to the academy," Tamaki said. Yumi whipped round, her eyes lit up with delight.

"Ouran!?" she cried, "I'm really going to the academy?"

"Of course you are," he said with a smile. She sighed happily, leaning back in her seat and closing her eyes. Her hands were wringing excitedly in her lap, and she kept on rearranging her pleated black skirt. Tamaki's face remained tweaked by a smile the whole journey, looking out the window the entire time.

"We're here," he said as they slowed to a halt, the engine dying away. Yumi took a few deep breaths, her heartbeat quickening as she heard the front door slam shut. Footsteps approached on Tamaki's side, and the door opened. He got out, motioning for Yumi to follow. She took his offered hand, and clambered out, blinking in the bright sunlight. "Welcome, Yumi," he said with a warm smile, "to Ouran Academy," She turned around, to see the most wonderful building she could remember.

"It's beautiful…" she whispered, slightly breathlessly, as she stared around at the academy. A wide smile broke across her freckled face. "I can't believe I'm really here…"

"Mademoiselle," Tamaki offered her his arm, and she took it with a small giggle. "Now, if I may, I'd like you to follow me," He started up the front steps, leading Yumi by his arm. They walked through the school, passing students in the corridors as they left from the physical exams. They all stopped as they passed, eyeing the 'commoner girl' with surprise. Yumi looked around the corridors with awe, taking in every square inch.

"This place is so gorgeous," she said, as they ascended the third floor staircase. "How is this even a school? It should be a museum," Tamaki laughed, turning right around the banister and heading for the door at the very end. She looked out the high windows as they passed, seeing row upon row of cherry blossoms lining the drive. She smiled, remembering quite how perfectly she had captured their beauty in her painting.

"Here we are," Tamaki said, pausing outside the double doors.

"Music Room 3?" Yumi read the plaque on the wall. She sighed happily, her eyes glazing over. "I can't believe it! A music room at the academy!"

"Ha, not exactly," he replied with a small laugh.

"Well then, what?"

"You'll see," he said with a wink, before pushing open the doors. He led her a few steps forward, before she caught sight of the man sipping tea at a table close by.

"D…dad…?" Yumi whispered. She took an uncertain step forwards; the man had not heard her. "Dad!" she cried, letting go of Tamaki and hurrying forwards. The man looked round, in time to see the girl with long reddish hair throwing her arms wide and pulling him into a warm embrace. "Dad! Dad, I've missed you so much!"

"Y-Yumi?" he whispered, completely bewildered. He looked up at Tamaki, seeing the smile on his face. "Yumi…" He wrapped his arms around his daughter, sinking to the floor and kneeling with Yumi there. The other Hosts gathered around, and I walked over to Tamaki with a small smile on my face.

"I was right to trust you, Tamaki," I said quietly, and he smiled.

"I didn't overdo it?" he asked. I laughed quietly, smiling at the two of them still hugging a few feet away.

"No," I conceded, "You did it perfectly," Tamaki surveyed Yumi for a moment, before his smile widened slightly.

"I have some ideas for that girl," he said to me, "Astounding talent. Never heard someone sing so well, or paint so wonderfully," Yumi caught his words and smiled, breaking apart from her father. "There was one that I saw, of this girl sitting in a tree," Yumi turned her head to look at him, noticing me for the first time. Her eyes widened slightly. "I have to say she looked kind of like yo—"

"Avis Carmen…" Yumi whispered, getting slowly to her feet.

"Is that what you called it?" I asked, not entirely fascinated by Tamaki's words. "It's a beautiful name," She shook her head slowly, her slightly widened eyes fixed upon me.

"Yes," she said quietly, stepping a little closer. "That _is_ what it's called, but…" She was before me now, staring down at me, her brownish-green eyes confused. "…_you're_ my Avis Carmen,"

"Excuse me?" I was now the one who was confused.

"You're her," she said, looking me up and down. "You're her, the girl from the painting! Same hair, same eyes, same…same everything! Except…" She trailed off, her cheeks flushing pink. She took a step back, biting her lip. "…you're a guy, aren't you?" I laughed, and so did she. Tamaki's eyes flicked momentarily towards Mr. Yabu, but he didn't say anything. True to Tamaki's instruction I had confided my predicament to him, and my gender would remain a secret; even to Yumi.

"And, speaking of your Avis Carmen," Tamaki said as he drew his eyes away from Yabu, calling us back to ourselves. He reached forward and took Yumi's hands, smiling warmly. Her cheeks flushed pink at his charm. "Yumi Yabu, you are exceptionally talented, and it would be my pleasure to ask the Chairman to grant you a scholarship," For a moment it seemed as though the words would never sink in. Then her eyes widened in astonishment, so large they seemed almost pure white.

"Scholarship…" she whispered.

"Scholarship!?" Mr. Yabu cried, slumping into his chair. "Oh my Lord, Yumi…my little Yumi a scholarship student for Ouran Academy…"

"Are you being serious?" she asked quietly, small tears in her eyes as she looked into Tamaki's. "Yyou…you would honestly apply for my scholarship?"

"Without a doubt," he said with a warm smile. The tears fell from her eyes, and for a moment she was silent. Then she threw his arms around him in a tight hug, crying with happiness.

"Thank you!" she cried, her breaths shuddering with tears. "You have no idea what this means to me!"

"It's nothing," he said, and she let go. "You and your father can go up to the Chairman's office; he's on the top floor, end of the corridor," She nodded, and her father came up to stand beside her. "I'll be up as soon as I can, I just have to finish something here,"

"Thank you, sir," he said, close to tears himself. He held out his hand, and Tamaki grasped it firmly.

"It's the responsibility of members of the elite Ouran Academy Host Club, to make every girl happy," Tamaki replied, letting go of Yabu's hand. He nodded, and put his arm around Yumi's shoulder to lead her from the room. The other Hosts turned to us, all smiling at Tamaki. Scattered applause came from them, and Tamaki sighed, slinging an arm around my shoulder.

"Well, now that they're happy again," he said, smiling at me. "How about we work on some other father-daughter relationships?" I laughed, ducking out from beneath him.

"There's nothing to work on," I said, "I'm not mad at you, Tamaki. That was an amazing thing you did; a kindness I've only seen from you," His cheeks flushed slightly pink, and I smiled. "But now…could you guys all leave?"

"Wha—why!?" he cried. "Did we do something wrong?"

"Of course not," I said, shrugging off my blazer. "I just have to continue my physical exam," I dropped it over the back of a chair. I smiled at them all. "As a male student, of course," The twins beamed, Honey's face lighting up. Kyoya smiled, and even Mori couldn't help but grin – faintly, I'll admit, but it was an astounding feat by any standards. Tamaki's lip was trembling, his eyes bright and shining. "But I'm not doing it just because I need to pay off my debt," I flashed a shy smile. "I'm doing it because I love you guys,"

"Well, who couldn't help but love us?" the twins said, and I laughed. They walked forwards and hugged me, and I hugged them back. I felt Honey's arms around my legs again. Even Kyoya hugged me this time, but it was brief. Mori still didn't. We all broke apart, and I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head to see Tamaki, smiling as happily as I had ever seen him. I smiled back.

Then he wrapped his arms around me, still standing behind me like my shadow. For a moment I was surprised, but then raised my hands over his arms. We stood there for longer than we had before, and for an uncomfortable moment it seemed like he would hold onto me forever. I looked slightly awkwardly around. Still he didn't let go. I bowed my head, sighing. The twins exchanged looks, before they pushed him from behind. With my head bowed, I hadn't seen them. He stumbled, his hands slipping from around my shoulders and falling to my chest. My cheeks burned red, my eyes widening.

"Hey, don't touch me there!" I cried, throwing him off me and staggering back to the twins. They grinned, taking my arms on either side.

"Red card!" they chorused, as Tamaki clapped a hand over his mouth and stared at me.

"Look's like Tamaki-sempai," said the one on my right.

"Is the real pervert," said the one on my left.


	4. Attack of the Lady Manager

****Instead of a videogame (which I thought was just a tiny bit weird) UkiDoki Memorial is a TV show, which has become popular in France, the main actor of which has striking resemblence to Kyoya. I just thought it was kinda convenient that a fictional videogame character looked _exactly_ like a real person, y'know? Renge is also already aware of Kyoya, from previous business trips by her father to Japan (and the Otori family) so that her connection and 'undying' love for him has more reason. Otherwise it's just "Oh my god, you look exactly like my favourite character, let's get hitched!" (very sorry if I rambled, you can get on with reading it now)**  
**

Chapter 4

Attack of the Lady Manager

"Renge?" the man knocked at the door, his words slanted by a strong French accent. The girl with long, honey-brown hair did not look up from what she was writing. The goldish curls were held back from her face with a thin red ribbon tied in a bow. The light brown eyes flicked from line to line of her looping script across the page of her diary, framed by long curled lashes. Her sweet face was curled in a contented smile, as the pen poured out her dreams to the paper.

"Quel est-il, mon père?" the girl called back, not looking up. Her pen swirled as she drew a succession of loopy hearts, and the door opened.

"Renge?" her father spoke again, stepping into her room. Renge was sitting at the glass table beside the open window, gentle breezes wafting in and gently ruffling her honey hair. She was leaning over her diary, perfectly oblivious to the world beyond the glass. The Eiffel Tower stood, erect and tall, outside, people chattering and laughing. Birds twittered merrily, and you could just hear the street musicians as they sang. "Ah, ma chérie, you really love to write, don't you?"

"Is that so wrong?" Renge replied, not looking up.

"No, not at all, mon enfant," the man said, walking over to the glass table and taking the seat opposite her. Still she continued to write, her honey eyes not straying from the paper. "I'm your father, and I want you to feel free to live your life however you please. You know that I'll let you do anything you like," A butterfly flapped its silken wings, and fluttered onto the rose trellis running up the side of their house. He looked at it, sighing quietly. "You know that I've always promised you that,"

"Oui," Renge said quietly, setting down her pen and flipping her diary shut. "I know, father. I know you love me very much,"

…. ….

"So, father," Renge took a sip of her jasmine tea, the Eiffel Tower outside her window lit up in the dim twilight like a carnival attraction. "How was your business trip to Japan? Did you…meet anyone special?" She smiled slyly, her light brown eyes flicking momentarily to the drawer where she kept her diary hidden.

"Ah, it was wonderful, ma chérie," her father said, pouring himself a cup of tea. "You would have loved it. I went to many beautiful places, and Tokyo was simply magnificent. Though," he smiled, taking a drink of his tea. "Nothing can ever compare to our beautiful Paris," Renge giggled, sipping her tea again. "As you know I met with Mr. Otori to discuss our business, and we went out on more than one occasion with his family,"

"His family?" she repeated, trying hard to suppress her smile. "What were they like?"

"Some of the most agreeable people I have ever met," he replied. "And, now that I think of it, one of his children was about your age,"

"Really?"

"Yes. He has three sons and one daughter," her father said jovially, sitting down and drinking some more tea. "His youngest son is about your age. Kyoya, if I recall his name correctly…" Renge stifled a giggle. "…he - well if I can remember properly - he's seventeen,"

"Seventeen?" Renge repeated, smiling shyly. Her father nodded, leaning back in his chair and smiling too. "Was he…nice?"

"Oh, yes, very pleasant," he said lightly, drinking some more tea. "Tall, good looking sort of boy. Handsomest of his brothers, if I may say so. Very bright as well; he told me he's the manager of some sort of Hosting Society or something,"

"Il semble merveilleux…" Renge sighed, setting down her teacup and gazing wistfully out of the window. "J'adorerais le recontrer..."

"I think I have a photo here, somewhere," her father said, reaching for his pocket. Renge snapped away from the window, her eyes set on the man opposite her. He fished out a square of paper from his pocket, and passed it to his daughter. She all but snatched it from his hand, holding it up to her eyes.

"Kyoya Otori…" she sighed, smiling at the tall boy with black hair and glasses. He smiled back with a crooked, one sided smile. He looked almost mischievous, with a hand in his back pocket and a bit of a slouch, when compared to the rest of his family. The others all stood tall, backs straight with almost businesslike smiles on their faces. Each one had sleek black hair, save for the father, who's head was thinning and tinged with grey. One either side of Kyoya stood two slightly taller young men, wearing clothes that seemed more expensive than the one between them. All the same they're looks were nothing compared to their brother's. "This is him…"

"Hm?"

Renge stood up, a determined glint in her eye.

"Father, this is the boy I am going to marry!" She slammed the photo down on the table, taking her father by surprise. She hurried away from the table to a lavish wardrobe, pulling it open and grabbing armfuls of dresses from the rack.

"Wha—marry?"

"Don't forget you promised I could do whatever I want, father!" Renge cried, bending down and picking up a large red suitcase. She threw in her clothes and turned for a rich vanity table. She pulled all her make-up, perfumes and jewellery from it and put them into the suitcase as well. Her father was in a state of shock, his eyes following her as she darted around the room.

"B-but Renge!"

"Father, can you not see!?" she whined, pulling out her drawer and fishing out her diary. "I'm in love! Do you want me to fall into despair, that I might lose him to another girl!?" She thrust the book at him, and he only had the chance to read '_I dreamed of him again last night! Oh, he's so wonderful! I would do anything to be with you, my beautiful black prince! ¸¸.•´¯` _' before she snapped the book shut and threw it into her suitcase. She slammed down the lid, and reached inside her dress pocket for her phone. She feversihly typed in the number, putting the receiver to her ear. "Jacques, bring the jet to the mansion! I'm going to Japan!"

"Renge, you've never even met—"

"Oh, I can't believe I'm going to finally see my knight in shining armour!"

"Renge, you're fifteen years old!" her father cried, "You can't just go to another country, all by yourself!" Renge pouted moodily, crossing her arms. There was a loud whooshing from above, and her face suddenly lit up. She saw the wing of a plane just above the window, and turned to grab the suitcase from her bed.

"I can and I will," she said, turning back to her father. She planted a quick kiss on his cheek, before hurrying out the door. "Au revoir, father! I'll send you news of our engagement!"

…. ….

"Oh, Tamaki…" Oh no. The sessions started literally thirty seconds ago, and already it's begun. I was two tables away, and I thankfully didn't have customers flocking to me yet. I tried to raise a hand and scratch a niggling itch, but the stupid costume I was wearing was really hard to move it. I didn't see why we couldn't just wear uniform for the Host Club. Today was even worse than Bali. Never mind. It was just another day in another costume.

"Why are you so beautiful?" I could have stuffed my hand in her mouth. Don't _ever_ say the word 'beautiful' in the presence Tamaki Suoh; you'll never hear the end of his long practiced soliloquy of self-devotion. I flicked a look across to him, surrounded by eight girls, all admiring him and his – exceedingly expensive - golden kimono.

"To catch your eye, of course," Tamaki replied, taking a small puff of a kiseru pipe. He blew a fine wisp of smoke in the girl's direction, and it somehow formed the shape of a heart. I didn't even want to know how many times he had practiced that. I now had yet another reason to avoid him; I'd probably get cancer from being too close. "Even if it's for just one second,"

"Why is your voice so very sweet and mellow?"

"To set your nerves at ease," he replied, smiling warmly. I sighed, crossing my legs and looking away, seeing the twins a few tables away. They both wore dark green kimonos, the colour almost matching their eyes. My bamboo sandal tapped against my heel as I drummed my foot up and down. "So that my true feelings might reach your heart,"

"Why are your eyes filled with tears every time you look at me?" Tears? What the hell was she talking about? I looked back at him, and saw for sure that his bright blue eyes were glittering slightly. Um…okay…? Tamaki leaned closer to the girl who had spoken, his cheeks flushing a little pink.

"Because the sight of your beautiful smile…" he whispered, "Causes the fountain of my heart to start overflowing…"

"Oh, Tamaki, you're so poetic…" Well, this was weird. I cricked my neck, looking away again.

"I love the way that you two are wearing matching kimonos," a girl at the twins' table said. I recognized her as the one who had bought the photo books. "Where ever did you get them?"

"Our mother designed everything that the Host Club are wearing today," the twin on the right said. "If there's anything you girls like we'll take an order for you,"

"Our grandmother even helped us put them on," the twin on the left said. His brother smiled slyly, leaning sideways and taking his face in his hands. When he next spoke his voice was hushed, by just loud enough to carry to the three girls around them.

"But you know the only one to help you undress will be me…" His brother's cheeks flushed pink, his eyes glistening. "…Kaoru…"

"Oh, Hikaru…" Kaoru said quietly, pulling slightly away, but not so much that Hikaru's hands left him. I raised my eyebrows, sighing. The whole Twincest act was still a little bit much for me. "You're really embarrassing me, in front of everybody," I saw that Kaoru was crying, and turned away with a louder sigh.

"Well, they're up to that nonsense again," I muttered, setting my eyes ahead. Then I faltered, realizing that four girls had appeared before me. "Oh…hi, girls,"

"Haruhi, you look so cute in your kimono!"

"Almost like a girl!"

"Thanks…" I said, looking down at myself. I had to admit it was a nice costume, if a bit too…eccentric for my taste. It was comfortable, granted, but heavy and kind of difficult to move in. It was lilac, my favourite colour – and so Tamaki simply _had_ to make mine lilac – and decorated with finely sewn white cherry blossoms.

"Haruhi," came a voice beside me. I looked round to see Kyoya at the table beside me, a group of girls just coming over to him. His kimono was dark brown, almost black just like his eyes. He was writing something in his little black book. "You've managed to sign up another four customers. Good job," I smiled meekly, and he closed his book. "In fact, you've had quite a steady flow of customers lately. I'm not going to charge you interest on your debt, like I normally would, so keep this up and you should be able to pay this off,"

"Wow, I'm honoured," I said flatly, turning back to the girls.

"Although the rental fee on that kimono is nothing to sneeze at," he added deviously. He was like some kind of heartless tax collector, always bringing up the subject of money around me. Was he just doing it to be mean, or did he just hate me?

"Hello, Kyoya!" his girls called, and he looked up at them with a smile.

"I can't get over how great you look in a kimono,"

"Are you planning to release any more picture books of the Host Club?" one asked eagerly. It was the girl who had swooned over the twins in the garden. Hikaru and Kaoru were coming over, a little annoyed that the girl had ditched them.

"Unfortunately, we don't have anything planned for the moment," Kyoya replied pleasantly. The twins bent down on either side of him.

"But doesn't the club make its money from the sale of promotional items?" they asked, slightly nervously.

"That's true, but the items are poor quality," Kyoya replied under his breath, only just loud enough for the twins to hear. "Those picture books were filled with nothing more than amateur hidden-camera shots," He pushed his glasses up his nose, frowning slightly. "However, if we wanted to invest in new money making products, I'm afraid we'd have to draw money from the school's budget,"

So maybe he didn't hate me, after all. If it wasn't for Kyoya the Host Club would be rolling in the depths of bankruptcy…no thanks to Tamaki's extremely expensive taste in costumery.

"Haru-chan!" a teary voice wavered, and I looked round. Honey was standing before me, crying openly, with the long sleeves and skirt of his pale pink kimono trailing behind across the floor. One hand was clutching Usa-chan tightly, somehow keeping up the front of his skirt. In the other was a bamboo sandal. "Haru-chan, I don't know how but I lost one of my sandals,"

"But you were just wearing them, weren't you?" I asked, a little exasperatedly, as I rose to my feet and picked him up in my arms. "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find it, Honey," He flung his arms around my neck, and I stumbled slightly.

"Mitskuni," Mori appeared, from practically nowhere. I took a step back in surprise. He was like a ninja; he could just appear anywhere without even the slightest noise. Honey's chin wobbled, tears still welling in his big brown eyes, as Mori reached out a long-fingered hand and pulled the skirt back from one of Honey's legs. He slid a bamboo sandal onto his tiny foot, and Honey's cries faltered.

"Takashi?" he said quietly.

"I noticed that you dropped it," Mori said in his usual monotonous voice.

"Takashi!" Honey cried, letting go of me and flinging his arms around Mori instead, scrabbling at his orange kimono. He hugged him tightly, still crying.

"Oh, they're so cute," the girls cooed.

"Looks like tears are popular today," I sighed, turning to walk on. "How depressing," I looked back over my shoulder at them, frowning a little. "But how are they all able to cry so easily?" I walked straight into someone, and looked round quickly to see one of the twins looking back with his eyebrows raised. "Oh, sorry!" I took a step back, but got my foot caught around the leg of a chair. I slipped backwards, knocking the chair over.

"Haru!" the twin cried, darting out and grabbing my hand. Before he could steady me, however, I had pulled him down with me. There was a loud crash as we hit the floor, the chair skidding away across the tiles with a screech. I groaned as my head smacked the floor, and again as the twin landed directly on top of me. Something was knocked from his sleeve by the fall, and had landed with a quiet tinkle beside us. For a moment we simply stared at each other, our cheeks flushing red.

"Hikaru, what are you doing?" the other twin asked, staring at us. "I thought it was only Tamaki who was into that sort of thing,"

"Kaoru, it's not what it looks like!" Hikaru said quickly, scrambling off me and getting hastily to his feet. "I-I just didn't want to see her—" Kaoru raised his eyebrows warningly. There were still girls hanging by. "Er— Him! I didn't want to see _him_ get hurt," He offered his hand to me, and I took it, getting gingerly to my feet. "Sorry…" he mumbled. The girls all walked off, giggling.

"It's fine, Hikaru," I said, dusting myself off and looking down. "Oh, hey, you dropped this," I said, ducking down and picking up a small bottle. I looked at the label for a moment, before frowning. "What are these?" I asked flatly.

"For your information," Hikaru said, snatching the bottle from my hand. "It's common for a Host to use eye drops,"

"No woman alive can resist a man on the brink of tears," Kaoru said.

"That's cheating," I said shortly. They laughed, putting an arm each on my shoulders. "And besides, it didn't exactly work on me,"

"Oh, don't be such a party pooper," they said with broad grins. "But as to that little detail, well…none of us can really help that you're a hermaphrodite. Guys don't exactly fall instantly in love if another guy is spilling over," They smiled devilishly, leaning in closer to me. "That is, unless you decided to get a little…_curious_, Haruhi,"

"Shut up," I muttered, elbowing them both. "There's no way _either_ of you is getting with me,"

"Hey, hey, hey," Kaoru said, ducking away before I could strike out again. "Don't get so mad at us, or we'll change our minds about giving you this," He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a small glass capsule. I frowned, and he put it into my hand. I looked at it, and couldn't help but smile faintly. It was only a chocolate, but it looked – weird way to describe confectionary – beautiful. It was small, slightly less than two inches in all directions, and decorated with thin edible-gold roses. It was on a soft red base, marzipan leaves and flowers holding it in place. There was even a tiny diamond in the centre of the middle rose.

"You might wanna take that out before you eat it," Hikaru said. I smiled a little wider, my fingers closing around it.

"Really, you guys, this is for me?" I said quietly, and they nodded. "Wow…you guys are amazing. Thanks,"

"Well, aren't you the cutest?" they said, reaching out and hugging me briefly. I laughed, and a small group of girls gathered by.

"I didn't know you liked sweets, Haruhi," one of them said. I shrugged.

"Well, to be honest I don't," I said, "But you know…" I looked at the chocolate again, smiling a little sadly. "My mum always loved them…I think it would be a nice memorial offering for her," The girls exchanged looks, and I could see how sad they found my words. I begged that I didn't see any more tears.

"How admirable of you!" came a voice I wasn't in the mood to hear. Tamaki appeared beside me, his eyes glistening. Begging apparently didn't work in the world of rich people. "Such devotion to your mother's memory. Please…" He reached inside his pocket, pulling out a small handful of the same kind of chocolate and placing them in my hands. "T-take as many as you like,"

"Let me guess, the tears are fake, right?" I asked flatly.

"How could you…?" he whispered, closing my hands around the chocolates and holding them there. He leaned towards me, his blue eyes sparkling. "My tears are always genuine, Haruhi. Being able to cry, without the use of eye drops, is the mark of a true Host," He closed his eyes, the tears falling loose from his abnormally long lashes. He opened them again quickly, smiling. "Tell me, do I impress you?" Impress me? _You_? Don't make me laugh. "Have you fallen for me yet?"

"You wish," I muttered.

"Oh, he does," the twins said under their breath.

"My romantic overtures don't appear to be working on you," Tamaki mumbled with confusion, not having heard the twins. "What kind of a woman _are_ you? No girl has ever taken so long to fall in love with me…"

"Maybe it's because you're so shallow," I replied coldly, thrusting the chocolates at him. "So maybe the next time you want to make a poor girl happy…I wouldn't go regaling handfuls of the world's most expensive sweets to make her feel bad,"

"Wha—" I dropped the chocolates in his open hands, snatching the one I knew was the twins' from the pile. "I upset you?"

"Well noticed," I said, turning away. "You really can be such a jerk someti—" I caught sight of a girl standing, half hidden, behind the door. She was peering out nervously, trying to make sense of what was happening in what she had presumed to be a music room. I knew in an instant she must be new. She was quite small, about my height, with long honey coloured hair and light blue eyes. She caught sight of me looking at her, and shrank back a little. The twins spotted her too.

"Looks like the Host Club has got itself a new customer," they said, pushing past me and Tamaki to get to her first. On their way they plucked a rose each from the vases on the tables, and stopped just before the doors.

"Come on in," Hikaru said, offering forward the rose. "What are you waiting for?"

"Watching from afar is no fun," Kaoru said.

"Please, miss…" they said with a smile.

"Stop that," Tamaki said firmly, pushing them apart and standing before the girl. "How many times do I have to tell you boys to be more courteous to our guests?" Then Casanova Mode activated, as he extended a hand towards the girl. "Please, you don't have to be afraid, my princess," His fingers lightly brushed her cheek, and she shivered, her eyes widening slightly. Tamaki took this to be the way all his followers reacted to his advances. "I welcome you…to the Ouran Host Club…" He winked.

There was silence for a while, as the girl's cheeks glowed pink. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but then closed it again.

"Yes?" Tamaki asked with a gentle laugh.

"NO!" the girl shrieked, raising a hand and punching him in the face. She was strong for someone her size; the blow sent him stumbling backwards and tripping over a chair to the floor.

"Oh, I like her," I said with a grin.

"I hope she's one of our customers," the twins said.

"Don't touch me!" the girl cried, "You're phony!" Tamaki clutched a hand to his face, his eyes wide with shock as they stared at her through trembling fingers.

"What do you mean!?" he whimpered, his face burning red. "What are you even talking about!?"

"Just like I said, you're _phony_!" the girl pointed an angry finger at him, stepping towards him. Her voice had a strong French accent. "I find it hard to believe that someone like _you_ is the 'prince' character of this Host Club!"

"Ouch," The twins were barely suppressing their laughter. "That's gotta sting,"

"You shouldn't just go around, handing out your love so easily as that!" the girl continued. "You're stupid!" He looked like he'd been punched again. "You're a pathetic narcissist!" And again. "You're incompetent!" And again. "You're a commoner!" Another punch. "You're disgusting!" The twins were rocking with laughter now, not even trying to stop themselves. Tamaki had collapsed, staring up at the ceiling in a state of shock and humiliation. The look on his face was a mix between anguish and the desire to sink through the floor and never be seen again. He was crying.

"More genuine tears, then, Tamaki?" I asked. Kyoya had come by to see what all the screaming was about. He looked from the twins, to Tamaki on the floor, then up to the girl. He frowned, cocking his head to one side.

"You look a lot like a man I met about a week ago," he said, tapping his chin thoughtfully. All anger seemed to vanish from the girl's face as she saw him. "I don't suppose that you're—"

"It's _you_!" she cried, running forwards. She didn't even falter as she stepped on Tamaki – a strangled yelp escaping him as her heeled shoes dug into his stomach – before throwing herself forwards and flinging her arms around Kyoya. "Kyoya-sama, I found you at last!"

"—Renge Houshakuji…" he choked, looking down in bewilderment at the girl hugging him. It was obvious that such a thing had never happened to him in his life.

"Oh, I've waited so long to meet you!" the girl, Renge, sighed. "My one and only prince charming…"

There was silence for a while, as Kyoya simply stared down at the girl clinging to his chest. The twins exchanged glances, before leaning towards one another.

"She must be the Princess of Darkness, if she's so in love with _him_," they whispered.

"Excuse me…Renge?" Kyoya said after a while, and the girl looked up, beaming. "May I ask…if you could release me?"

"Of course!" she said, hastily letting go. "Anything for you, my knight in shining armour!"

"Ah…" Kyoya pushed the glasses up his thin nose, an eyebrow slightly raised. "I think we have reached an impasse, there," The girl, Renge, frowned – a little confused. Kyoya sighed, standing away and motioning towards a pair of sofas. "Perhaps you would like a seat? This might take a small while,"

Renge smiled, walking round and sitting delicately down. She crossed her right leg over her left, smiling expectantly at Kyoya. To her disappointment he remained standing, while myself and the others crowded into and around the sofa opposite her. Tamaki, however, walked stiffly away and bent down into his usual position of utmost dejection in the corner.

"Now, Miss Houshakuji—"

"There's no need to be so formal, Kyoya-sama!" Renge giggled, wriggling a little in her seat. "Not you, at least,"

"Oh…well, then, Renge," he continued, "Would you please explain how you've come to us, here at Ouran?" Renge nodded, and proceeded to tell us all her story. I thought it was a little bit extreme, to say the least. She left Paris to come here, and become—

"His fiancée?" the twins asked. "Kyoya-senpai's?" They exchanged astounded looks. "You must be mad to go for that _thing_!" Kyoya was silent, not even bothering to scold them. For once it seemed 'mother' did not have a sarcastic quip to make. I silently admitted that I preferred this strange silence.

"How dare you insult him!" Renge cried, pouting moodily. "But, yes. He's my fiancée, for certain! I came here to spend more time with him, and I will be transferring into first-year Class A tomorrow,"

There was a quiet sniffle, and we all turned round from our various positions to see Tamkai staring disconsolately at the wall. It seemed that the very shadows of the room were all clustered around him in a cloud of depression.

"Why's he suddenly so down?" I whispered to the twins, who looked at one another. "I mean… I beat him up, all the time, and he doesn't get like this straight away," The twins grinned, flicking a look in Kyoya's direction.

"He's just mad, because mommy was hiding something from daddy," they said. Kyoya sighed resignedly.

"Whatever," he muttered, "Are you just trying to make this whole stupid 'married couple' scenario a permanent blot in my life?"

"Maybe…" the twins said with impish grins. Renge had mistaken Kyoya's words to mean her, and had quite forgotten to listen to the end of his predicament once she'd heard the words 'married couple'.

"Oh, I just knew you'd feel the same way!" she giggled, holding the sides of her blushing face as she stared off into the stars. "It is, indeed, love at first sight!" She sighed, closing her eyes and leaning back on the pillows of the sofa as her cheeks flushed pink. "And the way you were adoring those flowers by yourself in the courtyard…it was so romantic, that you could be so quiet! And then when you reached out to that injured little kitty when it was raining, and horribly dark and cold; oh, it was nothing short of beautiful!"

"Which Kyoya Otori are you talking about, here?" the twins asked, frowning. She paused, opening her eyes in confusion. I had to say it was rather strange. Kyoya being as…harsh and, well – evil – as he was, it was difficult to imagine him admiring flowers in a garden, or…taking care of a wounded little kitten?

"C-could you possibly have the wrong person?" I said, and her eyes flicked to me. She scowled, her cheeks flushing angrily.

"Of course not!" she cried, leaping passionately to her feet. "You cant fool _these_ eyes!" Then she looked at Kyoya, and she beamed. His face was as flat and stony as a brick wall, with an expression so emotionless it could have rivalled one of Mori's. "He's someone who is kind to everyone, and yet does not seek to have anyone take notice of him," I raised an eyebrow; that seemed the very opposite of who she was describing. The twins stared at Renge, and then at Kyoya, and then back to Renge. They repeated this every few seconds, as if they were watching some sort of tennis match.

"He loves solitude, but is actually quite lonesome. He's perfect! My one and only true love; with eyes like the stars as they go out, and hair like the night sky! The one who is the star of the famous Japanese romantic-comedy TV series 'Uki-doki Memorial'!" There was a silence, as everyone exchanged looks of utmost confusion – but at the same time we all seemed to understand. She really _was_ mistaken. "Ichijo Miyabi-kun!" Renge pointed a finger directly at Kyoya's face, and he remained strangely calm. "And that's _you_!"

"Uki?" I said. High spirited?

"Doki?" Honey said. Heart-pounding?

Tamaki jumped to his feet, staring at Renge.

"An otaku!" he cried. The twins snapped into shock.

"Otaku!?"

"I've never seen one before!"

Kyoya smiled smugly.

"I see now, miss Houshakuji," he said, sliding his glasses back up his nose. "You're infatuated with a character. And you're projecting the infatuation of said character onto me, going so far as to delude yourself that we are engaged, and shall soon marry," Renge's face fell slightly. Evidently she didn't quite grasp what he was saying. "This 'Miyabi' character probably wears glasses too, unless I'm mistaken?"

"Stop acting as if you didn't know!" Renge whined. "How could you not, when you play hi—"

"She must be really deluded," the twins said loudly, and Renge's head snapped round as she glared at them. They didn't pay much notice to her, instead looking straight at Kyoya. Everyone did; myself, Honey, Mori, and even Tamaki had finally come over. "Then, that story about her being your fiancée…?"

"I don't remember ever acknowledging an engagement to some little French girl, I've never even met," he said simply. Renge looked on the verge of tears.

"B-b-but…Kyoya-sama!" she cried, "I know that it's you! You're the one I'm in love with! I might have a slight infatuation with your character, but that's only because you portray him so beautifully!"

"That's just the thing," Kyoya said coolly. "I've never once thought of pursuing a career in acting. That boy who you've seen in this 'Uki-doki Memorial' isn't me," It looked as though lightning had struck her, squarely in the face.

"What…?"

"Didn't you ever watch the credits?"

"Um…n-no…" she conceded. We all stared at her. Her cheeks flushed, and she glared back. "What!? They're boring! Nobody reads them, anyway!" I rolled my eyes, turning back to look at Kyoya. He was surveying Renge with ever so slight amusement. There was silence for a while, as we all exchanged rather strange looks, broken only by a quiet sniffle from Renge. "Oh...well…Kyoya-sama, I understand that you administer everything about this club?"

"Yeah, Kyo-chan in our director," Honey piped up before he could be shushed.

"The director?" she said, "How perfect! I've always dreamed of being the drawing card for someone's business,"

"We don't need one," the twins said flatly. "We're the Host Club, after all,"

"And anyway, hasn't Kyoya made it kind of obvious that he isn't going to marry you?" I interjected.

"I've made up my mind!" she cried, "I'm going to be the Host Club's manager!" She was clearly not listening. "And, if we're definitely not engaged, perhaps working together so closely might just spark a romance between us!" Renge giggled. "Perhaps he'll fall for me?" Tamaki bent his golden head down beside Kyoya's dark one.

"Hey, mommy? I don't think—"

"She's the daughter of a highly valuable client to the Otori family," Kyoya said. "I simply ask that you be sure not to do anything impolite. And besides," He flashed a slightly mocking smile at Renge. "This might just be an amusing string of events we've just set into motion,"

"Everyone, it's going to be a pleasure," Renge said sweetly, curtseying. And thus, for almost no particular reason, it was the birth of the Host Club's first 'lady manager'.

…. ….

"I thought about it all last night," Tamaki was telling us, as we sat around a table in the music room – Renge was not among us. "And I've come to the conclusion that having a lady manager might not really be all that bad,"

"What makes you say that?" the twins asked, crossing their legs at exactly the same time. Tamaki smiled, flicking a look sideways at me as he took a sip of coffee.

"Don't you see?" he said, putting his cup down with a quiet tinkle on the saucer. "Miss Renge Houshakuji has just transferred into the same class as Haruhi," I frowned, fixing him with a questioning gaze. What was he getting at? "If the two became friends, as girls, it might spark a side of Haruhi to become more like a real girl!" As opposed…to a chocolate girl? I sighed, rolling my eyes. "The uniquely girlish air of tenderness about Renge might stimulate Haruhi's own sense of femininity,"

"Good grief…" I muttered. The twins smirked. Tamaki, however, continued with a new found flair; he seemed to have quite forgotten what had happened when he had last tried to shuffle my gender.

"Men, this is a grand-scale project in order to stir Haruhi up to be more girly!" he said loudly, getting to his feet. He waved his hand in the direction of the twins, "Only having these two, extremely disreputable, twins as close classmates is not good for her!" This wiped the smirks off their faces.

"Oh, that told us!" they jeered, scowling. "Really. We feel so dejected right now, it's untrue,"

"Senpai, would you _please_ stop trying to get me in a dress, already?" I interrupted, as Tamaki made to speak. He paused, looking round at me. I got to my feet, folding my arms. "I've made my point, and it's perfectly clear that I will _not_ go back to being a girl in this school. I'm staying a Host, through and through," He opened his mouth to question me, raising a hand in objection. "No, I'm not going to change my mind!" I interrupted, in a voice of utmost protestation.

"Okay…" he mumbled, hanging his head.

"Way to go, Haru," the twins said, grinning. "Looks like you've got the idiot on hook, line and sinker,"

"Who're you calling idiot!?" Tamaki cried, lunging for them over the table. A stupid move to make, really. I got quickly to my feet, knowing in an instant that something bad was about to happen. Mori scooped up Honey in one of his long arms and pushed him away out of harm's reach. Tamaki tripped as his arms swiped wildly for the twins, and he toppled forwards headfirst into the sofa. The two red-headed devils scooted aside just in time, rolling over the armrests and straightening their blazers as they stood up; laughing as Tamaki wriggled to set himself upright again. He made as if to throttle the closest twin, his face burning red, but then the door opened.

"Hellooo!" Renge's delighted voice called, and she appeared – skipping – through the doorway. There was a large tray held in her hands. She seemed to take no notice of Tamaki, held in a strong headlock by one of the twin's thin, wiry arms. She beamed widely, although we all knew it was mostly directed towards Kyoya. He didn't show any sign of acknowledgement. "Renge, your new manager, has baked you all cupcakes!" I laughed once. 'All'. So that was Kyoya's new name, was it?

Tamaki managed to break loose from the twins, walking over towards Renge.

"Oh, how ladylike!" he cried brightly, shooting an encouraging look towards me. "I'm so moved, aren't you, Haruhi?"

"I didn't bake them for you, you phony prince," Renge said dispassionately. It looked like Tamaki had taken this insult very hard, but he forced himself to remain composed.

"Say, Haruhi!" he said loudly, taking one of the cupcakes from the tray and walking towards me.

"Hey, give that back!"

"Didn't you say once that your mother left you all kinds of recipes when she got sick?" Tamaki continued, choosing not to hear Renge's cry. "You seem to really like cooking! Why don't you and Renge have a chat?" He offered me the cupcake. It was small, round, with a large swirl of white icing on top. "You might even find more things that you have in common!" I saw him cross his fingers, sweeping his hand round behind his back. Wow. Real inconspicuous, senpai…

"No, thanks," I said coldly, taking the cupcake from his hands and shoving it into his face. A small amount of icing dribbled off, falling down and splashing onto my cheek near my eye. I didn't really notice it. "It's evident who she really wants to talk to, and it isn't me," It was true. Even as Tamaki was peeling the squashed remains of the cupcake from his nose Renge was approaching Kyoya in his seat.

"Kyoya-sama, would you like to try one?" she asked hopefully, her cheeks flushing pink. "They're a little bit burnt, but it wasn't really my fault; I've never really cooked before, my servants always did it for me, back home. But it's all the thought that counts!"

"Alright," Kyoya said with a brief smile, taking a cupcake with slight reluctance. Renge sighed happily, setting down the tray and sinking into the seat beside him. She watched him take the first bite, and sighed again. He tried hard to disguise his look of disdain.

"Kyoya-sama…" she breathed.

She didn't take any notice when Honey inched forwards, his big brown eyes filled with delight, and snatched away three cakes. He dove straight into the first one, grinning broadly. He chewed for a few moments, before deciding that he rather didn't like it.

"Watch out, Honey," the twins said, devilish grins coming into play upon their identical features. "That weird taste is probably poison," Mori leapt to his feet, snatching the cakes away from Honey.

"Mitskuni, stop," he said, "They'll be bad for you," Renge slowly looked behind her shoulder at them, staring in silence for a moment. Then she exploded, jumping to her feet and running around the sofa at them. Mori scooped Honey up in his arms and proceeded to run away from Renge, as she chased them around and around the room. Loud noises coming from them were a mingle of cries of rage from Renge, and sobs mixed with giggles from Honey.

"Takashi, she's scaring me!"

"That's not poison, that's cinnamon!" Renge screamed. I stared after them as they circled around the room, not really noticing the twins as they came to stand either side of me. They were grinning, casting an evil glance back at Tamaki; he had crawled away to his corner again, icing still plastered around his mouth and nose.

I bent down and picked up a cupcake, eyeing it for a moment, before I took a slightly tentative bite. I smiled faintly, swallowing after a moment's chewing. There was a small amount of icing around my mouth.

"They're not really that bad," I said, "The cinnamon actually makes them taste quite nice,"

"Really?" one of the twins said, hitching up my hand so that the cake was level with his mouth. "Mind if I partake?" he said softly, opening his mouth and nibbling at the soft sponge, his lips opening and then closing over my fingers as he drew his head away; small flecks of white icing lined his mouth, and he licked them away with his tongue. He grinned at me, flashing a wink. I felt the colour in my cheeks rise slightly, and I suddenly felt distinctly warmer. Tamaki raised his head; his suspicious-father radar must've been flashing, or something.

"Oh, Haruhi, you've got icing on your face," the other twin said, turning my head towards him. He wiped a finger down my cheek, and it came away with a small amount of white smudged across it. He put the finger in his mouth, and drew it out again. "Hm…not half bad," he said with a smile. Then he seemed to notice something in surprise. Then he laughed, "Haru, you've got more! Don't worry…" he lowered his voice, taking hold of my chin gently between his fingers, "I'll get it, for you…" He leaned his head closer, his nose just brushing mine. I flinched, clenching my eyes shut, as I felt his hot tongue across and around my lips. I heard his low chuckle as he pulled back slightly, and I opened my eyes to see his face still close. I raised a hand and touched my lips, feeling the heat burning in my face. The twin winked.

There was silence for a moment.

"I'm going to kill you!" Tamaki roared, leaping to his feet and pelting towards us. The twins leapt back, grinning broadly at the havoc they had created. I shrugged, taking another bite of the cake. I couldn't really be that bothered about it; I'd known that something like this was bound to happen, some time. I felt Tamaki's arms pull tightly around me from behind, gripping me as protectively as a bear, wrenching me so hard away from the twins that I had to cough out what I had just bitten.

"Real classy, Haru," the twins said, eyebrows raised at the half-eaten crumbs on the floor.

"Don't you worry, Haruhi!" Tamaki was whispering feverishly, glowering past me to the twins. "Daddy's going to protect you! I'm not going to let them touc—"

"Y'know, if you'd have just told me," I said to the twins, not really listening to Tamaki's enraged vows of protection. "I could have gotten rid of it, myself,"

"—keep you nice and safe, away from those two little perv—"

"And if you wanted one, they're right down there," This seemed to jar Tamaki's long list of shield issues. He instantly let go of me, his face perfectly shocked. He span me round, taking the sides of my face and all but shouting at me when he next spoke.

"Y-y-your reaction is completely wrong!" I sighed, choosing not to look at him. "This is where you're supposed to refuse them, and keep your innocence safe!"

"Kindly stop sexually harassing me, senpai," I said disinterestedly, looking away. I pushed him aside, crossing my legs as I sat down at the sofa and took a sip of coffee. For a moment Tamaki was dumbfounded, and the twins made hissing sounds as they sucked the air through their teeth.

"Oooh…that's gotta burn," they grinned.

"Harassing you!?" Tamaki exploded, "If _I'm_ harassing you, then these depraved devils are twenty times as guilty!"

"Twenty-_one_ times, actually," the twins said.

"What!?" Tamaki cried, rounding on them.

"You didn't count this one," And the twins pounced on him, throwing him backwards and pinning him to the floor. Then they sat on him, all but squashing the air entirely from his chest. He screamed and clawed at the tiled floor, but the twins ignored him; reaching up for the table they took down their cups of coffee.

"Aargh, police!" Tamaki yelled.

"Not even the police can help you, now,"

Renge was watching the scene from afar, frowning, rubbing her chin with a delicate thumb.

"Clearly, there is much I need to do, as a manager, to resolve all that's going on in this club…" she said quietly to herself.

"Renge-chan! Renge-chan!" she heard a high voice calling. She looked down to see Honey holding up a pink mug with a bunny on it. It was filled with a still, white liquid. Thin wisps of steam rose from it in small coils. "Want some warm milk?" For a moment she was silent, then she turned away.

"Too tepid…" she mumbled.

"Huh?" Honey cocked his little head to one side like a confused puppy.

"You're all too tepid!" she cried, causing tears to well in Honey's eyes. He dropped the mug, spilling milk all over the floor, and flew towards Mori. He jumped into his arms, clinging on tightly like a frightened blonde monkey. The Hosts all fell silent, even Tamaki ceased his frantic scrabbling, each one of us staring at Renge. No girl had ever treated Honey like that. "Except for Kyoya-sama, all of your characters are just plan lacklustre!"

This really struck a chord with them. The twins leapt to their feet, and had barely straightened up before Tamaki had thrown himself upright. Renge pointed a demanding finger at us all.

"All of you so-called Hosts are lacking a real 'dark' side!" she announced, "Girls are vulnerable to handsome young men going through trauma!"

"Haruhi, you didn't tell us that!" the twins said.

"That's because I didn't think it was true!" I hissed by way of reply.

"If you keep carrying on in this ridiculous manner, it'll only be a matter of time before everybody grows tired of it!" Renge continued. "Are you all just _trying _to ruin Kyoya-sama's precious business!?" She didn't wait for a response. "As manager, starting today, I'm changing _all_ of your character backgrounds," Her finger swayed, as her narrowed brown eyes scouted all seven of us. "Starting with…" She span her hand round, until she finally lashed out toward Honey, "…you!"

He cried out in fright, burying his face in Mori's blazer as large tears began to spill down his plump, cherub's cheeks. Renge started walking slowly forwards.

"If all you are is cute, inside and out, then you're just the same as a baby!" she said passionately, "As such, you're new story shall be 'the cute-face, who's actually a thug'!" Her hand darted upwards at Mori, whose usually expressionless face was curved downwards in a scowl. "Morinozuka-senpai, you're the 'childhood-friend flunkie'!"

"She must be clinically insane," the twins muttered to one another. Renge rounded on them.

"The twins will be Ouran's most important players of the school's basketball team," she said, "who are both 'shut up in their own world'!" I couldn't help but let out a muffled snicker, and I hastily tried to hide it as her finger turned on me. "Haruhi-kun, you're an honour student, faced with 'intense bullying issues'!" Wow. I didn't have to change my background at all; thinking back to Ayanokoji. Tamaki seemed to cringe away; he was next, and he knew it. Renge turned on him, but faltered slightly, as if unwilling to say what she was going to. "And Tamaki-san, you are the school idol…esteemed for your…uurgh, _looks, _but actually," Now she was smiling, almost malevolently. "You have a great inferiority complex; the 'lonesome prince'!"

His eyes widened, his mouth dropping slightly open. Kyoya let out a brief, quiet laugh. The role of a 'lonesome prince' with an inferiority complex – of all things – was just something that Tamaki would find impossible, being so narcissistic as he was. Renge turned on Kyoya, visibly brightening.

"Oh, and Kyoya-sama, of course you're perfect!" she giggled, "You just stay your kind, affectionate self,"

"I'm honoured," he said dryly. The twins sank slowly down onto the sofa in silence. They exchanged looks, and I sat down opposite them.

"Fancy swapping roles?" they asked. I raised my eyebrows.

"Puh-lease," I said, "Could you honestly _ever_ see _me_ as a basketball star for Ouran?"

"Probably not," they admitted. Then their blank, shocked faces curled in mischievous grins. "Although we'd love to see you in a tank top and shorts, Haruhi," I opened my mouth to rebuke them, but then we heard a childlike voice coming from close by.

"Takashi?" Honey said, pulling his face away from Mori's blazer, and looking up at him with a quizzical look. "What's a thug?" Mori flashed an almost pleading look at us over his broad shoulder.

"Wow, even Mori-senpai doesn't like this," the twins said. They looked at one another, and nodded. They got to their feet, walking round the sofa and grabbing Kyoya by either arm. Pulling him away from Renge they hissed in his ear, "Kyoya-senpai, you have to do something to stop this!" Kyoya smiled wryly.

"But why?" he said coolly, "His highness seems very up for this,"

"Huh?"

"Over there," Kyoya sighed, jerking his thumb away. The twins looked round.

"Renge-kun…Renge-kun…" Tamaki was saying dramatically, leaning sorrowfully against the wall and covering his eyes with a hand. "Is this…what a lonesome pose would look like?" Renge hurried over, and observed him with interest.

"My, that's pretty good, Tamamki-san," she said, appearing to have let go of her initial dislike of him when she saw him taking his new role so seriously. "You know what? I'm sure it would be even more effective if it were raining!"

"Why don't we just see how all this unfolds, shall we?" Kyoya smirked, walking off. "Something interesting will come of it, I'll bet anything,"

…. ….

Lights illuminated the sports hall from every angle, the sound of cheering and ovation from the crowd seated all around completely drowned out the quick, rhythmic beating of a large basketball as it was bounced along the floor by the thin boy with messy red hair. He swerved round a boy that came towards him, ducking down and slipping by as an arm swiped for him. He leapt up, spinning round and taking the ball in his hands as he gained air. The boy threw the ball upwards, sending it flying up and then falling down through the basket hoop.

A roar of applause thundered throughout the hall, as the boy did a victory lap, waving an arm high in the air as he whooped and laughed. Then he saw something to make him falter. A boy exactly like him was lying, sprawled, on the ground; his teeth were bared in agony, clutching tightly at his knee. He was trembling, silent tears streaming down his face.

His team-mates crowded round him with worried expressions.

"Get a stretcher!" one cried.

"We need to get him to the infirmary, quick!"

The boy threw them aside, pushing frantically to the front.

"Kaoru!" he howled, falling forward to his knees beside him. "Kaoru!_ Kaoru_!" His voice cracked, large tears welling in his eyes. A hand was on his shoulder, and he looked up to see one of his team-mates standing behind him.

"Hikaru-kun, you can't," he said, "You have to get back in the game!"

"Shut up!" Hikaru shouted, wrenching his arm away and glowering up at him.

"H-Hikaru…" he heard a quiet voice, and he looked down at his brother. Kaoru was looking up in earnest, the tears blurring his green eyes. "Hikaru, take it easy. Calm down… You can't go trying to feel my pain…" He weakly raised a hand, cupping Hikaru's face. Hikaru stared at him, his teary eyes wide. "Understand? You're not the one who got hurt," Hikaru was silent for a moment, before the tears spilled down his cheeks.

"I don't care!" he cried, clutching at Kaoru's hand. "It's no use; it hurts! It hurts, Kaoru!" Their team-mates all watched them in silence, however the deafening applause was still continuing; echoing around and around like a storm. "Your pain is my pain… It doesn't matter if no-one else understands…"

"As long as we're both there for each other…" Kaoru said quietly. Hikaru looked at him.

"We can go on living," they said together. Hikaru bent down and tightly hugged his brother. As the sound of clapping and jubilation rumbled inside the academy, outside thunder boomed in a different way entirely. Rain was beating down from the heavens, spattering mud upon the grass, soaking the tall, golden-haired figure through to his skin. Tamaki Suoh turned bitterly away from the window, unable to bear the two brothers embracing so devotedly inside. He buried his hands in his pockets, walking away through the puddles in the darkened grounds. The rain broke over his bowed head, splashing down his sopping collar.

"I envy you two," he said quietly to himself, staring at his scuffed shoes as he walked. "Being able to support each other like that…" He kicked dejectedly at a puddle, sending water spraying up through the air. "It's just something I cannot understand…"

"Suoh-senpai?" a small, almost frightened voice called. He turned his head slowly to see a small figure with brown hair running closer.

"Haruhi-kun…" Tamaki sighed, turning away. I halted beside him, panting breathlessly, my face flushed as the rain pattered against my skin. "Strange to see you here…I'd have thought you'd be watching the game?" When I didn't answer he continued, "Perhaps you've come to alleviate this lonely boy's seclusion?"

"But, Suoh-senpai, you're the academy's idol," I said with surprise. He let out a small laugh, closing his eyes as he meekly bowed his head.

"An idol, am I?" he said quietly, running a hand through his sodden hair. He opened his eyes, squinting upwards into the rain that fell from the large black clouds overhead. I looked at him sadly, but also with awe. He was so different in such silence, such submissiveness. I even liked it… "If people are going to celebrate me over a superficial title like that, then I'm sure I'd be better off alone…"

"What if someone didn't call you that?" I said quietly, extending a hand towards him. "Friendship can only be better than loneliness," He slowly lowered his head, gazing at me through glistening eyes. Whether they were tears or raindrops I could not tell, but I offered my hand still further. He was silent for a moment, before slowly raising his hand towards mine.

"_There_ you are!" I heard a sudden, angry shout. I froze, my eyes widened. My head inched round, and I saw two figures silhouetted against the light flooding out of the open sports hall door. "No wonder we couldn't find you inside," I turned to sprint away, Tamaki's hand closing around thin air. His face fell instantly, his lip trembling as he stared blankly at the spot where I had vanished. A tear trickled down his cheek. He didn't move, even as the two figures approached.

One was abnormally small, about the size of a nine year old child, the other could have been a full grown man. They seemed an odd pair; made all the stranger by the strutting gait of the smaller, and the lanky submission of the other. They paused beside Tamaki, and he looked up. His eyes widened in fear. The smaller one smirked back, throwing the wet blonde hair back from his eyes.

"One injured heart intersects with another," he said coldly, cracking his small knuckles with surprising strength. Tamaki's eyes widened still further. "They pass each other, and wound each other," He gave Tamaki a violent shove, throwing him back and sprawling in the mud. He groaned, rolling aside and spitting dirty water from his mouth. As he sat up, wiping mud from his hair and eyes, he heard the two boys give short, cold laughs. "Enjoy the rain…" the smaller one laughed as he turned in the direction I had left. Then he paused, looking back over his shoulder at Tamaki as he stumbled to his feet. He flashed a mean smile, "… '_Idol_'…"

I was running fast, at least the other side of the academy by now. I kept on stumbling, my legs aching and screaming for me to stop. My chest was pounding, my back hurting. I finally slowed to a halt, exhausted, leaning forward against a tree as I panted breathlessly. My shoulder shuddered, and I coughed. I heard footsteps, and I froze.

"You can't run away any longer," I heard a mean voice say from behind me. I whipped round, my back pressing against the tree. The two figures started walking towards me. My lip trembled, and I sank down to the muddy ground, my legs all but collapsing beneath me. The smaller boy was smirking at me. "You're going to learn what happens when you go against me, Fujioka," The taller put his hand warningly on the other's shoulder, momentarily halting him.

"Don't, Mitskuni," he said in a low voice. "Every time you hurt others, _you're_ the one who ends up being hurt more," Mitskuni pursed his lips angrily, pulling himself away from the other.

"Don't try to give me any advice, Takashi," he said shrewdly, "Do you want me to break your arm, again?" Takashi gave an involuntary twinge with his left arm, turning his body away slightly to protect it. Mitskuni smirked. He continued towards me, and I trembled, pushing myself away from him across the ground. "I hate it when people try to rise above their own station," he muttered, and I felt my back hit a tree. Dead end. He grinned, bending down in front of me. "Honour student you may be…but a dirty little commoner is what you really are," He raised a small fist, drawing it back. I flinched, closing my eyes and clenching my teeth. "This is what you get for—" He faltered, and I opened one eye tentatively. "For…f-for…"

He dropped his fist, instead throwing himself around my shoulders, hugging me tightly with an anguished wail, "Aaaargh I'm sorry Haru-chan! I really can't do this!" he was all but clawing at me, desperate to get across how much he really loved me, and how he would never dream of hitting me. Tears were streaming down his face, his grip tightening as I tried to shush him. "No, Haru-chan! I need to say I'm—"

"CUT!" an infuriated voice screamed. "CUT! _CUT_! **_CUT_**!" There was the sound of a clapperboard, and I clambered to my feet with a heavy sigh, folding my arms around Honey to support his little frame. Renge was striding towards us under a large pink umbrella, stomping through the puddles like a banshee. Her usually sweet face was livid. She was being followed by several men, one holding a large sound-boom, another a film-camera, and the others had clipboards kept dry by large sheets of plastic or umbrellas.

"You there!" Renge advanced on myself and Honey, and she jabbed a finger at him as he cringed away. "Stick to the script!"

"But I—"

"This is the eighteenth time we've done this scene!" Renge cried. She whipped round, pointing a roll of paper – the script – at the man with the camera. "Cameraman, tell the others to take five,"

"Yes, boss," He gave her a thumbs up, and led the others all away. They passed the twins and Kyoya in their seats, wrapped in warm coats and under large umbrellas. Kyoya was writing away at his black book, entirely disinterested in what was going on.

"Why have we suddenly gone from talking about changing our characters into a movie shoot?" one of them asked, watching as I finally managed to dislodge Honey from me and hand him to Mori instead. I walked over to the twins, rolling my shoulders stiffly, and accepted a towel from them.

"I have to say, it's kinda an overblown film crew, huh?" I said with a laugh, towelling my sodden hair as I squeezed under the umbrella beside the twins.

"Apparently she rushed them here from Hollywood," Kyoya said without looking up. "Haven't you seen any of them?"

"I haven't exactly been paying attention," I said, "I've been rather more busy getting pelted with rain, and trying to convince Honey it's okay for him to punch me,"

"Well, that man with the camera in the director of 'Millennial Snow,' the vampire movie. It was the number-one box-office hit across America, last year," Wow. This really _was_ a big deal.

"Still," I said, cricking my neck. "It must be just a small waste of time for them, at the moment,"

"Why do you say that?" the twins asked, flicking through pages of the script.

"Well, we've done this take eighteen times already," I shrugged. "I'm kind of at the stage where I just really want Honey to punch me, so we can move on, y'know? I mean, someone his size won't be able to do much, can he?"

"You'd be surprised," Kyoya said. I frowned at him, a little confused. "Because little Honey, over there, used to be the—"

"Haruhi!" I turned to see Tamaki running towards us, grinning. "Hey, Haruhi!" He slowed to a halt before us, and I handed him a towel. "How was my performance? Oh, thanks!"

"It was awesome," I smiled, moving aside so he could join us under the umbrella. It was still raining heavily, large droplets of rain constantly pattering over our heads. "In one sense of the word. At least…insofar as how you're able to be enraptured by this,"

"I've discovered a whole new aspect of myself," he said brightly, mussing up his hair with the towel. "Maybe it wouldn't be so bad of an idea to go down this road for a little while, huh?" He smiled at me, which I was almost tempted to return. Lonesome and quiet would be a nice change to conceited and insufferable, by any standards. But, when I thought about it, he was still funny and caring, whatever side he expressed; after all, he had helped me find my wallet when I thought I had lost it, he'd helped me survive when I first joined the Host Club, and then he helped Yabu reunite with his daughter. Not many people would go so far to aid someone. I smiled at last.

"Senpai," I said, "I think you're fine just the way you are," He paused, looking down at me. He let the towel drop to his hand, and he stared at me through slightly widened eyes. His mouth was slightly open, his cheeks a little pinker than was normal.

"R-really?" he said, "You think that?" He turned his head sheepishly away. "Hmm…if you say so, then…" But also, giving the matter a little more thought, if Tamaki were to get a 'darker side', he'd just be that much more troublesome.

"Haruhi-kun!" I head Renge call, and I looked round. "You're next scene is about to start!"

"Okay!" I called back, dropping the towel to the twins. "See you guys later," I said as I hurried out through the rain, which seemed to be getting lighter. I saw Renge and he pink umbrella disappear round the side of the building, and ran after her. I turned the corner and looked around.

"Over here!" Renge waved, smiling brightly, holding a clipboard in one hand. There was an assortment of camera crew items leaned against the wall; a sound-boom, some lighting effects, a disused camera. The rain was pattering quite lightly now, no longer the torrential downpour that had caused so many problems earlier.

I started over towards Renge, and then froze. Beside her were two extremely tall, thickly built boys. Their faces looked like they had been in a fair few fights, their hair was messy and lank, uniforms crinkled and dirty. Their arms were extremely large and muscular. I couldn't quite suppress a gulp. "I've asked these two gentlemen to make a special appearance," Renge explained when she caught me staring at them.

"Appearance?"

"What are you talking about?"

"We're going to need some villains for the big climax, after all!" Renge cried passionately, quite ignoring the boys' questioning words and glances. After these words they looked livid. "The jumble of club members unite to battle some true bad guys!" My eyes widened, and I shot a frightened look at the boys. Renge didn't seem to notice, but I could tell that they were pissed. "According to my notes," Renge continued, consulting the clipboard, "while these two may be from a wealthy family, they are actually sons of the Japanese Mafia," They looked extremely uncomfortable, just about ready to strangle her. "These are truly ideal parts for you!"

"What's with you!?"

"Whatever my dad may be, it's got nothing to do with me!"

"Hold on, Renge-chan!" I said quickly, determined to stop this before it got out of hand; or Renge ended up murdered.

"Okay, stand over there, please Haru—"

"Just a minute, here!" I pleaded.

"And now you!" Renge carried on, perfectly oblivious to the fury she had created. She grabbed the closest boy, and began dragging him to the desired position. "I need you to be over here!"

"Renge-chan!"

"You think you can just push _us_ around however you want to?" the boy yelled, wrenching his arm away from her. "Come off it, already!" She backed away, but he had already raised his arm and was swinging it towards her.

"No! Renge-chan!" I cried, ducking beneath his arm and seizing Renge as she fell back in fright. I tripped, stumbling with her clutched tightly in my arms, and toppled backwards against the wall. My back slammed into the extremely painful assortment of objects, knocking them all to the ground with great shattering clatters. The glass in the camera lens smashed. Renge's eyes were clenched tight, but when she didn't feel pain she opened them.

"Huh…?"

"Uurgh…" I mumbled, my grip slackening on her. Renge gasped, pulling away from me and spinning round.

"Haruhi-kun!" she cried, but I slipped and slumped down the wall, my legs splayed painfully across the ground. I clutched at my shoulder, my fingers trembling around a rip in the fabric. The tips felt something hot and thick trickling on them. I pulled my hand away, staring at my bloody fingers with wide eyes. I blinked, and then felt a horrible spasm of pain. I gasped, clenching my eyes shut and falling sideways. "Haruhi-kun, are you okay!?"

"Those boys are right, Renge-chan…" I mumbled weakly, my teeth gritted. I rubbed a hand across my eyes, rolling them upwards as I tried to dislodge something. The boys were standing, catatonic, staring at me. "If you judge people by stereotypes, you won't ever be able to see what's really important,"

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean," Renge whispered fearfully. Running footsteps approached, and Renge looked round.

"Tamaki-sama!" she cried.

"Renge-kun, I thought I heard something. Is everythi—Haruhi!" He saw me sprawled on the ground, and his eyes widened in fright. "What happened? Are you hurt!?" He hurried forwards, throwing aside the broken camera and lights to kneel before me. He put a gentle hand on my arm. I slowly looked up, large tears welling in one of my eyes. It hurt so bad. His eyes widened before narrowing in cold fury.

Leaping to his feet he grabbed the closest boy, and threw him up against the wall. He held him tightly by his throat, glowering at him.

"Which one of you did this?" he hissed.

"W-wait, Suoh!" the other cried, starting forwards. Tamaki shot him a dirty look. "_She's _the one who started giving us a hard time!" He pointed an accusing finger at Renge.

"I don't believe you!" Tamaki muttered. I stumbled to my feet, swaying slightly.

"It's true, senpai," I said, still rubbing at my eye. God, it hurt! "These boys aren't at fault," They all looked at me. Tamaki hastily let go of the boy, who slid down the wall to the ground. He started towards me, and the two boys exchanged glances, before they legged it in the opposite direction. Tamaki stopped just before me, and I was still scratching at my eye. The tears were trickling down my cheek.

"Haruhi…" he whispered, reaching up and gently taking hold of my face. He gazed at me with hurt in his deep blue eyes, his lip trembling. "Haruhi, does it hurt?"

"Yes…" I said quietly, finally dislodging what I had been working at. I held out my finger, a thin clear disk balanced on the end of it. "It was just my contact," I blinked the last of the tears loose from my now slightly blurry eye.

"Huh?" He looked down. "Y-your con…tact?"

"Yeah," I said awkwardly, looking up at him. His face was more surprised than anguished now. "It just sorta slipped out," I smiled. He was silent, dumbfounded. Then the corner of his mouth twitched in a smile. He chuckled, and then laughed, pulling back from me and running a hand through his hair.

"Oh, so that's it!" he laughed, although his cheeks were a little pinker than was normal. "Once you can cry without using eye drops, you're a fully-fledged Host!" I laughed, which seemed to spur him on even more. Renge was at a loss for words, getting to her feet.

"Th…tha…" she mumbled, her eyes wide. She beamed. "Cameraman, did you catch that!?" she screeched.

"Yes, boss!" I saw now that there was a group of seven of the camera-crew nearby, who had been recording everything that had just happened. Renge seemed alight with happiness.

"Except for the contact falling out, that was the ideal last scene!" she said, a passionate glint in her honey-coloured eyes. "All it needs now is for Kyoya-sama to provide some moving narration, and—" There was a loud crashing sound, as a rock was smashed against the camera lens, shattering the glass. We all whirled about, staring, to see Kyoya dropping the rock to the ground. He coolly pushed the glasses up his thin nose.

"No! My camera!"

"K-Kyoya-sama?" Renge whispered, staring at him.

"I'm truly sorry, but I cannot allow there to be any record of a club member engaging in violence," he said without much interest. His eyes became cold as he looked at Renge. "I am extremely displeased at the way you're acting, like such a pest," Renge's mouth hung slightly open, and her eyes glistened. Two small tears trickled down her cheeks.

"Why?" she said weakly. She heaved a great breath, closing her eyes and bearing her teeth. She took a desperate step forwards, clenching her hands over her hear. "Kyoya-sama, why are you doing this to me!? You're supposed to tell me not to worry about it, and then gently pat me on the head!" More tears fell from her eyes. When Kyoya did not respond, she bowed her head and sobbed, "Why would someone as kind and affectionate as you—"

"That's not who Kyoya is," Tamaki said calmly. Renge gasped, opening her teary eyes and turning to stare at him. He said nothing. All eyes were on her. She trembled, before falling forward to her knees. Her heaving cries were the only noise, her cheeks red, her shoulders shaking. I looked at everyone. Nobody really seemed to care that much. I started forward, bending down to kneel before her.

"It doesn't matter, does it?" I said, and she looked up in surprise. "Even if Kyoya-senpai is a little different from what you expected, Renge-chan, I think that watching people, and slowly, little by little, getting to know them, can be fun, too," The twins came round the side of the building, apparently bored of being left alone, followed by Honey and Mori. I smiled at them, and then at Renge. She didn't say anything, looking sadly down at the ground. I laughed, not unkindly. "There's no need to look so down. Come on, Renge-chan, smile for me," She looked up, to see me smiling at her, and she weakly returned it. "You see? Today can be a very good day. And, after all, Renge-chan, you learned something that's very important for you to go on living a happy life," She knelt up, smiling a little more surely. Then she threw her arms around me, knocking me back with a hug.

"Thank you, Haruhi-kun!" she cried. I grunted in pain as my shoulder knocked the ground, but it wasn't so bad. Tamaki smiled. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot about your shoulder!" This wiped the smile from Tamaki's face.

"What!?" He started forwards, all but throwing Renge off me and helping me sit up. He saw the small patch of blood around my ripped shoulder, and his eyes snapped wide. "Haruhi, we have to get you to the infirmary!"

"No, we don't," I said, pushing him off me as I got to my feet.

"How can you take an injury so lightly?" he stressed.

"Because I'm pretty sure it isn't fatal," I replied flatly, rolling my shoulder as I started walking off toward the twins to leave.

"How can you be certain?" Tamaki wouldn't shut up, following me closely as if I would get delirium and fall over. "I just want to make sure you're alright!"

"I'll be fine," I sighed, raising my eyebrows at the twins as they fell into step behind me. "I'll just wash it up, and put a plaster on it, or something,"

"Need us to help you wash?" the twins said slyly. I rolled my eyes, and Tamaki knocked their heads together.

... ….

Several days later the music room was packed with girls, all gossiping and giggling with one another. Most were crowded around the table and sofas that we were occupying, beaming at us.

"I bought that video!"

"Me too!"

"Me too!" We all stared at them, except Kyoya; he was busy scribbling away at his little black book.

"That scene in the rain was the greatest!"

"The lonesome prince! So romantic!"

"The deep relationship between Hikaru-sama and Kaoru-sama! It was just too much!" The twins exchanged glances.

"I want to see Honey-kun acting like a thug again!"

"And Haruhi-kun's poignant expressions!" We all stared at them, unsure of what to say, before we all turned in our seats to glare at Kyoya.

"Mori-kun was definitely some kind of masochist, huh?" Mori bridled a little, and I noticed his hands clench uncomfortably. I couldn't help but laugh. He shot me a silencing look.

"Takashi?" Honey said, looking up at Mori. He grimaced, already knowing what was coming next. "What's a maso—" Tamaki clicked his fingers angrily.

"Kyoya…"

"I may have broken the lens," Kyoya said coolly, not looking up from his notes, "but, naturally, the footage that was already shot still remains. Of course, that one scene of violence is cut out. Sales have been pretty fair," He smiled, turning his head to look at us. "That first-rate Hollywood staff did as good a job as you'd expect,"

"Is this what you meant by 'interesting'?" the twins demanded.

"It's best to have as much as we can in the club budget, right?"

At what point did this guy even start calculating all of this? Footsteps sounded, and we looked round.

"Huh? Renge-kun?" Tamaki said, getting to his feet. "I thought you went home to France?"

"I was going to," she said, "But then I realised something," She looked at me and smiled. "Your kindness earlier, when you risked your life to protect me, and your deep love, for giving those, at times, stern admonitions," She walked quickly over to me, taking my hand and holding it tightly. She pulled me away from the others, smiling. "That is what you meant by watching people, and falling in love with them right, Haruhi-kun?" Tamaki froze, his eyes widening. The twins' mouths dropped open.

"Y-yes…?" I said uncertainly.

"Wonderful!" Renge cried, pulling me by the hand towards the door. "Let's go to my house together! You have to find out more about me, too,"

"Huh?" I said, looking back over my shoulder as I was dragged away. I wondered whether I should cry out for help.

"Kyoya-senpai?" said one twin.

"Are you sure this is okay?" said the other.

"Why wouldn't it be?" he said coolly, "She's not wrong in what she's saying,"

"It most certainly is _not_ okay, momma!" Tamaki all but bellowed. The twins flinched, hiding behind Kyoya, who barely even reacted.

"They're both becoming friends with each other as girls, just like you wanted," he smiled.

"But they're _not _both being girls!" Tamaki retorted, starting after myself and Renge. "And I think Renge-kun has a lot more than friendship on her mind!"

"Come on, Haruhi-kun!" Renge giggled, skipping out the door, dragging me in her wake.

"Wait! Don't take my little Haru away!" Tamaki cried, just as the door slammed shut in his face. He ran straight into it, bashing his head and slumping backward to the floor.

"How effective," the twins smirked.


	5. The Twins Fight!

****Aaaaand cue HikaHaru! The shipping starts now, everyone!****

Chapter 5

The Twins Fight!

"Do you remember the first time we played that game?" two voices sparked the memory. The bell of the clock tower chiming slowly, rhythmically; snow falling through the greyish air with silent grace. "It was so long ago…" Small children running through the thick blankets of white in the playground, screaming and giggling with delight. Snowmen were raised every now and then, smiling with broad grins of pebbles and twigs; their spindly branch arms waving to one another, an occasional scarf wrapped around their chilly necks by a thoughtful child.

Two boys, identical to the last freckle on their pale faces, sat alone on a bench as they watched without emotion as a snowball whizzed past them, chased and dodged by a group of their peers. They blinked at the same time, the lids of their dark green eyes slowly closing and then opening. A shriek of laughter echoed through the group, and the two boys slightly tightened their grip of the other's gloved hand. Together they surveyed the children without interest, almost glowering down upon them as if they lacked importance.

A cute girl, with large sparkling eyes and long straight hair, was giggling as she clambered to her feet not too far away. She turned, brushing snow from her coat, and inspected her snow angel with glee. The two matching boys watched her with slight disdain. She caught the feeling that she was being watched, and turned her cold-pinched face to look at them. Her smile widened slightly, her nose and cheeks flushed with the winter's chill.

"Hi!" she called, turning and skipping over to them; her feet skidded as she trod on some ice beneath the snow, and the slipped down into a kneeling heap before the two boys. She giggled, not hurt at all, and looked up at them; they looked back without feeling. "Do you want to build a snowman with me?"

"Which one of us are you talking to?" the boy on the right said. The girl beamed up from the ground, giggling again.

"To both of you, silly!" she laughed.

"There's nobody here named 'Both Ofyou'," the boy on the left said. She giggled.

"Okay," she said brightly. Still the boys did not convey any sentiment. "Then, I'm talking to Hikaru and Kaoru,"

"Oh, really?" they said together. She nodded once, still beaming. "Then, which of us is Kaoru and which of us is Hikaru?" At this the girl's face slipped slightly into worry. "Can you tell?"

"Um…" Her large eyes flicked from one face to the other. They were identical, not a single visible way to tell them apart. "Um…er…I-I-I…"

"Let's all play the 'Which one is Hikaru?' Game!" two voices cried, nine years later. The group of girls giggled, clapping enthusiastically. The Host Club was open for business, and today the twins seemed to have a lot of customers. "So?" they winked, straightening the caps on their heads; making sure that their differently-parted fringes were covered. "Can you tell which one of us is Hikaru?"

"Well, it's hard to say!"

"You're identical!"

The twins laughed, waggling their fingers disapprovingly.

"Many ladies have tried to tell us apart, but so far none have succeeded," they said smugly. I walked by, holding a tray of tea that I was taking to my customers. They waved at me. "Haruhi! You should come play the 'Which one is Hikaru?' Game!"

"Ppfth," I rolled my eyes, continuing past them. "That's the dumbest game I've ever heard of," They looked outraged.

"Got a problem with it, Haruhi?" they demanded, staring after me. I stopped, looking back over my shoulder at them.

"Well, not really," I admitted, "I just don't understand why the two of you are so popular," They scowled.

"That's not very nice," they said, flinging the caps from their heads and walking over to me. They leant an arm each on my shoulders.

"I'm disappointed," said the one on my right.

"Apparently you don't understand the merits of having a pair of twins in the Host Club," said the one on my left.

"Listen up," the other said, putting a hand beneath my chin and directing my head to look at him. "Having a pair of good-looking guys with homosexual tendencies wins points," Good-looking? _Really_? Don't flatter yourselves in ways that aren't even true. "It also helps that the two struggle between their romantic attraction and friendship,"

"And in our case," the second said, bringing my head round to face him in turn. "Because we're twins our 'sexual' relationship is taboo, but at the same time far more intriguing," I opened my mouth to speak, but they took the tray from my hands and set it down. Before I could object one held me from behind, the other from the front.

"And besides," the first twin's voice was hushed, his chin resting on my shoulder, our arms twisting around the other's. "Who hasn't fantasized about twins? Having two lovers is better than one, right?"

"It's every woman's romantic fantasy," the other whispered, playing with my tie and pulling me closer to him. His long, thin fingers fiddled with my blazer, playing with the top button of my shirt so that it popped open. I felt my cheeks flush, heat rising inside me.

"I-I-I…" The one behind me was pressing his cheek against mine, and I felt his hands around my waist, slipping slowly down my body. "S-stop it!" I hissed, but they laughed. A small gaggle of girls was close by, feverishly whispering to one another.

"Is Haruhi part of their act, now?"

"I'd love to see that! Just look at his look of innocence, it's so cute!"

"_Get off_!"

"We'll stop if you can tell which one is Hikaru," they chuckled, hugging me closer. The girls screamed with delight, one actually falling backwards into a chair with her arm resting over her eyes. Footsteps came thundering towards us, and I craned my neck in time to see Tamaki sprinting towards us with Kyoya's compact laptop clutched in one of his hands.

"Oh…" the one behind me said, letting go with a devilish grin.

"He found them, didn't he?" the one before me said, smirking as he stepped away. Tamaki skidded to a halt before us, his face burning red with rage.

"Found what?" I asked.

"Hikaru! Kaoru!" Tamaki bellowed. The twins didn't respond, acting as though they were innocent. Fat chance. If the Hitatchin twins were innocent of anything, then the world would have turned upside down. This seemed to aggravate Tamaki still further. He strode up to them, his face inches from theirs. "When I gave you control of the club's website, I did so on one condition; that you take it seriously!"

"We take our job _very_ seriously, Boss," said the one on the right.

"In fact, last night, we worked on it 'til dawn," said the one on the left. Tamaki's lips pursed furiously, and he almost ripped off the laptop's cover with the force with which he pulled it upwards.

"Is _this _what you worked so hard on to create!?" he cried, thrusting it at them. My eyes widened as far as they could go when I saw it. I pushed the twins aside, simply staring at the screen. It was a picture of me, standing with my back towards the world, without a shirt… In fact, I was positively naked.

"Oh my god…" I breathed, my eye twitching. The twins slapped one another's hand above my head, and grinned at me. Even as a hoard of girls rushed past to see the picture I felt as though I couldn't move. My entire body was made of furious, completely shocked lead. One of the girl's seized the laptop, and Tamaki hurried round them to get to the twins. He grabbed each by the scruff of the neck, glowering at them.

"Tell me when!" he roared.

"Huh?"

Tamaki exploded.

"**_When did you take nude pictures of my little girl!?_**" The twins winced painfully as Tamaki twisted their hair around his fingers. "How much did you see, you little paedophiles!? Did you force the clothes off her like a pair of obscene animals!? I'll bet anything that you did! When I'm finished with you you'll nev—" He faltered, a sudden horrible image flashing across his mind. He looked at me, still in my state of frozen shock. "**_You bribed her, didn't you!?_**"

"You're imagining things," the twins said, trying to squirm free. "It's obvious the photo's been altered!" Tamaki froze, letting go of the twins. They leapt away from him, massaging their throbbing heads.

"You mean…it was photoshopped…" he whispered tremulously.

"We did a pretty good job, huh?"

"This sort of thing takes some major photoshopping talent,"

"You idiots!" Tamaki yelled, scowling at the two of them and wringing his hands together in the air as if he was throttling a ghost. "That's a waste of your skills! Have you no shame!?" They shrugged.

"Not really," they said, grinning. Tamaki was silent for a minute, simply fuming. Then he seemed to soften, an idea sparked in his – almost empty – head.

"But if you're going to do it anyway," he said quietly, the words spilling out, "Can you photoshop her into a dress?" The twins raised their eyebrows. "Please?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Boss," they said. Then they looked at me, and grinned. I was still the empty husk of a person scared to death. I was even wondering if I'd had a heart attack… "Why don't you just…" The twins looked back at Tamaki. "…ask her if she'd wear a dress?" This sparked something in Tamaki's, somewhat limited, brain.

"I never thought to ask her," he said, more to himself than to the twins. He hurried over to the store room, and pulled a dress from the closest rack. Yes, for whatever reason, there were dresses in there…

"Bet you she doesn't take it," one twin whispered.

"You're on," said the other. Walking towards me, still comatose, Tamaki cleared his throat and held up the dress. "What do you think of this, my dear?" he said in his smoothest voice. Honey came skipping by, tightly holding Mori's hand, but the two faltered as he saw Tamaki standing behind me, the floral piece of pale pink material clutched in his hands.

"What are you doing with that dress?" Honey asked curiously. Mori's usually straight face was curled in a faint smile.

"He looks so handsome!" one of the girls around the laptop said. Her friend took it and held it closer for a better look.

"Yeah, he does," she said, before looking over her shoulder to Tamaki; the dress held up to me. She let out a giggle. "But I have to agree with Tamaki, I'd love to see what Haruhi would look like in girl's clothes!"

"Oh, he's so cute, I'm sure he'd look go no matter what he was wearing," I caught on to the conversation, and pulled myself out of my state of shock. I turned my head slightly, and, sure enough, Tamaki was holding up a silk dress for me to wear. I sighed, bowing my head, before turning on him. With one look he got the idea that that dress was a definite 'NO'. With flashing lights. Written in neon. A great, luminous sign pointing towards him as he backed away.

The twins were suppressing laughter, and I looked over to them.

"You, too," I said flatly, and they fell silent. "Cut it out, okay? No more making weird pictures of me, you got that? Just what the hell do you guys take me for, anyway?" They laughed, exchanging glances. Looking at me, they smirked.

"Isn't that obvious?" they grinned. "You're our toy," I grunted in disgust, and also disbelief, that they would think of me like that. I scowled, primly taking the tray back in my hands and turning to walk away. They started after me, walking on either side with slightly mocking expressions. "As we were saying, before you so rudely walked away," Oh, so _I _was the one being rude? Jackasses… "In order to entertain oneself, in this otherwise boring life, everyone must find themselves stimulating toys," They grinned at me, pinching my cheeks so my lips parted like a disgruntled fish. I elbowed them off, scowling.

"I am **_not_**your toy, okay!?" I said angrily. They laughed.

"You want a toy?" came a low, mysteriously warbling voice from the door. The twins fell silent, and all three of us looked round. "Toys… Toys…" Standing in a crack in the doorway was a thin, lanky boy, wearing a thick black cloak that covered him from head to foot. His face was pallid, his eyes covered by a lanky black fringe of greasy hair. He was holding a lit three-pronged candlestick, even though it was quite light. "If you like toys then you should come and visit my Black Magic Club…"

"Huh?"

"We've opened a marketplace that boats Black Magic items from across the globe," the boy continued, his voice carrying to where Tamaki stood. His back stiffened, and he turned a terrified head to look at the door. "We're also holding Mass around the clock. If you visit right now I'll even throw in a free curse doll," The boy raised his other hand, revealing what looked like a cat-shaped hand puppet. Was _that_ thing meant to be a…curse doll? "You can have Belzenef as a free gift," The cat's two front paws tapped against one another expectantly. I leaned my head toward one of the twins.

"Why is he talking to us through a crack in the door?" I asked uncertainly. Kyoya, who had been walking past with his thin nose buried in his black book, paused.

"Nekozawa-senpai likes to hide," he said, scribbling an unseen note in his book. "He doesn't care much for brightly lit places," So, why the candles? I thought to myself.

"Don't get involved with that guy, Haruhi," a low voice whispered behind me, and I jumped, almost dropping the tray as I felt Tamaki's hands on my shoulders. The twins shook their heads, tutting.

"And he calls _us_ gropy pervs…" they muttered.

"If you do," Tamaki continued in a frantic voice, "You'll end up being cursed!" I sighed, my initial fears vanishing.

"Do you have any basis for that?" I said flatly. Tamaki gravely nodded his head.

"Yes!" he said darkly, his fingers squirming with wrath. It felt like an enraged group of caterpillars trying to eat my shoulders. "It happened during final exams in the last school year! It's terrifying just to talk about it…" Oh, Lord. Knowing Tamaki it was probably a spider. "I was walking down the corridor, perfectly innocent of everything, but then it all changed! On that fateful day I was waving good morning to a group of girls, and all of a sudden I accidentally stepped on that weirdo Nekozawa's accursed doll Belzenef!" How _horrifying_! "Afterward the entire test was written in a strange language that I couldn't understand, with lettering that didn't seem to be the right way up; whichever way I titled the paper! I looked for help from the others around me, but then realized I knew none of them!"

I was simply _quaking_ with terror… Tamaki's hands clenched convulsively, before letting go and clutching the sides of his head. "I was all alone in a different dimension!" Kyoya rolled his eyes, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"That only happened because you're a superstitious idiot," he said coolly, and Tamaki shot an insubordinate look at him. "You got so scared that you walked straight into the wrong classroom, and took the exam for ancient Greek,"

"No, it wasn't; it was a curse!" Tamaki cried feverishly. Kyoya didn't look at him, simply writing in his book. "I know that for a fact, because three days later I woke up and my legs were as heavy as lead! How do you explain _that_!?"

"Tsh," Kyoya tutted disinterestedly, "Your legs felt heavy because you ran a marathon the day before, do you recall?" Tamaki opened his mouth to speak, but Nekozawa had crept silently into the room towards them. Tamaki shrieked like a little girl, cowering behind Kyoya - who gave a resigned sigh.

"Do not underestimate the dark powers of Belzenef, the curse doll!" Nekozawa said forebodingly, a smile tweaking his thin lips. "All you have to do is write the name of someone you hate on his back…" The twins were watching him with amusement, but also interest. "…and that person will be certain to meet with misfortune,"

"Wow, this guy really is dark," the right twin said. "In more ways than one,"

"Supposedly he hates bright lights," the left twin said. He reached inside his pocket, drawing out a small flashlight. "I wonder what he'll think of this," He clicked the light on, then off. Then he pointed it at the back of Nekozawa's hooded head. "Hey, Nekozawa-senpai!" he called. The thin, cloaked figure turned, just as the light clicked on.

"Aaaargh!" the hooded boy screamed, throwing himself out of the light and dashing towards the door, with his arms flailing like a drunken banshee. "You murderers!" The twins shrugged, exchanging dissatisfied glances.

"That wasn't half as fun as I expected," they said.

"How on Earth could you do such a thing!?" Tamaki cried, still cringing away behind Kyoya. "You obviously don't know the terrors of Black Magic!" The twins didn't reply, turning their back on him. They started walking away. Tamaki stared after them, dumbfounded.

"Uurgh, I'm so bored," said the right twin.

"Me too," said the left twin. "Isn't there anything fun we can do round here?" They walked past me, and as they did so, faltered.

"Hey, Haruhi!" they said, and I looked round. "We've got a favour to ask you," I raised my eyebrows.

"What is it?" I said hesitantly.

"The next time we get a day off can we come to your place, to hang out?" they asked. Tamaki's ears pricked up, and he slowly tilted his head to look at us.

"Why would you wanna do that—"

"We're curious," they said, almost as soon as I had finished my sentence. Before it, in fact. "We want to see where you live,"

"No way," I said flatly, turning away.

"Aww, pretty please?"

"Nope," Their faces drooped in mock sadness. "No way; you guys are just going to make fun of me,"

"No matter how much we beg you?"

"Not even if you strung yourselves upside down from the top of the building,"

"I too have been thinking that it is about time that I paid my respects to the family of our beloved Haruhi," Tamaki said dramatically, holding out a rose; snatched from one of the nearby vases.

"No way in hell, senpai," I said resolutely. "But, now that I think of it, would you mind stringing yourself up from the rooftops for the sake of it?" The twins laughed. Tamaki opened his mouth, faltered, and then sunk to the ground and shuffled away to the Corner of Rejection.

"How about we settle this with a game?" the twins suggested, reaching inside their pockets and drawing out their caps. "If you can't pick out which one of us is Hikaru," They straightened the caps upon their heads, tucking stray pieces of messy orange hair underneath it. "Then the penalty will be the two of us coming over to your house, later tonight," I sighed, rolling my eyes. "We'll take your silence to mean 'yes'. Now, turn away so you can't see us moving!"

I obliged with another bored sigh, turning away. I saw a group of girls coming over, no doubt to watch me play with the twins.

"Okay!" the two voices sounded, and I turned back to face them. They were grinning. "Which one is Hika—" I pointed a finger at the left twin, not even waiting for them to finish.

"This one's Kaoru," I said, and moved my finger to the other. "This one's Hikaru," There was an intake of breath behind me from the girls; no-one had yet been that fast to decide.

"Uh oh, you got it wrong!" the twins chorused, grinning at me. For a moment I was startled, but then I smiled.

"No, I know I'm right," I said, which silenced them. "You guys may look alike, but that doesn't mean you're the same person, right?" They stared at me, wide-eyed and speechless. "You're actually very different,"

"Wow! How did you do that, Haruhi?" one of the girls behind me asked, and I turned to face them. "Whenever they wear those hats, to cover which way they part their hair, it's practically impossible to tell them apart!" The twins still stared at me. I shrugged.

"Intuition," I said truthfully. "It's kind of difficult to explain, but… Having been in the Host Club, this far, and having every class with them has brought me closer to them than anybody else in my life so far. But…how do I put it…?" The twins were watching me intently. "Well, Hikaru is generally always on the right, and Kaoru is always on the left. You guys just pulled a double-bluff, because I didn't hear you move at all; you just counted on me guessing. Whenever they're not speaking together, Hikaru takes the lead, so Kaoru always speaks second. And also, Hikaru's language and actions are that much more vindictive; making him seem more mischievous than Kaoru," The girls beamed, walking away and whispering to one another about me.

There was silence, as the twins simply stared at me. Then the left one started to laugh. His brother glared at him, and he hastily tried to hide it.

"I'm s-sorry Hikaru!" he said, muffling his laughter with his hand. I turned to look at them. "I d-don't mean to laugh!" But it was hard for him to stop, and he doubled up. Hikaru stuck his nose in the air, ignoring Kaoru's laughter.

"Well, I don't see what's so funny," he said, "I'm honest, I speak my mind, and I don't hold back. It's sneaky people like Kaoru who are the _real _troublemakers!" This silenced Kaoru, who snapped upright.

"Don't turn this on _me_, Hikaru," he said coldly, drawing himself up to his full height. "After all, I'm the one who's always going along with your selfish games,"

"I may suggest them, but _you're_ the one who really gets into them, Kaoru," Hikaru replied.

"Oh, so I'm the one who gets into them, am I?" Kaoru flared. "Well, you were the one who was pretty much snogging Haruhi when you were getting rid of that icing!" I stared at him. "Took it a bit far, didn't you?"

"If you hate our plans so much, then why don't you just quit?" Hikaru retorted.

"Because I'd _hate _to see you make an ass of yourself, in front of everyone. It was your idea to call Haruhi our toy, but I noticed that you're always faster than me to make a pass at her," Kaoru said. Hikaru bristled. "Admit it, Hikaru; you're actually in love with Haruhi, aren't you?" My eyes widened, and they flicked to Hikaru in time to see his mouth drop open in horror.

"What!?" Tamaki cried, leaping to his feet.

"Y-you've got it all wrong, Kaoru!" Hikaru spluttered, turning his back furiously on his brother. "Man, you're such a fucking idiot!" Kaoru's mouth dropped open in outrage.

"I-I'm the idiot!?" he shouted, his fists clenching. "Well, at least I didn't fall for _her_!" He jerked his thumb in my direction, and I took a shocked step back. "I mean, she looks just like a dude!"

"How dare you call Haruhi the 'D' word!?" Tamaki ran over, throwing his arms around me and wrenching me away from him. My lip was trembling, my eyes glittering as I stared at the twins. "You're going to pay for this!"

"Wow, Hikaru! Nice choice! You really must be gay!" Kaoru sneered. Before Hikaru could open his mouth to object, a voice spoke from what seemed to be beneath the floor.

"Oh, this is just perfect!" We all looked around, staring at our feet. There was a loud mechanical cranking, whirring, as if a powerful motor was being powered up. Somehow the floor between the twins opened by a crack, and they leapt aside – away from one another – as the gap slowly widened as a podium came rising out of a dark room. Seated upon it, as it span round, was Renge. We all simply stared at her, the entire faculty gathering around the watch as she continued to speak.

"Our beloved Haruhi is caught up in the beautiful, and yet four-sided romantic relationship affair! And, to make it even more exciting, two of Haruhi's admirers are twins; torn apart by love!" She sighed, her voice growing in volume and excitement as the podium cracked to a halt. She span round, addressing the entire room. "Just the thought of it is enough to make me faint!"

"Butt out, otaku," the twins said, and shot furious looks at one another from across the room; as if mortally offended they had spoken at the same time.

"You guys are meanies!" Renge whined, "You shouldn't say something like that to your manager!" Tamaki let go of me, his mouth hanging slightly open, and stepped up to the podium to speak directly to Renge on top of it.

"But, Renge," he said, and she looked at him. "I thought you had feelings for Haruhi, as well?" Her cheeks flushed pink.

"Oh, I do!" she said brightly, "But I have no problem with Haruhi having homosexual relations on the side," Tamaki's face fell, and he laughed nervously. I walked up to stand beside him.

"I'm confused, Renge-chan," I said, and she beamed as she saw me. "I thought that you decided to go back home to France, after we hung out together?"

"Well, I was going to start up a Host Club of my own," she explained, "But I don't think France is ready for a Host Club, just yet,"

"Cut it out, already!" I heard Hikaru shout, and we looked round to see the twins directly before one another, glowering, jaws and fists clenched. "You're the one who's always crawling into my bed, like some little kid! Talk about annoying!" Every eye was watching them, even Kyoya had closed his book to stare.

"I only do that because you always look so friendless, you hermit!" Kaoru retorted, "I don't exactly choose to sleep in your bed, like some sort of boyfriend! I do it out of pity, you idiot!"

"Who are you calling an idiot!?" Hikaru demanded, "You're the one who sucks at math!"

"Oh, yeah!?" Kaoru snarled, "Well, y-you're failing your foreign language class!"

"Uurgh! The way you grind your teeth is deafening!"

"At least I don't toss and turn so much that I fall out of bed!"

"Sex pixie!" Hikaru snatched up Kaoru's blazer.

"Sicko!" Kaoru grabbed Hikaru around the neck.

"Pervert!"

"Paedophile!" They glowered at one another, fuming.

"_Your mother wears too much make-up!_" they roared into one another's faces. This angered them even more; anything they used to do as twins was now a curse. They began hitting one another, clawing and scratching at every inch of body they could reach.

"Boys!" I shouted, running forwards and grabbing at them to break them apart. "Boys, stop it!" Kaoru threw me off, and I fell backwards to the floor with a painful clatter; I had tripped against a table, and had pulled it and its contents to the ground. Hikaru's eyes burned with rage, and heaved Kaoru up against the wall, pinning him there by his throat.

"That's **_it_**! We're over!" he bellowed. There was silence, where Tamaki hurried forwards and helped me to my feet with the tinkling of broken china; stepping on shattered vase and trampled roses. The twins were panting, shaking with rage.

"Haruhi…" Tamaki whispered, hugging me tightly. No response. "Haruhi, it's okay…" I didn't shake him off, instead clutching at his arms in shock. I was staring at the twins, trembling. My jaw was clenched, my eyes pricking with salty tears, as Kaoru glared at me. Hikaru's ruffled head slowly turned, and his dark green eyes locked with mine. For some inexplicable reason my face flushed, my heartbeat quickening slightly. And the tears fell, unable to be contained anymore.

"Hikaru…" I breathed. For a moment he stared at me, before he shook his head and let go of Kaoru. Before anyone could speak or move he turned and dashed from the room, crying.

…. ….

The next day the classroom was buzzing with gossip; the Hitatchin twins had broken up. I was being constantly pestered by people who wanted to know why, and it was giving me an immense headache.

"Look, I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times!" I said irritably, as yet another group of people stood around my desk. "I hardly know what happened! It just sparked for no reason!" They scowled, turning away dissatisfied. I sighed, rubbing my temple as I pulled the books from my bag.

"Hey, Haruhi," came a voice from the door. I looked round, as did everybody else. What I saw made my mouth drop slightly open. "Good morning,"

"H-Hikaru?" I said uncertainly, my eyes fixed upon his head, as he walked forwards to take his seat beside me. "What in the world happened to your hair? Why is it…" He laughed, ruffling a hand through his shock of bubblegum pink hair. It looked like a giant ball of candyfloss had been glued to his head, or perhaps a flamingo had fallen asleep on top of it?

"'Cause pink suits me," he said carelessly, "Don't you think it's cute?" I didn't reply, my mouth jam-packed with mindless questions. "From now on I'm the pink-haired twin," Footsteps could just be heard from the corridor, but nobody paid attention; Hikaru was the most eye-catching thing in the room. "I don't want to be mistaken for that dumbass Kaoru for the rest of my life, y'know?" He laughed, but then faltered as a boy came to stand beside him. My eyes flicked to him. It was an opposite as I had never seen one before.

"Good morning, Haruhi," Kaoru said. Hikaru stamped on his foot, and he winced.

"Kaoru, you're the blue twin?" I said weakly, staring at him as he walked by to his seat on the other side of me.

"Mm…yeah," he said coolly, mussing up his electric blue hair at the back. It was like someone had dunked his head in a pot of paint. He sighed, almost contentedly. "I was finally able to sleep peacefully, _all by myself_, last night," He laughed. "But then I ended up having a nightmare," He pulled out his chair, setting down his bag on the desk. "It was the worst thing ever; my stylist dyed my hair _pink_!" He laughed, and Hikaru stiffened in his chair. "Can you even imagine how stupid that would look, Haruhi? It was so garish and ridiculous-looking I woke up screaming!" He began to sit down, laughing.

Hikaru kicked out, sending Kaoru's chair skidding across the floor so that his brother slipped and fell to the ground in a heap. With a self-satisfied smile Hikaru straightened up and made as if nothing had happened. I stared down at Kaoru on the floor, and he got to his feet with as much silent dignity as he could muster. He looked sideways, and saw the smirk on Hikaru's face. With a scowl Kaoru reached over my desk, and wrenched the back of Hikaru's chair so that he slammed back against the floor.

There was a shocked silence, where Hikaru got stiffly to his feet. The two glowered at one another over my head, my desk the only thing between them. Then, at the same time, they threw up the lids of their desks and began throwing whatever they could find at the other. Books, pens, pencils, sharpeners, rubbers, bags; all manner of objects flew through the air between the two brothers. Even a chair was hurled, narrowly missing my head, which caused Hikaru to cry out and grab Kaoru, sending them both sprawling over a desk and onto the ground, where they continued to fight. I sighed, collapsing my head on my arms atop the desk.

Even at lunchtime they were still the most terrible of enemies. Actually…scratch that; lunchtime made it even worse. I was sitting, perfectly content, at my usual table with my home-made lunchbox. The twins, however, had somehow managed to find themselves at the counter at the same time. After a few moments of glowering at one another they turned to the chefs.

"I'll have the A lunch," they said at the same time. They scowled at one another. "No! Give me the B pasta, and the D salad!" Their scowls intensified. For a moment they were silent, jaws clenched, but then began to say, very fast, "I'll-take-the-F-capellini-with-the-Barbary-duck—HOLD ON! Make-that-a-frois-gras-in-peregrine-sauce!" They turned on one another, their faces inches apart. "Aargh! **_Stop copying me! Why don't you just leave me alone!?_**"

"Amazing," I said quietly, reaching to unwrap my box. "Perfect unison, even when fighting…"

"I was wondering what all the fuss was about," I heard a voice. I turned my head to see Tamaki entering the large lunch hall. He was followed closely by Kyoya, behind him Honey was leading Mori by the hand at a skipping gait. Held steadily in Mori's other great hand was a very large cake, with a strawberry in the very centre "You two are still fighting? My my, you're really becoming an embarrassment to the Host Club," The twins turned the glare at Tamaki. Honey let go of Mori's hand, and hurried over to the twins as fast as he could; the pink bunny was clutched tightly under one arm.

"We've had enough of this," he said. The twins looked at him, but their faces didn't change from infuriated sneers. "You two are both responsible for this fight," Mori came over, holding the cake towards them. The twins scowled at it. "Hika-chan and Kao-chan, I want you to make up and go halfsies on this cake! Okay?" He beamed at the two of them; neither made response. Then Honey's cheeks blushed a little, his eyes glittering the longer he looked at the cake.

"But I kinda want some of this cake, as well," he said, "So I guess we'll have to go thirdsies," His face drooped into embarrassed confusion. "But I don't really want to split the strawberry on top though… What should we do?" The twins' hands clenched, and they glared down at Honey; he didn't seem to notice, too entranced by the cake. Annoyance seemed to radiate from the two either side of him. "Would you two mind if I had the strawberry? After all, strawberries are my favourite,"

"Mitskuni," Mori set the cake down on the counter between them, and picked Honey up beneath his arms. He started walking away towards the rest of us, and Honey squirmed to keep sight of the cake.

"Takashi, no!" he said, wriggling his legs uselessly; there was at least three feet between himself and the floor. "We can't just leave it over there! What if somebody else takes i—"

"You're just making it worse," Mori said simply, in his deep voice. "Leave them alone,"

"Poor Honey-senpai…" I said quietly, seeing the upset look on his little cherub's face. "Is Mori-senpai always so blunt?" Tamaki seemed to realise for the first time that I was there.

"Oh, Haruhi!" he cried, beaming. "I didn't expect to run into you, here! You don't normally eat here, do you?"

"Um…actually, I eat here every day," I said. Kyoya gave a small laugh from behind Tamaki, who looked as though this obvious statement had been a complete shock. "I just followed those two troublemakers here to make sure they didn't start another punch-up. I just don't normally eat the school food," I indicated the still unwrapped box on the table before me. "I always bring a box lunch,"

"A…box lunch…?" Tamaki said, lightning sparking in his head. Cue the theatre of Tamaki's mind in 3…2…1… The curtains flapped open on a royal box, where the pretty girl with short brown hair was smiling sweetly, a flower tucked behind her ear.

"Here, darling," she said, holding out a box decorated with sweets and flowers. Her cheeks flushed pink. "Your box lunch. I hope you're not too embarrassed, but I decided to make it in a heart shape for you," Tamaki took the box from her hands, and she beamed, an invisible wind ruffling her hair and dress as she cried, "I love you, Tamaki-senpai!" She threw her arms around him, bringing her head down to kiss him.

"I don't care if my box lunch is in an embarrassing shape, I will eat it!" Tamaki said quickly, his hands held before him in the air around an invisible box, his face blushing furiously. I was staring at him with one eyebrow raised.

"O…kay…?" I said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Kyoya said as he walked past, a tray of food held in his hands. "Evidently your fantasies are completely incoherent," Tamaki didn't seem to have heard him, instead walking giddily off to accept his food from the counter; no doubt wishing that it was, indeed, a boxed lunch from me.

"Hey, Haruhi, mind if I sit here?" Hikaru said, resting a hand on the back of the chair next to me.

"Uh…" I hastily shook my head, clearing it of what had just happened. "Okay,"

"Thanks," he said, drawing back the chair and lounging upon it. He set down his tray with a sigh, and caught sight of my box lunch. He frowned, pointing to it. "What's that? Something you brought for lunch?"

"Yeah," I said, "Just some leftovers from yesterday, and a rolled omelette," I shrugged. "Nothing amazing," Hikaru grimaced, indicating his own tray.

"Wanna switch with me?" he said glumly, "I had to order something different, that Kaoru didn't want, so I ended up with food I don't really like," Without even waiting for an answer he picked up my box, and pushed his tray along the table at me.

"That's fine with me," I said coldly, looking down at the food he had given me. There were four dishes; four! Just for lunch? Bread and soup, salad, pasta with olives and mozzarella with some strange leaves and pieces of fish I didn't know, and a large, elaborate-looking ice cream. Strange word to describe food with, but it looked magnificent. I reached uncertainly for the fork, spearing at a piece of food. I'd never tried anything like this before. I raised the fork to my lips, and didn't notice Hikaru watching me out the corner of his eye as I put it inside.

For a moment I was silent, but then the wonderful taste filled my senses. I had never tasted food until this moment. Hikaru gave a satisfied smile, reaching to unwrap the box. Tamaki was watching us, and he saw the look of utter delight on my face.

"Delicious, isn't it, Haruhi?" he pined, holding his tray of food in slightly trembling hands. "Oh, you're enjoying it so much! I wish you could eat like this every day…" He looked down at his tray, and an idea sparked in his head. He hurried over, flashing Hikaru the thumbs up. "Well played, Hikaru!" he said brightly, his eyes fixed on the wrapped box of food. "As a reward I'd like to trade my lunch for your boxed lunch!"

"Wha—no way," Hikaru said, putting a protective hand over the box as Tamaki made to take it. "Piss off, senpai,"

"Come on, trade with me!" Tamaki said.

"Forget about it," Hikaru replied.

"So, Haruhi," a voice made Hikaru scowl. "That any good?" Kaoru had set his tray down on my other side, and had taken his seat. "How would you like to taste mine?" I shrugged. He laughed, taking up a piece of fish on his fork. "Come on, it's really good!" Hikaru slowly turned his head to look at him, and Kaoru smirked, taking hold of my chin. "Here," he said quietly, tilting my head slightly upwards, the fork outstretched. "Let me…" He moved the fork towards my slightly open mouth. Just as it would have gone in, Hikaru pushed me aside and closed his own mouth around the fork.

"Quit butting in," he mumbled through the fork, his mouth still fixedly closed. Kaoru scowled at him. "Get lost, Kaoru,"

"Fine," he said, letting go of the fork, which Hikaru spat onto the table. Kaoru made as if to go back to eating, but instead picked up his bowl of ice cream and lobbed it at Hikaru. Hikaru grabbed Tamaki by the tie and pulled him across the table, right into harm's way; the bowl slammed into his shocked face, coating him in ice cream and sauce. Hikaru grinned, letting go of Tamaki – who slid to the floor in a daze – and throwing a plate of food from my tray at Kaoru. It was like the classroom all over again, only much _much _messier. It was only after a large amount of cream had been splashed across the front of my blazer did I heave a great sigh and get to my feet.

"I think I'll go eat in the classroom," I said wearily, picking up the discarded box lunch and walking for the door. It was almost exactly the same as earlier, except they hadn't yet rolled around on top of the table. I heard a loud crash, and a few screams, and turned my head to see the two boys brawling atop the completely ruined tablecloth, coating themselves in bits of food. I sighed, turning away again. Now it was _complete _déjà vu.

…. ….

Tamaki's head was on the desk, his hair wet from being washed of dessert. Mori was silent and stone-faced, Honey sitting beside him clutching Usa-chan tightly. I was absently staring out the window, listening to the beeping of Kyoya's calculator.

"Hm…" he frowned, setting down the device. "According to these numbers, if this situation isn't resolved, I'm afraid we'll have to stop selling our 'brotherly love' package," Nobody made to respond. I sighed, staring morosely at the windowpanes in turn. "Haruhi," I looked at him. "I just want you to know there's no reason for you to feel responsible…even though it was your tactless comment that started this whole feud, in the first place," He smiled as if that made everything better. It didn't. It was clear that he blamed me for everything. It was like Ayanokoji, again. Wow, today was a good day for recollections…

"It's weird for Hika-chan and Kao-chan to be fighting like this," Honey said sadly, meekly raising the rabbit's floppy arms up and down. "It's never happened before…" Mori nodded silently. I looked at them.

"They've never fought before?" I asked. I had to admit that if I ever had a sibling we'd probably never stop arguing. Honey shook his head.

"I've known Hika-chan and Kao-chan since we were in pre-school," he explained, "We weren't in the same year, so I never really got to talk to them. But I remember that the two of them _always_ played together," Tamaki raised his head, leaning his chin on one hand.

"Yeah, that's true," he said, and my gaze flicked to him. "I mean, I've only known the twins since they were in middle-school, but they definitely stood out from everybody else. It seemed like they kept everyone at a distance, except each other, you never saw one without the other, even in the bathroom. Believe it or not, they were even more warped back then," he said with a slight laugh. "When you stop, and think about it…maybe this fight is a good thing for them?" I looked at him, pondering this sentiment. Tamaki straightened up, stretching his arms. "Maybe this will broaden their horizons a bit? We should just leave them alone, and let them work it out,"

I smiled faintly, turning away to gaze out the window; the sun was just beginning to set, shining bright rays of gold in my eyes.

"Who knows?" I whispered, more to myself than anyone else. "Maybe this really will be a turn for the better? But…if this really is their first fight, then they'll probably need someone to tell them when to just give in and call it quits… And if they've never fought before…" I got up from my chair, walking over to the window and placing a hand upon the cool glass. "…would they even know how to make up?" I let my hand slide from the window, falling limply to my side.

…. ….

The Host Club was closed for business; go away, no snooping! We had all locked ourselves inside, keeping the twins in 'solitary confinement' as Tamaki called it. Funny, considering how 'solitary' is supposed to mean alone…

The room was constantly alive with the sounds of much crashing furniture, the tinkling of china as every vase was smashed, the cries of rage and snide taunts about how much make-up the other's mother wore. After a while – two whole hours of nothing but calamity – any hope we had of the Hitatchin twins reuniting had vanished. There was an enormous mound of scattered objects in the middle of the room, and the pink and blue haired boys were shaking, panting heavily as they glared at one another.

"Don't you guys think that maybe it's time you give up all this fighting!?" Tamaki groaned, clutching a shaking hand at his head, trying to ease his splitting headache. "It's driving me insane!" Hikaru turned on him.

"What's that you say?" he said coldly, his teeth and fists clenched. "It's driving **_you_**insane!? So sorry, why don't we just give you a nice hot cup of tea—Uurgh! You've gotta be kidding me! How do you think I feel, you lousy bag of sh—" Mori clapped his hands over Honey's ears. Hikaru shook, closing his eyes momentarily to try and compose himself. "Every time I look in the mirror I see _his_ face!" He turned his bubblegum head to scowl at Kaoru. "I'm sick and tired of constantly being mistaken for you, Kaoru!" Kaoru grimaced, making an obscene gesture at his brother; Mori threw a hand before Honey's wide brown eyes. "The truth is, _dear brother_, I hate your guts!"

"You took the words right out of my mouth, _darling sibling_!" Kaoru retorted, reaching around inside his pocket. "in fact, I hate you so much I bought this!" He thrust out his hand, clutching a small wooden sculpture of some sort. "Belzenef the curse doll!" Tamaki gave a frightened squeak, and leapt behind me, scrabbling at my shoulders to protect him.

"Senpai, get off!" I hissed. Kaoru was glowering at his brother, withdrawing a pen from his pocket.

"And, to complete the curse, Hikaru," he continued, smirking. "I'm going to write your name on his back!" Hikaru bared his teeth angrily, bracing his shoulders and shaking with rage. Kaoru bit the lid, pulling it off the pen. He spat it to the ground with distaste, and raised it towards the doll. My eyes widened. "From this day forward—" He began to scribble very fast, and I pulled myself free from Tamaki's grip. "—you're going to experience nothing but pain and sorrow!"

Hikaru started towards his brother, but I got there first. I whacked Kaoru right between the eyes, so hard that my wrist felt like it had cracked.

"Whoa…" he mumbled, his eyes crossing as he fell backwards to the floor. Hikaru skidded to a halt, bewildered, his mouth and eyes wide as he simply stared at me.

"Haru…hi?" he whispered, as I bent and straightened up, plucking the Belzenef doll from the groaning Kaoru's hand. I turned on Hikaru, swinging my fist through the air and pummelling the side of his face so he slipped sideways onto Kaoru. "Holy shit!" he cried from the floor, clutching his cheek as it began to throb. Mori's hands tightened around Honey's ears. "Woman, calm your ti—"

"Would you just knock it off!?" I shouted at the two of them, sprawled on top of one another. I glowered down at them, holding out the Belzenef. "What the hell do you think you're doing; you don't bring something like this into a petty fight between a pair of idiots, like you!" They stared up at me, their eyes so wide they seemed to be almost white. "Both of you are at fault here, but what's really sad is that you brought everybody else around you into your big mess!" My face flushed red with fury, and I stamped my foot down hard beside them, bending down to glare at them in turn.

"Now apologise to each other!" I commanded. "If you don't make up, right now, I will never let _anybody_ come to my house, **_ever_**! Have I made myself clear, thick as you are!?" For a long time they simply stared, and I shook with great, juddering breaths. I saw that both were crying, their wide green eyes brimming with tears. They closed their gaping mouths, before they grinned. I blinked. What?

"So then, what you're saying, Haruhi…" they said slyly, smirking up at me from the floor. "…is that we can come over to your place?"

"I-I-I…what!?"

They grinned even wider, Hikaru getting to his feet and offering his hand to his brother. Kaoru got up, and the two linked shoulders, leaning around on either side of me with broad, devilish grins. For a moment I stared in silence at the two of them in turn, before I looked down at the doll in my hand. I slowly tilted it, and read the name on the back of it.

"Tamaki…Suoh?" I whispered. My eyes widened. Tamaki cried out in shock, clapping a hand to his eyes and collapsing backwards to the floor. I realised with a scream what they had done, "You bastards!" My hands flew to my mouth, and I sank to my knees on the floor. Mori's hands were held firmly over Honey's head, masking both sight and sound. "You sneaky little—uurgh!" The twins smacked hands, grinning with success. They sighed, hugging tightly.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru," Hikaru whispered, taking hold of his brother's face and gazing sadly into it. Their legs were entwined, their skinny chests pressing into the other's. "Even though I was just following our script, I said such awful things to you!" What!? They even had a script!? I was going to _kill_ them for this! Hikaru sniffed, turning his head away. "I'm not fit to be your brother…"

"Don't say that, Hikaru!" Kaoru cried, holding the other's cheeks and looking earnestly up into his eyes. "I was so worried! I thought that I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you!"

"Kaoru, I'll never let you go again!" Hikaru threw his arms around his brother again, clawing at him to convey his full love.

"Hikaru!" They were crying into one another's shoulders. I had slipped forwards, and was slowly beating my fist against the floor. They had beaten me; they'd totally fooled me. I was such an idiot! And now I had to let them into my house… I'd never hear the end of it.

"You guys are such meanies!" Honey cried, breaking free from Mori's large hands and running up to the twins with tears streaming down his face. "You mean y-you were faking it this whole time!?"

"What?" they replied, "We didn't have anything else to do,"

"Twins with too much time on their hands…" I croaked, and they looked at me as I turned my head to scowl at them. "…are the devil…" They stuck out their tongues, before collapsing into howls of laughter. I decided, then and there, that I would become a troglodyte and live in a cave as far away from the Hitatchin twins as was possible.

…. ….

The Host Club was re-opened for business; come back, you can snoop all you want! Two boys were laughing inside, surrounded by a large group of girls.

"I'm so happy they made up!"

"Okay!" the twins cried, smiling at every girl in turn. Their hair was still bizarre as ever. "It's time to play the 'Which on is Hikaru?' Game!" One twin pointed to a girl with short black hair. She giggled.

"I know!" she said, "The one with pink hair is Hikaru!" The twins beamed.

"We have a winner!" they cried.

"So, are you two going to keep your hair colours wild like this, even though you've made up?" one girl asked, waving at me as I walked by. "It's much easier to tell you apart now," I laughed, not unkindly.

"Not really," I said. The twins' faces fell, and they stared after me, eyebrows raised. I stopped, looking back at them with a smile. "Today the pink one is Kaoru, and Hikaru is the blue one. You swapped colours for today, huh?" They didn't answer, even as the girls started clapping me. I smiled, and turned to carry on walking.

"Damn, she's good…" Hikaru whispered, watching after me with a slightly misted expression. "No girl has ever been able to tell us apart so well… What is it about her that makes her so special?" With a jolt Kaoru remembered back to the day, nine years ago, when that little girl in the snow couldn't tell them apart; even when she had had a crush on them. He wondered the same question as his brother, but silently. And, like that snowy day from so long ago, he held his brother's hand. Hikaru didn't seem to notice, still watching after me.

Kaoru's dark green eyes flicked sideways to look at his brother. There was a pale flush to his cheeks, a faraway look in his gaze. 'Do you realise what's happening, Hikaru?' Kaoru thought. 'Until now there had only ever been two groups of people; us, and everybody else. But, for the first time, someone's crossed into our world; and I don't think you entirely hate it. You might even like it more than I do. Because Haruhi…is a very extraordinary girl – you just don't know it yet'.


	6. ANNOUNCEMENT CONCERNING CH6

Hello everyone. Calantha, I'm very sorry if this notification over-excites you, but I wanted to ask a question. Episode 6 of the anime, concerning the Grade School student Shiro greatly aggravates me; not only does the kid drive me insane, but I feel that the episode sways too greatly in the direction of TamaHaru, which I am not very happy about.

I'm uncertain (and also somewhat unwilling) to write a chapter on this episode. Opinions? Should I, or should I not, write the chapter 'the Grade School kid is the Naughty Type'? (I also think that I'd much prefer to keep this fic on 25 chapters, as opposed to 26. I was just wondering if any of you had desired set upon this side story. Let me know through private message, if you have anything you want to discuss; I'm more than happy to read and reply to any opinions, whether they're happy, neutral or down right pissed off).

Thank you for your support with this story, it honestly means the world to me. That's all.


	7. Jungle Pool SOS

****I have reached the decision to skip out the official chapter 6, concerning Shiro the Grade School boy, and instead continue with the rest of the story. However, when all is finished, I shall go back and write in about the 'naughty type' to complete the whole thing. And with the whole pulling-Haruhi-into-the-water thing, well...I NEEDED MORE HARU/TWINS MOMENTS! **

**I'm also reaaaaaally sorry about how long it took to come out, my laptop crashed and I lost EVERYTHING that I have been working on/writing for the last two years so I had to continue from scratch :'(**

Chapter 7

Jungle Pool SOS

Waves were beating carelessly against the sand, the sun in the bright blue sky casting golden light upon all below it. Tropical birds called to one another, flapping their vibrantly coloured wings as they flew from the tufty branches of the great palms. Wait a minute…am I dreaming? I looked around, my mouth slightly open. We're in Japan; and it isn't exactly renowned for its tropical locations…

"Behold, Haruhi!" Tamaki sighed contentedly, throwing an arm around my shoulders and spinning me round to admire everything within sight. "Bask in the beauty of tropical birds. Aren't they breathtaking?" He smiled as a large blue and gold bird swopped by. "I wonder what they're called," Where was the exit, again? Before I could speak Tamaki began steering me towards the large umbrellas that cast shade over the luxurious deck chairs. He lounged upon one, crossing his legs and leaning back as he reached for his drink. He swilled around the coconut husk, the ice and glass cocktail umbrellas inside clinking together. When I didn't sit down he cocked his golden head to the side, watching me with bemusement. "Make the most of this down time and just relax," he said, taking a sip of his drink. "We're all so occupied with worrying how to keep our good looks that we deserve a vacation, every now and then,"

I folded my arms, raising my eyebrows.

"Personally, I think this is pointless, and a waste of time," I said, "So can I go home, now? I should be spending my free time studying, not lounging around! And I've got a tonne of laundry to do, today," Tamaki tutted softly, shaking his head and waggling his finger disapprovingly.  
"I'm sure your laundry can wait, Haruhi," he said, flicking a hand through his hair. "Just take the chance to admire the scenery, at least," I sighed, turning away and walking off, my shoulders hunched.

"Where even are we, anyway?" I muttered to myself. I remembered vividly how I had just been walking to my next class, and then suddenly the twins had grabbed me by either arm and dragged me to the front gates where a large black car had been waiting. I had been thrown inside, and pounced upon by those two evil boys to keep me from 'escaping' as they called it. I called it being a good student and trying to get to lessons. However they had managed to subdue me, sitting on either side of me – extremely close so that our cheeks were all but pressed together. They didn't lay a hand off me – in more ways than one – until the mysterious car had ground to a halt, and I had been pulled out by an exuberant Tamaki as a necklace of hibiscus flowers was thrown around my neck by Honey. And so I was resigned to spend a day as the Host Club's vacation-prisoner.

"This place is a new theme park created by my family, the Otori Group," Kyoya's voice sounded, and I turned my head to see him falling into step beside me. "It's called the Tropical Aquagarden,"

"I don't understand, Kyoya-sepai," I frowned, stopping. "I thought the Otori group ran hospitals? I thought you were all focused on the medical business," He shrugged.

"Yes," he admitted, "But my family likes to diversify and try different things. Besides this place could be classified as a healing facility,"  
"Hmm…" I was doubtful, but chose not to pursue the matter very much further. I wasn't in the mood for idle chatter; I wanted to find the exit and get back to school, even if I had to walk there myself. However Kyoya continued to enlighten me with the story of his family's businesses.

"I suppose you could call it therapeutic," He swilled around the drink inside his coconut husk. "Think of all the people who are overworked, and would just love a vacation to the South Tropics; however they may not be able to get the money or the time off to take it. Those people can now seek refuge here in this themepark, and reduce their stress levels," He smiled almost courteously, gently sliding the glasses further up his thin nose with his index finger. "The Otori Group's primary concern has always been for the good health and the well-being of the general public," I somehow highly doubted that. Perhaps it was something to do with Kyoya being the swindling, heartless human-incarnation of the devil himself. What Kyoya was saying about his family's morals sounded just plain suspicious, to me. "The park doesn't officially open until next month, but the Host Club was given a special advance invitation,"

"Hm…good to know…" I said disinterestedly, putting my hands in the pocket of the hoodie I had been forced to wear. I started walking away, my sandaled feet making squeaky, shuffling noises against the smooth tiling that layered the ground. There was much splashing from either side of me, as I walked down a path between two pools. To my right Honey was balanced atop Mori's broad shoulders, singing sea shanties and occasionally jumping down into the water. On my other side the twins were tossing an inflatable ball over a net, running left and right to try and keep it from hitting the water. I decided to watch them for a little while, until Hikaru caught me looking at him and dived in completely the wrong direction.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru cried, splashing a large amount of water at his brother. "What are you doing, loco? The whole point of the game is to _not _do that," Hikaru's face burned as he grabbed the ball as it floated by.

"S-sorry, Kaoru," he said quickly, throwing the ball over the net with such force that it bounced away across the tiles and into the bushes. "Aargh! Sorry!" he cried again as Kaoru raised his arms in exasperation and turned to hoist himself out of the pool. Hikaru shuffled awkwardly in the pool, shooting furtive looks in my direction.

"Haru-chan!" Honey called, "Haru-chan, watch me!" I turned my head to see Honey springing from Mori's shoulders, soaring through the air as he tucked himself into a ball. He turned twice forward in the air before crashing through the surface of the pool in an explosion of bubbles and water. He resurfaced, beaming at me. I smiled, applauding him. He did a sort of triumphant paddle around in a misshapen circle. I turned away to walk on, but then a hand seized me by the ankle in a burst of water and red hair.

"Gotcha!" Hikaru laughed, and I doubled back in surprise. I almost fell backwards but then Kaoru appeared, dropping the ball and grabbing my shoulders to steady me. Before I had a chance to thank him he pushed me forwards so that I was teetering over Hikaru on one foot, but then he wrenched me back.

"Saved your life!"

"Uurgh! You guys are such assholes!" I snapped, pulling myself free of both and striding away.

"Aaw, come on Haruhi!" they called, "We just want a little fun!" I stopped, turning back on them with a scowl on my face. Hikaru climbed out of the pool and stood dripping next to his brother.

"If you want to have fun, then go wind up Tamaki or something," I said, and they exchanged glances and then nods.

"Great idea, Haruhi," they said, walking towards me. For a moment it looked as though they would pass by me on either side, but then they each grabbed an arm. "And we know just what to do," Before I could object they both jumped, whooping, into the water. For a moment my eyes snapped wide in horror, and I was simply suspended in a single second where nothing moved. But then the forces kicked in, and I was pulled straight down after them. I crashed through into the surprisingly warm water, my vision instantly blurred. A few bubbles escaped my mouth, and I saw the twins straddling the water in my peripheral vision. I gave a tug on either arm to try and break loose, but this just pulled them closer. They both hugged me tightly, the breath catching in my lungs as their arms squeezed against my ribcage. We were slowly sinking. At least, I thought we were; but the twins were actually kicking down with expert practice until we sat on the tiled bed of the pool. The surface seemed a long way off, and my lungs were already hurting. The twins, it seemed, were afflicted by no such thing; with as much money as they had they could afford to swim whenever they wanted, and had no doubt perfected the art of holding their breath for a very long time. I, in my 'commoner's' state had no such luxury. I hadn't been swimming since before mum died…and even then I hadn't really been beneath the surface before.

But then two streams of bubbles came towards me, and my eyes widened n surprise. The twins kissed me on either cheek, and my face suddenly burned scarlet and quite hot. My mouth open in a gasp of shock, a torrent of large bubbles shooting out and up. More bubbles on either side, the twins were laughing. My lungs felt even emptier, sore now.

"Get off!" I shouted, my voice a garbled and languid sound, lost and incoherent. I gritted my teeth and pulled with all my might against the two of them, and their grip slackened. I began kicking madly for the surface, my technique utterly wasted and useless, and somehow managed to kick the twins at least once. I heard muffled groans, but didn't look back, tryig hard to reach the surface and air. Sweet, sweet air.

At last, it seemed, I breached the gentle waves and heaved a great gulping breath. I shook my head like a dog, wiping my eyes clear. I had to blink a few times to relieve the blurriness. I hauled myself onto the tiles, shivering slightly; the water was warmer than the air. I sighed, my clothes now soaking wet and sticking tight to my skin. But something surprised me. There were no racing footsteps, no cries of 'Haruhi, my darling! Are you safe? What did those little devils do to you? It's okay, daddy's here!' There was no Tamaki. Two heads burst through the surface, grinning.

"I've got to say, Haruhi," Hikaru said.

"You can kick a whole lot better than you can swim," Kaoru said. I scowled.

"You're real jerks, you know that?" I hissed. They shrugged.

"So we've been told, countless times," the replied. "Mostly by you," I reached out and cracked their heads together, and they disappeared beneath the water for a moment. I saw their distorted forms rippling, clutching their heads. "What was that for?" they moaned as they resurfaced.

"Tamaki isn't even here!" I said coldly, "What was the point if he wasn't evn watching?"

"Well, we can easily try again when he's around, if that's what you want," Hikaru grinned. My scowl intensified.

"Don't deny it, Haruhi, you were loving it," Kaoru continued, grinning just as broadly. I didn't say anything, rising to my feet and turning to walk away. "Ooh! She's not denying it, Hikaru! Haruhi liked it!" I raised my hand in an obscene gesture over my shoulder, not looking back. The twins started cackling.

"You're going to come back later, and beg us for more," Hikaru laughed.

"Don't bet on it," I said loudly.

"Probably the other way around in your case, Hikaru," Kaoru said in a low voice. Hikaru's laughter faltered, his face burning.

"Kaoru, what the hell!?" But his brother simply began laughing again, splashing water in Hikaru's face, starting another water war.

After a while I began to dry out, and finding a bathroom with towels in it helped a lot. I began to get thirsty, and decided to return to where Tamaki and Kyoya were under the umbrella in the shade.

"Aah, this is so relaxing," Tamaki sighed contentedly, stretched out on his lounge chair, and ruffling his hair carelessly. "We don't have to worry about guests to entertain, for once," He was gazing up at the artificial blue sky, the computer generated sun shining down warmly. Tamaki smiled, sipping his ice-cold drink. "It's truly a holiday for such handsome young soldiers. I guess that's what you'd call it,"

As I was walking closer he smiled and wave at me, and I was about to raise my own in rely when a pair of small hand clasped around it.

"Haru-chan!" Honey giggled, beaming. "Wanna share some coconut juice with me? Or do you wanna try a piece of the mango cake?"

"Yeah, I'll share some coconut juice with you," I smiled, starting to lead him towards the shade. "I was going to have some anyway,"

"Yay!" he cried, letting go of me and skipping away towards Tamaki while singing, "Cocount juice with Haru-chan! Coconut juice with Haru-chan!" It seemed strange for him to be without Mori though. I turned my head to look for him, and saw that he was walking toward a pool with a quickly running current. With a few meters to go he broke into a run, and even with his extremely long legs it was amazing to see someone cover so much ground in so little time. He leapt into the air at the last possible second, breaking the water in a dive and immediately working his muscular arms. Anybody else might've been swept backwards, and I couldn't help but marvel his strength.

"Hey, Haruhi,"

"What is it now, Kaoru?" I sighed, turning to face the twins. Hikaru was eating a banana.

"You wanna go check out the water slide?"

"Uh…no," I said, flipping up the hood of my jumper and turning away.

"Wait a minute," Hikaru mumbled through a mouthful of banana. "I was wondering earlier, but now I really wanna ask. What's with tha pull-over you're wearing? We _did_ give you a swimsuit," It was true, they had given me a swimsuit, but still I wore a yellow pull-over to cover it. My legs were still showing, but they weren't particularly interested.

"Oh…er, this thing?" I remembered to just a little earlier, less than an hour ago in fact, when the twins had dragged me by my arms to the changing rooms. They had all but thrown me to the ground before a pair of girls in uniform, who took me with wide smiles through the doors. They'd pulled off my clothes and wrapped me in a towel, pulling and pushing me down a corridor to a large room.

"Ow! Would you stop that? Hey! What are you doing? Let me go, already!"

"Just through here, Miss Fujioka,"

"What the hell is this!?"

"We've brought a range of all our mother's latest designs for you to choose from!" the twins called, not noticing Tamaki coming up behind them. "Just pick whichever one you want!" The whole room was row upon row of swimsuits on racks.

"Are you ready, Miss Fujioka? It's time to pick one!"

"Thanks, but I-I don't need a swimsuit," I said hastily, trying to back away out the door. One grabbed me and held me there.

"Well, why don't you let me select one for you?" she said sweetly, steering me down a row and riffling through them to pick out a swimsuit with large holes cut into in in an abstract design. One was placed in an uncomfortable area, and I quickly turned it down. The other girl held up a strappy two-piece that looked as though it didn't cover very much skin.

"This one would look so cute on you!"

"Wha—no way! I'm not wearing a bikini!" I cried, and outside Tamaki's eyes widened. He craned his ears to listen, the twins watching him with amusement and also annoyance. This sort of dialogue went between us for a considerable amount of time, before the girls simply crossed a line.

"Ooh, wait! I bet you'd look totally amazing in this!" She was holding out the most sickening thing I had ever seen under the name 'swimsuit'.

"Uurgh, but that's nothing more than a bunch of strings!" I said in a disgusted voice. Outside Tamaki all but fainted, falling backward in a heap. Eventually I decided upon a light green swimsuit with darker green trimming and white straps and skirt. As I finally left the building the twins had grown bored at left, and Tamaki was standing clutching a yellow lump. As he saw me I looked up at him, and he took in everything. His face flushed pink, and he opened his mouth to speak before faltering. He stared at me for a couple of uncomfortable seconds before turning his head and thrusting the yellow thing at me. I looked at it in surprise.

"Senpai?"

"I – no- just –just hurry up and put it on," he stammered, still not looking at me as his face grew steadily redder and redder. "A p-proper young woman sh-should not show that much skin until after she's married,"

"So," Hikaru swallowed, tossing aside the banana skin. "You're not going to swim?" I shrugged.

"Hold on," Kaoru said, "You do swim, don't you?" I paused.

"Well, if I'm honest, no," I replied, "Dad and I simply can't afford to waste our time or money going swimming, you know? And it isn't exactly my idea of fun, I'm not that big on things like water parks. If we're just going to spend the day goofing off I'd honestly rather be at home," The twins sighed, exchanging looks and shrugging. "I actually don't even see what's so great about this place, anyway. I mean, all you really need to play in the water is a plastic pool,"

"A plastic pool, what's that?" the twin asked.

"It's how it sounds, a pool made out of plastic," I replied.

"Funnily enough, we figured that much out for ourselves, thanks," they said flatly.

"Well, I guess they're about this big," I motioned by arms in a wide circle. "Round, and to use them you have to pump them full of air,"

"You dunce," Hikaru said.

"That's a dinghy," Kaoru said, "You know—"

"—an inflatable boat," they both said. "You idiot," I rolled my eyes with a sigh.

"There's no way something that small could pass as a pool, anyway," Hikaru said.

"Yeah,"

"Guys, it's a small pool," I interrupted, "Haven't you ever seen little kids playing in one?"

"Well, no," they said carelessly, "Usually all the kids we know have pools in their back gardens," I turned away. Stupid rich people. Tamaki appeared and grabbed the twins around the neck with his arms and pulled them away.

"You idiots!" he whispered frantically. All the same his voice was still clearly audible. "If Haruhi thinks it's a pool then it's a pool! Got it? Don't go embarrassing her, she can't help that she's an ignorant commoner!" Gee, thanks.

"So are we supposed to lie to her? Is that what you want?"

"Thanks for the compliment, senpai," I called over my shoulder, and they looked round, as if shocked that I had heard them. "Really. I appreciate being called ignorant. No wonder you're the Host Club King, with flattery like that," Tamaki's mouth dropped open.

"Never mind that now, Boss," Hikaru said, "We've got a question for you,"

"Why'd you make Haruhi put on that yellow monstrosity?" Kaoru said, jerking his thumb in my direction. Tamaki gulped.

"I would've thought for sure you'd be all 'I wanna see Haruhi in a swimsuit!'" Hikaru continued, putting on a high childish voice like that used when girls are trying to imitate one another. "But now you're making her cover up like that," He grinned devilishly.

"It was surprising," Kaoru said, grinning with equal malice. Their mouths opened in mock realisation, and they put their heads together to whisper.

"I know why he did it!" they said, their voice still coherent to Tamaki's ears. "The Boss made Haruhi cover up because he didn't want anyone else to see her in a bathing suit! Do you really think that's it?" They turned on him, and he cowered away. "He must be one of those jealous pervert types! That's really twisted,"

"N-no!" Tamaki squeaked, trying to regain composure. His face was bright red when he next spoke. "That's not it at all!" He began frantically trying to explain, "I was just trying to protect her innocence, as any father or guardian would—"

"But you're not her father, or guardian,"

"—after all, even if she is wearing a swimsuit it's not decent for a lady to walk around half-naked in front of boys!" The twins looked at something a little past his shoulder. "Especially boys like you!" The twins raised their fingers and pointed. "And it's because of you that now she—huh?" He turned his head to see me standing behind him, eyebrows raised and arms crossed.

"Haru-chan!" Honey called, catching up with m at last. "Wasn't that coconut juice tasty? Well, now do you wanna go swimming in flower pool with me? I heard that the water doesn't move and everything is surrounded by loads of pretty flowers! It's super cute, Haru-chan!" He beamed at me expectantly.

"Um…no, sorry, I'm not going to swim today," I said. Then I realised the with one hand he was holding up a large inflatable pink life ring with bunnies on it. "Hold on, if you know how to swim then do you really need that float, Honey-senpai?" He shook his head innocently, taking hold of it and twirling round with a giggle, "Just looks cuter this way!" He giggled again before turning and skipping away, still holding up his float, while singing, "Prancing, prancing, prancing, prancing,"

"Heh," I smiled, watching after him, "Those bunnies are pretty cute,"

"He's so innocent," the twins said.

"No way! You've got it all wrong!" came a loud voice.

"Is…that Renge?" I said uncertainly, turning in circles to look around. The twins looked too. Sure enough, Renge Houshakuji was strutting towards us in a black bikini and holding a large purple parasol. There were lots of strange blue swirls across the left side of her stomach. Her hair was in a thick braid across her shoulder. She laughed aloud at the looks on out faces, hurrying her pace so she was running towards us. "Renge, did you follow us here?" She pouted.

"Indeed, I did," she said, swinging the parasol round and onto her shoulder. "You know, it wasn't very nice of you to go away on a vacation and not tell your lady manager about it first!"

"That outfit's pretty impressive," Hikaru said, looking her up and down. This seemed to snap her out of her mood.

"What's with the tattoo on your stomach?" Kaoru asked.

"Oh, that?" she said with a small giggle, "Recognise it?" She thrust an arm dramatically in the air. "I'm cosplaying!"

"Yeah? As you?" Hikaru asked.

"LaLa!" Renge sang.

"LaLa?" Kaoru repeated, "As in the manga magazine?"

"Her petit, slender frame! Her blue eyes that light up men's faces! Her singing voice!" Renge sighed contentedly, twirling around and waving her parasol high in the air. "I am LaLa!"

"I wouldn't have guessed," I muttered to the twins. They grinned.

"I had no idea who you were supposed to be," Tamaki said, fixing her with a quizzical look. The twins frowned, leaning an arm on either of his shoulders.

"Hey, Boss," they said in an undertone, "Are you sure it's okay for Renge to be dressed like that?"

"Well, yeah," Tamaki shrugged, "That's okay,"

"And…why is that?"

Tamaki frowned.

"Because it's cosplay?" he offered. The twins exchanged glances.

"Sure…" the muttered.

"Now, listen up boys!" Renge snapped, like a sergeant in the militia. She pointed a finger at us. "Obviously you need help understanding Haninozuka-kun's motives! Look!" She span around, pointing instead to where Honey could just be seen running for a pool.

"Takashi!" he cried, leaping into the air and clutching the sides of his pink float. He hit the water with a splash, and Mori watched as he was swept slowly downstream in a fit of giggles. Mori smiled faintly. Renge gave a self-satisfied smile.

"What are you talking about?" Tamaki asked.

"Think about what he said to you earlier," Renge replied. "'It just looks cuter this way'. He's not being as sweet and innocent as you think!" She turned to face us.

"I agree," Kyoya had come over, and was looking at a page in his little black book. "Try putting the word 'I' at the beginning of that sentence,"

"I just look cuter this way," I said. Our eyes widened. "He planned that?"

"That's Haninozuka for you!" Renge said, "Last week, when we were all burdened with that little boy Shiro, he felt threatened by another loli-boy type; he's taken steps to assure his rank," She laughed, turning to walk away. "You should give him more credit! He's a lot smarter than he looks, boys!" Kyoya started after her, chuckling as he pushed his glasses up his nose. The two began to engage in conversation together. We all exchanged defeated glances.

"Hey, everyone, look!" Honey cried, and we all turned. Her was perched on the small of Mori's back, whose arms and legs were powering against the water. However they didn't move forward or back. "Even though we're swimming really fast we never move anywhere except for where we are now!" He was giggling, and we all frowned as we watched them. Honey was impossible to make out. Could he really be as smart as Renge said he was?

There was an unfamiliar sound behind us, and myself and Tamaki turned in time for a burst of water to hit him straight in the face. Tamaki was so shocked he fell over backwards. Hikaru laughed.

"Ha! I gotcha!" He raised the water gun above his head. Kaoru was already pumping his own.

"Come on, Boss!" he said, "Let's have a water gun fight!" He tossed down a gun at Tamaki's feet.

"It'll be me and Kaoru against you!" Hikaru continued, "You get it in the face, you lose. Whaddaya say?"

"Forget it," Tamaki said as he got to his feet. "Why would I want to subject myself to a childish game like that?" The twins grinned mischievously. They hurried forwards and pulled me back with them, hugging me tightly on either side. Hikaru put his cheek against mine and began rocking me from side to side.

"Haruhi, I think it's about time we got married!" he said, and the colour drained from Tamaki's face.

"We can organise the wedding for Paris," Kaoru said, "Where everyone we know will be invited, except senpai over there," Tamaki's mouth dropped open.

"Yeah, he was trying to perv on you in your swimsuit,"

Tamaki's eyes narrowed, set with fury. He bent and picked up the water gun, pumping furiously.

"Do you really think I'd ever let Haruhi marry one of you guys?" he asked coldly, muttering and hissing the words with anger. "Daddy says—" He raised the gun, his teeth bared. "—NO!" He fired the gun, a torrent of water shooting straight for us. Hikaru swerved in front of me before I could get soaked, and the two of them began aiming for Tamaki. I sighed resignedly, walking away to go get a drink. I sat in Tamaki's chair, sipping coconut milk through a straw as I watched the twins continually hitting Tamaki and leaving him no chance to aim back.

After a few minutes Mori approached, water dripping down his muscular arms and chest, fresh from being hit by Tamaki's gun. He was tapping the side of his head, trying to free the water in his ear. I looked over to the current pool - my vision momentarily obstructed by the screaming Tamaki being chased by the twins – to where Honey was floating in his ring. Above water he seemed almost relaxed, but below it his legs were working frantically. Honey was swimming against the current the I-can-do-it-myself way.

"Taking a break, huh?" I asked, and Mori nodded. "You want something to drink?" I offered him my glass.

"Yeah, thanks," he said, reaching down and gratefully taking the drink. He threw aside the straw and downed the rest of it in one gulp. Tamaki fired a shot at the twins, but they ducked behind a tree. A split-second after the water subsided and Tamaki began pumping again they leapt out again. Two streams of water flew through the air as Tamaki raced for them.

"This time I'll get you guys!" he cried, throwing himself out of the way of the water that would have hit him had he not moved. "Sideways sleeping shot! Yaaaaargh!" He soared parallel to the ground, firing a stream of water that flew diagonally through the air. The twins would be hit, but then grabbed a pair of large tikki masks and hid behind them. "Huh!?" Tamaki slammed a hand down and flipped over. "That's cheating!" His foot landed on Hikaru's discarded banana peel, and he slipped. Dropping the water gun he span round, flailing his arms to regain balance but this only made it worse. He was sent stumbling forwards and falling head-first into one of the large rustic totem poles to decorate the scenery. There was the sound of clanging metal, and he sank slowly to the ground with a moan.

Red lights flashed on inside the carved eye sockets, one after another until the topmost head was glowing eerily. There was an electronic noise as Tamaki stumbled to his feet and staggered away, quick beeping and interference static buzzing. It continued to grow in volume and pitch, soon a high-pitched beep that seemed like it would never stop. The twins stuffed their fingers in their ears. There was the sound of glass tinkling, and I looked down to see the glass Mori was holding in a shattered pile beside my feet.

"Mori-senpai?" I said quietly, looking at him with concern. He was bristling, his jaw set, his dark grey eyes fixed on the current pool. I followed his gaze to where Honey swam. He was giggling, but then slowly the speed of the water increased. Honey frowned, being steadily pulled back by the currents. Then his mouth opened in terror, as a great wave began to rise before him. It towered at least twelve feet high, monstrous and dark, until it curled over him and slammed down in an explosion of foam and rapids like the jaws of a lion. His scream could just be heard above the crash of waves, and his pink float was sent spiralling into the air.

"Honey-senpai!"

"Mitskuni!" Mori was already sprinting away as I leapt to my feet to follow. His arms were powering him forwards, his long legs extending and falling behind like a high-speed machine. His face was set, his breaths fast and shallow. Then, in his haste, he tripped. Mori flew forwards, propelled by the speed of his run, and hit the tiled ground hard. He rolled like a carpet, banging his head and arms as they flailed about. I quickened my pace and hurried to him.

"Mori-senpai!" I bent next to him, and put a hand on his shoulder. He looked at me uncomfortably, clearly unused to being helped to his feet. However he accepted my arm and I pulled him up. He was covered in scratches and dirt, but he seemed unfazed. "Are you alright?" He nodded curtly, rubbing the back of his head. Tamaki, Kyoya and the twins hurried over.

"Alright, men!" Tamaki cried, pointing high in the air. "We're going after Honey-senpai!" He directed his finger down the current pool. "Following this pool will be the quickest route! Chaaaaaarge!" He started running, the twins grabbing me and following. Mori rolled his eyes but ran all the same.

"Wait!" Kyoya called, "I wouldn't go that way if I were y—" His words were cut short by our screams. Well…everyone but Mori's. A large group of alligators had burst from the water, snapping their jagged-toothed jaws and snarling. We all turned and ran back.

"Okay, so maybe we can't use that pool…" Tamaki said, still incredulous that alligators were in a swimming pool. "Then we'll try this wa—what the hell!?" An alligator crawled from the bushes he had been pointing at, a grin upon its scaly snout. It opened its mouth to growl and he screamed. We turned again, but there were more. They seemed to be everywhere. "Kyoya, what kind of relaxing holiday spa has alligators roaming free!?"

"Those alligators were part of the park's tropical animals exhibit," Kyoya explained coolly, scribbling notes in his black book. "I guess it is kind of dangerous to let them run wild, though…" He tapped his chin with the end of his pen. "…the cause of our present situation seems to be the location of the switch to the current pool. I'll have to have a little chat with our designers," He flipped his book shut and tucked it into his pocket. He smiled, "Thanks a lot you guys! I got some great data today!"

"You _what_!?" we cried in unison. So we were all just Kyoya's guinea pigs for his family's business!?

"Anyway," Kyoya said unconcernedly, walking toward a large board covered in diagrams. "This is a map of the Tropical Aquagarden," We all gathered around. He pointed his pen to a large red **_x_**. "And this is our current location. We need to get here," He moved his pen down a few inches to a large blue circle, presumably the end of the current pool. "I have a feeling that's where Honey-senpai probably ended up. It might be tough, though; to get there we have to get through this jungle area here," He moved his hand round in a continual circle. "Distance-wise we're talking about…eight-hundred metres," I studied the map a little harder.

"It looks like there are rather a lot of undeveloped areas, Kyoya-senpai," I said. "Any idea what might be lurking in those parts of the jungle?"

"Since they're still being developed I'm afraid I can't tell you, for I don't know myself," he shrugged.

"Whatever's out there could be even more dangerous than alligators," the twins said quietly. Mori was staring fixedly at his feet, shuffling uncomfortably.

"Alright!" Tamaki said loudly, "This mission is now all about survival! I just know we can make it through this treacherous jungle in one piece! It is our sworn duty to save Hone-senpai!" Mori nodded slowly, his balled fists shaking slightly. He looked, dare I say it, upset. Well, by his standards of emotion he seemed to be. I softened slightly. He must be so close to Honey to be like this. I wondered what their relationship really was…

Tamaki, Kyoya and the twins started away in the direction Kyoya had decided upon. Mori hung back for a short while, his head a little bowed. I took hold of the inside of his elbow and he looked to me. I smiled encouragingly, starting to lead him after the others. We soon caught up and I let go of Mori, instead walking between either of the twins. It didn't seem like very long before we were deep in a temperate mass of palms, ferns and all things tropical and viney.

"Wow, this is just like a real jungle, huh?" Tamaki commented as we pushed through the dense undergrowth. A chameleon squealed indignantly and turned bright red before Tamaki stepped on it. Tamaki saw the warning signal and hastily rearranged the placement of his foot. A toucan clicked its beak overhead, a group of colourful birds flying through the leafy palms.

"I keep hearing all these strange animal calls," I said.

"You don't think that all those animal sounds—"

"—could possibly belong to the real thing, do you?" the twins said. A bird screeched noisily from an unseen place, and the three of us jumped.

"To be honest I'm not sure," Kyoya replied, "But I do know that my family always strives for authenticity, whatever the cost—pothole," he added, pointing ahead a few metres. I chanced a look behind to Mori, a few paces back from everyone else. He was always so straight-faced that it was hard to tell what he's really thinking. Although he was doing a good job of being calm I could tell that he was actually worried. I looked away, but just as soon as I did there was a loud thud from behind us. We all turned to see Mori face down in the dirt, his foot stuck in the pothole. The twins looked anxious.

"Mori-senpai is—"

"—acting just as clumsy as you, Boss,"

"Nnggg—shut up!" Tamaki said hotly. Mori slowly picked himself up, his front lightly dusted with brown. He silently got to his feet and twisted his ankle round a bit. It was just as I thought; he really was worried. The artificial sky overhead steadily darkened, and the air suddenly became a little more humid. Kyoya flicked his wrist and looked at his watch.

"Uh oh," he said, "It's about time for the squall,"

"Huh?" the twins intoned, cocking their heads up to look at the sky.

"Authenticity," he replied, "Every rainforest has a monsoon once in a while,"

"You've gotta be kidding me,"

We hastily found our way to the closest developed part of the jungle, and took refuge beneath a palm-thatched gazebo hut. Just as we got beneath the sheltered ceiling did the first drops of rain begin to fall against the large leaves of the undergrowth. Soon it was much heavier, a constant downpour of noisy pattering. Mori leaned against the wooden fencing, and I sat down on a wooden chair. The twins sat on either side of me, Tamaki and Kyoya resting against a table.

"Say, Kyoya?" Tamaki said after a few minutes in silence.

"Hm?"

"Whatever happened to Renge? It wouldn't be very good if we went back and that parasol was hanging out of an alligator's mouth…"

"Oh, she heard about the vast collection of swimsuits left from Haruhi's selection and went off to content herself," Kyoya replied coolly, "She won't feel the need to leave that building for hours, yet," Tamaki smiled. Then there was silence again, save for the pattering of the rain. The thoughts that had been running through my head for the past while seemed more prominent now.

"Hey, Mori-senpai?" I called, but he didn't look round. "You seem to be really close to Honey-senpai. Are the two of you, like, childhood friends?" The twins looked incredulous, exchanging glances across me. Mori didn't speak, not even moving.

"You mean you didn't know?" the twins asked.

"Know what?"

"They're cousins, you dunce," Hikaru said.

"Wha—you're kidding me!" I said, looking at him. "You mean they're related?"

"Yeah, that's kinda what cousins are – related," Kaoru said. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"The Morinozuka's have been serving the Haninozuka family for generations," Kyoya continued, and I looked at Mori again. He seemed unable to hear us, as though blocking out everything in his worry. "However, two generations ago the families became relatives by marriage, and the master-servant relationship soon became a thing of the past. But still Mori-senpai has always made a point of accompanying Honey-senai on every one of their ventures,"

"It must really get his blood going," Tamaki said quietly, "The blood of a loyal servant flows like a river through Mori-senpai's veins," He sighed, rubbing a hand across his eyes. "What a beautiful story. I'm touched,"

"I don't know if you could call it a 'beautiful' story," I said as I rose to my feet. I turned to look again at Mori's back. I didn't entirely understand the story behind this blood and loyalty business, but it was obvious that Mori thought an awful lot of Honey. I walked quietly towards him, slowly reaching out and gently holding his arm. "Hey, Mori-senpai," I said, and he turned to look at me. "It's gonna be alright. I'm sure that Honey-senpai is safe; he's a lot tougher than you might think he is. And, y'know, if he gets hungry then the trees are all full of fruit," Tamaki and the twins watched us.

"What's he going to say?" Tamaki wondered aloud, although his voice was lowered. For a long moment Mori said nothing, his face straight and expressionless. Then he smiled at me. He actually _smiled_ at me! I couldn't believe it.

"You're right," he said quietly. Then he bent his huge frame and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. My eyes widened in shock, and I took a surprised half-step back. My arms were pinned to my sides by his. It was a shock in itself by how tall he as, and my God was he strong. It might've seemed gentle to him but after a while my shoulders began to ache.

"Don't tell me Mori-senpai's after my little girl as well!?" Tamaki cried, clutching the sides of his face. "And if not that, then what if he decides to throw me out of my place as her daddy!?"

"Nobody wants that spot but you, Boss," Hikaru reminded him.

"And that's kinda creepy, when you think about it," Kaoru said.

"What!? Who're you calling creepy?"

Kyoya's phone rang, and he flipped it up and held it to his ear.

"Hello, it's me," he said, trying to ignore the background noise of the rain hammering, the twins mocking Tamaki and the enraged cries which resulted from it.

"You're a little pervert! You're a little pervert!"

"Stop it, you two!"

"Hm…yes…yes… Well, we've had a little incident that's caused some trouble,"

"You're a little pervert!"

"Shut up! I'm not a perv!"

….

The rain had finally cleared, insects chirruping noisily again and birds calling. Water dripped languidly from leaves and branches, and a small shower sprinkled the ground as a boy pushed through them.

"Mori-senpai!" I called after him, jogging to try and close the distance between us as he thrashed his way through the undergrowth. "Mori-senpai, you're going the wrong way! Honey-senpai was headed in the opposite direction!" Mori paused, not looking back at me. His eyes were set on a point in the far-off tangle of trees.

"You're wrong. He went this way," he replied, starting onward without a backwards glance. His natural instinct amazed me but also annoyed me. He could get himself hurt if he was wrong.

"Hey, wait up!" I cried, pushing through a thick set of ferns with some difficulty. "It's too dangerous to go alone! I'm coming with you, Mori-senpai!" But soon I was face to face with an enormous hissing snake wrapped around a tree trunk, its long black tongue flickering in my direction. Its head came closer and closer, its mouth slowly opening to reveal two long fangs. I cried out and stuffed my fist in my mouth as I pushed it aside and ran after Mori. But then I tripped, rather painfully, over a protuberant root and skidded forwards with a cry of surprise. Mori turned and, faster than I thought was possible, ran over and caught me in his arms before I hit the ground. I looked up at him through wide eyes.

"Haruhi," he said, wrapping an arm beneath my legs and hoisting me into the air. My eyes widened in surprise as he began walking away, carrying me with one arm as I leaned against his chest. That was the first time he had ever called me by my name. I looked up at him, my cheeks a little pinker than was usual. I couldn't help but feel a little bit pleased. As Mori continued to carry me through the ever-thickening jungle, Kyoya put his hand over his ear to better converse with the other end of the phone call. He had good reason to; the twins were now performing a new song and dance, which was causing Tamaki's face to burn red as he ripped hair out of his head by the handful.

"Yes, at once please," Kyoya said, rubbing his forehead to try and ease his headache. He flipped shut his mobile and turned resignedly to the others.

"Senpai's perving on Haaaruhi! Senpai's perving on Haaaruhi! Senpai's perving on Haaaruhi!"

"_Would you two jerks quit calling me a perv_!?"

"My family's private police force is going to send in a search-and-rescue team—"

"Senpai's perving on Haaaruhi!"

"—they're better equipped to find Honey-senpai than we are—"

"If you don't shut up right now, so help me, I'll murder you in your beds!"

"—so let's just go back to the gate and wait there," Kyyoa sighed, realising that none of them were listening.

"Senpai's perving on Haaaruhi!"

"Shut your faces before I punch them! You're such horrible people, how are you even in the Host Club!?" Kyoya looked around him, hoping to find the two sensible people left. His mouth fell slightly open. In the commotion he hadn't noticed us leaving.

"Say…where are Mori and Haruhi?"

"Senpai's perving on Haru—**what**!?"

….

Red lights were flashing in a strobe along the darkened corridor, footsteps thundering down it. Organised chaos was reigning at the Tropical Aquagarden General Administration HQ. Thirty troops of the Otori Group's private police force were running for the exit, while the PA system announced, "Immediate emergency mobilisation order! I repeat; immediate emergency mobilisation order! Master Kyoya's friend has gone missing near the wave pool—" Thirty guns were taken down from the rows, and hitched up in arms. "—Our target is a small young man. Orders are to eliminate any suspicious figures! Show them no mercy!"

And so, as Mori and I travelled through the jungle, footsteps pounded through the overgrowth as thirty armoured men with pistols and knives came in search for the 'small young man'. Glowing red dots illuminated Mori's bare chest, and I looked at it in shock. He stopped walking, bristling and alert. His dark eyes narrowed, and he wheeled around to see seven police advancing with guns raised. More sailed down from above, dangling from black ropes. Mori stepped in circles, clutching me tightly, and we were surrounded on every side. Red dots were aimed at every fatal point on his body, and I simply stared around in fright.

"Target confirmed," one of them said, which I could not tell; their faces were shielded with reflective helmets. The way things appeared to the police I was the small young man, and Mori was a suspicious figure who might just have kidnapped me.

"The target has been captured by a suspicious man," one said into a radio sealed inside his bulletproof vest. "We will now take steps to take the target into custody," I stared at the man, my heart thumping inside my chest. What were they going to do to me? _What were they going to do to Mori?_ I clutched a hand nervously on his shoulder, and he looked at me. I was shivering slightly. He squeezed the arm that held me, as though trying to give reassurance.

"You there! Put the boy down immediately!" Mori shot an angry look around at them all. "If you refuse we will remove him forcefully!" There was the sound of a gun being cocked. The breath caught in my throat, and I tightened my hold around Mori's shoulders. More guns cocked, pointing straight at Mori's chest.

"Wait" Hold on!" I cried, looking in earnest at all the police I could see. A hand seized my arm, attempting to tug me free from Mori's grip. I struggled against the man holding me, crying out. Mori's eyes narrowed coldly.

"Let go of her!" he hissed, grabbing the man by the throat and hurling him away. He was thrown with such force that he flew straight into one of his comrades, and landed in a sprawled unconscious heap.

"Mori-senpai!"

"Are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine, but—"

"The suspect is resisting! Prepare to fire warning shots!" My breath shuddered, and I tightened my arms protectively around Mori. I wasn't going to let him get hurt. The twenty-eight left standing raised their guns on us. I closed my eyes tightly, bowing my head into his shoulder.

"Takashi! Haru-chan! Get out of the way!"

"Honey-senpai?" I whispered, both terrified and relieved that he was here.

"Aaaaaeeeerraaaoooeegggh!" He was screaming in a high-pitched, quavering sort of way, swinging forwards on a thick green vine. He let go at the highest point of its arch and soared through the air. He extended a leg and kicked a man across the head, turning a flip and landing with a skid through the dirt.

"Hey, whaddaya think you're doing, pipsqueak!?" one of the men cried, turning his gun on him. Honey smirked coldly, throwing his head back. He giggled, racing forward and leaping into the air to punch the man twice in the face before kicking him down. I watched in shock as Honey was leapt upon by four men, pinning him to the ground.

"Honey, no!" I screamed, thinking for sure he'd have been killed by the sheer combined weight. Then all four mean rose into the air and were tossed to the ground. Honey wheeled about, lashing and kicking at the two who had been sneaking closer. He rolled behind another and threw him down with an almighty slam. I was watching, dumbfounded, my eyes and mouth wide. With grunts and cries Honey darted back and forth, flipping the armoured men to the ground and beating them to pulp as easily as if they were no more than pancakes in a pan. He grabbed the final two by the arms, throwing himself forwards in a roll that slammed them to the ground in a cloud of dust and dirt. He rose slowly to his feet, brushing down his skinny bare chest. All thirty men lay in sprawled heaps around us, in various states of consciousness and bodily damage. More than one had limbs sticking out at odd angles. Honey surveyed what he had done.

"You guys should be more careful when picking who you mess with!" he called, addressing the men he had downed like toddlers, "Picking on my friends is a no-no!" Mori set me down on the ground, and I almost fell back into him with shock. I was staring at everything, feeling certain that I'd gone mad. How could Honey, or all people, manage to do…_this_?

"Haruhi!" I turned. The others were racing towards us, Tamaki at the front by a long way. "Haruhi! Are you alright?"

"Hey, it's Tama-chan!" Honey said happily.

"Oh, wow!" Hikaru exclaimed as he took in the scene.

"You okay, senpai?" Kaoru said. It was unclear to me who he was talking to.

"**_Haruhi_**!" Tamaki cried, close to tears as he raced towards me with arms outstretched. He threw them around me in a tight hug from behind, and he instantly turned on his cool Host voice, "I was worried about you, my darling… So, so worried…"

The twins bent down and began prodding and poking the twitching and groaning men on the ground.

"I don't know what happened here, but at least they're still alive," Hikaru said.

"It's pretty amazing that this is Honey-senpais work," Kaoru said. Well, obviously! He's practically nine years old, and yet he did _thi_s!? "He must've really been holding back!"

"Huh!?" I tightly pinched the skin of Tamaki's hand and peeled it away, quite ignoring his yelps of pain. "What do you mean he was holding back!?"

"So then—"

"—you don't know about senpai?" the twins said, shocked.

"The Haninozuka's are famous for their martial arts," they explained, "Not only have they helped train police and SDF forces, but they've also worked with several overseas militaries," My eyes widened at this shocking revelation. How was this possible?

"Honey-senpai in particular has been called the dreadnaught of the Haninozuka family," Kyoya said. "By the time he was in middle school he had become the World Champion in both karate and judo," I stared at the back of Honey's head, and he turned to look at me. He giggled. "I believe that I came close to telling you this a while back, but was interrupted by Tamaki seeking praise for his role of the 'lonesome prince',"

I remembered now.

"_Well, we've done this take eighteen times already. I'm kind of at the stage where I just really want Honey to punch me, so we can move on, y'know? I mean, someone his size won't be able to do much, can he?"_

_"You'd be surprised. Because little Honey, over there, used to be the—"_

_"Haruhi! Hey, Haruhi! How was my performance?"_

"Mori-senpai's no slouch, either," Tamaki said, and my gaze flicked to him. "He won the national championship in kendo when he was just in middle school," I didn't speak. I was still trying to absorb everything that had happened in the last twenty minutes.

"So how did you find us, Honey-senpai?" Hikaru asked.

"It wasn't hard," Honey replied with a smile, "It didn't take me long to reach the end of the current pool so I decided to look for you guys,"

"We humbly apologise!"

"Hm?" We all turned to see the scattered police force on their knees and grovelling before Honey's tiny frame. One had his head slightly raised to speak, his helmet battered in on one side.

"I am a second generation student of the Ishizuka Dojo!" Another man raised his head.

"I am a student of the Todoroki Dojo!"

"I am from the Otake Dojo! We are in you debt, we owe our training to you!"

"Oh, is that right?" Honey said in his high voice.

"Yes, sir!" they all said at once. "We are so sorry! We were completely unaware that we were looking for Haninozuka Mitskuni-sama, and have committed terrible offense!"

"Although accidental my dojo will take pride in the day that I was able to engage you, Mitskuni-sama, personally, for generations to come!" This was deep. No, it was way beyond deep. I felt quite faint, still entirely unable to process what I'd been through. Hone skipped over to Mori and took his hand, pulling him down to pat his head.

"Takashi," he giggled, "You did very well protecting Haru-chan! You're so nice!" He let go and put his small hands on his hips, beaming. "You didn't get lonely without me around, did you?" Mori didn't say anything for a while, before shooting a furtive glance my direction.

"I wouldn't say that," he replied. I felt my cheeks flush a little, and Honey giggled.

"Aaw, that's so sweet, Takashi!" he cried, throwing his arms around Mori's legs in a hug. He was so small that was the highest he could reach.

"I knew it!" Tamaki cried, "I just knew it! He's in love with Haruhi!" Mori shot him a silencing look, and I cuffed Tamaki across the shoulder.

"You dunce, of course he isn't," I said. The twins laughed, turning to walk away. I followed them, and the others filed after us – Honey being exalted and waved by the thirty men on the ground.

"You know where we should go next?" the twins said, stretching and putting their arms across my shoulders as I walked between them. "The beach. Wouldn't that be just awesome?"

"Oh, you idiots, Haruhi wouldn't be interested in that," Tamaki said.

"I might not mind going to the beach," I smiled. Tamaki's mouth dropped open and the twins laughed at him. "This obviously artificial location just isn't any fun for me, but the beach would actually be kinda nice. It's pretty there, and I love feeling sand beneath my feet. And natural water, with all the waves and all the things to see. It's also been quite a while for me…" I paused, suppressing a lump in my throat. "…I haven't really been since mom died…" Hikaru looked at me for a long moment, before turning his head back to Tamaki. He raised his eyebrows, as if to say 'don't you dare turn her down'.

****I made Mori hug Haruhi, rather than pat her head, because I wanted to spark a chemistry as if Haruhi really was helping to improve everyone's lives in the club; the twins being more sociable, Tamaki being a bigger/happier airhead than usual, Kyoya has someone to share intelligent conversation with (at last!) Honey can share cake with someone besides his guests, and now Mori is smiling (just a tiny bit, we can't get too carried away, can we?) and being kinda like a more normal-ish boy (I make him sound really rejected from society, but it's not exactly the most normal thing to be so straight faced...unless he's secretly Kristen Stewart...) **


	8. The Sun, the Sea and the Host Club

****To compensate for such a delay with the release of ch.7 I am giving you this chapter immediately! I had so much fun with this chapter, especially with the Kyoya/Haruhi moment (he's my second favourite Host so I didn't really mind that scene, but had that been Tamaki I might just have killed someone)**

Chapter 8

The Sun, the Sea, and the Host Club

"The…beach?" I repeated, looking from one twin to the other. "Please don't tell me you're serious?" Music Room 3 was empty apart from the three of us. I had no idea where the others were, but it at least left me some quiet to study. The table in front of me was laden with books and assorted stationary, each at a different page. But, as always with the Hitatchin twins, what little quiet there was would soon be abolished.

"Of course," they said cheerfully, speaking in their usual manner of perfect synchronization. "We're going to the beach,"

"But why?" I asked, setting down my book. "I don't think I could handle another of your 'fun' outings. Unless you've forgotten, but last week we were almost eaten by alligators, and Mori-senpai could've been arrested," They shrugged, not really bothered.

"Well, Honey-senpai cleared up the matter, didn't he?" Hikaru leaned toward me.

"That's not the point, Hika—"

"But, don't you remember what you said?" he interrupted.

"You said you'd like to go to a real beach," Kaoru leaned in too. My brow furrowed.

"Did I say that?" I asked, frowning slightly. Their faces fell, and they exchanged looks of exasperation. Then their faces curled in almost delighted smiles.

"Yes, Haruhi," they said at the same time, grinning. "You did. And now comes the fun part," They each grabbed one of my arms, and my eyes widened as they pulled me off my chair, carrying me towards the store room. I tried to dig my heels into the floor, but the twins were much taller than me. My toes barely even scuffed the tiles. I hung my head in defeat, resigning myself to the 'fun part'.

The two boys pushed open the doors, and set me down in front of them. I saw what was in front of me, and took a step back, but the doors had already swung shut. I turned my head, but the twins had stepped together in front of them. There was no way out. Opposite us was a mass of thin wooden mannequins, each decked out with a different kind of swimsuit or bikini. I gulped.

"That's right, Haruhi," the twins chorused, close to laughter. "We've brought some swimsuits for you to try. They're the latest designs from our mother's range," I said nothing, shaking my head slowly. Hikaru pushed past me, pulling a strappy bikini with a ruffled top to the front.

"Pretty cute, huh?" he asked, leaning his arm on the mannequin's shoulder. His eyes were shining with glee as they took in my confused, and slightly repulsed, expression.

"What's the point? I can't even swim, dimwits!" I scoffed. They grinned.

"Well, we can always find another use to having you in a swimsuit, Haruhi," They jogged their eyebrows up and down.

"You're sick, you know that?"

"Not that one!" a childish voice called from almost the back of the room. I realized that myself and the twins were not the only ones here.

"Oh God…" I mumbled, clapping a hand to my face. "Not you, too, Honey-senpai,"

Sure enough, Honey came skipping towards us through the sea of mannequins, holding up a frilly pink one-piece with a bunny design. He beamed, his face upturned to look at me.

"I think this one will look much cuter on Haru-chan!" he announced, his smiled widening at me. I bit my lip, trying to smile. It was a feeble attempt, making me look like I had a stomach ache. Kaoru walked up to Hikaru on the other side of the mannequin.

"I don't think he has the right 'cute' in mind," they said together, grinning. Then they turned to me, and I caught their mischievous gaze through my fingers. My eyes widened, and I took a step back, fumbling for the door handle, but they started forwards and grabbed me. They turned to face Honey.

"Just look," Hikaru said from my right. "This blazer hides the fact—"

"—that Haruhi is flat as a cutting board," Kaoru finished from my left.

"Hey, shut up!" I muttered, angry, struggling against them. "I'm perfectly fine with an A! God, you're so shallow…" Then my eyes snapped wide as I realized what I had just said. My face flushed a mortified red, and, had the twins not been holding me so tightly I would have clapped my hands to my face. They looked at one another, and then burst out laughing. "Oh crap…" I mumbled, shaking my head and just wishing that I could just sink into the floor. "Please don't tell me you heard that…?"

"Yeah," the twins replied as one, still rocking with laughter. "We did. Didn't we, guys?" I froze, my eyes wide. Oh god, oh God, oh God! Who else was here? Damn. I saw them now - Kyoya and Mori. Mental note #1; kill the twins the next time we're alone. Honey was still holding up the one-piece, upset that the twins had said no to his idea of cute. He also didn't understand what I meant by 'A'. I could see the confused furrow of his brows.

"You see, Honey-senpai," Hikaru said, in an almost kindly voice. "That one-piece—"

"—will upset Haruhi," Kaoru continued. I scowled, glaring at both of them in turn.

"Because it shows her complete absence of feminine physique," they said together. "You don't want to upset Haruhi, now, do you?"

"No!" Honey's cried. "I'm so sorry, Haru-chan! I didn't know!" He let go of the mannequin and threw his arms around my legs.

"Er…i-it's okay, Honey-senpai," I said quickly, wobbling precariously. I awkwardly patted his head, before Mori came over and hoisted him up onto his shoulders. I flashed him a silently thankful look, and he nodded curtly. The door opened as Tamaki entered, but no-one paid much attention to him.

"That's why," the twins continued, letting go of me, and standing either side of Hikaru's mannequin. "We've carefully selected this two-piece. The ruffles on the top will hide the fact she's so flat-chested,"

In the theatre of Tamaki's 'colourful' mind, he imagined me running across the beach towards him, giggling as the waves lapped my ankles, the ruffles over my chest swaying with each step. His face flushed red.

"You punks!" he cried, starting towards us. "You'd better stop sexually harassing my little girl!" The twins laughed as he came closer, and they scrambled to hide behind me. Each put a hand on one of my shoulders, peeking out from around me in mock terror. "I've had enough of you and your schemes!" They exchanged looks, and their lips drooped into over-done upside down U's.

"So I guess that means…" they sniffed, wiping away pretend tears from their eyes. "That we're not going to the beach?"

"Who says we're not going?" Tamaki said.

"Reeeaaally?" their faces lit up at an almost comical speed, and they stepped out from behind us. "So we're going, after all?"

"Yay!" Honey cried from on top of Mori' shoulders, clapping his hands enthusiastically. "Can Usa-chan come too?' he held up his pink rabbit.

"Of course, little Honey-senpai," Tamaki laughed, walking over and reaching up his hand to ruffle the little boy's hair.

"Eh…" I mumbled, "We're really gonna go?"

"Why not?" Tamaki turned, flashing me a dazzling smile. "Let's go to the beach!" he announced, and a cheer rang up from the rest of the Host Club. Calling in sick would be no use. These guys never gave up, and the twins would hunt me down until they found me and drag me to the beach themselves. Mental note #2; pack an extra large hoodie, and sit in the shade all day. There was no way on Earth that they would see me in that bloody bikini. But then another idea flashed before my eyes. Haruhi, you genius! I thought to myself.

... ….

The salty water of the sea lapped at the warm sand as we walked down the steps from the parking lot. I had remembered my hoodie, and my legs were covered by a pair of baggy shorts that could just be pulled off as boy's swimming trunks. I was wearing a self-satisfied smile on my face – my idea had pulled through. If we had just come as the Host Club, I wouldn't have had to hide that I was a girl, but I had _accidentally_ let slip our plans for a beach trip to one of my customers. The word had spread like wildfire, and before we knew it every single regular had asked to come with us. Of course, as the gracious and _wonderful _boy he was, Tamaki couldn't possibly refuse his adoring entourage.

The twins were more than a little ticked off; they had really wanted to see me in that two-piece. It would have made for quite a laugh, by their expectations. They walked a few steps behind me, muttering to one another. Behind them was a stream of giggling and chattering girls, in light summer dresses and bikinis.

"But why couldn't we have gone to the Caribbean?" Hikaru asked.

"Yeah, or Fiji?" Kaoru asked.

"This beach is privately owned by my family," Kyoya called over his shoulder. "Besides, do you really think a commoner like Haruhi has a passport?"

"You realize that I can hear what you're saying, right?" I muttered, a little annoyed. I would have thought that they could have at least stopped calling me 'commoner' by now. It had been long enough. Damn stuck-up rich people… The twins laughed, and I resisted the urge to turn round and hit them. It wasn't easy.

When our sandaled feet finally touched the golden sand, Honey had jumped from Mori's broad shoulders and raced away across the beach, carrying a bucket and spade.

"I'm going exploring!" he laughed, kicking up fine sprays of sand. "Who's coming with me?" Mori and a group of cooing and giggling girls started after him, hair and dresses streaming behind them. Usa-chan's floppy pink ears could just be seen peeking out the top of Honey's bucket. We stood watching them for a while, smiling. Then Tamaki grabbed the nearest girl's hand.

"Come, my loves," he whispered, smiling so that his dazzling white teeth glinted in the high sunlight. Casanova mode; activated. "Who wants to be the first to ride the ocean's azure, and feel the delight of cool waters, with me?" He started racing away towards the water's edge, pulling the girl with him. Most of the others screamed in delight, picking up their skirts and hurrying after them.

Kaoru jumped on Hikaru's back, kicking him on like a horse. Kyoya rolled his eyes, starting away down the beach, and setting out a large blanket and the baskets. It wasn't long before the umbrella was up too.

"Come on, Hikaru," Kaoru laughed, pointing towards the farthest point of the beach. "I heard there's a really cool cave over there, but we have to catch it at low tide! You coming, Haruhi?"

"No thanks," I said, "I think I should stay with the rest of the girls. You can't have them all alone on an outing like this, can you?" The girls around me sighed contentedly, flashing adoring smiles and giggles at one another.

"Aww, really?" Hikaru asked, his face falling.

"You're no fun," Kaoru pouted.

"Is it because you're afraid of the dark?" they asked together. I shook my head, smiling. In truth, there was almost nothing that frightened me any more. After over ten years of growing up without a mother to protect me, I had simply learned to deal with things by myself. "You sure?" they asked again, frowning sceptically at me. I laughed, shaking my head again. They looked at each other, then back to me. "Then we'll just have to find out what you're afraid of, instead,"

"Try all you want," I laughed, grinning. "Good luck. You'll need it," They scowled, but then Hikaru turned and ran away, Kaoru whooping on his back. I turned to the girls, finding that about six were left, and offered them my arms; I was here now, even if it was against my will, so I still had to behave like a Host. "Ladies," I said with a smile. They took my arms, three on each side, giggling madly. We took a long walk around the beach; past Tamaki and the girls splashing one another and swimming in the sea, Honey and Mori making a large sandcastle for Usa-chan to live in, and even the twins throwing large clumps of seaweed at each other at the entrance to the famed cave. I had to admit the cave was a little scary, shaped like a human skull, with a large jagged mouth-shaped entrance, and two rough hollows above it like eyes.

Finally we returned to the main area of the beach, and sat down together on the blanket. I had no intention of swimming today, plus I didn't know what the point in trying would be. I couldn't swim, anyway, so why would I now? The girls were quite content with chatting to one another. About an hour passed, and everyone was doing different things now; the twins were taking turns to dive off the top of the skull-like cave, Honey and Mori were now shell-fish collecting with the girls, and Tamaki was on a sort of routine to sit alone with every one of his entourage on a set of rocks out away from the beach. Kyoya was at the head of the line with his little black book, keeping the girls in order. I heard almost the same words every few minutes when Tamaki sat with different girl. I was growing exceedingly bored.

"The ocean is so beautiful," the girl beside him sighed, her arm wrapped around his waist, as they gazed at the horizon. "Tamaki, looking out at the sea…it's like a dream,"

"It's no dream," he said softly, stroking through her long brown hair. "It's real. But if I could have my way," He bent down over her, their faces inches apart. Her cheeks flushed pink, and she gazed longingly into his deep blue eyes. "My princess…I'd be in your dreams every night,"

"Oh, Tamaki…" she breathed, batting her long eyelashes. I rolled my eyes, sighing. I pulled my legs up to my chest, staring at the sand. I watched boredly as a hermit crab scuttled past, thinking that even a crab could do what he wanted. But I was stuck on this beach, in a stifling hot hoodie, bored out of my wits. I couldn't swim, I couldn't remove my hoodie for fear of discovery, and I most definitely couldn't stand to listen to one more Tamaki's dream-boy pick-up lines.

"This sucks," I mumbled, "I thought going to the beach meant a day off," I wasn't so pleased with myself about attracting all the girls on the outing anymore. I was even angry that I had mentioned the beach, in the first place, when we were at the resort. I had quite forgotten the girls around me, but they hadn't heard me. Thankfully. They got to their feet, dropping their towels and tying up their hair.

"Hey, Haruhi," one of them said, and I looked round. "Would you like to come swimming with us?" Oh no, what do I say? If I say that I can't swim they'll only feel sorry for me and stay here, but if I agree then I'll look like an idiot in front of everybody! What do I say? _What do I say?_ Think, you idiot, think!

"No thanks," I said, "I like just looking at the sea from this distance," Lame! God, that was all I could think of? I'm such an idiot, how will they ever believe that excuse?

"Okay," one of them smiled, "Then maybe we could just stay here and talk with you, some more?" Oh no, please don't! You'll get so bored, you have no idea! Okay, think, Haruhi! You are a Host, and it is your job to entertain these young ladies. _Think, you idiot! __**You moron!**_Okay, okay, what would Tamaki say in this situation…

"But why?" I asked, flashing them a smile. I felt like an idiot. It was my last resort to act like Tamaki Suoh. I would never speak of this to anyone. "You girls should go swim, and enjoy yourselves. Besides…" I couldn't believe I was saying this. "…girls in such cute swimsuits, why don't you show them off?" The girls burst into fits of giggles, hurrying off past me towards the water. They rushed past the twins, who stopped before their toes were crushed by them.

"I'm still kinda pissed that she brought all the ladies with us," Hikaru said, looking at me.

"I thought that was the whole point of this all-expenses-aid trip," Kyoya said, coming up behind them. "After all, we are Hosts, and we are set to entertaining them,"

"Yeah," Hikaru admitted glumly. "But now—"

"—we'll never get to see Haruhi in her swimsuit," Kaoru finished. Tamaki looked up. He had just been coming out of the water, a beach ball held under his arm. There was a glint in his eye, and he smiled knowingly.

"Oh, don't you worry yourself about that," he said coolly, "I've got it all under control," The twins raised their eyebrows, looking from one another to Tamaki. "My little angel shouldn't be prancing around in a swimsuit, showing her bare legs and chest…at least not in front of two perverts like you," He laughed, ruffling up his thick blonde hair. The twins rolled their eyes, preparing themselves for Tamaki's dramatic-probably-never-going-to-happen-glimpse into the future through the theatre of his mind.

"Here he goes, again," they muttered, folding their arms and standing back to watch him.

"And then," Tamaki had started the wonderful insight to his future with me, exactly how he planned the evening to go. "Just as the sun begins to set, two figures walk alone through the splashing waters of the bubbling sea. Such a romantic stroll, just the two of them, a girl and a boy alone together.

'Oh, wow,' the girl whispers, shielding her eyes with a delicate hand as she gazes out to the horizon. 'What a beautiful sunset,' The girl turns to face the boy, gazing up into his handsome face. 'Oh, Tamaki, I'd love to be with you here, forever…' The boy laughs, an arm around her petit waist, and the two lean toward one another in a romantic embrace.'

"It'll happen just like that!" Tamaki cried, his hands over his flushed cheeks as he stared up at the blue sky overhead. "The greatest day of my life! Oh, I just can't handle it!" The twins looked at one another, eyebrows raised. They shrugged, then turned to push Tamaki to the ground. He fell backwards, his head going under the water. He resurfaced, spluttering, slimy tendrils of green seaweed flopping down over his face. "**You little brats**!" he shouted, springing to his feet as the twins turned to run away, crying out with laughter. "**I'll get you for that!**"

I watched them run past, the twins never quite letting him catch them. I laughed, not unkindly, as Tamaki made a wild swipe and landed headfirst in the sand. I got up, pondering whether to help him or not, when I heard someone calling me.

"Haru-chan!" I looked around. Honey was skipping towards me, holding out his spade to me. "Haru-chan! Want to go hellfish shunting?" I turned my head to look at Tamaki, still on the ground, but now surrounded by a crowd of concerned girls. He's fine, I told myself. Probably milking it for all it was worth.

"Sure," I said, turning back to Honey with a smile. "But I think you mean _sh_ellfish _h_unting, Honey-senpai. Where do you think we should start?" He grabbed hold of my hand, grinning. He led me towards a clump of rocks close by, where there was a small warren of tide pools. I bent down, smiling. I had to admit, it was amazing. Starfish, crabs, all manner of pretty little shells, and even some tiny fish left behind by the tide.

"Isn't it pretty, Haru-chan?" he asked, his eyes bright and shining like a child that had just been given a particularly large lollipop.

"Yeah," I admitted, reaching out and stroking a crab's brittle shell. "It is. Very," It was my first time ever doing something like this, or at least the first time that I could remember. Honey and I scouted the pools, collecting all of the nicest things we could find. What surprised me was quite how fun I found it. After about half an hour, Mori and the girls came round the sides of the rocks.

"Look, Takashi!" Honey giggled, holding up a bucket of crabs and urchins. "Look how much we found! Isn't it great?" Mori smiled, the girls cooing over what a precious, clever little thing he was.

"We're going to have some fancy side-dishes, tonight," I said happily. "It's going to be delicious!" For one of the first times in my life I was brimming with happiness. I was finally going to be able to eat crab! And urchins! Lobster! Scallops! It was like a dream come true for someone like me. Tamaki had finally gotten up, and had started looking for us, still followed by the crowd of girls.

He looked around the beach, seeing his fellows having so much fun.

"My, my," he said warmly, watching the twins playing volleyball with a pair of girls. "It certainly seems like everybody's enjoying themselves,"

"Senpai!" I called from behind the rocks. I started scrambling up the jagged rock face, pulling myself over the ledge. He looked round, seeing me standing on top of the rocks with Honey, holding out a bucket of shellfish. "Dinner's gonna be awesome! It's a major haul!"

"Oh, this makes me so proud!" Tamaki cooed, his hands either side of his face. "Look at my little girl!" The twins were coming up behind him, trying to stifle their laughter. "She's so cute! I can't belie—" The twins jumped on him from behind, knocking him onto the sand. The girls around him giggled, and he leapt to his feet. "_I'm going to __**kill **__you!_"

"Two against one!" they laughed, Hkaru grabbing him by the arms, and holding him tightly, Kaoru seizing his legs. Tamaki wasn't able to so much as kick them.

"Hey, guys!" I called, jumping down from the rocks. "It's a major haul! Just look at it!" The twins looked from each other to me.

"Say what?" they asked, loosening their grip slightly. Tamaki kicked at Kaoru, who dropped him, and he pulled himself free of Hikaru. He knocked the twins' heads together, and they slipped sideways, clutching the sides of their heads. Tamaki winked at me, and I laughed. An enormous crab scuttled past, and my eyes lit up. It was the biggest thing I had ever seen. Tamaki noticed, and hastily bent down and picked it up.

"Tell me Haruhi, isn't this crab…_crab_tivating?" His pun was lame. Terrible, even. So bad that I laughed. The twins grimaced.

"Ha ha, yeah," I replied, grinning. Tamaki sighed contentedly.

"You're so cute…" he mumbled.

"Oh, come on!" Hikaru groaned. "We could've come up with something better than _that_!" The crab clicked its large orange pincers indignantly, and an enormous sleek black creature scuttled across its back. The girls screamed, leaping back from us.

"Cen—"

"—ti—"

"—pede!" they shrieked.

"Uurgh, it's so gross!"

"Slimy! Tamaki, do something!" Tamaki seemed almost as repulsed as the girls. I rolled my eyes, reaching out and plucking the poor creature from the crab. I walked over to the rocks and dropped it over the side. It fell into one of the tide pools; a complete accident. I felt almost guilty. The twins came up behind me, leaning their arms on my shoulders.

"Hey, Haruhi," they said, the girls too far away to hear them.

"I know that most girls aren't the bug loving type," Hikaru said.

"And I certainly didn't think that you were, but," Kaoru said.

"Don't you think you could have been a little easier on that guy?" speaking the words at exactly the same time, shaking their heads disapprovingly. I looked back to the tide pool, to see the centipede wriggling through a crevice just above the waterline. I smiled, in a self-satisfied way.

"It takes a lot more than that to kill a centipede," I said assertively, ducking back from between them, and they fell into each other.

"Oh, Haruhi's so brave," I heard a voice say behind me. I looked round, to see all the girls coming back, smiling affectionately at me. Tamaki was still holding the giant crab, his mouth hanging slightly open. His cheeks flushed a little pinker than usual as the girls walked past him.

"You're so sweet!"

"You just saved us from that little monster, when nobody else moved!"

"Thank you so much!"

The twins scoffed, pushing through the girls towards Tamaki.

"Well, isn't that just great?" they muttered to one another. Tamaki was staring at me, the girls surrounding me in a swarm of thanks. "She's the only girl not afraid of bugs. I swear she's immune to everything!"

"I'm sure she's afraid of something…" Tamaki said quietly, frowning at me. "But what?" The crab decided it had had enough of this annoying boy holding it aloft, and clipped its large pincers around his thumb. Tamaki cried out, dropping the crab and stuffing his thumb in his mouth. The crab scuttled off as fast as its spindly legs would carry it. The twins looked at one another, their faces lighting up like a light bulb.

"Hey, boss!" they said together. "Listen up!" Tamaki looked round, his thumb still inside his mouth. "We just thought up a new game to play, that we think will be a lot of fun. What do you say?"

"Go on," Tamaki said, his voice slightly muffled by the digit in his mouth. The twins grinned in an almost devilish manner.

"It's called the 'Who can find out Haruhi's weakness?' game!" they chorused, giving him the thumbs up. Tamaki pulled his thumb from his mouth, glaring at them. "So, think you're up to it?"

"Absolutely not!" he said indignantly, "That game sounds terrible! I don't want to frighten my little girl on purpose!"

"Oh, guess you're right," the twins said, pouting their lips in mock apology, turning to walk away. "Besides, she'd only share a weakness with someone she's really close to," Tamaki's eyes widened.

"Yeah, someone she trusted completely," Hikaru said, shooting a glance back at Tamaki, grinning.

"Someone she knew would keep her safe," Kaoru said, grinning as well.

"Too bad you don't want to play, boss," they said, winking at each other.

"W-what are the rules?" Tamaki cried. The twins stopped, turning back to look at him, broad grins on their faces.

"Now that's more like it!" they said, "The deadline is sunset tomorrow. Whoever finds out her weakness, first, wins!" Kyoya appeared behind them, smiling deviously. The sun reflected off his glasses, making him look almost evil.

"And I have the perfect prize for this game's lucky winner," he grinned, reaching inside his jacket and pulling out some pieces of paper. He held them up, revealing them to be a set of old photographs. Hikaru, Kaoru and Tamaki's mouths dropped open, their eyes wide. "A set of photographs of Haruhi when she was in middle school,"

Honey and Mori appeared, Honey sitting astride Mori's shoulders.

"We want to play too!" Honey cried, "I love playing games! Especially with all of you!" Tamaki started forwards, trying to snatch the photos from Kyoya's hand. Kyoya moved them from side to side, up and down, Tamaki swiping madly for them.

"Where did you get these?" he asked, almost angrily, "Kyoya, give them to me now! What are you even doing with these in your pocket? Let – me – see!" He made another wild attempt to grab them, but fell sideways to the ground. "**_Kyoya_****!**" he shouted, his face stuck in a hole in the sand, his voice muffled by the ground; the twins took the opportunity to kick his backside.

"I guess it's decided then," Kyoya said with a small laugh. "I guess this means we're all competing," Tamaki jumped to his feet, fuming as he brushed away the sand powdering his face and hair.

"**_Where did you get those pictures of Haruhi!?_**"

"Wait a minute," Honey said, jumping down from Mori' shoulders. "Where _did_ you get those pictures, Kyo-chan?" Kyoya laughed, tapping his nose in an infuriating manner.

"I have my sources," he said coolly. "How about we just leave it at that for the moment?" The twins shrugged, extending their hands.

"Gentlemen," they said. Kyoya put his hand on theirs; although he already had the reward in his pocket he figured it would be an interesting experience, to both play a game and aggravate Tamaki at the same time. Mori hitched up Honey on his hip, and the two placed their hands on top – one very large, the other very small. Tamaki scowled at Kyoya, but put his hand on top nevertheless. "And so…"

"Let the games begin!" they all said together, however Mori remained silent as the grave. By this time I was coming over, curious as to what they were all doing together.

"Hey, guys!" I said, smiling. "What's going on? Having a party without me?" I laughed. They all looked at one another, and then each made a wild swipe for me. I jumped back, my eyes wide. "Okay, anybody want to fill me i—aargh!" The twins grabbed me by either arm, and started racing away down the beach. The others started after us, determined to find out my phobia before anybody else.

"Hey, ladies," the twins called to a group of girls as we passed. "We're going to go exploring, but we're going to need some pretty girls like you to keep us from getting too scared," The girls' faces lit up, and they giggled madly. They hitched up their skirts, dropped their towels and ran after us, laughing to one another.

They led us to the skull shaped cave. It was low tide by now, and the receded waters allowed us entrance through the gnarled mouth passageway. The twins lit a torch, and led us inside.

"This is the place," they said in mysterious voices. "It's the most haunted spot in all of the country. Not even the locals come out here,"

"They say that the only time you can find this cave is at low tide," Hikaru said, holding the hand of one of the shivering girls. Water was dripping from above us, jagged rocks and what looked uncomfortably like bones littering the ground beneath our feet.

"Evidently," Kaoru continued, swinging the torch to illuminate the rough stone walls. "Many people have died down here, from drowning," Hikaru let go of the girl's hand, lost amid the shadows of the dark cave. "Their souls lost amid the darkness, waiting to attack anyone who comes inside!"

"_Look_!" came Hikaru's voice. Kaoru screamed, holding the torch above his head and spinning round. In an alcove above us was a large black shape, shaking angrily. It had glowing yellow eyes, and bones for hands. It laughed maniacally, and the girls screamed, turning to run back towards the light of the beach outside. The shape disappeared, and I heard a dull cricking behind me. A skeletal hand landed on my shoulder, and I turned my head to look at it.

"What's going on? I asked Hikaru, who was crouching behind me, holding up the bony hand. "Are you guys trying to freak me out, or something?"

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, a little annoyed.

"Yeah," Kaoru said, "I thought everyone was afraid of ghosts,"

"I've never seen one," I said, shrugging, "So why should I be afraid of something that probably isn't even there?" Paranormal fear strategy; FAILED. The twins sighed, walking dejectedly back towards the entrance. I watched after them, a little confused. "Hey, guys! Was it something I said?" When we got back outside I saw the others waiting for us.

"She's all yours," the twins said, walking back over to apologize to the girls they had scared.

"All yours?" I repeated. "I'm not a piece of property, you jer—aargh!" Mori had picked me up, Honey grabbing hold of my legs and holding them above his head. "Hey, let me go! What the hell is with you guys, today?" They started away across the beach, Tamaki and Kyoya knocking their heads together as they tried to grab me.

"Come on, Haru-chan!" Honey said cheerfully, "We're playing a game!"

"Honey-senpai!" I cried, trying to pull free of the two of them. "_I don't feel like playing!_" Mori put a hand over my mouth. I rolled my eyes, resigning myself to this 'game'. Mental note #3; forget the twins, kill them all. Up ahead I saw a large truck, painted completely black. I frowned as we approached. How the hell did that get there? And why? They carried me inside up the ramp, and Mori pulled the back down after he had dropped me inside with Honey.

"See, isn't this a fun game?" Honey giggled, holding me tightly. It was pitch black inside, and I had no idea how much space there was to move around. I decided not to even try moving, just to sit still and do nothing. "I'm going to win for sure!"

"Right…yeah…" I mumbled. "_Fun_…" We sat in silence for a few seconds.

"It's dark and scary in here!" Honey cried, "I can't breathe! Oh, Takashi, help me! I don't like it! Monsters are going to come and—"

"Honey-senpai, calm down!" I said, trying to shush him.

"I can't! I don't like it, I don't like it! I want my Usa-chan! Where is he?"

"Honey-senpai, I'm here," I sighed, reaching out and patting what I hoped was his head in a sympathetic manner. "It's alright. Just be quiet until the doors go back up," He sniffled, clutching me tightly. Claustrophobia attack strategy; FAILED.

The doors cranked up, and Honey immediately let go of me and leapt down onto the sand. I got to my feet, and was about to jump down, when a sharp knife came inches from my face. I looked down it to see Mori brandishing it at me.

"Jeez, Mori-senpai," I said, lowering it with my hand. "You need to be more careful. You might hurt somebody," I jumped down, clapping him on the shoulder before I turned away. Fear of sharp objects strategy; FAILED. I walked past the twins, who were sitting together on a wall. I waved as I passed, and they waved back feebly.

"This game's harder than I thought it'd be," Hikaru sighed.

"I agree," Kaoru replied, "I'm totally bored with it already,"

"What kind of heroine _is_ she?" Hikaru asked, narrowing his eyes at me as I walked down the beach. "I mean, she's gotta be afraid of something, right?" The twins sighed, bowing their heads in defeat.

"Aha!" a triumphant voice sounded from the bushes behind them. They turned to see Tamaki fumbling with something on the ground, a bowl clutched in his fingers. "I've got you! Thought you could get away from the great Tamaki Suoh, did you? Well, think again!"

"What's up, Boss?" they asked, confused. "What are you doing in the bushes?"

"I found the perfect thing for this game!" Tamaki said, straightening up. He offered forward the bowl, and the twins recoiled slightly. "I found some ratsnakes. I'm certain she's gonna freak out when she sees these!"

"Anyone would think those are creepy," Hikaru admitted, eyeing the hissing snakes with distaste. "So it isn't really a weakness," Kaoru leaned in closer, examining the slowly coiling reptiles.

"Hold on a second," he said, frowning. "I didn't think there _were_ any ratsnakes around here…?" Tamaki's eyes widened, and he looked agitatedly at the snakes in his bowl. "So what exactly _have _you been collecting?"

Ahead on the beach, I was collecting more shellfish. Urchins mostly, but the occasional crab as well, trying hard not to prick my fingers on the sharp spines. I picked up a particularly large purple urchin, dropping it triumphantly into my bucket.

"Another side-dish," I said proudly, "Man, today has been awesome,"

"Look up here, Haruhi!" a girl's voice came from above me. I looked up, to see a group of about four girls standing on top of a pile of high rocks. They were about twenty feet above me, and couldn't help feel just a little bit scared that they would fall and hurt themselves, somehow.

"Hey, Haruhi!" another called, "What's up?"

"The breeze up here feels great! You should join us!"

"It's dangerous up there!" I called, "You girls should be careful, okay?" I waved, and turned away. They waved after me, giggling.

"Oh, he's so sweet!" one of them said. "He's always being so careful to keep us safe!" Behind them, a group of boys was coming up the rocks. The first threw aside an empty beer can, and it clanged against the rock; metal on stone. The girls turned round in surprise.

"Hey, there, babe," he called, whistling at one of them. "Yo, guys!" he called behind him. "We got us some chicks up here!"

"Dayum!" the second said, leaning on his friend's shoulder. "You girls are pretty cute. Whaddaya say you hang out with a couple of locals?" The boys started forwards, and the girls huddled together.

"No thanks," the first girl said. Below on the sand, the beer can clanged against a rock behind me. I turned round, startled. I saw the dented shape shining in the slowly setting sun, and I walked over, bending down to pick it up. I looked around me in confusion, and then up. I saw the group of boys moving closer to the girls - backing away towards the edge. My eyes narrowed coldly, and I pick up my bucket of urchins, starting towards the rocks.

"Please, just leave us alone," one of the girls said, frightened.

"Aww, come on, baby" a boy said, grabbing her by the wrist. "We just wanna show you ladies a good time. So whaddaya say?"

"This is a private beach!" another girl said, stepping towards them angrily. "You guys are _not_ allowed to be here, so just go away,"

"Private?" another boy asked, wrapping his arms around her and her friend. They cried out, trying to throw him off. "So does that mean we're alone?" I got to the top, and saw that there were four boys. I raised my bucket of shellfish, and hurled the contents at the nearest two. Almost forty assorted types of urchin and crab latched onto them, sharp spines and pincers digging into their skin. They screamed, jumping around like madmen, falling into each other.

"Why don't you just quit bothering them?" I shouted, and all four turned to face me, glowering. "This is a private beach, weren't you listening? You better just leave them alone!"

"Haruhi!" the girls cried.

"You little runt!" one of the boys cried, pulling a crab from his back and throwing it at me. I picked up a rock and hurled it at them. They leapt aside, letting go of the girls.

"All of you, get out of here!" I cried, and they ran away from the boys before they could get caught and held back. "I'll take care of them!" They turned to run away down the rocks.

"Oh my god, Tamaki you idiot!" Kaoru cried, leaping back from the wall. "Those are poisonous!" Hikaru and Tamaki shouted out, and Tamaki dropped the bowl and ran for it. The snakes were angry about being dropped from so high, and hissed menacingly. They started after the three boys sprinting away across the sand.

"Tamaki! Hikaru! Kaoru!" the girls cried, hurrying down the beach towards them. "You've got to come quick! He's in trouble!"

"What?" Tamaki asked, "What's going on? Who's in trouble?"

"It's Haruhi!" they cried. The boys stopped, their eyes wide.

"We were on top of the rocks, and there were these mean boys, but Haruhi tried to protect us," a girl explained. Tamaki pushed past them, sprinting flat out. "Please hurry! He's outnumbered four to one!"

"I'm on it!" Tamaki called back. Hikaru started after him, sprinting flat out; Kaoru looked on it shock. Soon Hikaru was running side by side with Tamaki, who looked at him with a double take. "Hikaru, what are you doing!?"

"I want to help with Haruhi!"

"It's too dangerous, you idiot!" Tamaki cried. "You go back, right now, and look after those girls! _I'm_ going after them!" And with that he sped on, Hikaru slowing to a halt. He scowled.

"Yes, _sir_," he muttered, turning back.

"What was that all about, Hikaru?" Kaoru asked as his brother returned.

"Nothing, so just shut up about it," was the reply. "C'mon," Hikaru took the arms of two girls and began leading them away. Kaoru followed. Hikaru couldn't help himself from shooting an anxious look back to the rocks over his shoulder, where the Tamaki could just be seen scrambling up the side. At the top two boys held me tightly by the arms, pushing me back towards the edge of the rocks.

"What are you gonna do now, huh, loser?" another said, punching me in the stomach, winding me. I had tried to fight, I really had. There were too many of them for me to take, unarmed as I was.

"So now how're you gonna act all tough, you little sissy boy?" one of them holding me jeered. I groaned in pain, slumping to my knees. My hands were clenched into fists, my teeth bared against the pounding ache. I struggled against them, but I couldn't break free.

"Hey, I got an idea," the one who punched me said. "How'd you like to take a dip?" My eyes widened in fright. No! I couldn't swim! I was going to die!

"Haruhi!" a voice shouted from behind the boy. Tamaki was there, shaking with anger. He saw me, held over the edge by the two boys.

"Senpai!" I cried, struggling against the two holding me, kicking for all it was worth to reach the rocks. My sandaled feet scrabbled against it, but I couldn't shake myself free without falling.

"Hope you can swim!" the boys laughed, throwing me back into the air. I screamed as their arms left me, the rocks and water below zooming up for a painful death. Tamaki sprinted forwards, throwing the boys aside.

"_Hold on_!" he cried, leaping over the edge after me. I hit the water, hard, the breath crushed from my lungs with the pain of impact. I hadn't hit any of the rocks, but the pain pulsing through every inch of me seemed almost equivalent to what could have happened. I was sinking fast through the cold water, my chest and back aching. An explosion of foam and bubbles signalled Tamaki's entry to the water, and his arms spread wide to propel himself deeper. He was swimming towards me, his eyes set on my limp body. His feet were kicking furiously, his arms working to reach me as fast as he could. I could see him coming closer, but my eyes were hazy and slowly closing. The salty water stung them like wasps; I could feel the black dregs of unconsciousness eating away at the corners of my vision. Streams of tiny bubbles were trailing from Tamaki's mouth as he swam closer, his face screwed up in determination.

I weakly reached out a hand to him, but then the light faded entirely from my eyes. My head slipped back, my eyes closing as I fell unconscious. A large bubble of air languidly rolled from my open mouth, floating up to the surface. Tamaki grabbed my hand, pulling me closer to him. He hooked an arm around my waist, and turned so that he was kicking upwards, pulling me with him. The surface was coming closer and closer, daylight just beyond our reach. Tamaki's head burst through the surface, and he gasped for breath, struggling to keep my head afloat. I was limp in his arms, my head lolling against my chest. He kicked for shore, and hauled me out onto the wet sand, coughing and spluttering.

He retched, throwing up a small piece of green seaweed and salty water. He shook his head vigorously, and wiped his eyes, looking over to me. I was barely breathing, my eyelids fluttering. My sodden clothes clung to my skin – if any of the girls were still around I would be found out in an instant. Sand caked into my sopping wet hair, the waves just lapping at my limp feet.

"Haru…hi?" he whispered, but I didn't move. "Haruhi?" he repeated, slightly louder. The rest of the Host Club was coming closer, their faces worried. Tamaki bent over me, his hands cupping either side of my face. "Haru!" he shouted. "Haruhi!" I groaned, not opening my eyes.

"Oh, shut up…" I breathed, "I really can't handle you right now…" His face relaxed, and he let out a sigh of relief. "Now would you get your hands off me?" He hastily withdrew his hands from my face, laughing nervously. I slowly opened my eyes, propping myself up on my elbows. Every inch of me ached and throbbed, and it hurt to breathe. I stumbled as I tried to stand up, slumping to my knees. Hikaru put an arm around my shoulders, helping me stand upright. I wavered for a moment before I was able to stand.

"Thanks," I said weakly, and he let go.

"Haru-chan!" Honey cried, close to tears, throwing his arms around my legs so that I fell backwards into Tamaki. "I was scared, Haru-chan! I didn't want you to die!"

"It's okay," I said softly, my voice still fairly weak, bending down and stroking his hair. "Don't worry, Honey-senpai. I'm alright,"

"Where'd they go?" Tamaki asked, accepting a towel from Kyoya. He wasn't wearing his glasses.

"We took their ID cards," Kyoya explained, "and asked them politely to leave," Hikaru wrapped a towel around my shoulders, and he and Kaoru started rubbing my arms to warm me up. "The girls all went back to the hotel, and I called a doctor. He should be arriving here any minute now,"

"Thank you," Tamaki said gratefully, rubbing his hair with the towel. Kyoya nodded his head matter-of-factly. "No, no, Kyoya. I mean it; thank you,"

"I'm fine, you guys," I said, "Really. I don't need a doctor," Tamaki faltered, dropping his towel and looking at me. "Jeez, you're acting like I'm so innocent and helpless that I can't handle something like this,"

"What were you thinking?" he asked, his voice low and sounding almost angry. I turned to look at him, surprised. "You know, you're not like Honey-senpai or Mori-senpai, you're not a martial arts master. You don't have the height or strength of myself or the twins, or the brains of Kyoya," He bent down and took hold of my shoulders, staring straight into my eyes. "Why did you confront them? What made you think you would stand a chance? A weak little girl like you against four boys?" I shook him off, angry.

"Why should it matter that they're boys and I'm a girl?" I asked hotly, "I was there, I had to do_ something_! There wasn't any time to think or—"

"There's no excuse, you idiot!" Tamaki shouted, making me fall silent. "Don't forget you're a girl!" I scowled at him.

"Look, I'm sorry you had to save me, senpai," I spat, "If you would prefer me dead, then fine! I just don't understand why you're so mad at me, right now. Being a girl has _nothing_ to do with it! As far as I know, I didn't do anything wrong!" There was silence for a painfully long time, Tamaki and I glaring at one another.

"You don't think so…?" he said quietly. I said nothing, refusing to agree that being a girl had anything to do with what happened. "Fine. Whatever you say," He pushed past me, walking stiffly away towards the steps to the villa and hotel. "But I'm not speaking to you until you can admit that you are wrong!" I looked back over my shoulder at him, seething with anger. I had done nothing, absolutely_ nothing _that could possibly have upset him. There was silence for a very long time. A very uncomfortable silence.

"Well, this is all very awkward," the twins said.

…. ….

"Ta-daaa!" Honey announced, "Here you go!" He and Mori were holding steaming platters of crab and lobster, the fruits of today's haul. "Don't they look yummy?" They brought them towards the dining table, setting them down on either side of the vase of flowers.

"I apologize that there aren't any maids around to help you cook," Kyoya said, getting up from his seat by the window. Still his face was bare, his glasses gone. "It's the least we could do, if you're all staying in my family's villa,"

"It's no big deal," Honey replied, "We appreciate you letting us stay here," The twins were sitting together on the floor, having a staring contest. It was the only thing they could do in the elaborate dining room with causing havoc. They only agreed to stay quiet because Kyoya could turn pure evil if you upset him. "Hey, Takashi, will you go and get Haru-chan? I think she should come down now,"

Tamaki stiffened in his chair, turning moodily away to stare out the window. Honey skipped over to him, looking out as well. They heard the door close as Mori came to get me.

"It's awfully gloomy out there, huh?" Honey commented, surveying the darkening sky. Stormy clouds were skidding across it, blown by strong winds. "It looks like it's gonna rain, doesn't it, Tama-chan?" Tamaki said nothing, but nodded once.

"It's not just gloomy outside," the twins said, still not blinking. "It's pretty depressing in here, as well. Just take a look at Tamaki-senpai,"

"Come on, quit moping, Boss," Hikaru said, unblinking.

"Yeah, you really shouldn't have picked a fight with her," Kaoru said, unblinking.

"When it's so obvious you want to talk to her already," they finished. The door opened, and the twins allowed themselves to blink at the same time to look round. I was standing in the doorway, in a light blue dress, Mori behind me. Honey's eyes lit up when he saw me.

` "Ooooh…" he cooed, smiling. "You look like a princess, Haru-chan!"

"Haruhi, where'd you get that dress?" the twins asked, scrambling to their feet and hurrying over. Tamaki risked a quick glance in my direction, and wished he hadn't. I'd been watching him as soon as the door opened, and when he looked round our eyes met in an instant. He whipped back round, his face going red.

"It was my mum's," I shrugged, "I don't know how it ended up in my suitcase, though. My dad must've repacked when I wasn't there," The twins grinned at each other. "He's always trying to get me to wear these girly things,"

"That's awesome," the twins gave me the thumbs up. "Way to go, dad,"

"Whatever," I sighed. Then I caught sight of the table, laden with crabs and lobster. "Hey, is that what I think it is?"

"It sure is," the twins chorused, offering forward their arms. "Mademoiselle," I shrugged, rolling my eyes, but took their arms all the same. They sat me down in the middle of three chairs on one side, and expected them to sit beside me, but they didn't. Instead they rushed around to the other side and sat together opposite me. Honey skipped to sit next to Hikaru, followed by Mori. Kyoya sat down next to me. I realized then what the twins were up to. The only spare seat was next to me. The spare seat for Tamaki.

"I'm going to _kill_ you two…" I hissed under my breath. They winked at me. Mental note #4; kill the Hitatchin twins in the most brutal way possible. I heard footsteps approaching, and soon the chair beside me was scraped back. Tamaki sat down, stone faced and agitated. The hand he rested on the table was shaking slightly. None of us spoke, the grandfather clock in the corner ticking by loudly. And yet I still refused to admit that I was wrong. I was staring fixedly at my hands, twisting in my lap. Occasionally Tamaki would glance sideways at me, but when I looked back he flushed red and hastily looked away. I could hear the twins trying to stifle their laughter. I shot a dirty look across at them, wringing my hands together underneath the tablecloth. There was silence for a while, broken only by the twin's muffled laughter.

"Ha ha…l-let's dig in, everyone," Honey laughed nervously. Gladly. I pulled a plate of crab towards me, its spindly legs sticking out at odd angles. I had no idea how to eat it. I shot a sideways glance at Kyoya. He broke off a leg, and snapped it in two at the joint, taking a bite out of the soft flesh inside. I reached for my own crab, its beady black eyes watching me. I gulped, spinning the plate around so that the crab stared at the twins instead. I snapped off a leg, and broke it in two like Kyoya. The meat was fleshy pink and floppy. I shrugged. I'd been waiting this long to try it, who cares what it looks like? I took a small bite, the taste of well cooked seafood filling my mind. It was quite possibly the greatest thing I had ever tasted.

I hastily finished it, and picked up another one. Tamaki flinched as I cracked it open, tentatively reaching for his own. I ate faster than anybody else at the table, barely even stopping to breathe. I had never had such good food in my life, and wasn't going to stop for anything. I'd eaten my way through almost three whole crabs when Tamaki's voice _graced_ us for the first time since that afternoon.

"Don't you think you've had enough, Haruhi?" he asked, eyeing the plate of empty crab shells and legs. "Give it a rest, or you'll throw up,"

"Excuse me?" I said unconcernedly, snapping open another leg. "I thought you weren't speaking to me?" He looked as though I had just punched him. Hard.

"You…trying to be cute?" he tried to keep his voice calm, but he was shaking. I looked sideways at him, scowling. He sighed, and threw his napkin onto the table. He stood up, his chair scraping back loudly across the marble tiles. "Okay, fine. I get it. It seems you refuse to admit you were wrong, to me. Well, see if I care! I'm going to bed," I watched him go, and felt like throwing the leg in my hands at him. I could probably make the shot, he wasn't too far away. I readied my arm to throw, and the twins realized what I was about to do. They crossed their fingers, whispering bets to one another, but then Kyoya stood up.

"I'll show you to your room," he said, getting to his feet. "Excuse me, everyone," He walked away after Tamaki, the doors swinging shut behind them. Anger was boiling in my stomach, and I dropped the crab leg onto my plate. I didn't feel very good. I thought that I might actually feel bad about what happened. Hikaru sighed, reaching a hand in his pocket. Kaoru smiled in a self-satisfied way, and there was a quiet _chink_ of coins as Hikaru stuffed them in his open hand.

"Maybe…" I whispered, staring at my plate. "Maybe he was right. Maybe I _should_ learn to protect myself…" '_Why did you confront them? What made you think you would stand a chance? A weak little girl like you against four boys?_' The twins exchanged looks.

"So that's it," they said, "he got to you, huh?"

"I mean, he probably is right," Hikaru said. "It wouldn't hurt for you to learn martial arts, or something,"

"But we're hardly going to force you, right?" Kaoru continued. I said nothing.

"But he does have a point," Hikaru spoke again. "To be honest we were worried, about how recklessly you were acting,"

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up at him. "I didn't cause you guys any trouble or anything…did I…?"

"That's not true, Haru-chan," Honey said, and my gaze flicked over to him. "I think you should apologize. 'Kay?" His face was hopeful, and he was smiling a little. "You made us all frightened, especially Tama-chan,"

"Yeah, and Hikaru…" Kaoru said quietly, just loud enough that I could hear him. Hikaru gave him a swift kick under the table, but his face was slightly pinker than usual.

"I think you should apologize to him the most," Honey carried on, having not heard what Kaoru had said. "He was really scared about you," I was touched, and I softened a little.

"You…were worried about me?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"All of us," Mori said.

"But why?" I looked back to the twins.

"You're hopeless," they said. I bowed my head, a little embarrassed.

"So…" My cheeks were flushing a little. "Guys, I'm really sorry. I didn't know. Can you forgive me?" They were silent for a while. The twins looked from one another to me. They stood up.

"Come here and say that," they said, holding out their hands. I looked up, taken aback. "An apology isn't much use from the other side of a table," I smiled, getting to my feet and walking round to the other side.

"Okay, I'm sor—" They threw their arms around me, laughing. I was startled, taking a step back. Honey leapt up and hugged me tight around the waist, Mori patting my head. He wasn't much of a hugger.

"Apology accepted, little sis," the twins laughed. Sis? So I really was like a sister to them. I smiled. Had I been able to move my arms I would have hugged them all. Well…maybe not Mori. Then the bad feeling came back in my stomach. I realised that it wasn't guilt, like I had thought it was.

"Okay, I have to go now," I said quickly, pulling free and hurrying out the room, my hand clasped over my mouth. I knew what was about to happen, and begged that I could find a bathroom before it did. I had eaten _way_ too much crab. I sprinted into the closest room I could find. It was dark, but I just about found my way to another door. I pulled it open, hurrying inside and quickly flicking on the lights. Oh, thank God! I turned and bent my head over the sink. I waited. It happened, faster that I had expected. A perfect waste of a good meal. It didn't taste so good on the way up. I groaned, stomach now empty, feeling very clammy and shaken. I heard a distant rumble outside, and the hairs on the back of my neck stiffened. I looked up, staring at my reflection in the mirror through wide eyes.

I hastily switched on the tap, washing away what I had just done. I splashed my face with the cold water, and dried myself with a towel. I switched off the light and left the bathroom. Then I realized that I didn't know where I was. I had been so desperate to find a bathroom that I had run into the closest door. I looked around the room. Another thing caught my mind. The lights hadn't been on when I had come in, but now they were… There was another quiet rumble, a little closer this time, and I turned my head to look at the tall window.

Sitting in a chair in front of it was a boy with black hair, his shirt draped over the arm rest. I guessed that he might be one of Kyoya's two older brothers he had mentioned.

"Are you okay?" the boy asked, catching sight of me.

"I apologize, sir," I said hastily, "I didn't mean to intrude,"

"Don't be silly," he said with a small laugh. "It's just me, Haruhi,"

"Kyoya…" I said. I was an idiot. How did I not get that from his voice? I had heard it often enough. "Um…I'm sorry," He turned to look at me, eyebrows slightly raised. Still his glasses were missing. "I didn't mean to make everybody worry about me today," He smiled faintly.

"Thanks, but I wasn't especially worried," he said, getting to his feet. "Although I did have a rather hard time separating the twins from those boys who attacked you. They almost beat them half to death," He paused, then let out a quiet laugh. He started towards me. "And, because of you, I had to send each of the girls in question a bouquet of flowers to apologize. They've been looking forward to this trip, and we don't want to disappoint them,"

"I'll pay you back for the flowers," I said, feeling a little guilty.

"Those bouquets were very expensive, Haruhi," he said. "The total sum would be close to a small fortune by your standards," Then he paused, looking me in the eye. Then he smiled. "But this is such a rare occasion, so I'd be willing to overlook it,"

"Really, you would?" I asked, a little surprised.

"Why ever not?" he replied, "In fact…why don't we do something tonight? After all it isn't often we're allowed to leave on a trip. We'd be back tomorrow, so why shouldn't we make the most of this evening?"

"Okay," I shrugged, "If you want. What kind of thing did you have in mind?" He paused for a moment.

"Oh, nothing too big," he said, walking past me and sliding down the lights. I looked around, the whole room dimming like twilight. I turned to look at him, confused and a little afraid.

"Er…" my voice was cracking slightly, "Why'd you turn the lights off?" He walked back to me, bending down to look into my face.

"It's proved effective until now," he said quietly, his dark grey eyes transfixing my own. His smile suddenly became devious. "If you want to…you can pay me back with your body," My eyes widened, and he grabbed my arm. "Actually," I cried out in surprise, but he clamped a hand over my mouth. I tried to break free, but he held me tighter, laughing darkly. "I suppose that, being a girl, it doesn't matter if you want to or not. Because I was just thinking that tonight…we could try something that a man and a woman could do," He threw me round, and I fell onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling through frightened eyes. He crouched on top of me, his hands pinning my arms down either side of my head. All I could think was; **_what the hell, Kyoya!?_** If I had use of my arms I would be throttling him.

"As a guy I can reach out to you whenever I wanted to; surely you are not so naïve as to believe that your sex does not matter?" he said, his grip tightening on me. "You've left yourself completely defenseless against me. No way out, pinned down in a corner," I stared up into his face. I tried to push against him, but he was too strong. So this was how much difference there was? "You really should fix that 'being a guy or girl doesn't matter' naiveté of yours_. _I could do anything I wanted to you, and you'd be powerless to stop me," He better not be serious. He bent his head, and I could feel his hot breath on my face. His lips were coming closer to mine, and my eyes widened for a moment in fright, before I flinched – recoiling my head as I tried desperately to avoid what he was about to do to me. I was shaking, and I felt his nose brushing up my neck, his breath hot on my skin. I shuddered violently, kicking my legs and trying to pull my arms loose.

But then…my experience and knowledge of him brought an idea to the front of my mind. I realized why he was doing this. I opened my eyes wide, to see him pulling his head up before coming down again.

"You won't do it," I whispered.

"What?" he asked, frowning, his face almost an inch from my own.

"I just know," I said, staring sincerely up into his eyes. "Because it wouldn't do you any good. You won't gain anything from it. In fact, you'll lose a lot; my respect for you, my friendship, and who is to say that I don't tell the others? Nothing will come to you for it, and you know that…don't you, Kyoya?" He said nothing, staring at me for a long time. Then he laughed.

"That's true," he said, straightening up and letting go of me. "You're a fascinating young woman, Haruhi. Perceptive. Smart. Much more so than the others in the Host Club," I sat up, looking at him intently.

"But also," I said. "I never really noticed before…what a nice guy you are," He turned his head to look at me, but said nothing. "I know what you're doing. You're just trying to prove what Tamaki said earlier, right?" '_That's no excuse, you idiot! Don't forget you're a girl!_' Kyoya stood up, not saying anything. I smiled faintly. "I know that you're trying to back up his point, and that you're just posing as the bad guy," He gave me a queer look.

"What a strange girl you are," he said thoughtfully. Then he smiled. "Such a strange, smart little girl,"

There was a knock on the door, and I looked round.

"Kyoya?" the voice was Tamaki's. Oh god, not _now._ The door opened, and Tamaki stepped through. "Do you have any lotion? The sunburn is worse than I—" He caught sight of me, on the bed beside Kyoya, still shirtless, my skirt ridden up past my knees. He was silent, his wide blue eyes flicking between the two of us. "You bastard!" He took a step forward, but Kyoya fished a bottle of lotion from the table beside us and threw it at Tamaki. He walked hurriedly past him, pulling the door open.

"Wait for an answer next time, imbecile," he muttered, closing the door behind him. He walked down the corridor, but then paused. He reached inside his pocket, drawing out his glasses. There was crack running up the glass on one side. Kyoya sighed, closing his eyes. He remembered pulling them off, dropping them in his haste to come after me when I was in trouble. He wasn't going to confess to it, but even the ice-cold Kyoya Otori had a heart. Although it would never be admitted, he was one of the most worried by my fall. "Maybe…" he said quietly, squeezing his fingers around the glasses in his hand. "…if that's the way things were…then perhaps the strange one is me…"

On the other side of the door there was an extremely uncomfortable silence. Tamaki looked up at me from the bottle in his hands. Another rumble from outside, closer than the others. I shivered, turning my head to look out the window. Rain was splattering against the glass. Tamaki took a few steps towards me.

"What were you doing, alone with him?" he asked coldly, his narrowed blue eyes fixed on me. His voice was shaking slightly, his jaw clenched so that his teeth ground together as he spoke.

"Nothing," I answered. I saw the furious look on his face. "I-I mean—"

"You expect me to believe that!?" he shouted, starting forwards so that his face inches from my own. "Nothing was going on? Then how come you're alone in his bedroom?" I opened my mouth to speak, but he didn't let me. "How come the lights are off? And why are the sheets on his bed all messed up, huh? Why was his shirt off!? Don't you lie to me, Haruhi!" He grabbed my shoulders, shaking me with almost violent force. "Don't you _dare_ lie to me!" My neck jerked painfully as he shook me again, and I pulled his hands from me with a wince. I felt like crying, I never lied. Not ever. Not even to escape punishment or conviction. He reached for me again, but I batted his hands away angrily.

My eyes were glittering as I tried to fight back the tears that were screaming at him. I wasn't about to cry because I was falsely accused. Not for something so fickle as that. And most definitely _not_ for Tamaki Suoh, the pathetic narcissist who called himself my phony father. But I couldn't stop them, no matter how hard I tried. He saw the tears brimming in my eyes, and his face softened. He stepped back, bowing his head shamefacedly.

"Never mind…" he said, turning away. His hands curled into shaking fists by his sides. "You've been through a lot today, and I'm sure you're tired. You should get some sleep," He started walking stiffly away, but I felt as though I didn't want him to leave. Not wanting to be alone, I reached out a hand, my fingers inches from his shirt.

"Sen—" There was a bright flash of lightning bursting through the window, momentarily illuminating the room. A loud boom of thunder crashed just afterward, and my eyes widened in fright. I leapt forwards, grabbing hold of his arm. He stopped, looking back at me in surprise. I hastily let go, stepping back. The lightning flashed again, and I screamed, burying my face in my hands. He turned back, bending down to look up at me.

"What's wrong, Haruhi?" he asked, concerned. I was trembling slightly, my eyes wide as I stared at him through my fingers.

"I-It's nothing!" I said quickly, pulling away from him and starting towards the large wardrobe against the wall behind me. "I just remembered I have some very important business to take care of! Excuse me!" I pulled open the thick doors and clambered inside, hastily drawing them shut after me.

"What business could you have in a wardrobe!?" he cried, staring it. The thunder crashed loudly outside, and I yelped, cowering down into the corner of the dark wardrobe. Tamaki looked out the window, to see another bright flash of lightning. He looked back to the wardrobe, hearing me panting inside it. "Haruhi…" he said, taking a few steps towards it. "Are you afraid of thunder and lightning?" I didn't answer, my hands clapped over my ears. He tried the doors, but before they could open I grabbed the inside handles and pulled with all of my strength the keep them shut.

"I'm not coming out, so just go away!" I said firmly, but then I saw another bolt of lightning through the crack between the doors I was trying to hold shut.

"Why have you locked yourself in there?" he asked, pulling harder to open the doors. "It seems like it would be scarier to be locked up, alone, like that,"

"I'm alright," I replied, although my voice was shaking slightly. "I'm used to getting through storms like this, by myself," Tamaki faltered in trying to open the doors, and I pulled back too hard and hit my head against the wardrobe backing.

"By yourself…" he whispered, but a loud clap of thunder kept me from hearing his words. "You're always by yourself. All alone in your home…" He imagined me as a little girl during a storm, crouched under a table and wrapped in a blanket for warmth. Little did he know it, but that was exactly what I had always done. "You never call us for help, even when you're in trouble…" He thought back to today, when I had tried to fight alone. "I get it, now…" I had stopped trying to keep the doors shut, my legs pulled tight to my chest. My head was buried in my knees, singing a lullaby in my head. It was one that my mother used to sing.

Tamaki pulled open the doors, to see me huddled like a lost child.

"I understand now, Haruhi," he said softly. I looked up, seeing the small smile on his face. "I'm sorry I acted the way I did. You grew up without a mother, and no allies," He held out his hand to me, his eyes looking into my own. "But from now on I want to keep you happy, and protect you. You can come out, if you want," For a moment there was silence, save for the loud pattering of the rain outside. His finger twitched as if in encouragement, and I looked slowly from his outstretched hand to his kindly smiling face. I reached tentatively for his hand with one of my own, but then there was another clap of thunder.

I leapt out of the wardrobe, like a frightened rabbit. I fell into Tamaki, my arms wrapping around him. He was knocked back to the ground, and he grunted in pain as he hit the floorboards, my body sprawled on top of him. He put his hand on the back of my head, feeling me trembling. He gently stroked my hair, resting his chin on the top of my head.

"It's alright," he whispered, "You don't have to be afraid. I'll always be here for you, Haruhi. I promise that you'll never be alone, again," My fingers tightened on his shirt, hugging him closer to me as lightning flickered throughout the room. I closed my eyes tightly, trying not to see its blinding glare.

"I'm not sure this was the best idea, Kyoya-senpai," Hikaru said. The rest of the Host Club was coming up the corridor as they looked for me.

"Yeah, leaving them alone together?" Kaoru said, "Do you want to start a nuclear war, or something?"

"Without a doubt, she'll have apologized," Kyoya said coolly, "She may be stubborn and completely naïve of the situations she enters, but I convinced her sufficiently,"

"Oh, yeah?" the twins asked, grinning at one another. "What did you do? Rape her?"

"Not exactly," Kyoya replied with a knowing smirk. The twin's eyes widened, their devilish grins vanishing in an instant. They exchanged almost worried looks, not sure whether to take him seriously or not; they had intended it as a joke. Hikaru's jaw was slightly clenched. The twins knocked on the door to Kyoya's room.

"Hey, Boss?" they called together, pushing the door open. "Coming in," What they saw made them all stop short. Tamaki was kneeling on the ground before me, a sheet tied around my eyes and makeshift earplugs in my ears.

"You see, Haruhi," he was explaining his 'marvellous' plan to me. "With the blindfold you won't be able to see anything, and the earplugs muffle any sound," I laughed.

"Ha ha, yeah, you're right!" I said, in a voice slightly louder than was necessary.

"You nasty pervert," Hikaru said. Tamaki whipped around, completely unaware that we were not alone.

"What kind of foreplay is _that_?" Kaoru asked. I lifted up the blindfold, staring at Tamaki. _Foreplay_?

…. ….

"Going to the beach was awesome!" the twins cried, pushing open the doors to Music Room 3. They sighed contentedly, throwing themselves down on the nearest sofa. "We have to go more often!"

"I agree, it was an enjoyable experience," Kyoya said, following them in.

"That was fun," Honey giggled, skipping into the room. "Wasn't it, Takashi?"

"Yeah," Mori replied. They all sat around the same table, smiling. Then the twins grinned devilishly.

"Hey," they hissed, drawing the other's heads together. "Do you wanna know the best part?" Smiles grew wider from all the others. "Finding out that Tamaki is really the King of S/M," The twins cackled with laughter, and Tamaki walked in, a little sheepishly.

"What are you two laughing about?" he asked sourly. He was still mad at them. After their words I had slapped him and stormed away, refusing to come out of my room until we left that morning. The twins, of course, had been allowed in with me. Now Tamaki couldn't escape the feeling that words had been spread between us.

"You; nothing new on that front," they replied, grinning. "Just the fact you tried to get it on with Haruhi,"

"I was _not_ trying to get it on with her!" he shouted, his face burning red as he started towards them. "I was just protecting her, because she's afraid of—" He clapped his hands over his mouth, realizing he had almost revealed my fear to them. He knew that the twins would make fun of me for it. They raised their eyebrows.

"Yes?" they pressed him. Tamaki removed his hands, standing erect and tall.

"Fine!" he cried, trying to muster some dignity. He didn't succeed very well. "Call it what you will! I'm the King of S—Haruhi!" I had walked into the room, staring at him.

"S/M?" I repeated, and his face flushed even redder. "You know, that's kind of worrying, senpai. Now that I know what it means…" My eyes flicked in the direction of the twins, and then back. "…I think I'll find it quite hard to look at you, the same way, ever again,"

"Haruhi, no!" he said quickly, but I turned away and walked towards the twins. I sat down between them, crossing my legs and making it perfectly obvious I wouldn't be speaking to him.

"I guess that means we've all won the game," they said, grinning. "Who would've thought that Haruhi's greatest fear would be Tamaki-senpai?" The other Hosts laughed, and Tamaki grabbed his hair.

"It was a misunderstanding!" he shouted, tearing from the room. "_It was a misunderstanding!_"


	9. A Challenge from Lobelia Girls' Academy

****KYYAAAAA Too... much... Hikaru... goodness…**

**I decided to make Haruhi's pen more important to strengthen certain relationships, and I'm also trying to work out something between Kyoya and Renge. I'm not entirely sure within myself if they'll go together in the end… I just rather like the idea of Renge's dream that he would grow to love her come true, y'know? Anyway, enough ranting, now get on and read ;)**

**Also the whole Zuka Club can wear extravagant costumes beneath their uniforms defies all logical word, so screw it they're stuck in uniforms FOREVER! **

Chapter 9

A Challenge from Lobelia Girls' Academy

Petals fluttered dreamily through the crisp morning air, swirling past the elaborate front gates of Ouran with fluttering curtseys which carried them to the ground. Three sets of daintily high-heeled feet stepped through and stopped, the heads at the opposite pole tilted up to admire the school in all its grandeur. The tallest stood between the two others, hands upon hips covered by a tailored rose-coloured uniform skirt. She smiled with faintly painted lips, her light grey eyes fixed upon the school before her. A trio of blue and pale-yellow clad students almost escaped her notice as they walked by. The feeling was less than mutual; the three Ouran students had not seen the three by the gates of their beloved academy.

"Huh? You mean there's no afternoon classes today?" I asked.

"Oh, you didn't know?" Renge replied, "For these two days, today and tomorrow, the whole school is holding an exposition for the cultural clubs," I was surprised, but smiled as I pushed open the front doors for the other girls.

"It's going to be really exciting," Yumi Yabu continued, smiling widely at me as she walked past. She had been a regular customer to the Host Club since she had enrolled, and had been my most frequent visitor as well as Tamaki's. "Drama clubs and choral clubs from other schools have been invited. Other clubs have been asked to participate as well, and I've been elected to represent Ouran for the Art Club!" She positively beamed with pride. "I can't wait to tell dad all about it!" I smiled as the door swung shut behind us.

"That's really great, Yumi," I said, "How is your dad?"

"Oh, he's so much better now!" she replied, "He's found a job at one of the Otori Group's hospitals and it's all thanks to you and the Host Club!" Yumi sighed happily.

"It sounds like everything is pretty much perfect for all of us," Renge said, as we continued down the corridor to our classroom. She sighed, "Ahh, may it never change!" The doors opened, and the twins were there with wide grins.

"Morning, Haruhi!" they said together, grabbing me with the usual greeting hug. "Any nightmares about S/M senpai last night?" They grinned even wider. I rolled my eyes. They had been teasing Tamaki about the beach ever since we had come back, and each morning started with them asking if my 'greatest fear' had come to me in the night.

"No, like I've already told you a million times," I said, elbowing them off. Yumi giggled and walked past to her desk, where her friends were waving to her. "I'm not afraid of him, so just drop it, okay?" They shrugged, taking swigs from matching bottles. "What's that?"

"Just some instant coffee," Hikaru said. Renge looked at him with interest.

"You brought coffee to school?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "Why?"

"We were up super late last night," Kaoru said, "Tamaki wouldn't stop pestering us,"

"I've never had any of that before," Renge said, nodding towards the bottles. The twins stared at her.

"Eh? You've never had any?" they said.

"It's the favourite drink among the whole Host Club right now," Hikaru said.

"And yet you've never had any?" Kaoru said, "Honestly, woman! You call yourself a manager?"

"W-well, I've heard of it before," Renge said hastily, a blush creeping across her face. "I-It's that really popular item with commoners, right? Y-You know, the stuff where you buy beams that are already ground?"

"Wrong!" the twins cried, crossing their arms in disapproval. "That's something completely different; instant coffee doesn't have the slightest trace of the bean remaining, it's just a powder you mix with hot water before drinking it,"

"It's an incredible product," Hikaru said.

"You see, it's coffee but it has no robustness to it," Kaoru said. "But it's still pretty satisfying," Hikaru frowned.

"Come to think of it," he said, turning to me. "The club's stock has just about run out," The twins placed hands on my shoulders.

"Haruhi, go buy some," they commanded.

"And why should I?" I said, "You guys can't just keep ordering me around like this. And anyway, I just got here,"

"Well, you're the only one who knows where they sell it," Hikaru reminded me.

"We've been serving it to the guests lately," Kaoru continued, "And they mightn't be very happy if we have to switch to something else,"

"Now go buy some before we lose customers," they said as they gave me a shove out the door. I scowled at them over my shoulder.

"You guys sound so much like Kyoya right now," I said, "And anyway it's the club exposition today, right? So they're not even going to be at the Host Club today,"

"It's free participation so you don't want to go if you're not interested,"

"But I am interested!"

"Meh, we need to stock up some time," they shrugged, "That being said," They took the handles of the door and started closing them. They grinned. "Come back safely!" The doors closed with a snap, and I sighed. Damn these rich people. I started off down the corridor, but heard the door open again.

"Haruhi-kun, thanks for all you do!" I turned to see a small group of girls coming out.

"Well, it isn't really my decision," I told them, "I can't see why they can't buy coffee for themselves," They giggled.

"It wasn't really that, but I don't think it matters," one of them said.

"You don't?" I asked, a little surprised.

"Well, Hikaru-kun and Kaoru-kun both seem to be really enjoying themselves," another said. She smiled, as did the others. "It's all thanks to you, Haruhi-kun,"

"Me? Enjoying themselves? How do you mean?" They exchanged glances, a slightly saddened expression forming.

"We've been in the same class as those two since middle school," the first said, "But they've never been as friendly with the rest of the class as they are now,"

"It's like they never let anyone get too close," said another, "Every time anyone ever even tried to talk to them they'd either say nothing in return or completely ignore them,"

"I don't think the two of them liked school very much," continued the third, "They'd hardly ever work or participate in class, just sitting together and reading at the back or playing videogames. But always, _always_, the only person they'd speak to would be one another," The girls all looked rather sad for a moment. Then one smiled as she looked up at me.

"I can't help but wonder if it was when they joined the Host Club that they suddenly became happier," she said, "They've started to talk to us little by little, haven't they?" The other two nodded.

"And it's only now that they part their hair," one said thoughtfully, "Because, until the Host Club, their hair was cut so that there was a straight fringe with no way to sweep it left or right,"

"They don't even switch sides in their partings, either, anymore," the other said, "I think they stopped doing that after you resolved their fight, Haruhi-kun," She beamed at me. "I think it's because of you that they're so much happier now,"

"Really?" I said weakly, looking back at the door, now hanging slightly open from when the girls had come out. I could see the twins laughing with a few boys, utterly carefree. The edge of my mouth twitched upward. "That makes me feel so…" I turned back, smiling, "…I don't know. I can't really be that important, can I?" They giggled, smiling.

"Well, I think you're important, Haruhi-kun," one of them said.

"Ooh, have you got a crush on Haruhi-kun?" her friends teased, and she turned scarlet before tearing back into the classroom. The others followed her, "You've got a crush on Haruhi-kun! You've got a crush on Haruhi-kun!" I laughed, turning and walking down the corridor again, feeling lighter and less depressed about being forced away for the twins' needs. I didn't mind the last second shop for coffee this time, instead almost smiling to myself the whole time. I was back at the academy before I knew it, my arms wrapped around a full paper bag. I was thinking as I slowly walked up the drive to the main building, and my eyes occasionally slipped out of focus.

But then I tripped, my feet subconsciously crossing one another, and I fell backwards. Footsteps rushed towards me, and suddenly a very tall girl had thrown her arms around me to stop me from falling. For a moment I was shocked, before she gently sat me down on the ground, and bent before me. She smiled kindly, and flicked a neat crop of short brown hair back from her cloudy-grey eyes. There was a lily tucked behind her left ear. She had a long, slender neck, and a rather thin nose. Her jaw was fairly thick set, as if she had used it rather a lot for talk.

"It would be a shame if any harm came to that pretty face of yours," she said, her voice mellow and harmonic like that of a singer's. She straightened the bow upon her white shirt, plucking a white lily from her breast pocket. She held it out to me, smiling coolly. She reminded me somehow of Tamaki… "Miss," she added in a low voice. My eyes widened, and she let out a quiet laugh. The girl took my hand and pulled me to my feet. She was remarkably strong, and I stumbled for a moment. She flipped her hair again, laughing airily.

"How…how did you—"

"Come, maiden!" she instructed, coiling an arm around my waist and pulling me off towards the academy's front doors. "I have much to say, but those words would better be told with my fellows!" I tried to squirm free but her grip was adamant as she steered me around the academy. She definitely reminded me of Tamaki. As myself and this strange person travelled up through the school, her two fellows stood before the doors to Music Room 3.

"Do you suppose this is the place?" the taller asked the other. Her hair was long and pale brown, with waves and curls like the sea.

"I'm positive," her friend replied. She was a few inches shorter than the blonde girl, her hair brazen and red. The two exchanged looks, and nodded. They each pushed a door open, and stepped inside. What they saw made them stop short.

"Welcome!" six boys called, clad from head to foot in medieval armour. The girls looked unimpressed, arms folded and eyebrows raised disapprovingly. A blonde boy with a handsome face and bright blue eyes stood up, a long white cloak sweeping from his armoured shoulders. His chestplate was white and red, swirls of gold across his pauldrons and gauntlets. His sleeves, skirt and leg bracers were red. He raised his sword, holding it to the sky and tilting it to rest a hand on its hilt.

"My, my," the boy said, smiling dazzlingly at the two in the doorway. He took in their rose and white uniforms, his eyes flicking up and down. "Girls from another school, are you?" They didn't answer. Tamaki laughed softly, bowing his head slightly. He addressed the five other boys, "I wonder if we haven't startled our first-time guests here, a little bit," He started towards the girls, clinking quietly in his armour, lowering his sword and extending a gloved hand. "I'm glad you've come, my princesses," He bent before them on one knee, dropping his sword and taking a hand from either. They looked at him with disdain. He sighed piteously, not noticing their expression, "Ahh, even if the world were to be destroyed, I would want to be the knight that protects you from this day forward, even at the expense of my own life," He moved his head to kiss the honey-haired girl's hand but she pulled it away, turning her head.

"My, at the expense of his own life, he says?" she said coldly, smirking. "What an arrogant sentiment," Tamaki looked shocked, staring up at her. She looked at him with distaste. "I wonder if he thinks that's what makes a woman happy," She shot a look sideways to the girl with short copper hair, who laughed, also pulling her hand from Tamaki's.

"Well, what can you do, Sister Suzuran?" she said, looking past Tamaki's head to the other boys – all watching with interest and surprise. "Men are lower life forms, who prize their own honour and reputation above all else. They take their own futility in being unable to protect even one of their kind and change it into something to suit themselves," She turned her head to look at the pale-haired girl. "How very condescending,"

"Oh, Hinagiku," she replied with a dry smile, "You're such a clever girl," The two looked at Tamaki, who rose to his feet and brought the smile back to his face.

"That's a pretty harsh view to express," he said, "Well then, what would you like me to tell you? What would assure me to your love?" The two girls surveyed him, unaware of the two sets of footsteps approaching. "Pray tell, my lovely ladies, what would bind me to your hearts and souls?"

"Ha! A good question, O dim-witted boy," the tall girl holding me said in a clear voice, pushing through the two girls to stand before Tamaki. I was held in a one armed embrace, looking dazedly around with the bag of coffee clutched tightly in my arms. The girls looked at her with awe, descending to their knees in a kind of curtsy. They didn't rise. "In my case, it would be, 'I would never leave my lover alone, and unloved.'" Tamaki looked at her, almost staring. "If we are to fight," The girl darted out and grabbed Tamaki's sword from his hand, holding it between the two of us. "It will be together. If we prevail not, we shall meet our fate together," She pulled me closer, gazing into my face. Then she bent to one knee, holding my hand and pressing her own to her chest. Her voice was hushed when she next spoke, "Even though I perish, I swear to you, I will never leave your side," She took the lily from behind her ear and pressed it into my hand, closing my fingers and tilting them. She bent her head and lightly kissed the back of my hand.

The Host's mouths dropped open; Tamaki's face burned red and he brandished an accusing finger at her, the twins stared on in bewilderment – Hikaru's jaw and fists were clenched, bristling – Honey was giggling but also rather surprised, Kyoya's pen hovered uncertainly over a page in his black book, and Mori's face remained as straight as ever. That was his face of shock.

"Benibara-sama," the red-haired girl said, looking up as she rose to her feet. "You're late,"

"Oh, what _are_ we going to do with you?" the brown-haired one said with a teasing glint in her eye, also rising. She looked me up and down, before smiling. "And where did you find such an adorable young lady?" The Hosts made strangled noises of shock. The tall girl, Benibara, straightened up and rested an arm upon my shoulders.

"Over there," she replied, motioning an arm carelessly towards a window. "She may be dressed as a boy but I could tell right away," She threw Tamaki' sword at him as she took hold of my face, and he fumbled to catch it before it cut him in half. "Look here," She bent her head closer to mine, stroking her thumb across my cheek. She really _was_ like Tamaki…except it seemed she hated the idea of his very existence. Hikaru's eyes were narrowed, and he was slowly shaking his head. "Such clear, maidenly eyes," She smiled, her gaze flicking momentarily up and down. "And her skin…"

The pale-haired one took my hand and rolled back my sleeve, stroking her fingers up my skin. Tamaki face turned to a glower. Hikaru's scowl intensified.

"Oh, Benibara-sama, it's so smooth!" she exclaimed. "Shining, natural material, as if 'twere polished!"

"Hold it!" Tamaki cried, "Don't you go touching my Haruhi like that!" He started forwards, arms outstretched, but Benibara turned away from me and cuffed him across the face.

"Come no closer, you wretch!" He stumbled backwards, clutching his face and staring at her. Benibara continued to scowl at him, pulling me closer with an arm around my waist. "Do not attempt to own this maiden, she is not your property; as no woman is!" Tamaki shuffled backwards, kicking madly and clanking in his armour like an old machine that is working too fast for its worn joints.

"Sh-she hit me!" he whined, tugging at the skirt of Kyoya's tunic. "That was violent! Mama, do something!" Honey bent and hugged him tightly, holding out Usa-chan for comfort.

"Tama-chan, it's okay!" he said, "Buck up!"

Benibara watched Tamaki on the ground with both amusement and disgust. She let go of me and took a few steps forward, flanked on either side by her fellows.

"Just look at them," she said in a loud voice, her hands on her hips. They're even more feeble than we'd heard," Everyone was watching her. "A fledgling, cobbled-together mishmash of frivolous, shallow-minded fools," Kyoya finally managed to dislodge Tamaki's desperately twisting hands form their clutches upon his skirt and turned towards Benibara. He pushed his glasses further up his thin nose, and surveyed them through his dark grey eyes.

"From your uniforms, I see you're students of Lobelia Girls' Academy," he said.

"Indeed," Benibara replied, smiling. She span around once, withdrawing a white lily from her skirt pocket, before stamping a foot forwards and raising her arms high in the air. "~_Lobelia_~" she sang, and on either side of her the two girls mimicked her movements.

"~_Lobeliaa_~" This note was higher than Benibara's.

"~_Lobeliaaa_~" But this was the highest. Benibara's cropped head snapped down dramatically, slowly lowering her hands to hold the lily innocently before her lips.

"St. Lobelia Academy, high school second-year, Amakusa Benio," she bowed low, before her head popper up with the lily stem in her mouth. "But you may call me the Lady Benibara," The girl with long hair giggled quietly, stroking a delicate finger across a petal of her lily.

"Also, second-year student, Maihara Chizuru," she said, "The Lady Suzuran, to you,"

"First-year student, Tsuwabaki Hinako," the girl with red hair said, "However you may only know me as the Lady Hinagiku,"

"~_Lobelia_~" all three sang, getting really rather queer looks from the twins and Tamaki.

"We are St. Lobelia Academy's finest young women," Benibara said, lifting the lily from between her lips and holding it between finger and thumb. "The White Lily League, but people call us…" She flung out her arm, letting the lily fly through the air – it managed to hit Tamaki in the face, and he spat out a petal that fell in his mouth. The three girls span around, the two on either side of Benibara slipping to their knees and raising their arms to exalt her. Benibara herself thrust her arms high above her head. "—the Zuka Club!"

There was a long silence where nobody moved, everybody staring at them. Then the twins burst into fits of uproarious laughter, clutching at their stomachs and one another.

"Nice taste in names!" they cried, slumping to their knees and banging their fists on the ground. The Zuka Club scowled at them, but still did not move from their pose. "The Zuka Club! Did you ever hear such an idiotic name?" Tears were streaming down their faces, as they rolled about and fell into one another. "Oh God, my stomach hurts!" Benibara threw down her arms in fury, clenching her fists and taking an angry step forwards. But then a voice sounded beneath her feet.

"You must not take the Zuka Club so lightly," There was the strange sound of a powerful motor working again, and Benibara took a worried pace away. The Zuka Club hurried out of the way as Renge's rig opened up the floor like it had done a few weeks prior. I still wondered how she had managed to spend the time, effort and money building something like that. She rose up through the air, spinning around in circles, but this time she wasn't just in her uniform. Now she was seated beneath a spoked umbrella, sipping daintily from a teacup, and dressed in a purple kimono with red trimming and bow. "I may not know much about instant coffee," She waved the teacup in the direction of the twins, "But I _can_ tell you all about infatuation with girls' schools,"

"Where on Earth did this girl come from?" Benibara hissed to her fellows. Renge didn't hear her.

"St. Lobelia Academy is truly a woman's world," she continued, setting down her cup upon the table beside her. "The Zuka Club," She gestured to the three girls staring at her. "Is a gathering of damsels that consider females to be especially superior, even for an all-girls' school. It prides itself on thirty years since its founding as a society of maidens, by maidens, for maidens!"

"She may live beneath the floorboards, Benibara-sama, but she at least knows what we stand for," Suzuran whispered. Benibara smiled. The Hosts were watching with amazement. Even I didn't really understand the whole concept. I mean, male and female equality was perfectly acceptable, but to completely turn the tables and take it out on the men? It just seemed like a vicious cycle of man vs woman, to me.

"The Zuka Club's activities include maidens' tea parties," Renge carried on, "Maidens' debate forum, and – most importantly – singing and theatrical routines performed by the top members,"

"You sure cover a wide field, Renge-kun," Kyoya smiled.

"Anything for you, Kyoya-sama," Renge replied happily, "And, of course, for my beloved Host Club. I need to keep you all on top form, as a manager. Still, ultimately, it is but a fond fantasy; of course, while I do not actually live beneath your very feet, not actually having boys around makes it no good for me," She pushed her foot down on something beneath the table, and her podium began to sink beneath the floor again, before she was covered over entirely by the floorboards pushing together again. Kyoya smiled at the spot she had vanished, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

"A maiden's beauty," Suzuran said, calling all attention to her. "It is to have a spirit pure enough not to give in to superficial beaut, influence, or lust,"

"'As a girl you must wear make-up to be beautiful'" Hinagiku said in a high voice as if mimicking someone in a mocking way. "'For a girl you must do everything which might involve decision, she'll never be able to do it as well as you'. We're fed up with all the oppressive male contempt for women,"

"Our pride…" Benibara said softly, bowing her head and placing a hand over her heart. "It comes from having soulful relationships based on equality, as a result of being of the same sex. Including…" Tamaki's eyes widened as he thought for a moment. "Yes! Even relationships of love," He looked shocked, before trudging meekly away to the store room.

There was an electronic beeping, and Benibara looked to see Hikaru playing a video game, and that Kaoru and Honey were watching him. Kyoya was reading a book, and Mori was waving his sword with practiced ease. She scowled.

"Uurgh, I'm already bored of laughing," Hikaru said, not looking up from killing a bunch of zombies on screen. "And lesbianism isn't even that funny. Or arousing, come to think of it," Ha! Says you, the brotherly-love type. I don't even want to know what you get up to when youre alone.

"Yeah, seriously, go away," Kaoru said, egging Hikaru on and mashing a few buttons when discontent with his brother's gameplay.

"Such shallow words about our sublime love," Hinagiku said, hooking an arm around Benibara's slim waist.

"What the hell is she talking about, Kaoru?" Hikaru asked, tilting his whole body left as he stared at the screen.

"I dunno, something about slime and love," Kaoru said. Hikaru snorted with laughter, the two exchanging glances. "That's gross," Then they both started guffawing loudly, and Suzuran tutted as she turned to Hinagiku.

"You have to feel sorry for them, Hinagiku," she said softly, "Their patented Host skills did not work on us, and they don't know how to handle it,"

"Hmph," Benibara laughed, "Even so, it was worth it; while we're here for our theatrical performance, we may as well have seen the notorious Ouran Host Club for ourselves,"

"We're notorious?" Honey asked.

"Maybe," Mori said. Honey frowned.

"Takashi, what does 'notorious' mean?"

I sighed, bored, and started past the Zuka Club to set down the bag before Benibara grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back into her arms.

"And to think that they dragged this sweet young girl down along with them, though," she said sorrowfully.

"Huh?"

She hardened, a hand clenching on my shoulder as she brandished her fist. I hastily slipped away with the bag of coffee, heading to where I usually put it.

"I don't know if their president is supposed to be a halfer or not, but spreading around false love with impressive appearances," she exclaimed passionately, "And toying with the pure hearts of young maidens is positively demeaning towards women!" Everyone was watching her, even the twins were silent. "It is positively outrageous how you claim to be carrying out club activities, while satisfying your own lustful appetites for attention, money and even arousal!" The twins exchanged glances. Benibara took a few steps forward, fists clenched and eyes set. "I swear that I will bring down the Ouran Host Club at once!"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up his nose.

"Indeed," he said coolly, "I understand what you're saying, entirely. However, could we continue this another time?" Benibara's eyes narrowed.

"Are you saying you cannot take us on?" she asked. Their eyes locked, grey upon grey.

"No," he replied, motioning a hand towards the store room. "Our president is probably passed out, or at least bed-ridden, from culture shock," A quiet moan could just be heard from the other side of the door, 'The Zuka Club is scaring me…'

"You see," Honey said, "Tama-chan is going to need a nappy time now,"

"Get him out here!" Benibara hissed, seething. "If I'm going to bring him down I need to—"

"Um, I made some coffee," I said, and she fell silent as she turned to look at me. I held up the tray, laden with three teacups. "Would you like some?"

"Thank you," Benibara said, "How very kind and generous. I would expect nothing less from such a pure-hearted maiden, like yourself," The three took a cup each.

"You're a real treasure in this trash-heap," Suzuran said. I couldn't help but take a little offense, even though it was a compliment. Ouran wasn't a trash heap in my opinion. It was the best place I had ever been. Benibara raised the cup and sniffed gently, before sighing.

"Coffee made by a maiden possesses such a fragrant aroma," she said.

"Well…it's just instant coffee," I said, but still I smiled. The door to the store room creaked open, but nobody paid much attention. A blue eye peered intently through the crack, eyeing the girls suspiciously. He had heard the words coffee and instant, and there was almost nothing he loved more these days than coffee presented to him by me.

"We should have a tea party," Hinagiku said, "Just the four of us," Tamaki threw the door open, stripped of his armour and once again in uniform.

"You girls are wrong!" he cried, starting forwards. "Where is the fruitfulness in a girl being in love with another girl!? And even if there was, I would never let you drag my darling Haruhi into i—" In his haste he tripped, stumbling forwards with arm outstretched until his finger splashed through the surface of the piping hot coffee. It took a moment for him to sense the pain and scalding heat, before he ripped he hand back and began stamping up and down in circles and clutching his hand. "Hothothothotohothohottototoh ottot!"

He fell to his knees, teeth gritted and sucking the air through them with a pained hiss. I pulled a small roll of bandage tae from my blazer pocket and bent down next to him.

"Senpai, would you please be more careful?" I sighed, pulling the end loose and wrapping the tape around his finger. I ripped a tear at the end and tucked it down over his fingertip, before pocketing the roll again.

"Thank you…" Tamaki mumbled feebly, blushing slightly as he stared at his bandaged finger. "Haruhi…do you always carry first-aid tape around with you?" I shook my head.

"The supermarket was giving them away when I bought the instant coffee today," I said, "But I guess that I should carry it around more often. It would be bad if you were to get hurt again and we couldn't deal with it, right?" I smiled. His blush deepened. Benibara came to stand behind me, and she hoisted me to my feet, spinning me round into an awkward embrace – well, it was awkward for me. Tamaki looked at her with both shock an almost anger.

"This doesn't even seem worth discussion," she said, "But now that we know the situation we cannot allow this poor maiden to remain in this club," Everyone's mouths dropped open. Benibara looked down at me, "We must prepare the paperwork for your transfer to Lobelia at once, and welcome you into the Zuka Club!" My eyes widened. What? No! I don't want to join the Zuka Club!

"J-just wait a minute, please!" I exclaimed, pulling away from Benibara. She tried to hold on but I pulled too hard and stumbled, but a pair of arms caught me from behind. Hikaru set me upright again, standing beside me as I stared at Benibara. "There seems to be some misunderstanding, here," I gestured to Tamaki on the ground, "You've labelled Tamaki-senpai a halfer, for one,"

"But Tama-chan _is_ a halfer!" Honey cried happily, and my confidence slipped for a moment. "A French and Japanese halfsies-chan!" Tamaki looked fixedly at the ground.

"Ah, e-erm, w-well…" I struggled for a moment, before snapping back to the matter at hand. "But still, I'm not so sure about calling the Host Club fledgling, and picking on other pretexts, as well,"

"No, we are pretty new," Hikaru said carelessly, and I lost my cool again.

"We were only founded about two years ago," Kaoru said.

"His highness created it when he reached high school, after all," they said together. Benibara raised an eyebrow at me.

"Are you going to help me out here or not!?" I hissed, but then Benibara gave me a stern look. "Well, be that as it may," I continued, trying to regain myself again. "If anything, saying that their club activities are only held to satisfy personal aspirations is going too far. It's not as though they're charging their guests anything," Benibara considered this, but the Kyoya spoke – ruining everything.

"I wouldn't call it a charge," He was at his laptop, scrolling through the club's website. "But we do have a Point system. We offer a priority service, depending on the price of items won in net auctions on the club's homepage. Ahh, see here, Haruhi?" He smiled, carrying over his compact black laptop. "Your old pen just sold for a winning bid of thirty-thousand yen," He held the laptop up to me, and my eyes widened. "Good for you. That's quite a bit off your quota, right there,"

"That's the one I thought I'd lost forever!" I cried, staring at the screen in earnest. Then I rounded on him, fists clenched. "This is the first I'm hearing about _any_ of this, you know! I never knew we were earning money for this!"

"You thought we were providing this service as volunteers?" he asked, a little amused. "Well, if you subtract the expenses we have for throwing events, costumes, and refreshments for our guests, we do make a slight profit," I felt like a balloon that was slowly deflating, but then the pin burst through in a shot of anger.

"Then please don't go selling other people's things without permission!" I shouted, slamming down the laptop's lid. "That's thievery!"

"It's not thievery," the twins said, resting an arm each on my shoulders, and I instantly knew who the main culprits were. "It fell on the floor,"

"Then you should've given it to me, you jerks!" I spat, elbowing them both hard in the chest.

"I'm so sorry, Haruhi!" Tamaki cried, close to tears as he flung himself around my legs.

"Senpai, get off!"

"It's not like we were hiding it from you!" he continued, fumbling around inside his pocket as I tried to kick him off. "Here, you can have my pen!" He thrust his hand up at me, holding a blue pen with a small bear head on the end. "S-See? It has a teddy bear!"

"I don't want your hideous pen, senpai," I said, "I want my one back," He hastily stood up.

"The-then if you like, I'll tell you all the secrets of my success, together with the gran memories of my seventeen years,"

No," I said sternly. "Of all the new things I'm learning for the first time, your memoirs are what I care about the least," He looked struck by lightning, sinking to his knees again.

"Y-You don't…you don't care?" he whispered, and when I didn't reply he shuffled away to his corner.

"Oh, you poor thing," Suzuran put her arm around me in a consoling manner. "It must be such a horrible shock to be so deceived,"

"Come on," Hinagiku said, rubbing a hand up and down my back. "Dump this bunch and come over to us," Benibara put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hold on, Hinagiku," she said gently, "This maiden is all shaken up today. We shall ask again tomorrow," Her gingers touched my chin, tilting my face up to look at her. "We'll be expecting a favourable answer," She smiled, putting a hand to my shoulder. "Well," She clenched her fingers for a moment, before walking for the door; Suzuran and Hinagiku flanked her. Benibara raised a hand in an elegant wave, "Adieu, fair maiden," The two either side of her pulled the doors shut, and there was silence.

The Hosts watched me tentatively. I turned on them, my hands balled into fists. My jaw was clenched, eyes cold. There seemed to be a collective intake of breath, as if waiting for an explosion. I didn't speak.

"I'll be excusing myself now, too," I said shortly, walking stiffly over to the doors and slipping through. I closed them with a slam which caused them to rattle noisily. Tamaki clapped his hands to his eyes and sank miserably to the floor.

"What good does it to tell the truth," he whined through his fingers, "If it just pours more fuel on the fire!?"

"Well, facts are facts," Kyoya said coolly, flipping up the lid of his laptop and sitting sown on the sofa behind him. Honey hoisted himself up beside him, leaning close to look at the screen. There was a large image of a pen with a red line through it, words beneath proclaiming 'SOLD'.

"Maybe we shouldn't have sold her pencil after all," he said sadly. The twins leaned against the back of the sofa, and looked over Kyoya's shoulders.

"Hmm…" Hikaru studied the image closely. It seemed ordinary enough; thin and navy blue, with a small charm dangling from the lid. "You never know, it might've been a keepsake from her mother," Kaoru looked at him, and – seeing the slightly saddened expression on his brother's face – leaned closer to look at the image as well. After a moment's survey he noticed a small 'H' engraved on the lid. He pulled on Hikaru's sleeve, leading him a few feet away.

"I think you might be right, Hikaru," he said in a low voice, and Hikaru looked at him worriedly. He bit his lip, and Kaoru looked equally uncomfortable. "We might've really hurt her, by doing this," Hikaru nodded slowly.

"We need to get it back, Kaoru," he said firmly. Kaoru looked surprised, but quickly masked it. "By any means possible," His brother looked at him long and hard, trying to see what was truly going through Hikaru's mind. He thought he understood, but with his brother there was no simple answer.

"Actually…" Tamaki rose to his feet and walked as steadily as he could over to the window. He put a hand to the cool glass and looked out at the grounds. The three Lobelia girls could be seen below in the courtyard. "Gentlemen, think about it," He turned his head solemnly back to the room, and the others gathered themselves closer. "Haruhi may appear to be basically indifferent, but if she had to decide, she does tend to favour men's clothing," The twins exchanged glances. "Besides, when she first joined the Host Club, did she not say the words 'to be fussed over by a bunch of girls may not be all that bad'," Tamaki's fingers trembling against the glass, and his hand slipped to his side. He turned to look up at the clear blue sky. The Hosts watched him intently. "Why did I never realise it before?"

"Realise what, Tama-chan?" Honey asked, hugging the pink rabbit tightly.

"It's just possible that the Zuka Club is a better match for her than the Host Club could ever be, isn't it?" Tamaki whispered bitterly, "What's more, she's far more suited to an all-girl's school…" There was silence. Then Honey's lip began to tremble, and Usa-chan fell from his grasp as his hands flew to his eyes. Tears started streaming down his face, and he fell to the ground in a fit of weepy despair.

"Waah! Haru-chan is going to go away forever!" he bawled inconsolably, and Mori dropped to his knees to try and offer comfort "I don't wanna, Takashi! Haru-chan is leaving us! Aaaaaarggh!"

"What do we do!?" Hikaru cried, grabbing fistfuls of hair and screwing up his face as he tried to think.

"With Haruhi's smarts, she'll easily pass the Lobelia scholarship exams," Kaoru moaned, clapping a hand to his forehead.

"And at Lobelia, she'd probably have her eight-million yen debt paid off for her by that girl Benibara," Kyoya said, trying his best to remain calm. "However, this would be very bad for us; Haruhi is currently our second most popular Host. In her absence we'd lose a rather large number of our gue—"

"For God's sake Kyoya-senpai!" Hikaru shouted, grabbing Kyoya's arms and shaking him. "Is the only thing you care about personal gain!? Is that the sole reason you execute every deed of the underworld to please yourself!? Don't think I don't know what you almost did that night!" Kyyoa looked bewildered, shaking free of Hikaru's infuriated grip.

"What are you even talking about?" he shot at him.

"Don't you dare act so innocent!" Hikaru started forwards, but Tamaki raced over and leapt between them, throwing up his hands.

"Peace!" he cried, "Peace, gentlemen!" Hikaru bristled, but did not make another move. "Just clam down and listen to what I have to say," All eyes were on him, all unsettled. "Perhaps this may all be for Haruhi's own good? Doesn't she always seem so neutral about all we do? And she's hardly overly enthusiastic about our outings or cosplays, is she?" A discomforted silence ensued. "And, after all, it is Haruhi's decision through and through as to whether she transfers to St. Lobelia,"

Hikaru narrowed his olive green eyes, and he grabbed the front of Tamaki's blazer.

"Hikaru, let g—"

"How could you even say that, senpai!?" Hikaru cried, "How could you even consider that Haruhi would leave? Being the way that she is she wouldn't be able to put up with the Zuka Clubs customs,even though she may not seem particularly thrilled about our own. But you listen up real good, Boss," He pulled Tamaki closer, his jaw clenched as he next spoke. "Because I am not letting Haruhi leave this school without a fight,"

"Well, do you even have a plan!?" Tamaki spluttered, shaking loose of Hikaru and stumbling a few paces back.

"I've got something, but it's mad," he replied. Tamaki exchanged looks with every other Host. Each face seemed just as willing as the next to aid Hikaru, whatever it was. Tamaki sighed, turning back to Hikaru.

"Alright, let's hear it,"

Hikaru grinned.

…. ….

It was the second day of the culture's exposition, and the Lobelia girl's grand production had just ended - to much applause. Now, as they walked through the grounds out of costume, they were greeted with much chatter and whispering as they passed.

"Today's performance sure was a great success, huh?" Suzuran said contentedly, as she paused for the second time to sign her name on a piece of paper.

"Our singing and acting comes across well, wherever we go," Hinagiku replied. Benibara allowed a quiet laugh, smiling.

"But today's main event is only just about to begin," she said in a low voice. The two either side of her smiled knowingly. "Come. Let us to our business," They headed for the thick front double doors, and slipped inside. They quickly reached the third floor corridor, and stood facing the doors at the end of the hall with their hands on their hips. I rounded the banister at the top of the third floor staircase and stopped short as I saw them. I had completely forgotten that they were coming back.

"Good morrow, fair maiden," Benibara said in a warm voice, turning to face me.

"As promised yesterday, we've come to ask you again," Hinagiku said, also turning.

"We're really going to set things straight with those Host Club animals today," Suzuran said.

"Set what straight?" I asked. Benibara approached me, leaning an arm on my shoulder and stroking her fingers beneath my chin.

"The matter that a maiden like you should be in a place more appropriate for such a transcendent being," she said in her mellowest voice. She took my hand and led me down the corridor to the doors at a brisk pace, and we were followed on either side by Suzurana and Hinagiku. She took the handles and pushed them open. We were not met with the usual brightness of day and cheery welcome of six boys, instead we were faced with nothing but a dark and empty room. Every curtain was closed, ever chair, table and sofa pushed away to the side ways. There was only a large black silhouette in the middle of the room.

"What is this?" Benibara hissed to her fellows, who shrugged, looking just as bewildered as her. She bent her cropped head close to my ear. "Maiden, what's going on here?"

"I-I-I don't know!" I exclaimed, perfectly truthful. In all honestly I was as in the dark as she was – or the room, for that matter. "I haven't got a clue what's—" What appeared to be a figure stood up out of the black silhouetted mound, raising an arm and what looked like a fan above their head – which was bulbous and strangely wavy for an outline.

"~_Ouran!_" it sang, in a very falsely high voice. A second figure stood up, mimicking their motion and singing, "~_Ouran!_" A third figure stood up with a slight metallic rattle. This one was very tall, with large feathers sprouting from each angle.

"~_Ouran_," the voice sang in a rather deep voice, and there was an unmistakable shake and clatter of a tambourine. A fourth straightened up, with long hair cascading down to their waist. A fan was held up to their face. I saw the faint glint of the tiniest refraction of light against glass. Could it…possibly be…

"~_Ouran_!"

Another stood up, this one very small with a large rabbit held in its arms.

"~_Ouraaan!_" it crooned in an incredibly high-pitched, squeaky voice that caused me to clap my hands over my ears. The lights flashed on, just as the final figure stood, throwing their arms wide.

"~_Oouuraaaaaaaaan_!"

"~Hooooosst Cluuuuub!" all six 'boys' sang. "Welcome!" The four of us in the doorway simply stared, dumbfounded at the Host Club. I almost died to think that I knew these people. Each was in a dress, except Mori – who was instead decked out flamboyantly with feathers and a naval jacket, brandishing a tambourine which he occasionally tapped or shook. He was smiling, very broadly. The twins wore sky blue and pale yellow dresses with Elizabethan ruffs, their hair in long ringlets in pigtails down either side of their faces – something to behold in themselves; both of them, and Honey and Tamaki, were coated in make-up. Red lipstick as though they had been eating it, vibrantly coloured eyeshadow and exceedingly strong blusher. Honey was in a bright pink dress, his hair – and Usa-chan's – tied with bow upon bow. Kyoya's dress was of dark purple, with white sleeves and headdress. Tamaki was the most vibrant of all, in a shocking red dress with enormous ostrich plumes attached to his long blonde hair. He even had large lapis lazuli stones hanging from his ears.

We were still barely capable of thought when Tamaki approached us. I could hear the clicking of high heeled shoes each time he took a step. He didn't wobble even once, which was oddly suspicious.

"Oh, Haruhi, welcome!" he said cheerfully, in a voice that seemed a fair bit higher than his normal tones.

"Haru-chan! Haru-chan!" Honey cried, twirling towards me with a beam on his face. He didn't need to alter his voice to sound feminine, if that's what they were all doing. "See, I'm a princess! Do I look good?" Benibara seemed to come to her senses, clenching her fists and brandishing one at Tamaki.

"What kind of stunt is this!?" she said angrily, "Are our trying to make fun of our culture!? Our beliefs!? Our own sex!?"

"Make fun? No, certainly not!" Tamaki giggled. The sound sent a shiver through me. God, this was not natural behaviour, even for the Host Club. "I have taken everything into account, my dear," We looked at him, a little surprised and also sceptical. "This is a sure-fire technique, garuanteed among commoners to make even a crying child happy," I wasn't quite sure how I felt about all this. But still, the longer I looked…the funnier I thought it was. "It's the Freebie Campaign!" At our stunned silence Tamaki made another – failed – attempt at a girlish giggle. "You ladies who have lived sheltered lives at Lobelia might not know this, but commoners are apt to have a weakness for free things," He flicked his gaze to me, and he smiled, softening. "It's true that Haruhi may now be distracted, and sensing the appeal of joining the Zuka Club. However," His smile widened, and he flung his arms wide. "If you choose our club, your brothers and sisters come with it! I…" He beamed. "…am your Sister Tamaki!"

"Sister Hikaru!"

"Sister Kaoru!" the twins spoke at the same time.

"Sister Honey!"

"Brother," Mori said, but he didn't sound unaffected as he usually did. He was still smiling. He didn't even seem all that bothered about the way he was dressed, or what he might have been dragged into.

"And I am your loving Mother Kyoya,"

"Yes," Tamaki continued, smiling at my look of disbelief. "The plan is to experience the feeling of being in the Zuka Club, while staying in the Host Club!" He threw his arms up, walking towards me. "You see, Haruhi?" He lowered his arms, and stroked a lace-gloved hand up the side of his cheek. "Aren't I pretty?" He giggled again, before stepping aside.

"We're the Hitatchin Sisters!" the twins said, in those really rather annoying voices that were higher than usual. "Which one is prettier?" They unfurled their fans and stepped closer.

"Just teasing," Hikaru said, half of his face masked by lace.

"Ohohoho!" Kaoru giggled, and the two linked arms as they walked away. I looked at them all. Honey was giggling and twirling his skirt, Kyoya was smiling at me, and Mori shook his tambourine. I felt the corners of my mouth beginning to twitch. Benibara scowled, her hands curling into angry fists.

"Y-you think a maiden can be taken in by something so stupid as this!?" she cried, "We've ahd enough of your male idiocy! Come, maiden! We're lea—" She turned to take hold of my arm, but I had burst into fits of laughter. The Hosts stared at me, but I continued to laugh. My eyes were tightly closed, my hands over my stomach.

"Thi-this is too much! Too much!" I spluttered, hardly able to breathe as I clutched tightly at my own chest. I slumped to my knees, shaking with laughter. My lungs were aching, my back and head sore. "I don't even know what the hell this means!" I fell forwards, beating my fist on the ground as I howled with mirth. Nobody knew what to do. I started rolling around, kicking my legs up in the air and squirming as I tried to breathe. "I kn-knew you g-guys were a bunch of idiots, but geez…" I couldn't stop, crying for laughing so hard. Benibara's mouth hung slightly open as she stared at me. I slowly sat up again, still laughing, and I rubbed my eyes free of the tears. I was almost calm again, but then the twins ben right before me and I saw how ridiculous their faces were.

"Are we really that funny?" they asked, and I started howling with laughter again. I collapsed backwards, rolling around and wriggling like a drunk fish out of water. The twins pounced on me, scrabbling with their hands and tickling every square inch of me they could reach. "Call me Big Sister!"

"Aargh!" I screamed, panting and shaking as I struggled for breath between sobs and explosions of laughter. "S-stop it! Get off!"

"Big Sister! Big Sister!"

"Stoooop! Guys, you're gonna kill me!"

"Big Sister!"

Benibara bowed her head, sighing, as she realised defeat.

"Really, stop it already!" I cried, and they finally pulled away. I sat in a heap before them panting. "What were you guys thinking? This is just insane!"

"Well, we want to run the Host Club with you, Haruhi," Hikaru said, grinning. My mouth fell slightly open. All of this was really for me? I was silent for a while, before I closed my mouth again and smiled.

"Maiden, are you…" Benibara's once strong voice faded. I got to my feet and turned to the Lobelia girls.

"I'm sorry," I said, "Truly I am. There are all sorts of people in the world, with so many views and lifestyles, and I do think your way of thinking is unique and amazing in its own perspective, but…" I smiled at her. "I'm studying at this school because I have a goal for my future, and I intend to achieve it, through hard work and help from my friends," I turned my head to look at the Host Club, in all their glorious stupidity and ridicule. "These friends," I smiled at them before turning back to Benibara. "I never intended to leave Ouran to begin with," I offered my hand. She looked at it for a moment, before tentatively raising her own. We shook for a moment.

"Haruhi!" Tamaki cried, clapping his hands together and positively beaming with happiness. Then a thought struck him and he paused, before starting forwards and pointing an accusing finger at me. "Hold on!" His voice had lost its tone of femininity, "If you weren't planning to quit, then why did you act so angry yesterday?"

"Well, when you sell people's things without asking them, they usually get mad!" I snapped. "Do you have any idea what that pen meant to me?" Hikaru softened as he looked at me, scouting a glance momentarily in the direction of the store room. Tamaki opened his mouth to retort, but thought better of it.

"N-no, I didn't," he admitted sheepishly. "Sorry about that. But still, I offered you my teddy-bear pen, didn't I?"

"I already told you I don't want that thing," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Benio…" Suzuran said quietly, placing a gentle hand on Benibara's shoulder.

"Yeah, I know," was the reply. She raised her voice, "We're not giving up on you, maiden," I turned to look at her. Her face was set, her grey eyes hard as she looked at each Host in turn. "We swear to you, someday, we _will_ come and rescue you from this place, and bring down this Host Club!" She smiled archly, before raising a hand in goodbye as she turned to leave. "Until we meet again!" Suzuran and Hinagiku closed the doors after her again. I smiled, turning back to the boys. They all – including Mori – raced forwards and hugged me. Then the floorboards parted, and a loud whirring sounded as Renge's podium rose through the floor once more.

"And so, a new rival, the Zuka Club, appears," she said, and the Hosts let go of me to watch her. "And the story of our lives becomes ever more exciting. What fate awaits us from here on? Hang in there, Host Club! Don't give up, Host Club!" She sighed, turning to look down at the boys. "Now…go get changed; you all look ridiculous,"

…. ….

The store room was silent as a boy pulled off the long, ringleted red wig and dropped it to the ground beside him. He was the only one not yet changed; he had been sitting, without a noise, behind the curtain of his stall, thinking. With a sigh Hikaru unzipped the back of his dress, glad at last that it hung loosely; it was extremely uncomfortable. He simply couldn't fathom how girls could stand to wear them. The bodice drooped forwards, revealing a bra stuffed with large balls of rolled newspaper; he hastily pulled it out and threw it to the floor. Unclipping the bra – after much fumbling and cursing – he hurled it down with a grimace; they were even more uncomfortable. Women had a hard time with what they wore.

Hikaru stepped out of the dress as it flopped to his ankles, and pulled his legs through his trousers, slowly buckling the thin black belt around his skinny waist; once again he had slipped into deep thought. His hands faltered around the straps, and he raised a heavily made up face to the mirror, staring back at his own – exceedingly bizarre – reflection. He heard the door creak open, a pair of footsteps stopping in the doorway.

"Hikaru?" I called, peering around the seemingly empty store room. "Hikaru, are you still in here? The others have all come out," Hikaru cleared his throat, reaching for towel and hastily rubbing at his face.

"Uh, y-yeah," he said, his voice mostly muffled by the towel as he tried to rub away his make up. "I'm through here, Haruhi,"

"Alright," he heard me reply, and the door closed as I walked further into the room. He pulled on his shirt, but didn't button it as he turned to open the curtains; sufficiently satisfied that his appearance was once again manly enough. He saw me sitting on a chair, looking distractedly at the heap of discarded dresses the Hosts had been wearing mere minutes ago. There was still the faintest trace of laughter in my face.

"Hey," he said, walking out through the curtains with his hands stuffed in his back pockets. I looked round, smiling almost guiltily. He drew up an upturned box and sat down before me, the sleeve of his shirt slipping down over one shoulder. When I didn't speak he frowned, leaning a little towards me. "Haruhi, is there something wrong?"

I shook my head.

"No, no," I replied, sighing. "Everything's fine, Hikaru. It's just…" I paused, looking at him. His face was still tinged with concern. "I guess I wanted to thank you,"

"Thank me?" he said. I nodded. "What do you mean?"

"Well… I heard from Kaoru that this was all your idea," I explained. He didn't speak, and I watched him intently. "Is that…is that true, Hikaru?" His dark green eyes flicked to me, before he looked away, staring resolutely at the floor.

"Yeah…" he said quietly, "Yeah, it's true; this was my idea," I smiled, but he continued to look disheartened. "I just… well, I just didn't want you to leave, so badly, I... I thought everything would suck if you left," There was silence for a moment, before I stood up and threw my arms around him. He was so surprised that he didn't know what to do. "H-Haruhi?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said quickly, letting go and smiling awkwardly. My hands were on his shoulders as I looked at him. His face was still utterly shocked. I laughed. "I guess that I'm just so thankful to have so many people that care about me, to go this far to get me to stay; even though I would never dream of leaving anyway," Hikaru's slightly open mouth twitched in a smile, which I returned. "What you did today made me laugh like nothing else has, and I've never felt such a sense of belonging. You were all so amazing,"

He laughed.

"So, which one of us _was_ the prettiest?" he asked, grinning.

"Oh, you of course!" I said sarcastically, laughing. "But you're still no match against me," I winked. He sucked the air through his teeth.

"Reckon I still had bigger boobs than you, though," he teased.

"Oh, shut up!" I cried, giving him a playful shove. He laughed, pretending to fall backwards. When he straightened up his face seemed to flash with sudden realization.

"Oh, hey, I almost forgot!" he said, reaching a hand inside his pocket. He withdrew his closed hand, and I looked at it with a slight frown. He slowly unfurled his fingers, holding out his open hand to me. My eyes widened a little. "I believe this is yours," My pen was lying flat on his palm, polished and sleek as if new. I stared at him for a moment, before he took my hand and pressed the pen into it.

"Hikaru…" I breathed.

"I figured you might want it back," he said.

"But…how did you…?"

"I bought it from the girl who had originally won it in the auction," he replied, and I looked up from my slightly trembling hand. "I paid almost sixty-thousand yen for that. I hope it's worth it, Haruhi," My lip trembled, before I flung my arms around him in a hug so tight it choked him. For a moment his arms simply hovering in surprise, but then he slowly lowered them around my waist. "It was a keepsake from your mom, wasn't it?" he said quietly. I pulled back, silent. I nodded.

"Yes…it was," I admitted, my arms slipping from him. My hands twisted together around my pen, fumbling as if I couldn't feel them. "It's because of her that I wanted to enroll here, to study hard and become a lawyer just like her. But, actually, what I said about staying here for my education wasn't entirely true; I want to stay because of all of you," We smiled at one another for a few moments. But then my cheeks flushed slightly, and I bit my lip, taking a few steps back. "You, I could say, most of all,"

"What!?" he asked, bewildered. He got to his feet, and I turned my head away slightly. "Haruhi, what?" I shrugged, and there was another silence.

"Do you remember that night?" I said in a low, timid voice. "Back when we went to the beach, and we were staying in the villa?" I saw him nod slowly out the corner of my eye. "Well… I heard Kaoru say that you were just as worried, about what happened, as Tamaki-senpai," His jaw tightened, and I turned my head to look at him. "I just wondered…why,"

"You want to know why?" he whispered, gazing at me sadly through those dark olive eyes of his. I paused, before nodding meekly. Silence. Hikaru's ruffled tawny head looked slowly away, and I saw his hands clench uncomfortably.

"Sorry…" I said weakly, in a voice little more than a breath. "I've obviously upset you… Excuse me," I turned to leave, my head slightly bowed as I walked.

"I don't know…" Hikaru said.

"It's fine," I said, taking up the door handle. "It doesn't matter," I made as if to open the door, but I stopped. "I shouldn't ask questions I don't want to know the answers to…" For a moment I simply looked at the handle in my grasp, hearing Hikaru sit down behind me, before I sighed and rested my forehead on the door. But I knew that, for some inexplicable reason, I wanted to know the answer. I wanted to know if there was something… I didn't know what I was thinking, it didn't make any sen—

"I _was_ worried…" his voice broke the silence, and I turned to look at him over my shoulder. He was sitting with his head in his hands, staring at his knees. "I don't know why… I think it's just because…because you're important to me, Haruhi," My lips parted, and I gazed at him in silence. He slowly raised his head, our eyes connecting. He got to his feet, starting towards me. "I don't understand it, though. Whenever someone hurts you, or is insulting you, I just feel like I can't stand it," He was frowning as he came closer, and soon he was standing before me, my back against the door. "When me and Kaoru were fighting, and he threw you down, even though we were only pretending I got mad. It was like my blood was boiling, and I just wanted to hurt Kaoru as much as I could for what he'd done…"

"Hikaru, that's awful," I whispered, my eyes fixed on his. He closed them, bowing his head.

"I know, I know," he sighed, shaking his head. "And, given everything that we've been through together, Kaoru is one of the last people on Earth I'd ever want to hurt. Also, going back to that night, when I found out what Kyoya almost did to you—"

"He never meant to," I interrupted. "Kyoya-senpai said he was never going t—" He scowled, raising his fists and beating them against the door on either side of my head, his eyes fixed upon my face. I flinched, my eyes widening.

"Haruhi, I don't _care_ whether he was going to or not!" he hissed spitefully. I stared at him, my mouth hanging slightly open. "That's what I'm trying to say! Even though it was fake I wanted to kill him for putting you in that situation; even now I don't like it when he's near you," His fingers trembled slightly against the wood of the door, the sleeve slipping further down his arm. "I just…" He shook his head, panting slightly as he looked at me. His eyes were earnest, but the words didn't seem to come. "I-I just… Haruhi, I…I…"

"Yes, Hikaru?" I whispered, my heart quickening as I listened intently for the words that seemed to cause him so much grief.

"Haruhi, I-I-I…" He gritted his teeth, his hands clenching into fists against the door before turning away. "I can't … I don't even know…" He sank to his knees on the floor, and I looked down at him.

"Hikaru?"

He shook his head sadly, not looking at me. I slowly bent down, watching him closely.

"Hikaru, are you alright?" He raised his head, and I saw that his eyes were glistening. "Oh, Hikaru… You're hurting yourself,"

"It seems like everything hurts me, these days," he said, looking at me through his blurred green eyes. "It's only really you that makes it worthwhile; you and the Host Club," I sighed wretchedly, wrapping my arms around him and drawing him into a warm hug. He raised his hands and held me tightly, his face resting against my shoulder. "Haruhi, you're just so funny and light-hearted. My life used to seem dark and bereft of bright things, when the only person I truly trusted was Kaoru. But even until you joined he Host Club it always felt like something was missing, that everything was just so closed up,"

"Sshhh…" I breathed, rocking with him slightly and lightly stroking his messy orange hair. "Sshhh…" It seemed so strange to have Hikaru – of all people – so quiet and sad; like a small boy who just needed someone to love him. I realized how that was almost the same as how I used to feel; alone at home while dad worked, without mom around to look after me anymore.

"But now you've become a person I can care about, too," he whispered, closing his eyes against me. His fingers tightened for a moment on my back, squeezing my shoulderblades. "And I still don't understand it; I've only ever had a brother before, so to feel this way about you is—"

"Hikaru, I realize now," I said, drawing my head back to look at him. "And… I think I feel the same way,"

"You…do? How?"

"Yes," I said quietly, "Because of this family quirk of Tamaki-senpai's, and when you called me 'sis' on that night at the beach… Well it seems only natural for a brother to hate anything bad that happens to his sister; like when Kaoru threw me, or when Kyoya—"

"Tried to rape you," Hikaru muttered resentfully. I opened my mouth to object, but sighed.

"The point is that you and Kaoru are the closest I've ever felt to siblings," I continued, smiling faintly. "You're the brother I never had, Hikaru," I leaned forward and kissed him briefly on the cheek, so that his face flushed like a tomato. I laughed. "And I know that you think of me as a sister, too," He raised a hand to his cheek, and felt the warmth left there by my kiss.

"Yeah…_sister_…" he mumbled. I smiled as I got up to leave, and he looked up at me in silence for a moment. "Haruhi!" he said quickly, getting to his feet.

"Yes?" I replied, almost too fast, as I turned to look at him.

"Haruhi…" He started, looking into my expectant face. He took hold of my arms. "H-Haruhi, that's not…" He sighed, shaking his head.

"Hikaru, what is it?"

"Nothing…" he whispered. "It's nothing…sorry…"

"It's okay," I smiled. He weakly returned it. We stood in silence for a moment, before he bent his head and kissed the top of my hair. I blushed, gazing up at him as he pulled away. Another silence. "I should…" I looked at the door, and then back to him. "I'll just…" He bowed his head, letting go of me and walking back towards the curtains. "Bye, Hikaru," I said quietly over my shoulder as he vanished behind the curtains. Then I pushed open the door and slipped outside.

In the silence that followed Hikaru stared at his reflection, his fingers hovering above the spot where I had kissed him. His heart was thumping, his breaths a little shaky as he stood – swaying slightly.

"I don't understand. I-I mean… This just isn't right…" he told himself. There was a long silence, where he simply looked back into his own eyes. _And yet you want it to be…_ a quiet voice in his head purred.


	10. A Day in the life of the Fujioka Family

****I decided to make Haruhi's block of flats really big, y'know – like the ones they have in England or America (kinda like the ones in 'Friends' and 'Big Bang Theory'…don't know if you do know, but whatever) And also, for the cake scene, I'm really sorry for Takashi fans (I love him too, and I try to involve him as much as I possibly can, but I needed that moment for Hikaru /3)**

Chapter 10

A Day in the Life of the Fujioka Family

Six boys were standing before a small, dilapidated house. The correct word to describe it would have been 'hovel'. The windows were crusty with grime, so thick with dirt that light barely made it inside. Moss and mouldering green plants sprouted from the roof, cracks running up the crumbling stone walls. The path leading towards the front door, the red paint peeling off onto the filthy welcoming mat, was thick and overgrown with brambles and weeds. Only the weather-worn sign on the broken gate proclaiming 'Fujioka' would have revealed it as inhabited.

The six boys stared at it with shock and distaste, the same thought crossing each of their minds; Haruhi lives _here_? There was a box clutched in Tamaki's hands, labelled to be deluxe confectionary.

"This can't be right," he said weakly, putting a hand on the gate to push it open. It creaked loudly on its rusted hinges. "I'm sure this can't really be her house…maybe she's moved and we've got the wrong address?"

"You know she'd tell us first," the twins said.

"I know that!" Tamaki cried, turning sharply to face them, quite forgetting to let go of the gate. "I just—aargh!" For he had managed to rip the gate clean off its ruined hinges, and he clutched it tightly with one of his hands. His eyes were wide as he saw what he had just done. The splintering front door opened with a loud creak, and he looked round quickly. There was a small, thin figure in the dank doorway, smiling feebly at them. "Haruhi!" he cried, hastily dropping the broken gate into a large patch of bramble. "It wasn't me, I swear!"

"But it kinda was," the twins said.

"Shut up!" Tamaki hissed. I rubbed my eyes against the bright sunlight, pulling the door open completely. I seemed to come to my senses, realizing who it was.

"Hey, guys," I said weakly, my voice croaking slightly. I stepped out into the light, and six pairs of eyes widened slightly. My cheeks and arms were caked with dirt and dust, my hair greasy and thin. My eyes were tired, dark rings beneath them, and hollows on my cheeks. My clothes were ragged too, and looked as though they hadn't been washed for days. "You've come earlier than we expected. Why don't you come in?"

I stepped aside, beckoning them over feebly. They exchanged nervous and uncertain glances, but then Tamaki started forwards. I led the way inside, and Mori closed the door behind us. The hall was almost black, with a cold, damp smell of decay from all around. The boys wrinkled their noses as we walked towards one of the two other rooms in the house. I pulled the chord on the light, and a single light bulb flickered into life, illuminating the small room.

There was a very small fridge in the corner, a rusty sink beside it. There was a pile of dirty and crusty pots and pans beside it on a greasy counter. A bucket was positioned beneath a hole in the ceiling, almost full of dark water. A few pieces of newspaper littered the floor, and an odd assortment of makeshift cushions sat, collecting dust, around a lopsided coffee table. There was a small door just to our right, leading to the only other room in the house. A cupboard door was open above our heads, revealing a few cans of beans and some ground coffee.

I turned to face them, and they instantly tried to hide their looks of disparagement.

"I know it's not much," I said, "But please try to make yourselves at home. I-I'll make us some coffee. You guys get comfortable," I motioned towards the low table in the centre of the room. They obliged, positioning themselves around it. Only little Honey was able to get truly comfortable, the others having to make due with their long legs bending so that their knees poked above the tabletop.

I bent down and pulled open the counter door, retrieving a mismatched group of containers and a teapot. I set them down on a tray, and counted out seven. There were two actual mugs, but chipped and with a thin layer of grime around the rim. A set of three measuring cups, a small plastic milk jug and an old coffee pot sat beside them. "Sorry, but we don't really have enough cups. Dad and I don't usually have company," I stepped up on my tiptoes, reaching earnestly for the plastic coffee pot. My fingers scrabbled around, just an inch from it.

"Wait, Haruhi, I'll get it," Tamaki said, making as if to get to his feet. Just as he stood up I made a final wild swipe, and snatched the pot from its place. "Oh…okay then…" Tamaki mumbled, slowly sinking back down to the floor.

I made the coffee, almost laboriously, as though it was painful for me to move. Tamaki watched me the whole time from his seat at the table. His blue eyes seemed sad as they followed my every move, alternating waves of pity and distaste spreading through him.

"I'll be just a minute," I said, turning and pushing open the second door and disappearing inside. They caught a glimpse of another dark room, before the door closed again.

"Hey boss, what's with this place?" the twins whispered, leaning their heads toward him. "There's no possible way such a nice girl could live here,"

"Calm down, you guys," he replied quietly. "I'm sure this is just a cupboard room or something. The rest of the house is just beyond that door, I'm certain of it,"

"Then shouldn't we try to open it?"

"Now is not the time, you idiots!" Tamaki hissed, knocking their heads together. I reappeared at the doorway, closing it behind me, and they instantly fell silent.

"Dad says that since you're such important guests," I said, walking over to the fridge. "It would be rude of me not to offer up some good food," I pulled open the door, and a dim light flickered weakly as I peered inside. "We've been fasting three days so we could save up for this," Tamaki's mouth dropped slightly open, his eyes glistening slightly. I reached inside and my hand clasped around a package.

"Haruhi…" he said quietly, getting to his feet and walking around the table to me. "You really didn't have to do that," I straightened up, smiling weakly at him.

"No, it's okay," I whispered, feeling a boiling hunger starting in my stomach. "You're more important to me, senpai," I held up the box I had brought out, and he saw what the label said; deluxe confectionary - the exact same one that he had brought as a gift. "It's all worth it…f-for you…" His heart seemed to sink to the bottom of an extremely deep hole. My stomach growled hungrily, and I gasped in pain, clutching a hand to it.

"Haruhi!" Tamaki cried, reaching out and grabbing me as I stumbled backwards. "Haruhi, are you okay?" My eyes flickered, and I felt like being sick for hunger. I coughed, clenching my eyes tightly at the crippling pain it brought. "Haruhi!" He dropped to his knees, batting away the twins and laying my head down on one of the pillows. "Haruhi!" I groaned in pain, my fingers tightening convulsively on my stomach.

"Haruhi!" he shouted, jerking awake. He was panting heavily, his night clothes and forehead cold with sweat. He looked around him, seeing his large bedroom. He was sitting in his four-poster bed, shaking slightly, a large goose feather pillow clutched in his arms like I had just been in his dream. He gave a little shriek, and hastily dropped it at the foot of the bed. He sat up a little straighter, leaning his back against the mahogany bedstead. He sighed, wiping his forehead with a sleeve. "Just a dream…"

He pushed off the covers, swinging his long legs to the floor and getting to his feet. He shrugged off his shirt, walking over to his large wardrobe and pulling open the doors. He pulled on a clean white, slipping on his blue academy tie. Putting his arms through his blazer, he turned for the door to the landing. He pushed it open, turning down the corridor toward the sleek marble staircase. He hurried down the well-polished stairs, straightening his tie as he went. At the foot of the stairs he picked up his bag from a maid, who bowed low as he passed.

"Good morning, Master Suoh," came a voice to his right. He looked round to see an elderly woman, the housekeeper, standing in a doorway with a tray of tea and buttered toast. "I was about to bring this to your room. Is there anything I can do for you this morning?"

"I need to get going, Shima," he said briskly, motioning for one of the butlers by the front door. "Kindly get the car ready," he said to a man in smart black uniform.

"Of course, sir," the man said, bowing and heading for a room to the left.

"I must beg your pardon, Master Tamaki," Shima said, walking forwards and falling into step beside Tamaki. He didn't so much as look at her. His face was set, his mind racing. He had always respected the personal lives of the other club members, so hadn't intruded on my privacy before. But what if I really was living in destitute poverty? What if that hovel really was my home? He had to see me, to get the truth from me. He _had _to get to school. Tamaki was almost at the door, and a butler pulled it open for him. He took a step outside.

"Master Tamaki, I'm afraid I cannot let you leave the house like this!" Shima snapped. He paused, looking back at her.

"And why not?" he asked coldly, "I was under the impression that you weren't in control of when and where I go," Shima sighed.

"Because you are still wearing your pyjama bottoms, and house slippers," she said shortly, pointing at his legs. He looked down, his eyes widening in surprise. He cried out in irritation, dropping his bag to the floor and turning to race back towards the staircase. His fluffy blue slippers flew from his feet as he ran, his bare feet slipping on the marble stairs. He threw open the door to his room, and, not even bothering to remove his pyjamas, wrenched on his school trousers and jammed his feet into his shoes. He ran back down the staircase, and Shima watched him with slight amusement as he hurried towards her by the door. "Well," she said, "he's not the brightest young man,"

Tamaki was fuming as he slowed to a walk for the last few steps, his face flushing red. He cleared his throat, stopping and picking up his bag.

"Yes, well, thank you Shima," he said quickly, "I'll be going now,"

"I hate to be a bother, Master Tamaki," Shima said, a faint hint of laughter in her voice. Tamaki scowled at her, tapping his foot impatiently. "But today is Sunday," Tamaki's eyes widened, and a bemused smile appeared on Shima's lined face. He paused, his blue eyes widening. "Which, correct me if I'm wrong, means you don't have to go to school today, sir,"

"Oh…really?" he asked coolly, running a hand through his thick blonde hair. "Well, why didn't you make me aware of that fact earlier?"

"As your head of staff and housekeeper, it is my duty to serve you, Master Tamaki," Shima replied, but didn't stop for Tamaki to speak. "However it is my wish to turn you into a proper gentleman!"

"Proper gentlema—"

"So you must be able to recognize your own mistakes!" she interrupted, taking hold of his arm and starting to lead him back towards the staircase. "And don't interrupt a woman when she's speaking. Since it appears you have some free time on your hands, I think I'll help work on your manners,"

"No!" he cried, wrenching his arm from her grip. "Not until I've done what I have to do," Shima bowed her head in assent, and he turned towards a maid. "You, Yuki, get me my phone. Immediately, please,"

"Right away, Master Tamaki," the girl curtseyed, and headed briskly up the staircase. Tamaki tapped his foot agitatedly as she entered his room, ruffling his hair distractedly every few seconds.

"Master Tamaki, do stop fidgeting," Shima said, "It is most unbecoming of a gentlemen," Tamaki scowled at her, but stopped all the same. When Yuki reappeared at the top of the stairs he hurried up them to meet her halfway.

"Thank you, Yuki," he said quickly, taking the small device from her hands. "You are dismissed,"

"Thank you, sir," she said, bowing. "Have a pleasant morning," She walked down the stairs and out of sight into the parlour. Tamaki flipped up the top of his mobile, and instantly began typing into the electronic keyboard. He put the phone to his ear, feverishly pacing back and forth along the stairs as he heard the muted ringing.

"Hello?" a voice answered from the other end. Tamaki didn't waste a second.

"Mama?" he said quickly. He heard a quiet sigh from Kyoya. "There's something I need to talk to you about," Shima raised her greying eyebrows, a bemused smile on her wrinkled face. This was something she could tell the maids for years to come.

…. ….

I was walking home from the supermarket, my skirt and four plastic bags swinging around my knees. There was a small smile on my face, as the warm morning sun shone down onto the clean street around me. I smiled as I passed people down the pavement, sometimes stopping for a quick chat if I recognized someone. It had been a good day so far; there had been a huge sale at the market, no better time for one than a Sunday morning. All I had to do when I got home was a bit of cleaning, some laundry and then cook a great lunch for me and dad with the food I had just bought. And it felt rather nice to wear a dress again, especially without the Hosts all staring after me with suppressed laughter. Or gaping mouths. Cough, 'daddy', cough…

I turned the corner, humming quietly to myself. I saw a large crowd of people at the end of the street before our block of flats, and my little tune faltered. I hurried forwards, curious as to what all the fuss was about. I heard awed voices as I approached.

"Wow, look at that car,"

"They must be really rich,"

"It's certainly something you don't see everyday,"

I pushed through the crowd of people, trying to get to the front.

"Here you are, Master Suoh," a tall man said, pulling open a door to a shiny, freshly waxed limousine. I stopped dead at the name, my eyes wide.

"Thank you," came an all too familiar voice from inside. Sure enough, Tamaki climbed out of the car, pulling a pair of expensive-looking shades from his eyes. Behind him clambered the twins, and on the other side the door was opened for Honey, Mori and Kyoya. How did they all find me? I could have died at that moment.

I hastily turned around and darted back through the crowd, hoping that none of them had seen me. I leaned against the wall, glaring at the sky. How _dare_ they just come by, completely unannounced, and make a scene in the middle of the street!? They all turned to look at my block of flats, taking in all twelve floors. I heard the sound of a car driving off, and turned my head to see the chauffer and the limousine disappearing around the corner.

"So Haruhi lives here?" the twins asked, a little impressed. "She doesn't do too bad for herself, to live here,"

"Yeah, just _look_ at it!" Honey cried, excited. "Look at all the rooms! I bet it's even bigger than yours, Tama-chan!" Some of the younger girls in the crowd giggled, cooing over the sweet little boy before them. Kyoya fished his little black book from his hoodie pocket, flicking through the pages.

"Sounds good to me," the twins said, turning to grin at Tamaki. "We could play around with her all we want, and you'd probably never find us,"

"Kyoya, why did you bring all these insensitive idiots!?" Tamaki cried, turning on his friend. "Especially those two perverted doppelgangers!" He jabbed a finger in the direction of the twins, who cracked up laughing.

"Well, you see," Kyoya replied, a wry smile on his face. "I knew you didn't have the courage to come here alone, so I thought it be best if everyone came along," His smile widened as Tamaki's face flushed an angry shade of red. He shrugged, turning away and taking the twins by the hoods of their jackets. "Well, let's go home," he said, starting to lead them away. "It seems we have underestimated our great leader; we should just leave him to his business with Haruhi _alone_…"

"Wha—we're not going home!" the twins cried indignantly. I was starting towards them now, shaking my head slowly and grinding my teeth.

"No, no, Kyoya, that's okay," Tamaki said quickly, grabbing Kyoya by the shoulder and holding him back. "Y-you guys can't leave, I can't face it alone!"

"Sweet," the twins said, grinning.

"But just remember," Tamaki said cautiously, drawing them all in closer. "Don't say anything that might offend Haruhi, or her father, to make them ask us to leave,"

"Well, it's too late for that, jerks," I called. Tamaki froze, turning his head to see me walking towards them all. "Go away, and just leave me alone!"

"Haruhi…" Tamaki said weakly, looking me up and down. "That…dress looks cute on you…"

"Oh, shut up, and get the hell out of here!" I said angrily, scowling at him.

"Gladly," the twins said, pulling away from the others. "We haven't seen you this mad since you slapped him in the face,"

"No, guys, we're here for a reason!" Tamaki said hastily, pulling the twins back. They shrugged him off.

"No, we're not," they said, "You're the only one who's actually bothered about it, so just talk to her yourself," I rolled my eyes.

"If you're so intent on staying, then I would be generally happier if I wasn't left alone with this idiot, no matter what his business may be with me," I was standing in their midst now, my eyebrows slightly raised at Tamaki. "Just in case he wanted to 'look after' me again," Tamaki blushed scarlet before the twins started laughing as they remembered the evening where they had walked in on us in Kyoya's room, the blindfold wrapped around my eyes. I rounded on them. "And just so you know, I'm not going to 'play' with you guys either!" At this they fell silent, exchanging annoyed glances.

"You're sure about that?" Hikaru asked.

"Well, I don't see how I could, even if I wanted to!" I scoffed, frowning at him. "My house is tiny, and yet you expect to never be found? How big of a retard are you?"

"Who are you calling retard!?" he replied hotly, scowling. "And since when was this—" He motioned towards the high building behind him. "—tiny?" I was silent for a moment. Then I started laughing.

"You're such an idiot!" I laughed, dropping my bags to the ground. "You honestly thought that_ this_ was my house?" They all nodded sheepishly, except for Kyoya.

"It's a block of flats, you imbeciles," he said, and I raised my arms in exasperation.

"_Thank_ you!" I sighed, rolling my eyes. "At least someone round here knows what the hell they're doing," They all looked at him, a little confused. He returned his attention to his book, holding it open at the right page.

"The building may be large, but the whole thing is divided up into many different apartments for various families," He flipped his book shut, putting it away in his pocket. "Meaning that Haruhi does indeed live here, but in a set of rooms generally much smaller than the main building, right?"

"Right," I replied, stooping to pick up my bags. "Now that we have that cleared up, you can all go off in your fancy car, and leave me to my chores in peace and quiet," The twins exchanged looks, before they reached out and snatched a bag each from the ground. "Wha—hey, I need those!" I said hotly, letting go of the other two and swiping at the twins. They jumped back, grinning. "God, you're so annoying!"

They raised the bags above their heads, and I made a wild jump towards them. They knew that the difference in our heights played greatly to their advantage, and I cursed for it. I swiped at them again.

"Guys, seriously," I stressed, "I _need_ those, it's all the food we have for this we—aargh!" I had tripped on a loose shingle in the pavement, and crashed forwards straight into Hikaru. I knocked him back onto the road, the bag sent flying through the air. Its contents spilled onto the pavement, the bag ripping. We landed with a loud thud, and for a moment we stared into each other's shocked faces, me crouched almost directly on top of him. I felt my cheeks flush red.

"Oh! Hikaru, I'm so sorry!" I said quickly, pushing myself off him and getting to my feet. He continued to stare up at the sky, his green eyes wide, his cheeks pink. "Hikaru, are you okay?" I asked, stooping and waving a hand in front of his face. He didn't even blink, but I noticed a small trickle of red down his forehead and mingling with his hair. "Oh God, you're injured," I bent down and helped him to his feet, and he staggered upright, swaying. He winced, gripping a hand over his knee. "Kaoru, can you help me get him to the apartment? We have a first-aid kit there," Kaoru hastily nodded, slinging his brother's arm around his shoulders.

"I'll get these," I heard Tamaki say, and I turned to see him already on his knees and packing the fallen items into one of the remaining bags.

"No, senpai, it's fine," I said, "Really. I'll make two trips,"

"No, it's not fine," he replied shortly, taking hold of all three bags and straightening up. "It's my fault for allowing these idiots to come along in the first place. If it weren't for me he'd be alright," I started towards the block of flats, helping Hikaru forward with the support of Kaoru. Tamaki followed, quickly falling into step beside me. Honey and Mori followed, and Kyoya lagged behind with his hands in his hoodie pocket.

"But just why are you here, anyway?" I asked, holding open the front doors for the twins to pass through. I continued to hold it for the others, looking up at Tamaki. "You were hardly just passing by," His cheeks flushed slightly pink, and he hurried inside past me. "Hey, come on, tell me," I said, hurrying after him. I took hold of Hikaru's arm, and lifted it around my shoulder. "Senpai, tell me; why are you here?" He didn't say anything.

"Because he's a nosy git," Hikaru said, and I turned my head to look at him. He was grinning. "And you agreed to let us see your house…remember?" I remembered, all too well. Shouting at the pink and blue haired boys that they could come and see my house, if they would just stop acting like such idiots. I rolled my eyes, pressing the button for the lift.

"You never let anything go, do you?" I asked with a sigh. The twins laughed, before Hikaru clapped a hand to his head. I heard the mechanical whirring of the lift as it travelled down towards us, and then the metal doors parted with a chime. It was a small lift, big enough for about three people, perhaps a child as well. "We're going to have to make two trips, you guys," I said, stepping inside with the twins, hitching up Hikaru's arm around my shoulders. "We're on floor seven, okay? We'll wait for you outside the lift,"

"Just you and us, then?" the twins asked, grins appearing on their faces. They both turned to look at Tamaki. He was fuming slightly.

"Yeah…" I said uncomfortably, "Why? I just thought we could give Hikaru some space. Do you two have a problem, or something?" Their grins widened.

"No, no, it's not _us_ that have a problem with it," they replied. Tamaki's face reddened slightly. "Probably just the thought of us alone together…" Redder.

"The three of us by ourselves, with nobody else around," Hikaru said. And redder.

"In a completely different place, many floors up," Kaoru said. Tamaki's face was almost like a giant turnip. The twins were grinning so widely their cheeks were in danger of splitting.

"Umm…okay, then," I said, reaching for the seventh floor button. "See you guys up there," The doors started slowly closing.

"Wait!" Tamaki cried, darting forwards and throwing himself through the gap in the doors. "There's room enough for four!" He knocked me away from Hikaru, slamming me against the wall and pinning me there.

"Senapi, get the hell out!" I cried, pushing him off me. But the doors had already closed, and the ground beneath our feet shuddered as the lift began to slowly rise. There was very little room now, all four of us crammed in together. The twins were cramped into a corner, and with the three bags on the floor there was very little room for much else. Tamaki was pressed up against me, my back pushed against the wall. He was so close our noses almost touched. Both our faces were flushed and red. There was silence for a while.

"Well…" Tamaki said, turning his head to look away from me. "This is…cosy…" Cosy? No, the correct word was mortifying. I had a boy pressed up against me, skin on skin, all but touching noses with me, and he calls it cosy? What the hell, senpai!? _What the hell!?_

When I heard the whirring of the lift slow to a halt I could have cried out with relief. The doors parted, and I pushed Tamaki back from me as soon as I could. He reeled backwards, slipping over a bag and slamming against the wall of the corridor. He steadied himself on a table, and looked back at me.

"You," I said quickly, stooping and picking up the bags. "Help Hikaru, I'm going to unlock the apartment," I walked out the lift, brusquely passing him. "Don't do anything stupid," I started down the corridor, reaching around inside my pocket for the key to our rooms. Hikaru waited until I was far enough away, before he turned on Tamaki.

"Cosy, was it?" he asked, limping out of the lift towards him. His face was still red. Kaoru was silent as he followed him. "Nice and sweet and cosy, pressed up against a girl so you're almost snogging her?" He scoffed, letting himself down into a chair by the doors. "God, you're a creep. I swear you'll be a rapist when you're older,"

"Why are you taking this so bad, huh?" Tamaki said coldly, leaning over Hikaru in his chair. "You seem pretty damn sour that you didn't get to be with her, by yourself," He looked Hikaru up and down, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were covering up a crush," Hikaru's eyes narrowed, his cheeks flushing angrily.

"Then maybe it's a good thing you know me better," he muttered, scowling up at Tamaki. I fitted the key in the lock, and twisted it. I left the door slightly ajar, and turned back to the others.

"Hey, Hikaru?" I called. He looked down at me, the scowl vanishing from his face. "Are you okay to walk? I was just thinking you and I could just get your head cleaned up," He nodded, getting shakily to his feet. "Or do you need Tamaki-senpai to help you?" He looked round too.

"No, thanks," Hikaru replied, taking a few shaky steps forward. "I don't need _his_ help," He shot a dirty look at Tamaki. Kaoru was strangely quiet, standing slightly apart from the others.

"Kaoru, would you mind waiting here with Tamaki until the others get here?" I asked. "I just think it'd be easier if I just fix up your brother, and make some coffee while we wait," He shrugged. Tamaki's back stiffened at the mention of coffee.

"No prob," he said, sitting down in the recently vacated chair.

"Great, thanks," I said, starting towards Hikaru. Just then he tripped, quite suddenly, falling forwards to the floor. He groaned in pain, clutching a hand to his leg. "Hikaru!" I cried, hurrying forwards and dropping to my knees. "Hikaru, are you okay?" He nodded, gritting his teeth. "Come on, I'll get you inside," I reached an arm around his shoulders, and gently helped him to his feet. I looked up, and saw that Tamaki hadn't even moved to help. I gasped in disgust.

"God, senpai, you're such a jerk!" I muttered, holding an arm around Hikaru's waist. Tamaki looked as though I'd just punched him in the face. "Hikaru just falls over, right in front of you, and you don't even _try_ to help him? You're such a self-obsessed git," Tamaki's face flushed furiously, his expression like that of a slap with a giant metal hand.

I walked away down the corridor to the apartment, helping Hikaru to hobble along. He turned his head, grinning back at Tamaki. In reality his leg was fine, his only real injury the cut on his forehead. He limped along with practiced ease, delighting in Tamaki's scolding.

"Self-obsessed git," he mouthed, and Tamaki glowered at him. He hooked an arm around my shoulder, pausing for a moment to wince. "Ah!" he hissed through gritted teeth. "God, it hurts!"

"Ssshh…" I whispered soothingly, rubbing a hand up and down his arm. "You'll be okay. If you want, the others can wait outside while I fix you up?" We paused outside the door to the apartment, and he looked at me with a weak smile. His face was a little flushed.

"Really?" he asked meekly, "Well…I'd appreciate that. I feel comfortable around you, and I don't really like being around people that much," I returned his smile, reaching to push open the door.

"Likewise," I replied, swinging the door open. "If I'm honest, I'm kinda glad it's just you and me," I helped him inside, closing the door behind us. His smile was a little wider now, but I was hardly looking at him. "I couldn't stand to have Tamaki in here," Hikaru laughed, and I allowed myself to join in. We stood there for a few moments, simply laughing. Then Hikaru's hand slipped from around my shoulder, and his fingers seemed to trace the skin down my arm to my own hand. I didn't notice, wiping my eyes with my other hand. His hovered above mine for a moment, before he stuffed it in his jacket pocket, his fingers brushing the top of my hand as he did so.

"D'you mind if I just sit down for a minute?" he asked, pointing towards the nearby blue sofa. "It's just…my leg still kinda hurts,"

"'Course," I replied, walking past him towards the main body of the room. "I'll get some coffee started, then I won't be a minute to get your head all cleaned up,"

"Thanks," he said gratefully, sinking onto the two-person sofa and crossing his legs.

"Won't be a second," I said, pushing open a door around the corner. I dropped my purse on the floor of my bedroom, and opened another door opposite, walking forwards to the bathroom sink.

"Sure," Hikaru sighed, rubbing his cheek absentmindedly. He looked around, resting his chin in his hand, his elbow propped up on his knee. The fingers of his other hand were lightly tapping the smooth surface of the coffee table before him. There were a few tidy kitchen counters close by, followed by a large white fridge and a gas oven. There was a round, woven rug on the floor, extending to just before a large table with a set of chairs around it. There was a wide square window, overlooking the rooftops of the town. There was a small bed of flowers just below it. Opposite him, beyond the coffee table, was a small rectangular television.

Hikaru smiled faintly. It wasn't much, but it was sweet. Homely. He heard the tap running in a nearby room, and turned his head towards the sound. I reappeared, holding a damp cloth and a bowl of water in my hands.

"Sorry about the mess," I said, setting down the bowl beside him on the table. "I was planning on doing some cleaning when I got back," I smiled a little. "You guys really interrupted my schedule,"

"Ha, sorry about that," Hikaru grinned, with a small laugh. I laughed too.

"And I was _so_ looking forward to it," I said wistfully, heaving a dramatic sigh. We both laughed for a minute, and when we quieted down we looked at each other for a moment, letting slip the odd detached laugh. His eyes flicked from my face to the floor, and then back. His cheeks were a little pink, more so than was normal, but I hardly noticed. We were silent for a while.

"So…" his voice broke the silence, his fingers drumming the tabletop again. His gaze flicked to the water bowl. "Weren't you going to—"

"Oh, right!" I said quickly, laughing. "Sorry, sometimes I just have these moments," He laughed, shrugging.

"Don't we all?" he replied. I dabbed the cloth in the water, and wrung it out above the bowl. I raised it to his forehead, poised.

"This may sting just a little," I said, starting to dab at the cut on his face. He winced. "Oh, come on, you big baby!"

"Hey," he said, with a small laugh. "I'm not Tamaki,"

I laughed, continuing to wipe away the blood on his skin. He fell silent, smiling at me. I was bent over him, taking hold of his face to steady it, gently dabbing at his skin. His eyes seemed to flick all across my face, as though he was trying to take in every inch of my complexion. He was strangely quiet, breathing through slightly parted lips. I pulled away, declaring myself as finished, and put the cloth into the bowl.

I turned away, but then I felt a hand close around my arm. I looked back, surprised. Hikaru was holding me gently, but there was a kind of estranged purpose about the way his fingers wrapped around my skin. There was a sense of almost possession.

"Hikaru?" I asked. He was looking intently into my face. "Is…there something wrong?" He shook his head, blinking quickly as though pulling himself from a stupor. He hastily let go of my arm, retracting himself back into the chair.

"S-sorry," he said quickly, "I guess I'm just tired, or something," He rubbed at his eyes, ruffling up his hair. "I-I…could really do with some coffee, or something,"

"Oh, I forgot!" I cried, clapping a hand to my forehead. "I was going to make some, wasn't I? God, I'm an idiot!" I laughed, setting down the bowl and starting towards one of the counters and pulling it open to draw out a pair of mugs; I knew the others would probably soon arrive, but now that Hikaru seemed better would there be very much point in letting them in? But if I did that then how horrible would I seem? To let only Hikaru in, and leaving the others to just go away? I paused, mugs in hand, to think. I shrugged as I set them down and took out a pot of coffee from a cabinet above my head. I clicked on the electronic kettle, scraping out a spoonful of fine brown powder into each of the mugs.

When the water was boiling I poured it in, and stirred both.

"Do you want milk with your coffee?" I called over my shoulder.

"Uh…yeah, sure," he replied, ruffling up his hair again. "I don't really mind, to be honest," He heard the door to the fridge being pulled open, and turned his head to see me pouring a jug of milk into one of the mugs. I put it back in the fridge, now almost empty. He turned back as I closed the door, and walked back towards him.

"Here you go," I said, handing him the mug with milk. "Nice and hot,"

"Thanks," he replied, taking hold of it, and moving along the sofa to make space for me. I sat down, drawing up my legs and leaning back against an arm rest. I took a sip of my coffee, wiggling my toes a little. He laughed softly, taking a drink of his own.

"So, Hikaru," I said, shifting around to get more comfortable. He looked at me, eyebrows slightly raised. "You said earlier you don't really like being around people, right?" He shrugged. "Why's that? You're a Host aren't you?"

"To be honest," he said, taking another sip of coffee. He paused, and then looked back up at me. "It's kind of hard to find the right words. I suppose there just aren't that many people I find truly special, you know?" I nodded, drinking some more coffee. "People that I'd actually want to be around, as opposed to annoying idiots like Tamaki who you just want to get away from," I laughed.

"Ha, I know what you mean," I said, and he grinned at me across the sofa. "You're kind of like me, in a way," I continued, tracing a finger around the rim of my mug. "I don't like big crowds, either. I think it's generally far nicer to be with that one person you truly like, than to be surrounded by others you really couldn't care less about," I smiled across at him, and saw that his cheeks were a little pink. I let out a quick giggle. "Kind of like you, then,"

He said nothing, slowly taking a long drink. His face was flushing a little more.

"I mean," I paused, searching for something more to say. I sighed, shrugging. "When I saw you guys outside I just thought 'Oh, for God's sake, what do they want now?', but now I'm actually kinda glad you came," I ruffled up my hair, smiling playfully. "It's been a while since I've had a friend over. I-I mean a real friend," He smiled weakly, but still didn't say anything. "And almost forever since I had a chat without five other nosy boys listening in," He laughed, and raised the mug to his lips again.

"It's a nice place," he said, looking around the room again. I smiled, taking another sip. "Cosy," I snorted into my coffee, hastily setting it down on the table. I laughed, clapping a hand to my face.

"Oh, Hikaru!" I cried, still laughing. "Please don't _ever_ say that word around me, again!" He opened his mouth to speak, but then understood. He started laughing too, and once he started I could hardly stop. We laughed so hard, and for so long, that my sides started to hurt.

There was an insistent knock at the door and I trailed off, wiping my face with a hand. Hikaru put down his mug, looking round at the door.

"It's probably the others," I said, getting to my feet. I walked past Hikaru towards the door. It hardly escaped my notice that he sat up a little straighter. I pulled open the door. Tamaki was there, the top of his blonde head just a little too tall to be seen.

I pushed him back into the corridor, closing the door behind me.

"Me and Hikaru were just having some coffee together," I explained, "He's cleaned up pretty well. You guys can come in, but not for long, okay? I have so much to do, so you can only stay for about five minutes or so," I heard a stifled sob, and looked down to see Honey's face upturned towards me. There was a large box in his arms, which were drooping sadly.

"B-b-but…" he sniffled, "But…we brought you some cake, Haru-chan…" He held out the box, and I saw that it read 'Deluxe Confectionary'. "I just thought that…m-maybe…you'd want to try some,"

"Oh, Honey," I said soothingly, kneeling down and taking the box from him. "That's so sweet of you, of course I'll have some," His face seemed to light up in an instant.

"You will!?" he cried, beaming. I nodded, smiling. "Yay! Does that mean we can come in?" I faltered for a moment, looking up at the others.

"Err…sure…I was letting you, anyway," I said, getting to my feet again. "Just…just don't do anything to aggravate Hikaru, alright? I think he might be mildly concussed or something," I turned back to the door, trying to juggle between finding the key and keeping the box in my arms stable. When I found it I encountered the even bigger challenge of unlocking the door.

"It's okay, Haruhi," Tamaki said, taking the key from my hand. "I got it,"

"Thanks," I said, stepping back and allowing him to unlock the door. Kaoru stepped up to me, a slightly worried look on his face.

"What do you mean, concussed?" he asked quietly, and I looked at him. "Is he gonna be alright?" I saw that he had been saddled with all three bags.

"Of course," I assured him, "He's fine, just…acting a little weird," Tamaki unlocked the door, and pushed it open for Honey to skip through.

"How do you mean?" Kaoru asked, watching Mori follow through the doorway. I shrugged.

"Just a little bit different, I guess," I replied, "I mean, he was weirdly quiet when I was cleaning up his face, but I s'pose he was just tired or something," Kyoya stepped through the doorway, and Tamaki made to follow. Kaoru frowned; Hikaru hadn't been sleeping properly since the day the Lobelia girls had been defeated, lying in bed beside him and staring up at the ceiling for hours with a pained expression on his face. Kaoru had also been wondering what had happened in the surprisingly long time that myself and Hikaru had been alone together that day. "But then…he was like holding my arm when I pulled away, and he was just kinda holding me there, looking at me in this…" I paused, thinking back to that day subconsciously. I remembered the curious moment when Hikaru had kissed the top of my head, the strange sensations I felt when he held me. "…weird way…" Tamaki faltered, his back stiffening. His gaze shot over to Hikaru on the sofa, already talking to Honey, who was sitting beside him with his legs crossed on the seat. "Then we just kinda had some coffee, and a bit of a chat," I added.

"Really?" Kaoru asked, his frown deepening, leading me past Tamaki through the open doorway. "What did you guys talk about?"

"Oh, umm…" I paused, my gaze flicking over to Hikaru. "I-I guess the way a guy and a girl generally would," Tamaki's eyes narrowed. "You know, like a pair of friends just getting along really well,"

"Uh huh…" Kaoru said, a little sceptically. I shrugged, rolling my eyes. I walked over to the counter, setting down the large box of confectionaries. I set about bringing up another five mugs. I guessed that if they really were staying they may as well have something to drink. I poured the rest of the coffee into them, but filled one up with milk. I guessed, correctly, that Honey didn't like coffee. I set them all on a tray.

"Guys," I turned around, holding out the tray. "Anyone up for coffee?" They nodded, and I walked over towards the large table near the centre of the room. I put down the tray and beckoned them over. "Sit where you like," They obliged. I started towards Hikaru on the sofa. "Do you want to come sit with us, or would you rather have a lie down somewhere?" He shrugged, getting to his feet.

"I'm fine to stay here," he said, and I smiled. I turned round back to the table, seeing the others already seated, and taking sips of their drinks. The only free spaces were beside Kaoru or Tamaki, without being seated apart from them all. Damn.

"Hikaru," I said, my voice a little sour. "You can sit next to Kaoru, alright?"

"Sure," He sank down into his seat, and I sat primly next to Tamaki. Hikaru flashed me and apologetic look, and I shook my head slowly.

"It's okay," I mouthed, "I'm fine to sit next to the self-obsessed git," He tried hard to stifle his laughter, and I couldn't stop myself from smiling. I winked across at him, and reached for my mug. I noticed that Honey had already finished his milk, and was looking around the apartment.

"This is a super cute little room," he giggled, reaching out and picking a flower from the small vase in the middle of the table. "Ooh, these are pretty. I haven't seen them before…" He twirled the stem around in his fingers, gazing at the tiny little white buds. He giggled. "Takashi! It looks just like a cloud!" Mori smiled. He was doing that a lot lately.

"It's Queen Anne's Lace," I said, taking a sip of coffee. "I like going to the park and picking it, because I go there every day,"

"Hey, Haruhi," Kaoru said, and I looked round at him. "Would you mind getting some more milk? This coffee's kinda strong," I shrugged.

"Sure," I said, getting to my feet. I was thankful not to be sitting next to Tamaki, even if it was for about a minute. When I picked up the milk jug I saw that it was at last empty. It seemed that Honey had taken the last of it. "Oh, sorry we've run out," I pulled open the fridge looking inside. "I guess that I forgot to buy some today; I _knew_ there was _something _I forgot,"

"That doesn't matter," Tamaki said, grinding his teeth together and glaring at Kaoru. "I'm sure he'll be fine. Won't you, Kaoru?"

"Well, I—ouch!" Tamaki had delivered a swift kick under the table, and Kaoru fell into a morose silence.

"Kaoru?" I asked, looking back over my shoulder. "Really, it's no trouble to just run back to the store," Kaoru opened his mouth to speak, but Tamaki flashed him a warning look.

"It's fine," he said, rolling his eyes. "I wouldn't want you to spend any more money on us, than you have to," Tamaki shook his head.

"Don't be rude!" he muttered under his breath. "You know she doesn't _have_ to spend _any_ money on us!"

"I-I mean…" Kaoru started. He sighed, his voice turning monotonic; "No, thank you, I'm fine with my coffee like this. Please don't trouble yourself over me, because I'm not the most important person in this household," Tamaki nodded. "_Happy now?_" Kaoru hissed.

"Reasonably," Tamaki shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee. "I'd be better off if there's chairs weren't so uncomfortable," The twins exchanged looks. Hikaru sunk down in his chair, pulling back his leg and kicking out at Tamaki. His foot caught the leg of his chair, sending him toppling back onto the floor. His coffee went flying, the scalding contents falling all over him.

I turned my head as I heard him slamming into the floorboards, and did a double take.

"Look who's being rude, now," the twins said under their breath.

"Senapi, for God's sake!" I cried, hurrying over to him. He stared up at me through wide eyes. "You're so damn stupid, sometimes. What the hell were you even doing?" He didn't say anything, seeming to be stuck in a catatonic state. I sighed, rolling my eyes as I helped him to his feet. His shirt and front of his trousers were stained with coffee, his skin burned slightly red with the scalding drink. "Well, I'm not cleaning you up, if _that's_ were you got it," The twins tried to suppress their laughter.

I walked away to the bathroom, and reappeared with a towel. I threw it at him, and he feebly raised his arms to catch it.

"Just go get yourself cleaned up," I said, pointing for the doorway. He nodded quickly, hurrying past me through the door. There was silence in the room for a while, save for the muffled laughter of the twins, and the sound of the tap running next door. I could hear him muttering angrily to himself, and a name didn't escape my notice.

"Hikaru…" I said dully, raising my eyebrows. He stopped sniggering, and sat up a little straighter. He smiled at me archly. "You had something to do with this, didn't you?" He shrugged.

"Well, he was being a git," he mumbled, "He insulted your chairs,"

"My chairs?" I laughed, and he nodded. "That's what this is about? The _chairs_?" I fell back into the counter, simply laughing. The twins exchanged looks, and shrugged. Honey giggled, Mori and Kyoya remaining silent. Kyoya was staring uninterestedly out the window. "God, you guys can be such kids, sometimes. Do you think I _care_ if he doesn't like my chairs?" Hikaru opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. "I'd just as soon be dating one of you guys, before I cared about anything he said to me,"

"So I'm guessing you're never gonna care, are you?" Hikaru asked quietly. I laughed again.

"Of course not," I replied, turning to pick up the box of confectionary behind me. "You guys are like the brothers I never had. I couldn't ever imagine going out with you," I laughed a little more as I turned around, starting towards the table. I set the box down on the table before them. I pulled off the lid, and the smile vanished from my face.

"Do you like it?" Honey cried, jumping to his feet and skipping round to me. I didn't say anything. "There's chocolate," He pointed to a large slab of creamy brown sweet. "And vanilla," Two pale yellow slices of cake, with a buttery filling. There was a thin layer of chocolate flakes on top of the icing. "And lots of strawberry!" Four, slightly smaller, round cupcakes with spiralling white icing. There were five bright red strawberries decorating each, ripe and juicy. Honey turned his cherub's head up to look at me, beaming. "You can have first pick,"

"Oh, wow…" I said quietly, looking at all of them. "R-really? You don't mind?" He shook his head quickly, his little blonde curls bouncing around his cherub face. "Then I guess I'll have…" My finger twirled around above the box. "…strawberry,"

"Strawberry," Honey repeated, and I nodded. He picked up the largest one, with the reddest strawberries, and handed it to me. I saw that the icing was decorated with edible glitter, sparkling under the light above my head.

"Thank you, Honey," I said, holding the cake in one hand and using to other to pull him into a one-armed hug, kissing his cheek. "You're so sweet," He giggled, hugging me back. I straightened up and sat down, gazing fixedly at the cake in my hand. I had never seen something so big, so tasty, something so rich…for me.

"Can I have a strawberry too?" the twins asked.

"Of course," Honey said, handing them one each. Honey contented himself when Mori held out the chocolate to him. He and Kyoya took the vanilla. I took one of the strawberries from the icing, a little dab of white sticking to it. I put it to my mouth, a little bit of the icing catching on my lip as I put it inside. I closed my eyes, savouring the taste; sweet, juicy and sugary. I wriggled a little in my seat, sighing contentedly.

"Hey, Haruhi?" Hikaru said. I opened my eyes, looking at him. He was holding out his hand, all five of his strawberries in his palm. "You like these more than me, right?"

"No, no, you can have them," I said quickly, "Really, you don't have to give them to me," He shrugged.

"Maybe I want to," he said, "You've been so nice to me today, just thought that maybe you'd want something in return," I smiled weakly, feeling my cheeks flushing a little pink. I took the little strawberries from his hand, feeling the warmth of his fingers against the coolness of the fruit.

"Thank you," I said quietly, pulling my hand back. "That's really sweet of you, Hikaru," He shrugged, pulling his hand back as well. I looked down at my hand, feeling my fingers shaking a little bit.

"Oh, and Haruhi?" he said.

"Yes?" I said, a little too quickly, looking back up. He laughed, tapping a finger to his lips.

"You got a little something there," he said. I licked the side of my mouth, catching the taste of the sugary icing.

"Ha ha, thanks," I replied. "At least it wasn't you who got rid of it this time," He winked, and I returned him a smile. I put one of the strawberries inside my mouth. His eyes flicked from me to his cake, a smile twitching at the corner of his lips. "Come to think of it, where _is _Renge?"

"Well, she was going to come with us to see you," Kyoya said. "But on the way she saw a large shopping mall, one of the shops of which having a sale on cosplays and party supplies, and she simply couldn't resist," I smiled. It sounded like Renge, alright.

The next few minutes passed in silence. Well…it would have been silent if it weren't for the satisfied sounds of six teenagers eating their way through six delicious cakes. Honey, as was expected, finished first. He sat back contentedly in his chair, little chocolate stains around his mouth, his small pink tongue sticking out slightly. He yawned sleepily, a good piece of food and a large mug of milk taking their effect on him.

"Oooh…" he cooed, stretching a little. "That was tasty…" He rubbed his big brown eyes sleepily, smiling happily. I popped the final strawberry into my mouth, pushing my chair back from the table. I sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "It was perfect for me to work up an appetite," I froze, looking slowly down at Honey. "What's for lunch?"

"_Lunch_, Honey?" I asked, incredulous. He nodded. "Are you serious? Those things were huge! How can _possibly _be hungry, now?"

"Well, we have those things all the time for snacks at home," Kaoru said, and my gaze flicked to him. "For us, that was almost nothing,"

"Almost nothing?" I repeated. Hikaru flashed him a warning look, his eyes blazing. "Jeez, you don't have to rub your money in my face," I got up moodily from the table, turning towards the kitchen area of the room. Hikaru stamped on his brother's foot. "Fine, I'll just get something quick,"

I heard a chair scrape back behind me, and turned to see Hikaru on his feet.

"It's okay, Haruhi," he said quickly. "Really. You don't have to make us anything. Kyoya?" The bespectacled boy looked up. "How about you just call the local pizza place, and get something delivered?" Kyoya nodded, whipping out his phone from a pocket. Before I had even opened my mouth he was typing away. "We'll pay, don't worry,"

"Thanks, but no thanks," I said quickly, raising my hands. "If you guys pay for me I'm going to be in even more debt to you guys, I know it. I'll regret it later, you'll see,"

"Oh, don't worry Haruhi," Kyoya said coolly, putting the device to his ear. "We'll just pay for it using the profits from those photos of you we auctioned," There was a wry smile on his face.

"So I'm really paying for it, after all," I muttered.

"I'd really love it if you made something for us, Haru-chan," Honey called, and I looked at him. I saw that he was standing in front of Hikaru, swaying his shoulders like an idle child. He was smiling shyly up at me, his big brown eyes looking into mine. "I don't want anything made by someone else. I just want something that you made, because you're amazing," I couldn't help but melt a little inside. He was just so cute…

"No, Honey!" Hikaru hissed, dropping to his knees and holding Honey by the shoulders. "Don't ask too much of her, or she might get upset," I didn't hear him.

"I guess I could whip something up," I shrugged, "Um…are you okay with pasta, or something?" Honey nodded. "I'll make some sauce for it then, but I think I might need to go to the store again…"

"We're coming too," the twins said, Kaoru rising to his feet beside his brother.

"Me too, me too!" Honey cried, jumping up and down in excitement.

"If Mitskuni's going," Mori said. Kyoya rose from his chair as well, snapping the lid back down on his phone.

"This could be an interesting learning experience," he said, tucking the phone back in his pocket. "Going to a commoner's supermarket," I stared at them all, quite simply staring. My eye was twitching slightly.

"Fine…" I muttered after a long moment's thought. "Let me just get my purse…" They all cheered, except for Mori – because he just didn't cheer, ever – and I turned away to go to my room and find my purse. The twins and Honey all but ran from the apartment, and out into the corridor, followed by Mori and Kyoya. "I guess this is it," I mumbled to myself as I pushed open the door, "I'm really not going to get any peace and quiet," I took a few steps into my room, before I stopped short. Tamaki was sitting on the edge of my bed, looking down sadly at an old photo in his hands. "Senpai?" I called, and he looked up. "Why are you in here? And how come you didn't come out earlier? Besides, I would've thought you'd want to come out with the rest of us,"

"I am," he said softly, getting to his feet. "I-I just wanted to…to pay my respects to your mother, before we left,"

"Oh…thank you," I said. I walked over to him, taking the photo from his hands.

"You take after her, I see," he commented, looking from the photo to my face. She was smiling, holding a baby girl in her arms. Flowers were in full bloom around her, as the two of them sat together on a bench in the park. Queen Anne's Lace.

"Yeah…" I said quietly, stroking a hand down the frame. "At least…that's what my dad always tells me,"

"She was a beautiful woman," he said, looking down at the floor. "I'll bet she was a smart one, too,"

"I'm not a very good judge on beauty," I replied, gently setting the photo down on my bedside table. "But she was really smart. She was a lawyer,"

"Oh, yeah?" he asked, turning to look at me. He was smiling weakly. "I'm sure she was a great lawyer; I can tell,"

"She was…" I whispered, sinking slowly down onto the bed, my eyes transfixed by the photograph. I felt the corner of my mouth twitch in a smile, as I remembered. "My mom…every day she tried her best, every day she told me she was going to win…and nearly every time she did," I felt the colour slowly rising in my cheeks, a weak tremble on my chin. "She told me she was going to win…for me…" I sniffed, wiping my eyes before the tears had a chance to fall. "For me to be a Host, to be enrolled at Ouran, well…" I looked up at Tamaki, to see him looking bad sadly. "…I guess it's what she would have wanted,"

There was silence between us for a while.

"Maybe we should get going," Tamaki said quietly, "The others will probably be waiting for us," I nodded silently, walking past him for the door. He made to follow me, but then his foot slid on something on the floor; my purse. He tripped forwards, knocking into me and sending both of us falling to the ground. The momentum of the fall pushed us back, out the door and into the main body of the apartment. I groaned in pain as my head hit the floorboards, my arms and legs splayed out at odd angles.

Tamaki was sprawled on top of me, his face inches from my own. We stared at each other, our eyes wide with shock. His gaze flicked up and down my face, as if trying to figure out what had happened, and why he was so suddenly on top of me, pinning me to the floor. My face flushed red, but it was nothing to his. After only a few seconds his cheeks resembled turnips.

"God, I'm so sorry!" he said quickly, "Are you okay, Haruhi?"

"I…I'm fine," I replied, my voice cracking slightly at the awkwardness of the situation. "You're just…kinda heavy,"

Then came a noise that made the two of us freeze, like a rabbit caught in the headlights; the sound of a key twisting in the lock. We both turned our heads to see the door opening.

"I'm home, Haruhiiii!" my dad called, running a hand through his long red hair and flicking it over his shoulder. He stretched, throwing his handbag over to the counter and unzipping his high heeled boots. "I just saw some positively delightful boys downstairs. Have you had some friends ove—" Then he caught sight of us, Tamaki crouching on top of me, my body pressed against the floor beneath him. He stared at us, his eyes wide, rimmed with heavy mascara and coloured powder.

"Welcome home, dad," I said weakly. "H-how was work?" Dad's eye twitched. Tamaki was shaking slightly, staring open-mouthed and wide-eyed at the man in the doorway. Despite his horrified silence, I could tell that in his head Tamaki Suoh was screaming.

…. ….

And so Mr. Fujioka came home, from his shift at the tranny bar, to see his daughter being forcefully pinned down – or so it appeared – by some strange boy. Tamaki instantly understood the situation, but was too shocked and afraid to move.

'Just stay calm!' he thought frantically, 'I-It was an accident! I'm sure she—_HE_'ll understand if you just explain what happened,' The situation was made all the more embarrassing and confusing for Tamaki by the fact that my father was dressed in a skirt and blouse, with high heeled boots and long hair; a transvestite was something he had never seen before.

Dad walked slowly into the room, his hands cupping the small of his back so his stuffed chest was tilted outward. He walked over to us, and knelt down, his face seeming almost calm. Tamaki laughed nervously, trying to maintain composure. Dad hooked his arm around Tamaki and threw him off me, sending him flying a few feet back into my room. I sat up, sucking the air through my teeth as I heard Tamaki's head collide with the floorboards. It was pretty loud. It sounded extremely painful.

"Dad, it wasn't what it looked like," I said quickly, grabbing him by the arms and looking firmly into his face. He shook his head, getting to his feet. He motioned for Tamaki to come over, and he got gingerly to his feet, holding the back of his head. He stepped over me in the doorway, standing almost guiltily before us. Dad took hold of him, and pinned him back against the wall.

"Who are you, and what were you just doing to my little girl!?" he cried, glowering at Tamaki.

"T-Tam…aki S-S-Suoh, sir," Tamaki stuttered, looking fearfully back into dad's face. The door opened again, and two faces appeared.

"Hey, boss?" the twins called, and I looked round. "What's taking so long?" They saw dad and Tamaki together, and me on the ground. They exchanged looks. "I knew it. He's finally raped her, hasn't he?" I rolled my eyes, getting to my feet and starting towards them.

"So that 'woman' we passed downstairs is your dad, huh?" Hikaru asked. I nodded, beckoning them inside. Tamaki caught sight of them.

"Hikaru!" he cried, "Kaoru! Help me out, here!" The twins walked past me, and stopped before dad. They extended their hands.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Fujioka," they said, perfectly ignoring Tamaki. "We're friends of Haruhi's, the Hitatchin brothers," They flashed grins at Tamaki. "You finally made the moves on Haruhi, huh, boss?" He glowered at them, but they turned back to dad.

"Sorry about him," Hikaru said, "He's a bit of a ladies' man, if you know what I mean,"

"Yeah, he's a pheromone machine," Kaoru said. "In fact, I'll bet he's fooled around with more girls you can count,"

"He likes to fool around with girls, does he?" dad asked, his grip tightening on Tamaki.

"No!" he cried, breaking free from dad and hurrying over to me. He took hold of my arm, and held me tightly. "I'm not a ladies' man, at all!" … But you _are_; you're kiiiinda the one who started the Host Club… "I don't want to do that sort of thing to you daughter! Honestly, I don't!" The twins were watching him with surprise. "I don't want to hurt her; I'd _never_ want to hurt her! I just care too much about her!"

The same thought flashed across the twins' minds; is he confessing his love? Hikaru's jaw and fists were clenched, for a reason he didn't completely understand.

Tamaki took a deep breath and stepped up to meet my father, eye to eye, his grip tightening slightly on my arm. I was silent, his words just sinking in. Why should he care about me so much? And saying that he's never want to hurt me…?

"Look, I'm being completely honest, here," he said calmly, "I care about Haruhi…like she's my own daughter," Oh God, not this again. He could have made it with my dad, but now there was an entirely different alternative; my dad thought that Tamaki was an idiot, and I knew it. Probably thought he was clinically insane, too.

"I think I get it now," he said at last, "You're the Host Club I've heard so much about," The twins nodded, smiling. "Oh, so that means the rest of you are downstairs, aren't you?" More nodding. "Dear me, it would be so rude of me not to meet the others, wouldn't it?" I was surprised that his attitude had changed so fast, but I guessed it was easier than continuing the rage; he had established that Tamaki was an idiot, so simply ignoring him seemed like the best option. It wasn't long before the other three had re-joined us as well, and we were soon all seated around the table. I say all, but actually Tamaki was crouched in the corner with his back facing us and staring fixedly at the wire-socket connecting the television to the wall.

Dad had treated us all to hot chocolate – excluding Tamaki – and he was leaning over the table with his hand resting against his cheek.

"Oh, you really are a fine set of boys," he smiled, letting out an extremely well-practiced giggle. "I honestly don't know which one of you I'd take!" He laughed again, not noticing the twins exchange slightly uncomfortable looks and raise their eyebrows. I awkwardly mussed up the back of my hair, averting my gaze and shieling my eyes with a hand. I knew this was normal behaviour for dad, but did he really have to hit on my friends? "Ooh, which would you choose, Haruhi dear?" I looked up quickly, looking distractedly at them all.

"I'm sure she'd choose us, Mr. Fujioka," the tins grinned. I hung my head in a mortified way, swiftly kicking both of them under the table. My kick escaped dad's notice, and he giggled again.

"You can all call me Ranka," he said, "Ranka is the professional name I use where I work,"

"Professional name?" Honey set down his now empty mug of hot chocolate, and cocked his head to one side like a little blonde puppy. "You mean like a stage name?"

"That's right, little Mitskuni," dad smiled adoringly.

"Huh? How do you know my name?"

Dad's smile widened.

"Well, you are the third years Haninozuka-kun and Takashi Morinozuka-kun," he continued, and Honey beamed. Mori's mouth twitched in a smile. "You two are Haruhi's close friends and classmates, the first years Hikaru and Kaoru, right?" The twins shot furtive looks at me, and nodded. Dad laughed. "Which is which, huh? I wonder… Oh, I'm always hearing stories about you," He smiled.

"Is that so?" They looked at me. I didn't say anything.

"From what I've heard you two are quite the little troublemakers," Dad giggled, waggling his finger in mock disapproval.

"Haruhi talks about us?" Hikaru asked, fixing me with a slight frown.

"Well, yeah," I said, returning his gaze. "I talk about you occasionally, but not all the time,"

"Oh, that pleasure is taken by your delightful Kyoya-kun," dad beamed, and Kyoya smiled. Everyone turned their heads to stare at him, even Tamaki had snapped upright to look.

"You know, Ranka-sama," Kyoya said, "I've only ever spoken to you on the phone, but in real life you're actually quite beautiful," Dad giggled, and Tamaki got to his feet.

"Kyoya…" he hissed.

"We're looking after his precious daughter," Kyoya shrugged, smiling coolly. "It's only natural I'd at least say hello, and then we got to know one another, until I began to give periodic reports on her," Periodic reports? It sounded like he was cataloguing me as an experiment. He raised his mug and took a sip, before shooting a look at Tamaki over his shoulder. "Ordinarily, that should be _your_ job right?"

"My, you really are a fine president!" dad cried, beaming affectionately at Kyoya. Tamaki sank back to the ground, curling up in a ball. "Oh, but Kyoya-kun, you're the vice-president, aren't you? How rude of me! But it seems your _president_—" He looked at Tamaki on the floor in front of the sofa, "—isn't good for very much, huh?"

"Now, just wait a minute, dad!" I cried, standing up and banging my hands on the table. Everyone jumped. "Why did I not know that you and Kyoya-senpai were keeping contact!?"

"But, Haruhi, you never tell me anything about school," dad said sheepishly, "Unless you're talking about these two, I don't hear a thing!" He motioned at the twins, who exchanged confused looks before turning to me.

"S-s-so, then—" I fumbled for words, trying to ignore the twins watching me, "Without telling me, you—"

"Haruhi," dad said in a low voice, and I fell silent, "The thing about you is…" I felt suddenly guilty, sinking into my chair. Dad got up, and came to stand beside me. I looked up at him. "You're cute even when you're angry!" He clasped his arms around me, rocking me from side to side. I sighed, rolling my eyes and staring fixedly ahead. The twins were still looking at me.

"There's something about this guy that reminds me an awful lot of someone," Kaoru said, turning to look at Tamaki. "I suppose it explains why Haruhi is so good at handling his highness," He grinned. Hikaru didn't reply. "Huh? Hikaru?"

"How much d'you suppose she talks about us?" was the reply, in a very low voice.

"Huh?"

"I just wanna know…" Hikaru sighed, bowing his head ad looking at the hands twisting in his lap. "What does she say about us when we're not around?" Kaoru opened his mouth slightly, but then closed it again, watching his brother intently. I sighed again, and got to my feet at the same time as peeling dad's arms from me. I walked to my room and snatched my purse from the floor, before turning to leave. Dad watched me until I was at the door, at which time he cried out,

"Wh-where are you going?"

"The supermarket," I said, pulling open the door. "I'm going shopping for some things I forgot last time," I shot a look over at the twins. "_By myself_. I'll be right back, so everyone, don't do anything stupid. And senpai," I directed my last words to Tamaki, who cocked his head slightly to look at me. "Get off the floor, already, you're making a mess of the carpet," I turned to leave.

"No, Haruhi!" the twins cried, "We want to go to the commoners' supermarket, too!" I closed the door resolutely behind me.

"That's okay, that's okay," dad said, "Once she's made up her mind she won't listen to you," The Hosts looked at him, listening. "That girl made up her mind to go to Ouran, and did all the enrolment paperwork by herself. I'd like to respect her spirit of independence, but sometimes, I just wish she'd depend on me more,"

"How do you mean, Ranka-sama?" Kyoya asked interestedly. Dad sighed, looking at him.

"Well…" He paused. "Eight years ago, I found out that it was Parents' Day at school, but my little Haruhi hadn't told me a word about it. She told me I couldn't come, before simply walking out of the apartment and going to school all by herself. I didn't know if she was going through a rebellious phase or not, but I simply couldn't let it go," He sighed, running a hand through his long hair. "My colleagues at work – at the liquor store – told me it was because she was ashamed I was, well, a transvestite, but my Haruhi was such an accepting girl, even then that I knew it couldn't be that. But still, that night I drank myself stupid, and I had to be carried home. When I came in all I could do was sing and cry, before Haruhi – at the young age she was – put me to bed all by herself.

"The man who had helped me home explained to her that I was upset she didn't invite me, and that next time she should bring me along. But she said no,"

"Why?" the twins asked.

"She sat by me as I lay in bed, stroking my hair and almost crying," he continued. "She told me she'd far rather let me have the time off at home, than come to Parents' Day. She'd noticed how exhausted I had become, and that I needed to just stay home and sleep. My sweet little Haruhi wanted me to take care of myself…" Dad sighed, bowing his head for a moment before raising it again and smiling. "I'm very grateful to you guys," He looked at them all. "She seems so much happier, and actually enjoying herself at school now, in her own way. Isn't that right…Suoh-kun?" Tamaki sat bolt upright, turning and staring at him.

"You're speaking to me!?" he cried, seemingly overjoyed. "And do you know me too, Ranka-sama?"

"Well, of course," dad replied, sipping his drink. "How could I not? You're the bumbling idiot of a president who Haruhi speaks of so often," Tamaki's face dropped. "Come to think of it, you're the one who mistook Haruhi for a boy right up to the end, aren't you?" No reply. "Honestly. You can't even tell a man from a woman; how pitiful for a Host. You must be awful," The twins grinned. "Now, then!" Dad returned to his brighter tone of voice. "Let's never mind that. Why don't we all have ourselves some fun?"

…. ….

I was walking down the street, thinking. I couldn't believe I never knew. Who'd have thought that dad and Kyoya were in touch with one another? I knew that Kyoya was a scheming devil who seemed to plot everything right from the very start, but still. I never expected him to do this. I didn't notice as dad and the boys followed me down the street. Dad was holding a scarf over the lower half of his face, his eyes shielded with sunglasses. The twins hid behind a telephone pole, and Honey crouched low as if to avoid detection – espionage, if one was to remember back to the physical exams. The others just walked normally.

"So we ended up going with her after all, huh?" the twins said, peering out from either side of the pole to see me walking away.

"This is what you meant by 'fun'?" Kyoya asked.

"This is tailing-play, Kyoya-kun," dad said mysteriously, watching a small group girls who were walking up the street nearby. One of them stopped at looked at the Hosts, before turning to her friends.

"Those are some good-looking boys, aren't they?" she giggled.

"Oh my God, I swear I've seen that one in the glasses before!"

"I know! It's totally Ichijo Miyabi!"

"Oh, for goodness' sakes…" Kyoya sighed, mussing up his hair in annoyance.

"I just wanted to go walking around town with lots of fine boys in tow," dad admitted, with a small giggle.

"I knew it," Kaoru said to Hikaru, "I just knew he and his highness were cut from the same cloth," But Hikaru wasn't really listening, but instead watching me as I walked away.

"She looks so cute in a dress…" he heard him breath.

"Huh? Hikaru what are you looking at?"

"Nothing!"

Kaoru fixed him with a quizzical stare, raising one eyebrow.

"You were totally just checking her out," he said. Hikaru's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped slightly open.

"What the hell!? No I wasn't!" he cried. Kaoru raised his eyebrow still further. "Shut up, Kaoru, I wasn't,"

"Okay," Kaoru replied, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Jeez, don't take your frustrations out on me,"

It was only about ten minutes before I reached the supermarket, and less than thirty seconds later I was being tailed between the aisles by a group of boys. I didn't really notice though, quietly humming to myself as I swung my basket gently from my hand. I paused every now and then to check some produce, either placing it back on its shelf or in my basket. After a short while I bumped into an old friend of mine form school, and we had a quick chat in the fruits aisle. I didn't see Hikaru watching me with a melancholy expression through the gap between a pair of apple carts.

"Hikaru, you're being really weird today," Kaoru said, taking his brother's sleeve and pulling him away. Hikaru seemed almost reluctant to be moved, but complied anyway. "Come on, let's go look at the coffee," Hikaru nodded, turning his head to look back over his shoulder in time to see me walking past the aisle to the next. I heard a rattling of wheels approaching, and paused. I had a split-second with which to see a small boy in a trolley being pushed towards me very fast, before I leapt out of the way and the trolley went zooming past and around the corner. I shook my head vigorously, and carefully extricated myself from the shelf I had fallen into. Tamaki peered out from behind the side aisle, and watched me.

"Why do we need to go this far to secretly watch what she's doing, Ranka-sama?" he asked in a quiet voice. Dad looked out as well.

"She lost her mother at an early age," he replied, "And took all of the housework, to say nothing of the shopping, upon herself. I couldn't help but develop a habit of following after her," He looked at Tamaki with a considering gaze, "Would you call that a father's love?" Tamaki thought about this, but dad returned his eyes to me. "I can't not worry about her. I'm the only one who can protect her, after all," He gave a quiet chuckled. "I remember when I first followed her here. She discovered me fairly soon, though. When she asked me what I was doing I didn't know what to say; I had only just started with my transvestite tendencies around that time, but she understood and accepted my choice… such a sweet young girl…"

"So what did you say to her?"

"Oh, ha ha," dad laughed, "I told her I wanted to carry her shopping basket; I just loved accessories, and shopping baskets were my new favourite," Tamaki smiled. "Whether she doesn't know how to rely on others, or if she has no desire to, she doesn't give you the chance to worry over her. And yet, she has a way of saving others without even realising it,"

"Yeah," Tamaki said quietly, looking back to me. "That's really something,"

"You never know, Suoh-kun," dad teased, "My Haruhi might just save you, one day,"

"I think she might have done that, already," he whispered, smiling at my back. Dad's face suddenly turned livid, and he grabbed hold of Tamaki's cheek.

"What are you saying!? What did you do that Haruhi to make you say that!? You think you can just get off the hook because you're a little bit handsome!?"

"R-Ranka-sama!" Tamaki gritted his teeth together, trying to pull away. "Let go!" He managed to tug free, but was sent reeling back and tripping over his own feet. He fell with a painful thud to the tiled floor, and I turned to see him sprawled behind me.

"Huh?" I set down my basket and bent down to him, "Tamaki-senpai? What happened? What are you doing here?" Tamaki looked up, before snapping bolt upright. He scouted around for something to say, before he saw dad watching him. Tamaki hastily grabbed my basket and got to his feet, beaming – a little nervously.

"I just suddenly had the biggest urge to hold your shopping basket, Haruhi!" he cried in an overly bright manner, and I looked at him with both confusion and alarm. "Ha ha, yes… Dad-daddy loves to carry shopping baskets! They're my favourite accessory, can you believe it?" For a moment I simply stared at him, but then I laughed.

"You're so weird," I said, but I smiled at him all the same. I hooked an arm through his and started pulling him away to the next aisle. Dad watched us walk away together from behind his shelf, eyes slightly wide. 'Even so, if at some point,' he thought, 'the day comes when that selfless girl dearly wants to have just one person at her side…sure enough, it galls me just thinking about it! But make note of this, Tamaki Suoh – I don't care what figure you may be in her life, whether she saves you or no…there is no way the two of you may end up together!'


	11. Big Brother is a Prince!

****Kirimi annoys me just as much as Shiro, so this chapter gave me very little satisfaction. It also freaks me out how ****_only _****shoujo-manga would appease her once the stories were all finished. I mean, I have no shame in admitting that I had to research what a reverse-harem/debauchery was, so…this kid seriously needs to get a more innocent hobby. I simply cannot fathom why Nekozawa wants her back so much…**

Big Brother is a Prince!

Tiny footsteps skipped through the gardens of Ouran Academy, carrying the small golden-haired girl through the brightly blooming flowers as she sang in a high-pitched, tuneless sort of way. She was smiling as she went along across the seas of green grass, her big blue eyes sparkling as they fixed ahead of her at the large building. All of a sudden she stopped, somehow aware of a muffled rustling amid the bushes of flowers close-by. She peered around a little fearfully, before the strange noise stopped. She calmed herself and set off skipping again, her pigtails flowing behind her like liquid gold.

"There might be a big, nasty monster out here," she giggled to herself, not noticing the flick of a bushy white tail behind her, as a very fat cat sauntered its way from the bushes. "I better hurry up, and try to find my big brother," She beamed within herself, casting her thoughts to the large portrait in that strangely darkened hallway; that handsome face that always smiled down at her with those harmless, yet peculiarly melancholy cerulean eyes. She resumed her little tuned again, and the cat yawned widely in its spot by the bushes before bending its head to lap a leathery red tongue across its fur. The little girl sang, still in that way that carried no knowledgeable tune, "My big brother is a strong, handsome prince! He's defeat that monster for me! For meeeeeeee! And we'll haaaaave cakes and sweets and choc-o-late and strawberries and..."

She continued to sing as she approached the academy, skipping all the way. By the time she had entered the building the cat had moved on, padding lazily across the grounds and flicking that bushy white tail of his with every step he took. The little girl made her way through the academy, attracting queer looks and whisperings from every student she passed. She blushed very time she connected eyes with someone, so by the time she reached the third floor corridor and rounded the staircase she was positively maroon. She saw the doors at the far end of the corridor slightly ajar, and heard laughter and boy's voices from inside. Her little mouth fell slightly open, her big blue eyes wider than might have seemed normal. She stepped slowly closer, her hands balled into tight fists which clutched nervously at the hem of her pleated skirts. When she reached the door she heard muffled shushing and the quiet rumble of many footsteps. The girl frowned, before mustering her courage and pushing one of the doors open. She barely had time to take stock of her surroundings before a tall, handsome blonde boy with eyes bluer than the skies extended his arm and threw a large handful of petals into the air.

"Welcome!" seven voices called, and the little girl had to blink a few times before her brain began to function again. The handsome blonde boy was stood in the middle, dressed in a white naval uniform with golden shoulder-pads, flanked on either side by the six other boys; each wearing a different kind of police uniform. She didn't seem to care about them, however, her already large eyes widening as she looked at the boy in white. He looked at her for a moment and smiled, sinking to his knees and cocking his curly-haired head a little to the side.

"Oh, my," he said in a gentle voice, "What an unusually cute, young guest we have here," When the girl didn't say anything he laughed softly, before extending a white-gloved hand. "Well, I'm glad you're here, my little lost kitty-cat," She continued to stare at him, mouth hanging open in awe. The boy stood up and took a few strides towards her, before leaning over her with hands on his hips. He smiled kindly. "Little kitty-cat, why have you come to see us today?" Her already pink face flushed darker as a blush crept across her plump cheeks. She finally looked down from him, instead peering out from behind him and surveying the rest of us. Then she raised a pudgy hand and pointed.

"It's a reverse-harem!" she cried, in a voice so high it challenged even Honey's. At the words 'reverse-harem' every one of us stiffened and stared at her in shock. "This is a reverse-harem!" There was an incredibly bewildered silence. Tamaki laughed nervously, and began kocking the side of his head with his palm.

"Ha ha, tha-that can't be right," he said, more to himself than anyone present. "I-I-I must've heard wrong; maybe there's still some water left in my ear from that swim class I had earlier,"

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha," Hikaru also laughed, shooting furtive and worried looks in the direction of the little girl, who's finger was still raised. "Water in the ear, that's gotta be it!"

"Yeah, that's totally what's going on!" Kaoru said, "Even though we didn't go swimming today, that must be it, right? We must've just heard her wrong; there's no way this cute little girl could know the words reverse-harem, is there?"

"Something's going on with our ears," Hikaru continued, willing his words to be true. The little girl raised her hand to her head, pointing upwards as if she had had an idea.

"There's debauchery here," she said, which caused another wave of astonishment. She beamed, clapping her hands with excitement. "Yay! There's debauchery here, isn't there?" She giggled as she directed her finger to Kyoya, whose dark grey eyes widened. "You're the glasses character," She turned to Honey and Mori, "You're the boy Lolita, and the stoic type," She looked at the rest of us, and the twins exchanged worried looks as she turned her finger on them. "Twincest!" Then she directed herself to me, beaming inoffensively. "And the bookworm!" Bookworm? _Bookworm!? _My mouth dropped slightly open, and we all stared at the little girl. She looked at Tamaki, who instantly cringed, awaiting his fate to become labelled as a character of debauchery. Seeing his eyes so widened, so surprised and innocent, and that weak curve of his lip made her falter. Her jaw trembled slightly as her face blushed darker. "Big brother…" she whispered.

"What did you just call me?" he breathed, frowning at her and bending to his knees.

"You're my big brother, aren't you!" the girl cried, leaping forwards and throwing her arms around his neck. He was so surprised that, even with her weight being insignificant compared to his own, he toppled over backwards with the girl plastered onto his chest. "I just know it! You're my big brother!" The Hosts stared at him, eyes wide, but it was nothing compared to the bewilderment to baffle Tamaki's features.

"You never told us about this!" the twins said, outraged. "Since when do you have a little sister, Boss!?"

"I-I don't!" Tamaki replied in a flustered voice, struggling between prising the little girl off him and wanting to hug her for her innocence. "I'm definitely an only child, since my mother is the only one who's blonde in my entire lineage! I've never had a brother or sister in my life; a-at least as far as I know!" Honey came to stand beside the two on the floor, looking curiously between the two of them.

"Y'know, the more I look at you the more I can see you _do_ look a lot alike," he smiled, "You're both blonde and you have such pretty blue eyes," Tamaki shot him a look upwards as if to say; _I'd realised that much for myself, Honey-senpai!_ Kyoya and I stood side by side as we watched this strange occurrence, he considering matters as he always did, I still fuming about being called bookworm.

"I'm just wondering if the 'glasses character' is superior to 'big brother'," he said. Ppfft. You and your never-ending quest for power, Kyoya.

"Does that really matter?" I said icily, "I still can't get over how that little kid just called me bookworm,"

"Well, aren't you?" he said. I stood on his foot.

"Shut it, Kyoya-senpai,"

Tamaki had finally managed to sit up, gently pulling the little girl away from him so that he held her at arm's length; she still struggled to try and reach him.

"Umm, e-excuse me," he said timidly, "You…want to tell me your name, little one?"

"Kirimi," she giggled, and tried to hug him again. Tamaki laughed uncertainly and tentatively allowed her to hug him, which resulted in him instantly being knocked loose for breath.

"O-okay, Kirimi-chan," he said, pulling her off him again and setting her down on the ground to crouch before her. She looked at him expectantly, and he smiled awkwardly. "I-I think you've made a mistake," She frowned. "I'm really sorry, but…I-I haven't got a younger sister," Her blue eyes widened before her brows and lip trembled, and her face flushed red as tears slipped down her cheeks. Tamaki's face instantly fell.

"A-are you sure?" Kirimi whimpered, putting a balled hand to her mouth. "Y-you're blonde, just like me!" Tamaki's face burned red for all the eyes upon him and the pressure of the little girl crying before him, and he felt a small bead of sweat down his forehead.

"Well, tha-that I true," he admitted, before reaching for her and picking her up by the arms. "I give in!" he cried, leaping to his fee and twirling her round and round. "As of this moment I am your new big brother!" Kirimi squealed with glee, her long blonde pigtails flying round in tight circles about her head as Tamaki span her round in a hug. "You're so cute!" I rolled my eyes as I watched.

"I know you often get carried away by emotion, senpai," I said flatly, "But don't you think it's a little irresponsible to make such empty promises?" Kyoya laughed quietly and I turned away from Tamaki to look at him. The two of us went to walk away, both glad of the other's sensible company.

"Don't you listen to that mean Haruhi!" Tamaki cooed, tickling Kirimi now as he held her small frame in his arms. "I'm not irresponsi—whoah!" He almost dropped Kirimi as she wriggled with giggling laughter, and the twins raised their eyebrows as he hastily tried to recover.

"Yeah," they said, "Because dropping a five-year-old kid is _totally_ proof of your responsibility," Tamaki shrugged their words away, but when he began to play with Kirimi again it was with renewed care.

"Yes! I promise, Kirimi-chan, that you can come home with me and I will look after you!"

"So what do you think we should do, Kyoya-senpai?" I asked, sitting at a sofa close-by with Kyoya beside me. He lightly stroked his straight chin in thought, watching Tamaki's effervescent display of affection to the child he had only just met.

"Well," he said, "First we should probably find out if she really has an older brother at Ouran Academy," Tamaki heard him and immediately stopped, both he and Kirimi staring at Kyoya through wide blue eyes. Tamaki hastily set Kirimi down on the ground and bent over her in a protective manner.

"She does have a brother!" he insisted, "And that brother is right h—" The lights suddenly went out, without any explanation, and Kirimi instantly flung herself around Tamaki.

"Kirimi!" a thin, warbling voice called from the doorway. Each of us turned in the darkness to where the sound emanated from. Three small lights danced atop a tri-pronged candlestick, which was held by the pale-skinned hand which seemed to hover in the slightly open doorway. "_Kirimi_!" There was silence for a moment, before a head peered through the gap. His face was thin, one of his pale blue eyes covered by a long fringe of sleek whitish-blonde hair. His nose was long and very lightly freckled, and his thin lips were curved in a very slight smile. He looked rather sweet and innocent, despite the strange candlelight which illuminated his complexion. And, though I daren't do any more than think it, I though him rather more handsome than Tamaki ever was. His pale gaze flicked across the room and its inhabitants, lingering for a moment upon me. I felt the colour rise slightly in my cheeks.

The strange boy began walking into the silent room, and the lights began to fade back on. As they did so he flinched ever so slightly, until footsteps approached the doorway.

"Master," It was a strange voice, one that nobody had heard before. A thin, fairly young woman dressed as a maid of very dark colours walked into the room after the boy, clutching something bulky and black in her pale hands. "You forgot your cloak," She grasped the boy, Umehito, by the shoulder and threw the supposed cloak about his person. His arms flailed beneath i for a moment, much like a large black ghost - Kirimi whimpered and clutched tighter to Tamaki than ever – and the boy's head reappeared; the woman placed a limp black wig over his fine hair, which fell to mask those lovely pale eyes of his. We realised who this 'stranger' was in an instant.

"Nekozawa-senpai!?" we all cried. The woman behind him nodded gravely.

"Master Umehito is terribly vulnerable to any kind of bright light," She raised her head for the first real time, and we saw the tattoo of a small black butterfly directly beneath her left eye, which was large and dark. Her pupils were thinner and longer than seemed normal, almost like slits – like those of a cat's eyes. She put a hand to her chest and sighed deeply. Her grief seemed very real indeed. "For that reason he must shroud himself in black so he may not fall victim to the brightness of the outside world, from which he will undoubtedly collapse! And just to be comfortable he even has to cover his beautiful blonde hair with that wig! Oh!" She sighed again sorrowfully, and Nekozawa seemed to bow his head a little sadly. I noticed that the strange little Belzenef was once again upon his hand. The woman, whom I presumed to be Nekozawa's maid, stepped forwards and gestured to Kirimi – who shrank back into Tamaki's chest. "However, on the other hand, his sister, Mistress Kirimi, is frightened of dark and dimly lit places,"

Tamaki looked down at the girl in his arms and back up again in surprise.

"So this little girl is Nekozawa-senpai's little sister?" I said, getting to my feet and hurrying over to the two on the floor.

"You are quite insightful," the maid said solemnly as she bowed her head, which caused her long straight hair to cascade down her shoulders. "Yes, that would be correct, sir," So just another woman presumed me a man… Tamaki straightened up and let go of Kirimi, although she flung her arms around his legs just the same. Belzenef's two front paws tapped together, and behind the dark hood I could see Nekozawa's – supposedly – comforting and encouraging smile.

"Kirimi," he said, "So this is where you've been hiding?" He chuckled, stepping closer to his baby sister. His shadow loomed over her like a wave about to crash into the sea, and Kirimi turned her head up to stare at him through those wide blue eyes of hers. Nekozawa stopped before her, her tiny frame entirely shadowed by his. Tears erupted in her eyes again, and she threw herself behind Tamaki's legs.

"Brother, save me form the monster!" she cried.

"Oh, please don't be scared," Nekozawa said in his warbling voice, bending to his knees to peer at Kirimi through Tamaki's legs – he looked exceedingly uncomfortable. Having the 'monster' looming before her on the ground seemed to scare little Kirimi even more. "I'd like to introduce you to someone," Nekozawa continued to smile – though it may not have looked like that to his little sister – and he proffered forward the hand housing the pale cat-creature. "This is Belzenef," The twins exchanged queer glances, and Nekozwa looked up. "The Nekozawa family has worshipped cats for generations, you know,"

"I get the feeling she's not scared of the puppet," I said to Kyoya, who had appeared directly beside me; Hikaru turned his head to look at us together, scowling, and I caught his gaze. I looked at him in time to see his head snapping back to look at Nekozawa, his cheeks a little redder than usual. "Call me crazy, but I think it's you," Nekozawa gasped with shock and he turned to me, but I wasn't looking. My attention was still focussed upon Hikaru. I noticed his hands were clenched by his sides. _Even now I don't like it when he's near you!_ It didn't seem like two weeks had passed since he had said those words to me. I still didn't understand his motives to feel this way, even having this estranged anger towards Kaoru. It all felt so recent because I'd lay awake at night and not be able to sleep because I remembered our conversation over and over, recollected his confusion about everything to happen between us, and – the most puzzling thing of all – the fact that he had kissed me…

"It's probably your manky clothes," the twins said, starting forwards and seizing handfuls of black material. "We'll help you change, okay?" They hauled him to his feet and began tugging and pulling and twisting with all of their might, doing nothing but perhaps cause pain to poor Nekozawa as the fabric bent and wrapped and pulled across his delicate skin.

"Guys, stop it!" I hissed, hurrying forwards and pulling them both away. "You're hurting him," I smoothed the many creases the twins had created upon Nekozawa's arms, and the twins stalked away.

"I know!" Honey said brightly, running for the corner where the full curtain was pushed against the wall. "Why don't we just darken the room?" He grabbed hold of the curtain and began racing down by the windows and blacking out all the light to come pouring inside. Kirimi instantly began to cry, waving her fists and bawling at the top of her lungs.

"It's so dark and scary! Big brother save meeee!"

Honey skidded to a halt and immediately began pulling the curtain back the other way to re-illuminate the room. Tamaki picked the still crying Kirimi up in his arms and started bouncing her to try and ease her grief, while making calming noises.

"It's a tragedy that these two siblings are such polar opposites," the maid spoke again, placing a hand upon Nekozawa's shoulder. He was gazing at his crying sister with pain in his light eyes. "As a result they've become known as the Nekozawa family's Romeo and Juliet,"

"But Romeo and Juliet weren't brother and sister," I said, a little confused. "I think their situation was a little different…"

"Oh, I know!" she tittered, in a conversationalist way. "To be honest it's something I just came up with on the fly! Pretty impressive, huh? I thought it might make this story more dramatic!"

"Story?"

"Oh, Mistress Kirimi is all about stories!" she sighed, "Whatever may hold adventure, love or drama and confusion I simply have to think of it as a story to keep her in high spirits. So now I may think of this as a story,"

"Oh…I see," I intoned.

"But, all that aside," she continued, turning to the little girl in Tamaki's arms with a curtsy. "I was sent today by the Master's family to find Mistress Kirimi and return her home safely,"

"So, is the rest of the Nekozawa family—"

"—as out of touch as you?" the twins asked. She seemed to snap, whirling on them, shoulders bristling like a cat readying itself for a fight.

"How dare you say such a terrible thing!" she shouted. Her pupils really were slits now, and when she worked her mouth as she screamed at them I saw some of her teeth were pointed like a cat's. "The Nekozawa's are a distinguished family! They are descendedents from the Tokonov dynasty of Russia!"

"Tokorov, huh?" Kyoya said thoughtfully, and she turned on him. "I have something rather specific in mind when that name sounds," He reached for his belt¸ withdrawing the gun from its socket. Tamaki looked at it and instantly understood.

"Are you sure you don't mean Romanov?" he asked. The dark maid bowed her head, and turned away from them all.

"There's a legend that says once every few hundred years a Nekozawa child is born; a child who is destined to be possessed by the darkness, exactly like our Master Umehito," She closed her eyes, and silence fell for a moment. Then she reopened her eyes. "That legend may or may not be true," She turned to look at Nekozawa and bowed low.

"What do you mean that it may or may not be true?" Honey asked, cocking his little blonde head to the side as he looked at her.

"Is it, or isn't it?" the twins asked without much interest. She straightened up again, and addressed them all when she next spoke.

"Mistress Kirimi fell in love with the fairy-tale prince of an older brother she had seen in portraits within the Nekozawa mansion," She sighed sadly, looking straight into Kirimi's eyes. "However, as a result of his condition, the Master is unable to go near his sister without being shrouded in black," She smiled at Kirimi and walked forwards, extending her arms and taking the small girl from Tamaki. "Once she learned her brother was enrolled in a highschool here she decided to go looking for him. That's what brought her to your Host Club," She looked down at Kirimi for a moment and then up to the rest of us. "We've tried to keep her comforted by bedtime stories about princely characters like her brother, but we ran out of stories…" She trailed off there, before swallowing drily. "…so, a little more recently, we decided to start reading her shoujo-mangas with princely characters in them," My mouth dropped open.

"You _what_!?" I cried.

"And I'm afraid she's become completely addicted," the maid giggled, looking down at Kirimi. Seriously? This little girl, who could be no older than six, has had shoujo-manga – of all things – read to her at night? That just wasn't right! But it at least explained her extensive knowledge of debauchery and reverse-harems…and why she was so excited by it.

"Is there really debauchery in shoujo-manga?" I said in a low voice, addressing myself rather than the others around me. "But…Sashimi-chan is so young," The twins cracked up with laughter, doubling over and cackling like a pair of madmen. I looked at them in confusion. "What? What's so funny?"

"Not 'Sashimi'…" Nekozawa said, and suddenly Belzenef was an inch from my face. "It's Kiiiiiiiiiirimi!" he warbled, Belzenef darting from left to right. I pushed the strange cat puppet down and looked up into Nekozawa's face. He seemed surprised by the gentle look of sadness on my face.

"So…does Kirimi-chan not know you're her real older brother, Nekozawa-senpai?" I said quietly. He opened his mouth to speak, faltered, and closed it again. He bowed his head meekly, and I saw his thin lips trembling slightly beneath the hood. I felt myself soften to see someone like this. And such a horrible predicament; for your own baby sister not to know who you are.

"Alas, she does not," the maid answered for him, "We've tried to convince her countless times but she won't believe us,"

"Oh, that's so sad!" Honey sniffed, wiping his big brown eyes. "No wonder Neko-chan is crying," Crying? I looked again up at the dark boy before me, and saw the faintest reflection of light upon a track of a single tear down his cheek. My sympathy went out to him completely, and I felt the strangest urge to hug him – but I didn't.

"It's painful," he said finally, and everyone looked at him. "Tha-that's why, every night, I offer prayers in the hopes that one day Kirimi will come to embrace…the darkness," He lost some of my sympathy at that.

"I think you've got it backwards, buddy," the twins spoke my mind. Nekozawa turned his hooded head to them.

"You need to try and get accustomed to the light," Hikaru said.

"Just what do you think you're trying to do to your sister?" Kaoru said. Nekozawa bowed his head shamefacedly, shuffling away with Belzenef wriggling feebly upon his hand. The maid watched after him for a moment before looking down at the little girl in her arms.

"Come long, Mistress Kirimi," she said, turning for the door. "It's time to go home," Something seemed to explode from within the infant. She began kicking and screaming, squirming and shouting with such violent force it didn't seem possible from such a small child.

"Nooo! I don't wanna go home with you! I-I wanna stay here with my big brother!" Kirimi wriggled so she was facing Tamaki, and she flung her arms towards him and made desperate grabbing motions. It became too much for the woman holding her, who turned right around and held the bawling Kirimi at arm's length as though she were a particularly venomous – incredibly noisy - spider she didn't want to touch. With a final struggling effort Kirimi dropped into Tamaki's arms and flung her tiny arms and legs around him like a small, screaming blonde monkey. Tamaki looked helplessly down at her, and back up at Nekozawa's stiffen back; he had stopped walking, staring morosely at the floor.

"N-Nekozawa-senpai?" he called, a little uncomfortably.

"Don't worry about me, Suoh," Nekozawa replied in that thin voice of his, though now it seemed thinner and weaker than usual, as if he were about to cry. "All I want…is for my sister to be happy. Make sure—" His voice cracked, and he hung his head still lower as his shoulders heaved a little. "—she—" A strangled sob escaped him. "—g-get's the love she deserves!" Before anyone could speak or move he tore from the room, black cloak billowing behind him like a storm cloud. Nobody made as if to go after or comfort him, and I stared at them all before racing for the door. I slipped through it just before I slammed shut, and I was running after the large black figure before me.

"Wait a minute! Senpai!" I shouted after him, but he didn't stop. I slowed a little to a jog as he turned the banister at the top of the stairs, and cast a look sideways to the railing separating me from the drop and the stairs below. I gave it a split-second's though before I threw caution to the winds and vaulted myself over the banister, falling and landing – far less than gracefully, but nonetheless intact – on the stairs just before Nekozawa's sobbing form. "Senpai!" I took hold of the thin arms shrouded in black and held him there, but he seemed to crumble away inside a broken down shell of darkness and sank to his knees upon the stairs. I bent before him and tried to look up into his face.

"Nekozawa-senpai, it's alright," I said in a gentle voice, but he shook his head sadly. "Hey, don't give up hope on yourself. Or on little Kirimi-chan; sibling relationships can be battles and hardships in a world of their own," Neither of us heard the door reopening on the floor above, nor the quiet footsteps as one of the two red-headed boys walked down the corridor after me. "She's going to come around, just you see. Hey," Nekozawa had turned his head away, but I reached a hand within the shadows of that large black hood and found the smooth curve of his pale cheek. I directed his head towards me and made sure I caught his gaze, shuffling a little closer to him across the step I was perched on. I bit my lip just the tiniest fraction, unaware of Hikaru's head and shoulders peering suspiciously over the banister from the third floor. His olive green eyes narrowed to see the way I looked at Nekozawa, that weirdo with the curses and stupid cloak, with earnest and encouragement. "Kirimi-chan fell in love with the idea of the handsome, princely big brother, didn't she?"

For a moment Nekozawa seemed surprised, but he nodded all the same. I smiled.

"She wants a strong, wonderful prince to come and look after her, right?" I continued, "Save her from all her fears so she can grow braver?" The cloaked boy shrugged, but still those pale eyes – mostly obscured by that mop of black hair – looked at me. I slowly withdrew my hand from the folds of his hood, and held my other in my lap. "Well, truth be told, nobody can be like that all the time. And Tamaki-senpai never has; all the princes in story books aren't like him. The princes I've heard of don't worship themselves or their own beauty, whether they have it or not. And princes don't regale their love lavishly to every girl they come across, do they? As long as I've known him whenever a girl – whatever her age – comes along he can't resist. But _you _aren't like that, Nekozawa-senpai," I smiled at him, tilting my head a little to the side to look at him better. "No, you're a different kind of prince entirely; the kind of prince that Kirimi-chan would _really_ want as her older brother. I think that it doesn't matter about your physical condition or complexion – being unable to feel sunlight, in the way you can't, doesn't have to hold you back at all – because it's about the love, devotion and tenderness you feel towards someone inside that counts," I put a hand on his chest, directly above his heart. I could feel it beating, just a little bit faster than might be normal. The corner of his thin lips curled in a smile. I returned it, retracting my hand again. Hikaru was still watching me in silence. He wondered whether I meant all that I said, that two people could come together because of an act of compassion or piety.

"Because, from everything I've learned from the Host Club, nobody in the world is perfect," I said, "Not one person in the world is, and Tamaki Suoh is not exempt from this. Not a single member of the Host Club is perfect either," I paused, thinking a little. I laughed. "Hikaru least of all. I don't think he'd ever be able to do something with perfect goodness or consideration, even if he tried," From the floor above Hikaru stiffened, bristling with anger. How could I have insulted him like that? His hands balled into angrily clenched fists, and he turned away back to the music room before hearing what I said next, "I think that's why I like him so much…I've always liked people like him, who think nothing much of their actions and take the whole world on their chin. They're the strong type of person, who can laugh at whatever they please," I smiled, my mind drifting a little from what was truly important about our conversation. "And yet he always chooses to be nice to me, too. I suppose that he's the closest I've ever had to a brother. Though we many fight on occasion just like you and your sister, even so I'm kind of jealous; I grew up an only child so I can't really relate from personal experience, but I can't imagine having a sibling that's your polar opposite…or even hates you…"

"I hate you, Haruhi…" Hikaru muttered under his breath as he stormed across the music room – the door closed after him with a slam, which caused the two of us on the staircase to jump; Nekozawa's hood flopped from his head and the sunlight poured onto his face through the windows, and he screamed like a banshee before racing away without giving me a chance to speak - and slumping onto a sofa at the end farthest from the others to brood. They all look at him with confusion, and Kaoru motioned for the others to stay. "How could you even say that? I can't believe I ever liked you so much…" He noticed his brother approaching and folded his arms moodily across his chest, turning away with an infuriated pout.

"What's up with you?" Kaoru asked, kneeling on the floor beside Hikaru. "I thought you were just going to get Haruhi back in here?"

"Haruhi, she's just—aargh!" Hikaru jerked angrily and he turned his head to glare up at the ceiling. "Don't even say her name, Kaoru. I can't freaking stand it, any more!" Kaoru frowned, utterly perplexed.

"Hikaru, what the hell are you—"

"I just hate her, that's what!" was the retort, and Hikaru glowered at his brother with a stare of death. "Haruhi, that cheating little– well, she was just flirting with that creeper Nekozawa! I saw it! She was getting way too touchy-feely, and then she—"

"Cheating?" Kaoru repeated, shaking his head with both confusion and bewilderment. "Hikaru, seriously, what the freaking hell? Who was she cheating on? _You_?" Hikaru's face burned red; with anger or embarrassment, Kaoru couldn't tell. "Because from what I can tell, I think that you're in l—"

"Shut up, Kaoru!" Hikaru cried, leaping to his feet and shoving his brother angrily. "Just shut the hell up! You don't understand _anything_ about what's going on!" Koaru stared up at him from his heap on the floor, and HIkaru turned to walk stiffly to the store room. "Man, for my own brother you don't know anything about me," Kaoru was at a loss for words, or thought, as he rose to his feet. He stared after his brother, before starting blindly back to the other Hosts. I had returned by now, and Kaoru fixed me with a pained gaze. This was the first genuine fight he had ever had with Hikaru, and I seemed to be the cause of it. For a while Kaoru had been pondering what was really happening inside his brother's head, why it was always Hikaru who seemed to come off more embarrassed around me in particular. And then that word…cheating? How did that come into play in all of this? He had been wondering what had happened in the time we were alone after the Lobelia girls left us alone – for the time being – and what had really gone on when I had patched up his brother's wounds. Could there be some secret relationship between us? Was there a special reason Hikaru was so upset that he had even thrown down his own brother in a fit of rage? There was a word that played across Kaoru's scrambled brain, but he couldn't understand how it could possibly have formed with his brother. It seemed almost too intimate to occur within Hikaru's shadowed life, with no-one to truly care about but Kaoru; and now, because of this, he had no idea what was really happening.

"The poor old idiot…" he whispered to himself, but still I caught on to his words. "He has no idea how much this is going to hurt him…"

"Uurgh, I know exactly what you mean!" I said, and he looked at me quickly.

"Wha—y-you _do_!?"

"Of course," I shrugged, "I tried to convince him he'd turn things around somehow, but then the door slammed upstairs for some reason and things took a turn for the worse; he ended up running away with screams that his face was on fire," I sighed. "He still seems so depressed about all this…" Tamaki thought for a long moment, before peeling Kirimi's limbs from around him and setting her down on the ground. He knelt before her with an almost guilty expression. Kirimi frowned, cocking her golden head to the side and rubbing the toe of her shoe against the floor.

"Is something wrong?" she asked in that high voice of hers, "Tell me, big brother," Tamaki smiled gently, and he swallowed before he spoke.

"I'm sorry, little kitty-cat," he said in his mellowest, kindest voice. He put his finger beneath her chin, "But I'm not the big brother you've been looking for,"

"Huh?" Her eyes widened in surprise and sadness, and she simply stared at him. I looked at him, and he looked at me in return. His smile widened, ever so slightly, and he turned back to Kirimi.

"But, don't worry, little one," he continued, putting his hand on her shoulder. "He's still out there, Kirimi-chan. Believe it or not, you have a big brother who's even more handsome than I am," I smiled. It was a sentiment I had never expected Tamaki, of all people, to say. He had brought forth the compassionate side of him again, which still he only seemed to show when I was directly involved… Tamaki raised his hand from her shoulder and playfully ruffled her hair, twirling one of her golden pigtails around his finger. "And, I promise you, he's a real prince," Her already large blue eyes widened still further, and she let out a breath of wonder.

"But…senapi," I started, but he got to his feet and smiled.

"Once she stepped foot into this room," he said, his voice louder and clearer now, like an announcement, "Kirimi-chan became a guest of the Host Club; and it is our job to make all of our guests happy!" He turned his head down to look at the little girl standing before him. "It's an absolute tragedy to see a brother and sister at odds this way. We have to do something to help them," Kaoru looked silently from me to the door to the store room, slowly tearing his eyes between each in thought. He just wondered if brother and sister was all we really thought we were… "Starting now," Tamaki continued, turning to look at each Host in turn, a determined glint in his eye. "Operation; Prince Charming is underway!"

"Are you serious?" I asked, and he turned to me with a smile.

"But sir," the maid spoke again, stepping forwards and he turned to her. Those muddy brown eyes of hers were like slits again. "You intend to change Umehito from a Prince of Darkness to a Prince of Light? I don't know if that's even possible!" He opened his mouth to reply, but I stepped up to him.

"Senpai!" I said loudly, clearly, so he couldn't possibly mistake me. "Would you quit getting carried away with your emotions? Don't make promises you might not be able to keep!" He smiled calmly, placing his hands on my shoulders.

"Oh, ye of little faith," he grinned. The last time he said that to me his master plan was foiled in less than a split-second. "Have you forgotten that we have an _expert_ on our side? Someone who knows the importance of changing characters,"

"Who on Earth are you even talking about?" I asked, prising his hands from me.

"Renge," Kyoya said with a smile, "Of course," And there it was; that powerful rumbling as the floorboards opened once again and she rose from the ground upon her rotating platform – Kyoya was still smiling, and Renge waved back jovially. Kyoya had been smiling a lot lately. Every time she did that whole rising-up-from-the-ground thing I couldn't help but raise a million questions. I decided to put them off until a later date… Right now the only question was 'how are we supposed to reunite these two siblings who are in desperate need of the other?'

Within Kaoru's mind the same question was raised in a different context entirely.

…. ….

The curtains were pulled entirely shut, not a single ray of the sunlight outside could shine through. Music Room 3 was doused in black like the night sky, but there were no stars or moon to light it. We all sat in silence at one end of the room, facing the three tiny lights of the candles flickering from the candlestick in Neozawa's hand. I saw how long and thin his fingers were, noticed the pale tint of his skin. His melancholy cobalt eyes were closed as he spoke, a hand resting gently against his thin chest – which, for once, was not shrouded in cloaks. His fair hair hung sleek around his head, a fringe brushed across most of his left eye.

"Your golden locks," he said, and I saw now that the warbling voice was quite less disturbing once you saw him like this; now it was quite like birdsong, in a strange sort of way. "They glimmer in the candlelight; your skin like ivory. Your smile – mysterious as a flower, illuminated by the moonlight," Spoken from him I rather liked these words, like poetry. I knew, however, they were from a script devised late the previous evening my Tamaki and Renge. I knew that I wouldn't have like them if they were spoken from Tamaki's mouth, but with the mellow tone of voice and strange innocence from this strange new boy…it was really rather haunting. "Such beauty, Aphrodite weeps. It's as if…" He opened his eyes, and they seemed to glimmer black for a moment. "_You're a cursed waxed doll, shrouded in darkness and filled with malevolence!_" I sighed, rolling my eyes, and pushing myself off the desk to walk for the store room.

"I'm going back to look after Kirimi-chan, again," I told the twins as I passed. Hikaru shot me a queer look, as if wondering whether to hold me back and talk; three nights prior Kaoru had confronted him at home, but received no definite answer to our true relationship – Hikaru had insisted he knew nothing, just that he always wanted to hang around with me and felt mad whenever we didn't. He had apologised for cursing and hurting his brother, and Kaoru – in return – explained, with a false story, that I didn't know what I was doing and that I felt terribly sorry and confused and I just wanted to go back to being such close friends again. Hikaru mostly forgave me. Mostly. But that was only because of this strange feeling that would always arise whenever I was near and wouldn't go away for a long time. Sometimes it never went away. No matter how hard he tried of fought against it he couldn't understand what it could be; Koaur, however, faced no such ignorance. "It'll give that nurse of hers a break,"

As I slipped through the doorway – quick as I could, to avoid letting too much light into the room – Renge walloped Nekozawa across the head with her rolled up script.

"You've got it all wrong!" she cried, and he fell back whilst clutching tight to his throbbing scalp. "Numbskull! Who told you to say something like _that? _How many times do I have to tell you? _You're not allowed to use any occult terms_!"

"I'm really sorry!" Nekozawa moaned, cringing away from her, "Truly, I am! But my vocabulary is a bit limited without those words!"

"You're not allowed to talk back to me, you whelp!" Renge shouted, brandishing the rolled up piece of paper above her head. "You got that? A princely character would never try to come up with a cissy excuse like that! Any anyway—" She pointed the paper roll straight at his face, and he cringed. "—_that's what the script is for_!" Then she lowered it, and her voice did so considerably as well. "Now remember; it's okay to have a dark side, because some girls like that. Cute, brooding male characters always go over well with young girls. However, referencing anything that's even remotely related to the occult is simply out of the question!" She turned and brandished her finger – somewhat blindly – at the tall silhouette at the far end of the room. "Mori-senpai, go ahead and add that to the board!" Mori nodded, turning to the board and writing the desired sentence, alongside similar one like; 'I will not compliment her ability to call forth devils', and 'I will not ask her to perform blood pacts for her birthday present'.

"Looks like Renge is really on top of things," Kyoya said with a smile, folding his arms as he leaned further back against the desk he perched on.

"Yeah, she's on a roll," Honey said.

"I still don't think the lines she's feeding him are at all appropriate for his sister," Hikaru said boredly, suppressing a yawn.

"Skin like ivory? Aphrodite weeps?" Kaoru said, equally bored, "And you're just going to sit around and watch, Boss?" he directed at Tamaki, who shrugged.

"Of course – I don't want to end up with a curse on me,"

"Okay, it seems you've memorised most of your new character lines," Renge said sweetly, looking down at Nekozawa – sprawled on the floor and clutching his hair as his large blue eyes flicked endlessly left to right across the many words printed on the script laid out before him. "I think it's about time we moved on!" She bent and whisked the script from beneath him.

"Hey! Wait – n-no! I need that!" But Renge had already thrown it at Tamaki, who caught it, and Nekozawa turned on him in earnet. But, due to the light cast across his face from the candles, his complexion caused Tamaki to squeal and drop it before cringing away.

"Are you ready, senpai?" Renge continued with an expectant beam.

"Oh, please, no!" Nekozawa cried, falling back onto his knees and gripping his hands together in plea. "It's too soon!" But Renge was not to be denied her art – the art of changing characters, that is – and her hand thrust out towards Kyoya. He threw something to her, an Nekoawa's eyes widened. "No! Please! I-I'm not ready for this, ye—" A light burst into life, the surrounding room so dark it magnified the intensity by a thousand. Renge pointed it directly at Nekozawa who all but screamed, cowering away and throwing his arms before his face. "Stop! Stop this, please! I—"

"Don't let a simple flashlight get the better of you!" Renge shouted, "Work up your nerve! It's not physically affecting you, so that means it must be psychological! Even Edgar was able to face a cross, when he built up his courage!"

"Courage…?" Nekozawa whispered, and Renge clicked off the flashlight.

"Yes," she said primly as she folded her arms.

"E-Edgar?" Nekozawa lowered his arms and turned to look at her, frowning.

"Yes,"

"But I thought you rejected the occult?"

"Occult fiction is good," Renge replied, walking closer so they stood before one another. "Occult fashion is _not_," She momentarily clicked on the flashlight in his face, and he screamed, before turning it off again.

"Says you," Hikaru called.

"Yeah, don't judge him," Kaoru called, "You're the one who's always in weird cosplay,"

"Now, listen to me," Renge continued, not listening. "You've gotta put your heart to the delivery of these lines, you got that? You have to imagine that you're really talking to Kirimi-chan,"

"That's easy for you to say," Nekozawa conceded, before turning his head to look at the practice 'Kirimi-doll'. "But _that _doesn't look anything like her," It was true. Tamaki's stuffed bear in a pigtailed blonde wig resembled nothing even remotely close to Kirimi.

"Would you quit complaining!?" Renge bellowed, causing everybody in the room to jump. She strode over to the stuffed brown bear and raised it to Nekozawa so its glassy eyes stared at him blankly. "Look at her through the eyes of your heart. **_Eyes of your heart_**!" She pushed it into his face and he took it reluctantly.

"That's right," Tamaki encouraged, "You have to remember why you're doing this; it's all for Kirimi-chan's sake, so just give it a shot. It'll look like her if you just use your imagination!" The twins looked at him and then at one another, before they cracked into those well-practiced grins of the devil. Nekozawa was just staring at the expressionless doll in his hands, clearly struggling to even _want _to picture this ugly stuffed thing as his sister. The twins walked to the store room and grabbed the closest mannequin and shoved a brown wig – the one Tamaki had used to try and be me for the physical exams – onto its head. Hikaru took the right arm and Kaoru took the left, and they pushed and pulled it from the room. From our place behind the curtains, in a well-lit area filled with toys and pictures, neither myself nor Kirimi heard the slightest thing; she was too immersed in shoujo-manga to even care what was happening on the other side of the curtains.

"Here you go, Boss," the twins called cheerily, and he turned to them in surprise. "We got this one ready just for you!" Tamaki's eyes widened, his mouth twitching and falling slightly open. The mannequin was dressed in the swimsuit the twins had picked for the beach trip, the arms positioned in a pose only models would assume. "We think you should go ahead and confess your love to this Haruhi doll," Tamaki stared at it; it stared back, completely expressionless.

"Wait…" he said, stepping cautiously forwards, "You mean to tell me that _this_…is Haruhi?"

"Got it in one," Hikaru said.

"We figured you should teach Nekozawa-senpai how it's done," Kaoru said. "Lead by example, you know," Tamaki stopped just before the mannequin, chewing his bottom lip with discomfort. Everybody was watching him, even Nekozawa. His fists clenched and he closed his eyes tightly, shivering slightly with concentration as he willed to see this 'Haruhi doll' as the real thing. Through the eyes of his heart. There I was, sitting innocently on the floor before him, my arms, legs and stomach revealed and my skin clean and smooth. I looked up at him through those big brown eyes of mine, a blush creeping across my cheeks. He extended his arms to me, and I blinked blamelessly.

"H-Haruhi…I-I…"

"Yes…senpai?"

"I-I-I j-just wanted to tell you…" He faltered. I rose to my feet, blushing, and held my hands behind my head in the way the mannequin did. Tamaki's cheeks burned, and I batted my eyelashes and twitched by body so I leaned most of my weight on one leg.

"Yes, senpai?" I repeated in a low voice, and I bit my lip.

"Er, excuse me?" a loud voice drifted through Tamaki's mind, and he opened his eyes to see me standing beside him with eyebrows raised so high they were hidden by my fringe.

"Haruhi?" he breathed, looking slowly from me to the mannequin clutched in his arms with his leg wrapped around it. "Haruhi!" he cried, throwing it away and blushing madly. "Y-you're the real one! Aaerghuh—whe-when did you get here!?"

"Kirimi-chan says that she wants to see you again," I said flatly, and I looked disgustedly at the mannequin sprawled on the floor. "And if you've got time to do grotesque, sickening things like _this_…surely you can spend some time hanging out with her for a while," Tamaki looked as though I had just punched him in face.

"Gr-grotesque?" he repeated in a horrified voice, "S-s-sickening!? Haruhi, no! It was the twins' ide—" The two of them burst into laughter, and Tamaki shuffled away to the corner once more. They were cackling without any signs of stopping, even for breath, and Kyoya walked over to me.

"Well, weren't you just keeping her company just now?" he asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. Hikaru caught sight of him in his peripheral vision and his laughter faltered. "What's the matter? Don't you like children?"

"Well…" I shrugged, looking up at him. "To be honest I don't. I just find kids whiny and annoying, and then they just turn into moody old teenagers. I know I'm not really one to talk, but still…" I sighed, smiling faintly at Kyoya. "I guess I just prefer company of more mature people, who I can have sensible conversations with, once in a while,"

"Heh," he laughed softly, patting my shoulder. "Me too," Hikaru's eyes narrowed slightly.

"But on top of my initial dislike of young children," I continued, oblivious to Hikaru's discomfort that myself and Kyoya had just 'shared a moment'. "There's her crazy obsession with shoujo-manga…" I remembered with a shudder the last twenty-five minutes of my time with Kirimi.

'Read more, bookworm!' she had cried, sitting beside a stack of already finished volumes. I had wearily turned the pages, having to pause long enough for her to see all the pictures while I read aloud to her.

'I've finally made all of these fine young men my love slaves,' I said in a monotonous voice. This was the least fun I had ever had, and to think that such a young girl actually enjoyed this stuff? Something just wasn't right with the world, anymore. 'Oh my! Who shall I pick to have entertain me this evening?'

I shook my head and folded my arms.

"She's made me read about fifty volumes of shoujo-manga to her, over the last three days," I said to Kyoya. "And that's on top of how much her maid has been reading, too," I stuck my tongue out for a moment. "Those things are just full of reverse-harems and debauchery. It's not normal for a kid to read those things,"

"Big brother?" a small voice called, and I turned to see the store room door open and light was pouring in through the thin crack. A tiny silhouette was left there as Kirimi peered out into the darkened room. She looked around for a few seconds before tears welled in her eyes and she began to sob, "This room is so dark and scary! Want my big brother!" The door opened still more as she flung out her arms before bringing them to her eyes, and I turned with a groan to run for her.

"Oh, Kirimi-chan!" I said, trying to mask the exasperation in my voice. I bent before her and gently stroked her hair, shushing her quietly. "I asked you to wait for me in this room, didn't I?" Tamaki looked round from his corner, and hastily got to his feet to hurry over.

"What's wrong, little one?" he asked as he drew closer, and I turned to look at him. He picked Kirimi up in his arms and rubbed a hand up her arm. "There, there. Calm down," Nekozawa was watching with a saddened expression, his thin mouth hanging slight open. Tamaki began bouncing her up and down, and her tears subsided into giggles. "See? There's nothing to be afraid of!" He started twirling her around again, sweeping her up and then down through the air in circles. Nekozawa looked away, trying to block out the laughter of both Tamaki and his little sister. Then he couldn't bear it any longer. While everyone was watching us in the doorway Nekozawa got to his feet and snatched the flashlight from Renge's hand.

"Senpai?" Everybody turned to look at him, his teeth bared and shoulders hunched.

"I am a handsome, princely big brother," he said to himself. "I am a handsome, princely big brother. I am a handsome, princely big brother," He was chanting it now, his eyes clenched in concentration. His voice grew with intensity with each word he spoke. "I am a handsome, princely big brother. I am a handsome, princely big brother! I am a handsome, princely big brother!" He heaved a great breath. "I…am a handsome—" He raised the flashlight. "—_princely_—" Everyone's eyes widened, as he raised it to his face. "—**big**—" He opened his eyes and raised his finger above the switch. "—**_brotheeeeeer!_**"

Light erupted into his face and he screamed, but still he remained standing, light pouring into his eyes and causing his pale skin to gleam irdescant.

"I am a handsome, princely big brother, and I am not afraid of the light!" he shouted, and everyone's spirits lifted. Applause rained from every person, and Renge beamed at him.

"Nekozawa-senpai…" she breathed in awe. "Y-You did it! You've come such a long way. You're even able to shine a flashlight in your own face! I'm so proud of you!" She wiped away a tear that had come to her eye. His mouth wobbled in a smile, but still he kept the light shining.

"You really did it, senpai!" Tamaki laughed, setting Kirimi down on the ground. "You're little sister's going to be so thrilled!" Nekozawa stiffened at the mention of his sister, and he slowly raised his head. Tamaki bent down and placed a hand on Kirimi's shoulder, using the other to point at Nekozawa's back. "Look there, Kirimi-chan. That boy is your real big brother!" Her eyes widened and she couldn't hold back a gasp of wonder. She stared at him, seeing only a blnde silhouette for all the light streaming around him. Nekozawa slowly turned, the flashlight held slightly under his chin now. Once he faced her he looked down with his mouth parted in a wide smile.

"Kirimi…" he said quietly, and she stared up at him. "Kirimi!" He made as if to move towards her but he eyes widened still further and she took a terrified step back. The light cast large black shadows up his face, making it seem he had no nose and his eyes were only small lights glistening from within empty black sockets. She opened her mouth and for a moment nothing came out. Then she screamed. Such a scream the likes of which none of us had ever heard before. She didn't move, simply standing there and bawling to high Heaven. I clamped my hands over my ears, as did the twins. Honey raced for the nearest sofa a dove straight into it, finding the closest pillows and stuffing them over his head. Mori grimaced but withheld the din, and the high-pitched bellowing caused a chip to crack in Kyoya's glasses. He whipped them of and stared at them through wide grey eyes.

"Mooooooonnsteeeeeeeer!" Kirimi cried, pointing a finger straight at Nekozawa's shadowed face. Nekozawa dropped the flashlight and it shattered, but this did little to help. The room was now completely dark, causing Kirimi's screams to intensify. She turned and ran for the door, still screaming, tears streaming down her cheeks and pigtails flying behind her.

"Oh, Kirimi!" Nekozawa sobbed, slumping to his knees and pounding the floor with his fist. He fell forwards and buried his head beneath his arms, crying into the floorboards. We all looked at one another, before Tamaki took a tentative step forwards.

"Nekozawa-senpai?" The only response was a renewed vigour in his tears. Then, slowly, laboriously he raised his head. But still he stared at the floor, his long blonde hair hanging limp over his face.

"I've had enough…" he said through a cracked voice, "I can't handle this anymore, Suoh. Even if I continue your special training, there's no guarantee that Kirimi will ever accept me," He looked up at Tamaki through tear-stained eyes. "I th-think that she'd be better off…if you acted as her brother, in my stead,"

"But that's ridiculous," I said, stepping forwards and bending to my knees before him. I put a hand on his shoulder, and he stared at me through those miserable blue eyes. "You're the big brother she's looking for," I returned his gaze with earnest. Hikaru' fists clenched slightly. "Remember what I told you? That real princes would do anything to show their love and devotion?" He nodded meekly. I placed my other hand on his other shoulder, and shook him gently. "Well, I won't let you forget that. If you truly care about Kirimi-chan you'll do whatever it takes to win her over. If you truly love her…show her an act of compassion,"

He looked at me for a long time, his lip trembling. Then he raised those long, thin arms of his and he hugged me. Hikaru walked over to the curtain and began to pull it back across the windows. Light began pouring into the room, but – although he stiffened – Nekozawa refused to be overtaken by the light. Hikaru looked down into the courtyard, but then faltered.

"Hey, look," he said, beckoning his brother over. "Kirimi-chan hasn't even made it out of the courtyard, yet," Kaoru squinted to see down below, to where two small shapes could be seen.

"There's something down there with her," he said, trying to figure out what it was. "Oh. It's just a cat," Nekozawa froze. He turned his head slowly to the window, baring his teeth against the bright light that met him. His eyes widened.

"Your family sure does love cats," Hikaru said. He watched the fat white cat padding slowly towards Kirimi, its bushy tail flicking left to right. "Even strays warm up to you guys," Nekozawa leapt to his feet and ran to the window, pushing aside the twins and cupping his hands over his eyes to the glass.

"What did you say!?" he cried, looking frantically around the courtyard, his eyes darting blindly in the bright light. "Th-they're revered by our family – yes, that much is true – but Kirimi wouldn't participate in something like that," Everyone watched him, confused and a little afraid. "No, not something as 'occult' as befriending a stray cat. Kirimi is mortally afraid of all animals, and cats are the creatures she fears the most!" His voice broke, and he beat a fist angrily against the glass so that it cracked slightly. He looked at it in shock, but also revelation. He saw the cat below raising its hackles, and Kirimi's look of utter terror. He turned and strode the length of the room, as if to leave through the door, but just before it he turned and began pounding back towards the window. He was there before any of us realised what was happening.

"Nekozawa-senpai!" Tamaki yelled, starting forwards but Mori had already pushed him aside. Nekozawa placed a foot on a chair as he ran and propelled himself into a flying leap, raising a leg and kicking with all of his strength at the crack he had made. The glass shattered and he began to fall, hair and clothes whipping around him. Mori reached the window a split-second too late, sweeping an arm down and snatching at the boy before he plummeted. His fingers just missed Nekozawa's arm, and he hung from the window whilst keeping hold of the frame. We all gathered by to stare as he fell towards the lily pond directly below, and a mere second later he was submerged beneath the surface in an explosion of water. We all crowded around Mori, and I kept a tight hold of his arm to steady him as he swayed almost over the edge. He looked at me, and I exchanged the glance with a flick of my eyes before a soaking wet figure hauled themselves from the pond and began staggering dazedly around.

"He isn't even wearing his black cloak!" I cried, aghast, as Nekozawa started running to where Kirimi could be seen with the fat cat yowling at her. She was crying, unable to move form fear, the tears simply leaking down her petrified cheeks.

"Kirimi!" a voice shouted, and she pulled herself away from fear long enough to whip around. Nekozawa was racing towards her, determination steeling him against the sun. her eyes widened. It was him. "_Kirimi_!" The boy in the portrait.

"Big brother…" she whispered, her feet numbly setting themselves one in front of the other. "B-big brother!" Her footsteps quickened to a run, and she jumped into the air towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Nekozawa hugged her tightly, spinning around and around and crying with relief and happiness. From the window each one of us was cheering and whooping, even Mori was celebrating, and Nekozawa heard us. He turned to smile up at us, and Kirimi giggled. The cat stalked away into the bushes with a rustle, which caused Kirimi to turn and look wildly around. Nekozawa stroked the back of her golden head.

"There's no need to be afraid," he said softly, "Kirimi, I promise you I'll never let you get hurt. Alright?"

"Okay," she replied. "Big brother," She kissed his cheek, and he hugged her still tighter. "Ooh! And now we can have cake, and sweets and chocolate, and strawberries and lollipops and cookies and…" Nekozawa laughed heartily as Kirimi listed all of the sweet things in the world, and he carried her back inside. "Oh! And you can read me shoujo-mangas now, too!"

We were smiling from our crowded spot by the window, silent. Then Kyoya surveyed the broken glass and brought forth his little black book.

"Do you suppose we should settle a tab for this damage, or ask him to pay up-front?" he asked.


End file.
